Why stay?

[FootballGuy]

Dude, you're over 50, aren't you?
The market is heavily favored for males in that age bracket.

BAHAHA! Legit almost spit out my drink!

I like your style Wolf

 

[FootballGuy]

I think you've hit upon a key point in all these unhappy stories.
It seems a lot of them never bothered to tell their SO what they wanted, so, the SO never got the chance to be cool with it.

I've never been in a relationship for longer than a few months where I didn't tell her. The thing is, a lot of times they'll try it and be cool with it for awhile but it fades. "Oh you want that again?!". They get sick of it or realize 8 months later that it's not for them. I've walked away from some wonderful women over the years because of it. It's really more sad than anything.

 

[meangry]

I don't understand this much because it's never been or felt like a problem.

It probably comes down to psychology. What aspects of tickling do it for you? Because tickling and sexuality are so linked for me, there's an element to it and what I enjoy that feels intrinsic. It's also something that gets brought up as early as the second or third date and that it is a make or break for me. I've never had issues there...nor have I felt like I had to settle, because the stuff that turns my crank about tickling isn't focused solely on its torture properties. Anyone can be converted. That's my feeling on it.

I've had four relationships in college with very different women of different ages. Every one of them enjoyed our tickle games.

 

[Vanillaphant]

Lots of things actually. More than I want to get into here.

Are you worried you might get tricked into building another barn for shelterless alpacas? Cos I would be if I were you! 😛

robmic, I know you weren’t trying to be funny when you mentioned the alpaca thing, but I did almost piss my pants laughing all the same! Just caught me off guard, I suppose. You’ve got to admit, of all the things one might lose in a break-up, a small, self-made, alpaca-filled barn is a pretty obscure one! lol

 

[robmic]

Are you worried you might get tricked into building another barn for shelterless alpacas? Cos I would be if I were you! 😛

robmic, I know you weren’t trying to be funny when you mentioned the alpaca thing, but I did almost piss my pants laughing all the same! Just caught me off guard, I suppose. You’ve got to admit, of all the things one might lose in a break-up, a small, self-made, alpaca-filled barn is a pretty obscure one! lol

The barn isn't the big deal, more the effort doing it for her. I did more at her place than anyone before or since. But that's just the way I am. I can't help myself. So, I am just being careful that I don't get into a situation like that again. I'm getting too old for that shit! 😛

 

[chicago]

I find it pretty unfair how people are judging me based on what i look like or how old i am as if i havent also had trouble in this area.

I can understand the judgment, but it doesnt feel very nice. Ive had issues in the past that i had to get over in order to have the confidence to go after what i want. Ive dealt with rejection, dry spells etc. Just, i dunno, dont assume shit about a person because of their appearance.

 

[Wolf]

BAHAHA! Legit almost spit out my drink!
I like your style Wolf

Thanks.
Call 'em as I sees 'em.
Most guys who are whining about the dating pool or how easy "pretty young girls" (yeesh) have it aren't really looking at the big picture.
I've know several women (and I married one) who can attest that it's less than thrilling having a bunch of random guys think you're their damn soulmate because you're a pretty redhead, or because you like tickling, or you know that Marvel and DC are different universes, or whatever other reason they've made up in their heads.

In the grand scheme of everything that's out there, it's just not that weird, and most people would do just fine if they stopped being weird about it themselves.
Not what they do, which is their own business, but how they act about it.

 

[chicago]

I just feel like it would be unfair to assume someone not considered attractive by limited society standards was a virgin who never got play.

To me, it feels just as unfair to be reduced to a one dimensional picture. People are more complex than that.

 

[Wolf]

I just feel like it would be unfair to assume someone not considered attractive by limited society standards was a virgin who never got play.
To me, it feels just as unfair to be reduced to a one dimensional picture. People are more complex than that.

Thankfully, I learned a long, long time ago that conventional physical beauty has little to do with attractiveness, except in someone else's head.
That's tough for a lot of people to learn, because they have to let go of preconceived notions of other people, or how things just aren't fair.

 

[Vanillaphant]

The barn isn't the big deal, more the effort doing it for her. I did more at her place than anyone before or since.

Oh I completely get that! Christ, if I built a barn for someone, I'd want either (a) a large sum of money, or (b) their soul lol. It was just the unusual nature (from an outsider's POV, you understand) of the alpaca thing that made me chuckle!

You do right to try and make yourself happy! 🙂

 

[J&B ATW]

In my opinion, a partner who doesn't have the fetish but indulges you - even occasionally - should be treated as if they've given you a gift. When B tickles another girl (or just talks to me about doing it) I try to do something nice for her in return. Showing appreciation in whatever manner I think makes people more easily put up with us crazies...

 

[chicago]

In my opinion, a partner who doesn't have the fetish but indulges you - even occasionally - should be treated as if they've given you a gift. When B tickles another girl (or just talks to me about doing it) I try to do something nice for her in return. Showing appreciation in whatever manner I think makes people more easily put up with us crazies...

Aw, that sounds like a pretty good set up.

 

[Wolf]

In my opinion, a partner who doesn't have the fetish but indulges you - even occasionally - should be treated as if they've given you a gift. When B tickles another girl (or just talks to me about doing it) I try to do something nice for her in return. Showing appreciation in whatever manner I think makes people more easily put up with us crazies...

Amazing, isn't it? Treating your partner well means they want to treat you well.
I mean, who doesn't want to see their partner happy?
Sounds like you both married well.

 

[J&B ATW]

Aw, that sounds like a pretty good set up.

It is! But I've learned not to push... A quick story - I bought an inversion table off of Craigslist a couple years ago. It's great for your back, and of course the one I got had super secure ankle cuffs on it! I put B in it a couple times, and she couldn't get out, and the best part is you could remove the foot bar part. Anyways..

One of her (our) friends was over, we were all having beers, and B suggested to our friend that she check out our inversion table. She eagerly agreed, kicked off her flip-flops, and we locked her in and I removed the foot bar. She was totally trapped, and her bare soles were basically at eye level. I stepped out of the way, smiled at B, and was ready to watch her tickle her friend to death. She shook her head no.

I was so bummed inside. I'd spent a bunch of time and a few bucks and had been looking forward to having another girl lock up and tickled. This was the opportunity I had planned and waited for.

The old me would have gotten pissed and let B know that I was pissed. But I hid my disappointment and figured there was a reason - she's not shy about tickling other girls at all, usually. When we talked about it much later, it turns out it was something more complicated than I knew about.

 

[FootballGuy]

I find it pretty unfair how people are judging me based on what i look like or how old i am as if i havent also had trouble in this area.

I can understand the judgment, but it doesnt feel very nice. Ive had issues in the past that i had to get over in order to have the confidence to go after what i want. Ive dealt with rejection, dry spells etc. Just, i dunno, dont assume shit about a person because of their appearance.

I'm sorry for sort of dragging you into the point I was making. My point was a general one and really could've been about any attractive woman not just you. I thought you were referring to yourself when you disagreed with me so I went with that. Again, sorry for making you uncomfortable and, for the record, my comment was more about you being a woman than being attractive.

I don't think it's unfair to assume that young, attractive women are going to have an easier time finding play than your average dude. That's just how it is.

And to be perfectly clear, nobody is being reduced to only their looks here. Personality keeps people interested but looks are infinitely helpful in getting people interested in the first place. Looks do matter and there's nothing wrong with that. Let's not pretend being more physically attractive isn't more advantageous and let's also not pretend that being a woman with a tickle fetish isn't more advantageous either. It's just the way it is. I'm not complaining or saying you (or any woman on here) have it easy. I'm just calling it like I see it.

Your originally question asked "Why Stay?" and I did my best to answer you. I have not been as fortunate with tickling so I take whatever I can get. I'm probably not the only guy who does.

 

[Wolf]

I'm sorry for sort of dragging you into the point I was making. My point was a general one and really could've been about any attractive woman not just you. I thought you were referring to yourself when you disagreed with me so I went with that. Again, sorry for making you uncomfortable and, for the record, my comment was more about you being a woman than being attractive.

I don't think it's unfair to assume that young, attractive women are going to have an easier time finding play than your average dude. That's just how it is.

And to be perfectly clear, nobody is being reduced to only their looks here. Personality keeps people interested but looks are infinitely helpful in getting people interested in the first place. Looks do matter and there's nothing wrong with that. Let's not pretend being more physically attractive isn't more advantageous and let's also not pretend that being a woman with a tickle fetish isn't more advantageous either. It's just the way it is. I'm not complaining or saying you (or any woman on here) have it easy. I'm just calling it like I see it.

Your originally question asked "Why Stay?" and I did my best to answer you. I have not been as fortunate with tickling so I take whatever I can get. I'm probably not the only guy who does.

Why do you think it's so advantageous being a woman with a tickle fetish?

 

[FootballGuy]

Math. There's more men with a tickle fetish than women.

 

[chicago]

I'm sorry for sort of dragging you into the point I was making. My point was a general one and really could've been about any attractive woman not just you. I thought you were referring to yourself when you disagreed with me so I went with that. Again, sorry for making you uncomfortable and, for the record, my comment was more about you being a woman than being attractive.

I don't think it's unfair to assume that young, attractive women are going to have an easier time finding play than your average dude. That's just how it is.

And to be perfectly clear, nobody is being reduced to only their looks here. Personality keeps people interested but looks are infinitely helpful in getting people interested in the first place. Looks do matter and there's nothing wrong with that. Let's not pretend being more physically attractive isn't more advantageous and let's also not pretend that being a woman with a tickle fetish isn't more advantageous either. It's just the way it is. I'm not complaining or saying you (or any woman on here) have it easy. I'm just calling it like I see it.

Your originally question asked "Why Stay?" and I did my best to answer you. I have not been as fortunate with tickling so I take whatever I can get. I'm probably not the only guy who does.

I think you assume, judge, form an opinion, and decide that it is truth based on YOUR perception and experiences. Most do, but for you to place that on me or other people, is unfair. Like I've never been in your shoes and you've never been in mine, so you can't really say there just one way to see this.

It's not a fact that women have it "easier" (whatever that means.) Nor is it a fact that men have a harder time.

Personality keeps some people interested, maybe not everyone. Looks can be helpful or hurtful.

Looks matter to some and to some they don't. And what's attractive to some isn't to others.

I'd like to see proof of this fact that there are more men with a tickling fetish. I don't think adult website membership is any indication.

And that's fine if that's how you see it. Just trying to show you that there are other possibilities than the very rigid ones you've set up here. And it may help to allow for those possibilities when responding to folk so you don't make them feel like they're just being categorized into a box.

Now, if we could move on to why other folk stay in relationships if they're unhappy, instead of this, that'd be awesome.

 

[Wolf]

Math. There's more men with a tickle fetish than women.

So being in the minority is an advantage?
Only from your point of view, because you're seeing numbers as competition.
You might want to ask a woman about that.

 

[Wolf]

It is! But I've learned not to push... A quick story - I bought an inversion table off of Craigslist a couple years ago. It's great for your back, and of course the one I got had super secure ankle cuffs on it! I put B in it a couple times, and she couldn't get out, and the best part is you could remove the foot bar part. Anyways..

One of her (our) friends was over, we were all having beers, and B suggested to our friend that she check out our inversion table. She eagerly agreed, kicked off her flip-flops, and we locked her in and I removed the foot bar. She was totally trapped, and her bare soles were basically at eye level. I stepped out of the way, smiled at B, and was ready to watch her tickle her friend to death. She shook her head no.

I was so bummed inside. I'd spent a bunch of time and a few bucks and had been looking forward to having another girl lock up and tickled. This was the opportunity I had planned and waited for.

The old me would have gotten pissed and let B know that I was pissed. But I hid my disappointment and figured there was a reason - she's not shy about tickling other girls at all, usually. When we talked about it much later, it turns out it was something more complicated than I knew about.

Smart move. It's better to find out why something didn't go your way than to get pissy and resentful about it. Boundaries are important, and once you know what they are, there's usually a lot more leeway than you think.

 

[FootballGuy]

I think you assume, judge, form an opinion, and decide that it is truth based on YOUR perception and experiences. Most do, but for you to place that on me or other people, is unfair. Like I've never been in your shoes and you've never been in mine, so you can't really say there just one way to see this.

Nah, it's based on a combination of what I've experienced AND what others (particularly women on here) have said and experienced. I'm just relaying all of that back. You don't have to be someone to see they have it easier. Black people know very well that whites have it easier without actually being white.

It's not a fact that women have it "easier" (whatever that means.) Nor is it a fact that men have a harder time.

I don't see the point in denying it. And why does this bother you so much? I don't understand? There are more men than women ergo it's easier for women. It's just math. Put 40 women and 60 men with a tickling fetish in a room and see who has an easier time finding people to play with.

There are more TMF'ers who are men and pretty much every tickling group on Fetlife has significantly more men than women. Also, more men pay for tickling than women (supply and demand).

Personality keeps some people interested, maybe not everyone. Looks can be helpful or hurtful.

Looks matter to some and to some they don't. I don't think it's pretending if someone has a differeing opinion.

I agree with all of this and never indicated otherwise. Only said that looks are an advantage. There's nothing rigid about that point. You misunderstood me.

 

[chicago]

I'm not even going to touch your comparison to the differences in blacks and whites.

And again, your experiences and other things you have read do not make it fact for everyone. In your opinion, women have it easier because maybe you've had trouble and read that some women were able to experience things more often than you. It seems that getting it at all under any circumstance is all that matters in this context of easier vs harder. It's like, if you have a bunch of broken tools, are you better off than someone who has no tools, even if neither one of you can fix anything? lol

It's more than a numbers game.

 

[FootballGuy]

So being in the minority is an advantage?
Only from your point of view, because you're seeing numbers as competition.
You might want to ask a woman about that.

It's certainly an advantage when it comes to finding someone to play with. Are you suggesting that if we put 40 women and 60 men in a room as part of a tickle meet up, that the men wouldn't have a harder time finding someone to play with??!!

Nah, I don't see it as competition. It's because people only have so much time.

You think I haven't talked to women about this privately or on FetLife over the last 10 years? You know what's worse than an inbox full of men who want to play with you? An empty inbox.

 

[chicago]

It's always greener on the other side... I think we can look at this without it being about who has it easier or not. I think everyone has their difficulties.

 

[FootballGuy]

I'm not even going to touch your comparison to the differences in blacks and whites.

And again, your experiences and other things you have read do not make it fact for everyone. In your opinion, women have it easier because maybe you've had trouble and read that some women were able to experience things more often than you. It seems that getting it at all under any circumstance is all that matters in this context of easier vs harder. It's like, if you have a bunch of broken tools, are you better off than someone who has no tools, even if neither one of you can fix anything? lol

It's more than a numbers game.

I agree that my experiences and the experiences of others are opinion but that's not all I'm basing it on. Go to a Fetlife tickling group and count the men and women. You'll find more men pretty much every time. That part IS fact.

I agree it's more than a numbers game but the numbers being tilted in your favor helps. It doesn't mean you're living it up and have it easy. It just helps.

By the way, I know it's the internet so it's hard to tell but I'm just talking calmly here discussing this with you. No hostility or nothing. 🙂