Would you rather tickle someone who loves or hates to be tickled?

[LindyHopper]

"I know you hate it, baby. But I dig it, and after all, that's what's important here." If you value your own pleasure over that of your partner, I guess that's a good way to express it.

Not at all. Have you ever felt good about doing something nice for someone else? Especially someone you cared about? That's what we're talking about here. Several posters on this thread have mentioned occasionally tickling partners who don't care for tickling, but who do care for them. And none of them described demanding that their partners comply, or disregarding their feelings. The consideration is two-way, and probably reciprocated. I imagine that the person who didn't care for tickling, but who offered it anyway because it made their partner happy, probably got something else "in exchange" later on down the line. Generosity and happiness tend to breed more of the same.

Anyway, I think in a good love partnership, the focus shouldn't be on what you take (or don't take) from your partner. It should be about what you give. I've heard advice to married couples to strive to give 90% in the relationship, and expect to get 10% back. If you both do this, you'll make each other very happy.

 

[Redmage]

Not at all. Have you ever felt good about doing something nice for someone else? Especially someone you cared about? That's what we're talking about here.

Quite right. There's a very large difference between asking someone to do something they don't like, and showing your appreciation when it is offered.

There's also a specific dynamic for many submissives, whereby they offer themselves for something that they don't enjoy for its own sake - such as tickling - because they DO enjoy being taken through that difficult territory by someone who does enjoy it, and who loves them for making that gift. So it's not as if the sub isn't getting something out of the deal in a case like that.

 

[BellaRisa]

Quite right. There's a very large difference between asking someone to do something they don't like, and showing your appreciation when it is offered.

There's also a specific dynamic for many submissives, whereby they offer themselves for something that they don't enjoy for its own sake - such as tickling - because they DO enjoy being taken through that difficult territory by someone who does enjoy it, and who loves them for making that gift. So it's not as if the sub isn't getting something out of the deal in a case like that.

Absolutely. Case in point: my Top has an old fashioned school paddle that I truly dislike, not because it's so terrible but because I prefer thuddy over sting and this little number stings. Why do I allow him to use it? A few reasons. I know how much he loves it-the way it feels in his hand and the unique sound it makes upon impact. It helps a lot with our role-play fun and I know how much he enjoys such scenes (as do I!). And frankly, my vain side knows how hot he thinks I look in the right position for that toy-I feel very lovely in his eyes. But most importantly I know from his own lips how much of a gift he feels I'm giving him, both by allowing the play and trusting him to see me through the scene safely, physically and emotionally. He feels as cherished as I do and that makes us both happy

Now having said all that, I don't think anyone here would enjoy tickling or spanking or what have you with someone who really, honestly and truly despised the activity. fantasy sure, but not in reality. As Tero said there are different types of enjoyment, and sometimes endurance of something that makes you crazy has a different but equally valid kind of reward. I keep that thought in my head every time I face the treadmill 😀

Bella

 

[drew70]

I guess I'm old-fashioned and come from a culture with a different value set. I believe in treating women well, going out of my way to insure they are comfortable and/or enjoying themselves. I have zero interest in taking them through something they dislike. I much prefer taking them through something they enjoy. Maybe I'm unique in this philosophy, but that's what I've found gives me and the ladies with whom I've been intimate the most satisfaction in a relationship.

I make no secret of the fact I love being tickled. However, if a woman who hates tickling people offered to tickle me as a favor, or "gift," I'd have to politely decline the offer. I just can't justify sacrificing her enjoyment to achieve my own.

 

[Redmage]

Now having said all that, I don't think anyone here would enjoy tickling or spanking or what have you with someone who really, honestly and truly despised the activity. fantasy sure, but not in reality.

Yeah, that's a funny thing. If I don't think the lady is getting something out of it, then it doesn't work for me, even as a gift. Actually that feels kinda nasty, even in theory. But if I know she'll enjoy pleasing me even if she doesn't specifically enjoy the way she's doing it, that's special.

 

[Redmage]

Now having said all that, I don't think anyone here would enjoy tickling or spanking or what have you with someone who really, honestly and truly despised the activity. fantasy sure, but not in reality.

Yeah, that's a funny thing. If I don't think the lady is getting something out of it, then it doesn't work for me, even as a gift. Actually that feels kinda nasty, even in theory. She needs to be getting at least as much out of whatever we're doing as I am, in whatever way she's getting it. If I know she'll enjoy pleasing me even if she doesn't specifically enjoy the way she's doing it, that's special.

 

[drew70]

Yeah, that's a funny thing. If I don't think the lady is getting something out of it, then it doesn't work for me, even as a gift. Actually that feels kinda nasty, even in theory. She needs to be getting at least as much out of whatever we're doing as I am, in whatever way she's getting it. If I know she'll enjoy pleasing me even if she doesn't specifically enjoy the way she's doing it, that's special.

It seems to me from all that's been said, that the ideal scenario would be for you to give her something (tickling, spanking, massage, whatever) that you enjoy giving, AND she enjoys receiving. That way you have it all. She doesn't have to endure something unpleasant in order to please you. Moreover you can both be pleased at the pleasure the other experiences.

 

[Luv2Tickle69]

I've found the most gratifying tickling sessions I've been involved in encompassed a number of factors:

1) The willingness of the 'lee in question to being tickled
2) The apprehensiveness once the tickling started
3) The natural defenses going to work as the tickling continued
4) The strength-sapping laughter eventually weakening those defenses
5) The surrender to the tickling, and the gradual change in reactions as the tickling takes on new turns (esp. as it leads to a more sensual, purposeful approach)
6) The 'lee then turning it around on me.....repeat steps 2-6...


.....and ....of course......the element of FUN has to be the theme all throughout.....before..during and after....

 

[Mitchell]

Personally, while the whole "torture someone who hates it" can be a bit of a turn on, I would much rather tickle a girl who loved to be tickled, rather than hated it. Especially if it was an intimate relationship, I would not relish the idea of tickling my partner, and then afterwards, having her think:" Gee, what an A$$hole Mitch is. He knows how much I hate to be tickled, and yet he does it anyway". That would bother me, because, if I reverse the situation, and I was the one who hated to be tickled, I wouldnt want my partner tickling me all the time to get her kicks in. The idea of knowing someone loved it, would be satisfying to both me, and her, which is a good thing, both sexually, and in other ways.

Mitch

 

[theniteavenger]

A girl who can take it but loves every minute of it, and while she losing control, she's thinkin about what she gonna do to me

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

I would rather tickle someone who loves it rather than hates it but that's just my opinion.




😛oke3:

 

[Illtcklu]

I would rather tickle someone who loves it rather than hates it but that's just my opinion.




😛oke3:

I agree! Some people who HATE it can get rather violent!

 

[indivision]

I'd like to tickle someone who likes it but appears to hate it. In other words, they don't hate you for tickling them, but at the same time they're squirming and pleading.

That's not the only tickling I would like, though. I would also like someone who likes it and makes no denial of that. This may not be the best example of this, since the girl was saying "No...stop" throughout the clip, but there is a clip at RealTickling where the TIB (I think that's who it was...it was a guy wearing a black mask, anyway) was tickling a girl on a bed. Her wrists were bound together with a chain, but they weren't bound over her head, so she could pull her arms down. There is one scene where he's tickling her underarms and she is laying back with her arms up, laughing and taking it. I thought that was just so hot!

 

[SharonP]

I'm in the minority here, because, you know, someone has to represent the demented sadists out there, but I only want to tickle people who hate tickling. And I only want to be ticked by people who hate tickling. I would enjoy watching two people who hated tickling be tied together and forced to tickle each other. Especially if they were both begging and pleading. I'd enjoy seeing someone in a Barbarella-like Tickle Machine. I love going to the beach and watching some kid tickle a parent.

Yes, this is vicious, mean, rude and cruel, but there you go. That's what I like.

 

[drew70]

I'm in the minority here, because, you know, someone has to represent the demented sadists out there...

Trust me, the TMF is all too represented in that area.

 

[AffectionateDan]

I infinitely prefer for the person I'm tickling to enjoy it, with one notable exception. A grudge tickle on my ex wife would be really fun. But other than that, it's only fun for me if it's mutual.

 

[steph]

No doubt. What's fun about the opposite? I'd have a better time smacking them over the head with a brick if I was into something non-consensual!

XOXO

I would rather tickle someone who loves it rather than hates it but that's just my opinion.




😛oke3: