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Why stay?

I have a dear friend; my oldest friend, as a matter of fact, who's married to a man with advanced MS. They can't have sex in the way she'd like. It's an issue they're both aware of, and they make their own adjustments so that both are happy; and they are definitely happy together.

That's a reason to stay, in spite of sexual compatibility.
Sexuality is not the end all, be all of a relationship, but is is something you should be honest about.
But letting your partner think you're happy, while you're looking for something else, is another matter entirely.
 
Lately my gal has been a bit befuddled about the whole tickle situation, being the cool no worry person I am in our first date I placed it on her loud and clear, "I have a fetish, its a fetish some don't understand, to be honest I don't completely understand ether, its for tickling if you want to be with me you must understand"
 
why stay???? Well there could be a number of reasons. money, children, no opportunities etc. I'm sure some would leave if there were no consequences with the decision. Sometimes having half of something is better then all of nothing.

I agree. I was curious as to what those reasons were for folk here thus the making of this thread.

I appreciate all the responses thus far
 
It's easy for those who have a tickle partner, whom they met on this site, to say "why stay".
Unfortunately we don't all live in a tickle dominated world, a stones throw from NEST, etc.
Yes tickling is important to me, part of my life really. But I wouldn't not consider a potential girlfriend / partner,
just because she wasn't as into tickling as I am.
 
It's easy for those who have a tickle partner, whom they met on this site, to say "why stay".
Unfortunately we don't all live in a tickle dominated world, a stones throw from NEST, etc.
Yes tickling is important to me, part of my life really. But I wouldn't not consider a potential girlfriend / partner,
just because she wasn't as into tickling as I am.

I sense a bit of hostility, whats behind that?

I was referring to folk who were in relationships with people that were totally not into tickling at all vs maybe being into it or puts up with it like it sounds youre implying.

To each their own. Thanks for replying
 
I know a woman who is sure that it's a mistake to live in a relationship without passion for each other, when everything else is fine. Although that's her own choice, to live with a man she cares for and who cares for hero, but with no passion and sexual appeal.
So the real question is - can you feel passion for each other in a relationship with a person not into tickling?
Otherwise you'll have to get it somewhere else, either from other people or from sublimation into work, or suppression of your emotions which is also not great.
 
Don't know if I've chimed in on this thread or not, but here's my 2 cents worth (inflation not included). Met my wife in the late 70's. No real tickle scene then, at least that I knew of; only an occasional letter to Madame X in Penthouse about tickling. While dating, I did some light tickling to her; found she wasn't into it. Didn't stop me from trying thru the years. Fast forward, thru the good and the bad - we're still together. I still try to tickle her once in a while (especially when she lets me use bondage during.....well). When I tickle her, she threatens to divorce me; hell, maybe I should just have myself one good time and.... But why stay? well, obviously other interests counteract my tickle-desire, altho that is still there. Probably always will be. I think it's called "compromise". As the lyrics in the Rolling Stones song go -

"you can't always get what you want,
but if you try sometimes,
you might find
you get what you need..."

or something like that.
 
Thanks for that perspective, rdhd. I understand there are varying levels to which tickling is important to people. If you can be happy without it or with a minimal amount, thats awesome.
 
I have enjoyed reading all of the responses. I must admit, I was surprised when I first joined and saw that a mutual interest in tickling was an important factor in so many relationships. Now I am not saying that flippantly or to be be judgemental, I think everyone has a right to seek out the most compatible partner possible, I just did not realize tickling was that important to so many people 🙂

I am firmly in the camp of "I don't NEED tickling in my marriage to make it work." Sure, it is nice when my husband incorporates it into foreplay, but I guess for me, tickling is only one aspect of my sexuality. Maybe it is because I tend to be very voyeuristic and can get my fix from reading stories, watching videos or interacting here, but I just do not consider my husband's lac of a tickle fetish to be a problem
 
I have enjoyed reading all of the responses. I must admit, I was surprised when I first joined and saw that a mutual interest in tickling was an important factor in so many relationships. Now I am not saying that flippantly or to be be judgemental, I think everyone has a right to seek out the most compatible partner possible, I just did not realize tickling was that important to so many people 🙂
I am firmly in the camp of "I don't NEED tickling in my marriage to make it work." Sure, it is nice when my husband incorporates it into foreplay, but I guess for me, tickling is only one aspect of my sexuality. Maybe it is because I tend to be very voyeuristic and can get my fix from reading stories, watching videos or interacting here, but I just do not consider my husband's lac of a tickle fetish to be a problem

Definitely.
I think couples can be perfectly happy with any level of sexuality or sexual compatibility (like fetishes and other preferences), as long as they love each other, and they're honest.
Sex and sexual compatibility are great, but they're far from the end-all, be-all.
 
Definitely.
I think couples can be perfectly happy with any level of sexuality or sexual compatibility (like fetishes and other preferences), as long as they love each other, and they're honest.
Sex and sexual compatibility are great, but they're far from the end-all, be-all.

I couldn't agree more
 
I sense a bit of hostility, whats behind that?

I was referring to folk who were in relationships with people that were totally not into tickling at all vs maybe being into it or puts up with it like it sounds youre implying.

To each their own. Thanks for replying

No hostility lol.
Just pointing out the fact that there seems to be this very narrow minded view going around, that even long term partners should be 'dumped'
if they're not into tickling. No compromise, no talking, just give them the old heave ho!!
As I said tickling is an important part in my life as well ............... but shit, some of you people are harsh!!
 
No hostility lol.
Just pointing out the fact that there seems to be this very narrow minded view going around, that even long term partners should be 'dumped'
if they're not into tickling. No compromise, no talking, just give them the old heave ho!!
As I said tickling is an important part in my life as well ............... but shit, some of you people are harsh!!

That's nothing like what the OP said, and I don't think anyone has said "dump them".
The question was about those people who feel stuck in a dissatisfying relationship, or their partner is judgmental. That's not a recipe for happiness.
I think part of the issue with some may be that there hasn't been any talking about their fetish. At least, not with their long-term partners.
 
No hostility lol.
Just pointing out the fact that there seems to be this very narrow minded view going around, that even long term partners should be 'dumped'
if they're not into tickling. No compromise, no talking, just give them the old heave ho!!
As I said tickling is an important part in my life as well ............... but shit, some of you people are harsh!!

Where did you get that? Ive repeatedly said as well as others in this thread that peoples love for tickling here varies and if two people are happy together, with or without it, then more power to them. Tickling is really important to me and Id be pretty dissatisfied in a relationship without it. Its a deal breaker for me, but thats just my take on it.

Whats your situation like? Is your SO accepting of it? If not, how do you get your fix? Is that enough for you?
 
Where did you get that? Ive repeatedly said as well as others in this thread that peoples love for tickling here varies and if two people are happy together, with or without it, then more power to them. Tickling is really important to me and Id be pretty dissatisfied in a relationship without it. Its a deal breaker for me, but thats just my take on it.

Whats your situation like? Is your SO accepting of it? If not, how do you get your fix? Is that enough for you?

My apologies Op, my comments were not directed at you at all.
I met my tickle partner on Fetlife after pretty much giving up here. lol
After being on this site since '03 (I started off under a different name), I became very disillusioned with a lot of the poor attitudes on here.
Tickling is a very large part of my life, but isolating it as an 'or bust' type of thing I find very limiting.
My SO had never heard of it as an out and out fetish, but being very open minded was certainly willing to try it.
We incorporate tickling with many other forms of play and find it absolutely wonderful.
Again apologies if I came across like I was critical of you of you. It was certainly not my intention. 🙂
 
No worries. Sorry if i came across some type of way too. Very cool that you found someone that you click with like that and while for me, i dont think i could be with someone who wasnt that into it, i can still appreciate what youre saying. Thanks for sharing
 
No worries. Sorry if i came across some type of way too. Very cool that you found someone that you click with like that and while for me, i dont think i could be with someone who wasnt that into it, i can still appreciate what youre saying. Thanks for sharing
It's interesting that maybe for women it's in overall more important to match their SOs sexually and in fetishes than for men.
Like Wolf said: "Sex and sexual compatibility are great, but they're far from the end-all, be-all."
I think I can also agree with that. But I know women who feel almost emotional pain from relationship with some sexual incompatibilities.
What you think? Although we are all equal, we can't deny that men and women are different in so many things..
 
I think everyone is different. You cant lump people together by gender on this
 
I dated a girl for about 8 months who wasn't ticklish at all but found out, through my fetish, that she was really into bondage and teasing. That worked for a while - for me - but we both knew there was something missing and I was never really satisfied with our sex life. This caused her a lot of emotional stress, and I felt terrible about it. It got to the point where she suggested I'd be better off with her roommate, who was one of those people everyone knows is ticklish and was tickled often...kinda like a running joke in her group of friends. We had conversations about including a third person but that was just talk and I knew it was just talk. The level of maturity that requires is rarely found in people in their early twenties.

The point I guess I'm trying to make, is that compatibility in the bedroom is important and can cause problems emotionally. When one partner doesn't feel as though they are able to satisfy the other, there is resentment. However, in my experience anyway, being honest about my fetish and having partners who were willing to indulge me resulted in a kind of sexual exploration they might not have had otherwise. More than once I've been with someone who had never experimented with bondage or anything else considered kinky, and in every case, it was a positive experience for both of us. Sometimes, once trust has been established, and if you take it slow and don't come across as a drooling, red-eyed lunatic, you can open doors that might not have been opened otherwise.

In my case we just weren't as compatible as I needed us to be, and it didn't work, but I do believe there could be a situation where two people might not be 100% on the same page with tickling, but have enough in common, sexually, to make it work.
 
I dated a girl for about 8 months who wasn't ticklish at all but found out, through my fetish, that she was really into bondage and teasing. That worked for a while - for me - but we both knew there was something missing and I was never really satisfied with our sex life. This caused her a lot of emotional stress, and I felt terrible about it. It got to the point where she suggested I'd be better off with her roommate, who was one of those people everyone knows is ticklish and was tickled often...kinda like a running joke in her group of friends. We had conversations about including a third person but that was just talk and I knew it was just talk. The level of maturity that requires is rarely found in people in their early twenties.

The point I guess I'm trying to make, is that compatibility in the bedroom is important and can cause problems emotionally. When one partner doesn't feel as though they are able to satisfy the other, there is resentment. However, in my experience anyway, being honest about my fetish and having partners who were willing to indulge me resulted in a kind of sexual exploration they might not have had otherwise. More than once I've been with someone who had never experimented with bondage or anything else considered kinky, and in every case, it was a positive experience for both of us. Sometimes, once trust has been established, and if you take it slow and don't come across as a drooling, red-eyed lunatic, you can open doors that might not have been opened otherwise.

In my case we just weren't as compatible as I needed us to be, and it didn't work, but I do believe there could be a situation where two people might not be 100% on the same page with tickling, but have enough in common, sexually, to make it work.

I think that's about the most compassionate and mature way I've ever seen anyone here describe a relationship like that.
 
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