chatroom rant

[mrlaskoskotacz]

I must admit that I don't understand something about this chatroom, and what seems obvious for others, but not for me.

I know that there exist suggestion that you should ask first in main chatroom before you PM someone, but... I already almost everyday from month in chatroom and never saw that someone ask anyone in chatroom request to PM. So, what's going on?

I learned that and I don't PM anyone, because I don't want to be consider as creep or something, but sometimes someone PM me and never ask in main chatroom in the first place. But, of course, I don't scream on this people, because I am on chatroom, because I want to... chat...

It that really hard to just close the window, or say that you don't want to talk, or ignore person? We really must create this strange rule, what no one, as I see it, obey? Because, in my opinion, this rule only create image of creep people in someone's mind, just because someone say "hey". I don't see any benefits from this rule.

Of course, maybe I am wrong and from perspective of women this can look differently, but I genuinely don't know how.

 

[Wolf]

I must admit that I don't understand something about this chatroom, and what seems obvious for others, but not for me.

I know that there exist suggestion that you should ask first in main chatroom before you PM someone, but... I already almost everyday from month in chatroom and never saw that someone ask anyone in chatroom request to PM. So, what's going on?

I learned that and I don't PM anyone, because I don't want to be consider as creep or something, but sometimes someone PM me and never ask in main chatroom in the first place. But, of course, I don't scream on this people, because I am on chatroom, because I want to... chat...

It that really hard to just close the window, or say that you don't want to talk, or ignore person? We really must create this strange rule, what no one, as I see it, obey? Because, in my opinion, this rule only create image of creep people in someone's mind, just because someone say "hey". I don't see any benefits from this rule.

Of course, maybe I am wrong and from perspective of women this can look differently, but I genuinely don't know how.

Imagine you're getting a string of unsolicited PM's that are simply, "hey" or "can we chat?". Now imagine a LOT of them. But it's your responsibility to keep clicking and closing on them, while you're trying to do something else. Oh, and it's up to you to avoid hurting someone's feelings by simply ignoring them, or calling them out for breaking the rules. Sound like fun?
Isn't just as easy to follow the rules?

 

[bellybutton0]

Im a rulebreaker. Guilty as charged throw on the cuffs.

 

[maniactickler]

If you're not going to name names, I don't see any point in posting about it.

Yeah, lets get a name so we can bomb her with horrible PMs.

 

[mrlaskoskotacz]

String of unsolicited PM's? A LOT of them? But when in chatroom is most people then there is around ~40 people. If someone had that kind string of PM's then it should be large fraction of all people in chatroom...

This not sound believable for me, but maybe I'm wrong.

Following rules aren't hard for me, but that rule, in my opinion, create in some of people's mind some kind of harrasment atmosphere and can potentially destroy fun.

And really... Anyone saw if someone ask in main chatroom before pm someone?

 

[JaySnow]

I don't think this needs to become another male vs female thing. The internet is full of assholes, male, female, male pretending to be female.

I agree! It's also the internet and the anonymity tends to give people false bravado. I just don't go into the chat room, there just isn't interest in 47 year old polite men LOL

 

[desdemona]

I agree! It's also the internet and the anonymity tends to give people false bravado. I just don't go into the chat room, there just isn't interest in 47 year old polite men LOL

Well... as a 45 year old polite female, I disagree

 

[rdhd]

You two young whippersnappers...... got ya beat by 10 years, easy.

 

[desdemona]

String of unsolicited PM's? A LOT of them? But when in chatroom is most people then there is around ~40 people. If someone had that kind string of PM's then it should be large fraction of all people in chatroom...

This not sound believable for me, but maybe I'm wrong.

Following rules aren't hard for me, but that rule, in my opinion, create in some of people's mind some kind of harrasment atmosphere and can potentially destroy fun.

And really... Anyone saw if someone ask in main chatroom before pm someone?

Yes... some people do ask to PM in the mainroom. I don't. Frankly, it reminds me of kindergarten. But I usually apologize for an unsolicited PM and ask if the other person is busy.

How many PMs? I've had 6-10 at least.... when I used to use "java" to chat on my laptop, those would pop up simultaneously, interrupting the flow of other chats sometime. But now, on "mobile" - it's hard to even see the room and see the PMs. So if someone even asks... well, I guess I'd have to say I'd look rude by not responding to a request. If everyone would lighten up... maybe, we could behave like adults and show respect and... oh, never mind. Have fun, it's a chatroom. Use it, don't abuse it.

 

[rdhd]

And really... Anyone saw if someone ask in main chatroom before pm someone?

Yes, I've seen it happen many times.

 

[col-campbell]

Is it really that much of a hardship to keep having to close PM windows? I mean, I have a pretty ambiguous SN in terms of gender so I get plenty of PMs from onanists thinking I'm a lady, but I just click 'em off and have done with it. Takes less than a second. There's also the 'ignore PMs' function which hasn't been mentioned here yet...

 

[Libertine]

My handle is apparently so close to 'Clementine' that some people often assume I'm female too.

Accordingly, I answer PMs in the main chatroom, asserting gender, naming names, and politely suggest said onanists (a) read my profile first and (b) type with both hands on the keyboard.

 

[Wolf]

Is it really that much of a hardship to keep having to close PM windows? I mean, I have a pretty ambiguous SN in terms of gender so I get plenty of PMs from onanists thinking I'm a lady, but I just click 'em off and have done with it. Takes less than a second. There's also the 'ignore PMs' function which hasn't been mentioned here yet...

I think ignoring PMs is also considered hurtful. Look, I don't know if it's any harder to close a chat window than it apparently is to just ask for permission to PM. But if we're going to keep putting responsibility on the recipient to not be rude, I suppose the whole "why have rules?" question is pretty valid. Personally, I don't think asking to PM is such a big deal, it's just common courtesy; which, by the way, is what you're asking the recipients to show when they're getting unsolicited PM's. I just figure if you're expecting someone to be polite, you should be polite yourself.

 

[JaySnow]

Well... as a 45 year old polite female, I disagree

LOL Well perhaps I'm painting with too broad of a brush, I stand corrected.

 

[lovesribs]

I ask permission to pm a girl. ironically it IS the girls who just jump on my page without permission because they think they can do so because they are girls and guys want to chat with them. let's face it the girls can get away with it.