Why Sadism/BDSM Interests Scare Me

[BlasterMaster]

siamese dream...I advise you do more research into BDSM and perhaps read a few well rated works/articles on it (AND I DO NOT MEAN THE PILE OF SHIT THAT IS SHADES OF GREY).

I can recommend one in particular. Try the drawn comic Sunstone. 😀

Here's a link to the author's DeviantArt: https://shiniez.deviantart.com

I will say that while certain colossal shitstains throughout history have done horrific shit using bondage, in a true, proper, and mature adult BDSM setting, bondage and tickle torture can be a safe, fun way for couples to spend time together and can even improve a person's sex life.

 

[siamese dream]

siamese dream...I advise you do more research into BDSM and perhaps read a few well rated works/articles on it (AND I DO NOT MEAN THE PILE OF SHIT THAT IS SHADES OF GREY).

I can recommend one in particular. Try the drawn comic Sunstone. 😀

Here's a link to the author's DeviantArt: https://shiniez.deviantart.com

I will say that while certain colossal shitstains throughout history have done horrific shit using bondage, in a true, proper, and mature adult BDSM setting, bondage and tickle torture can be a safe, fun way for couples to spend time together and can even improve a person's sex life.

I agree 100%, thank you for the comic recommend too.

I think people are misunderstanding my thoughts about aspects of bdsm that I struggle with fear and worry about how close it can skirt to abuse.

I have participated in bondage tickling as both a Lee and ler. I am excited by bondage tickling and "tickle torture"... Have even written stories here which eroticized non-consentual tickle torture... These were fantasy; in reality I do not agree with or desire non-con tickling...but, the excitement at these ideas, the thought that the same excitement likely is prevalent among people into pain and more traditional pain-based torture in bdsm rather than tickling, and the moral dilemma this brings up, the fear of where more extreme sadism can lead and the idea that sadists who do not respect boundaries or consent are a reality even if they are a tiny minority of people with these interests... That's what I was getting at. Not really an overarching fear of all bdsm or of the bdsm culture. More like a concern and anxiety about whether it's healthy for me to have these interests, whether it's healthy for others, and dread of the possibility of lines of consent and "play" being crossed into abuse and terror. I know intellectually, most bdsm is very safe, consensual, and often fulfilling. I hope myself to participate again in my own particular bdsm kink of tickling in a safe, fulfilling experience(s). This was just about a personal moral and visceral sort of fear of the dark extremes that unfortunately exist and can lead to terrible abuses. I am not trying to attack safe consensual bdsm or participants in safe consenting bdsm practices.

I haven't ever read 50 shades 😂. But hear it's crap writing and the kinks involved aren't my thing. But there are bdsm aspects in the tickling fetish that definitely ARE my thing and would no doubt greatly improve my sex life under the right circumstances with a trusted partner 😉

 

[BlasterMaster]

Dawwww...not a problem hun. (bear hugs) 😀

 

[Sandisk444]

I have participated in bondage tickling as both a Lee and ler. I am excited by bondage tickling and "tickle torture"... Have even written stories here which eroticized non-consentual tickle torture... These were fantasy; in reality I do not agree with or desire non-con tickling...but, the excitement at these ideas, the thought that the same excitement likely is prevalent among people into pain and more traditional pain-based torture in bdsm rather than tickling, and the moral dilemma this brings up, the fear of where more extreme sadism can lead and the idea that sadists who do not respect boundaries or consent are a reality even if they are a tiny minority of people with these interests... That's what I was getting at. Not really an overarching fear of all bdsm or of the bdsm culture. More like a concern and anxiety about whether it's healthy for me to have these interests, whether it's healthy for others, and dread of the possibility of lines of consent and "play" being crossed into abuse and terror.

I'd equate what you're concerned about to getting into a car with someone as a passenger. You seeming have control of your situation until that car starts moving. In reality, you really don't have much control on where the car goes or how fast because you're not the one at the controls. The driver can do whatever they want, they can drive you where ever they want, they could crash the car if they really felt like it, but you get into the car with them because you trust them not to do that. You have a check list in your head that you use to determine who you want to get into a car with and who you wouldn't and you trust that check-list intrinsically (I assume, perhaps you really do have similar anxiety related to getting into a car with someone. In which case I'd say you have big issues with trust in general to which I would suggest maybe counselling or something).

I think the idea of it being related to sexuality inherently makes people think to the "worst case scenario" immediately. In both situations, your body is in the hands of the person you have in the "driver's seat" but you're confident in your ability to choose someone to drive you around and apprehensive about who to choose as your partner. You wouldn't get in the car with someone you think may hurt you, so you wouldn't engage in play with someone you think will either.

I get that it's not a 1:1 comparison and I'm generalizing some of the nuance involved, but you have the perception of who you want to trust and who you don't. That doesn't change as soon as sexuality becomes a factor. Once you feel confident in your ability to pick a partner, the fear of them overstepping boundaries won't feel so insurmountable (they won't disappear, but they won't make you slam the door before looking through it).