F/M... why the stigma?

[leafstk]

Okay, I'm as hetero as they come, but like many here I enjoy tickle torture not only as a ler, but as a lee Too often have I seen f/m material here put down as being for "the ladies" or "the gay community" of the tmf. Don't get me wrong, to each his own, I'm not against those that choose to be "gay", but all too often I've seen allusions to f/m material here as such. Why is that?

I'll tell you why, as a hetero male ler/lee, why I enjoy f/m scenario's. Its awesome to picture myself in a scenario where I am at the mercy of a relentless female ler... is that so bad?? Maybe I'm over reacting here, but I think there's enough of us f/m lovers out there to clear the air. All I wanted to make clear was that f/m does NOT equal m/m.

 

[grippedchimp]

I don't understand at all, calling all male ticklees gay. I'm assuming people who suggest that fear that they would lose their control over a woman if they let themselves get tickled by them. I guess they've never heard of being a gentleman and giving a woman what she wants! I am of course talking from experience here!

 

[aticklishguy]

I agree with what you say. I am a male, and love to be tickled into helplessness just as much as I love to tickle a woman into helplessness. I would love to see more f/m in the group, but for now am happy with what is there.

 

[dtrell]

i dont think anyone ever said that f/m is gay, its just that the majority on here arent into it and dont want to see it. however, the majority on here feel that m/m is gay.

 

[Mitchell]

I'm definitely a switch when it comes to the lee/ler tickling thing. Having been gang tickled by girls in college, and being a very to extremely ticklish male, I have no problem with having a girl Iam with hold me down, or even tie me up, and tickle me. Iam not into being with only a female ler who isnt ticklish, or who hates to be tickled, and wont be a lee, but a switch is fine with me. As for a "stigma", I think that is more a persona then anything else. We have many male lees and switches around, and I personally think it is fine. To me, whatever floats a person's boat is okay, as long as no one else is being hurt.

Mitch

 

[ali32]

As a female ler, there is NOTHING sexier to me than a ticklish man, especially one who enjoys being tickled by a woman. In fact, I am marrying one next month!

I hate to think that some men think there is a stigma attached to this...there is no reason for it.

Ali32

 

[Em Es]

This discussion may interest you . . .

Leafstk, here's a recent TMF discussion that relates to your question:
http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?t=60243

 

[toneus79]

What I find totally moronic, is the idea of people thinking that those of us into F/M Tickling are gay. If that was the case then we would be into M/M Tickling instead (apologies for stating the bleeding obvious). A bit like saying it is the function of all men to Tickle, and all women to be Tickled.

Of course it isn't everyones cup of tea, which is why this forum sensible designates material as F/F, F/M whatever.

Incidentally I can remember the days when being into FM meant you had a better class of transistor radio !

 

[milagros317]

Having written and posted many F/m stories here, I can note that some received tens of thousands of views, and three have won Golden Feather Awards (nonfiction in 2002, 2003, and 2004).

So while there may be a few vocal people who give you grief about liking F/m, there are many here who at least enjoy the stories. I'm sure that there are also many who enjoy F/m in real life, as I do.

 

[Jerry67911]

There are some homophobes who think if you want to see a guy get tickled, then you have gay tendencies but overall, I think f/m is generally respected here. This has been discussed a lot and, as I mentioned in another thread, I look at the ler and picture myself as the lee. F/M is my favorite gender combo, next to fff/m maybe, but I also love f/f & m/f. Nothing sexier to me than a woman who really gets off on tickling me.

 

[Oddjob0226]

I don't know if it is a stigma, so much as a sub-cultural preference. Although, why that preference exsists, I don't know. I do realize that there seem to be more people into M/F or F/F tickling than F/M. But like many here, I too am a switch; that may come back to haunt me, becuseI have been put on notice by 3 different women that I will be going under the ropes for their entertainment for the upcoming Dallas gathering. We'll see if I can truly handle that.

But part of the reason is that the idea of a restrained squirming, giggling, pleading guy simply might not seem to be masculine, andtherefore not a real man - that might tug at many of us somehow at the 'moneky-roots' of our deeper ingrained brain functions of what is acceptable and what is not.

Very tired monkey roots in a salad? Nasty!

 

[Sunriseticklee]

Do you realize how depressed I would be if there weren't guys out there for me to tickle?

Good Gracious! The majority of the people I've tickled during the course of my life were men.

The fact of the matter is, gay or straight, I think ALL ticklish guys are endearing, wonderful, hey... they may even be a bit sexy!

And I will tell you this now... Not all guys or people or even the majority of the population thinks all male lees are gay. Only the loud-mouthed ones do. And you continue to see those same loud-mouthed closed minded people freaking out and thinking that their OWN masculinity or sexuality is threatened just because someone likes */m tickling. (Like its contagious or something? Dumbasses! Sigh!)

It is ok to have preferences. Everyone does. And everyone is entitled to their own opinions. But I've said it before and I will say it again, I am so tired of ignorant people who state their opinions as undeniable fact based on the sad limited experiences they have had or have "heard" about.

Just because in their own little box labeled "their life" every male lee they have run across is gay... doesn't mean they are. And SO WHAT IF THEY ARE?!! What makes you think the guy wants YOU?

SO someone doesn't like M/M or F/M or F/F... whooopteedooo! But there are some of us who do (I actually like them ALL!).

It's still sad that this is supposed to be a "flame free" all inclusive adult community and yet gays, minorities, and fat people (yeah I said it) feel less than welcomed here by the trash and stereotypes that some of you continue to spout. SO LOUDLY that people think that all of us here are like that!

Don't speak for me please! I don't discriminate!

So Leaftk and others, no... I don't feel like f/m is "gay". But even if it was... who cares!

A man, gay or straight, is not less of a man because he likes to be tickled. Nor is a woman any less feminine, or less of a woman, because she likes to dominate.

I fantasize about tickling some of the guys on this forum ALL the time!


Sunny

 

[drew70]

i dont think anyone ever said that f/m is gay, its just that the majority on here arent into it and dont want to see it...

This may have been true in the past, but I don't believe it's the case today. F/M has grown considerably in popularity. I see it in the discussions here. I see it in the chatroom. And best of all, I see and experience it at NEST. I think that of those who don't share an interest in F/M tickling, most are indifferent. I'm convinced that those who actually find F/M to be outright distasteful are well in the minority.

 

[leafstk]

Very good responses, thankyou everyone Yes Drew, I agree with you... f/m has seemed to come a long way recently, both on the forum and elsewhere I was just miffed by a response I read in another section, I guess I was over reacting a little bit, lol. Thanks for that link, Em Es! I just love the female lers out there, great to hear from ya Ali and Sunrise!

 

[ShadowTklr]

When a guy says that f/m tickling is gay, I think he really means that watching it makes HIM feel gay. When a guy says that m/m tickling is gay he’s really saying that…well, okay, maybe that really IS gay, but my point is that some guys are only accustomed to seeing men in dominant roles. The idea of seeing a man squirming around at the mercy of a woman, even though the interaction is clearly heterosexual in nature, makes him feel emasculated to view it; hence the feeling of gay-ness.

 

[isrdew]

quite frankly, surfing around the forum I don't see that much of a stigma on it... I love F/m myself, especially when I'm that m.

 

[grippedchimp]

I think leafstk brought it up because of this response...

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showpost.php?p=722438&postcount=30

 

[GoForTheLaugh]

Okay, I'm as hetero as they come, but like many here I enjoy tickle torture not only as a ler, but as a lee Too often have I seen f/m material here put down as being for "the ladies" or "the gay community" of the tmf. Don't get me wrong, to each his own, I'm not against those that choose to be "gay", but all too often I've seen allusions to f/m material here as such. Why is that?

I'll tell you why, as a hetero male ler/lee, why I enjoy f/m scenario's. Its awesome to picture myself in a scenario where I am at the mercy of a relentless female ler... is that so bad?? Maybe I'm over reacting here, but I think there's enough of us f/m lovers out there to clear the air. All I wanted to make clear was that f/m does NOT equal m/m.

I respect you tremendously for your post. As long as actions are mutually consensual and between adults, people should do what they wish. Not too long ago, a woman on top during sex (the sexual equivalent of F/M) was considered deviant. A woman was supposed to be on her back even if, like too many women, she could not achieve orgasm that way. Would anyone today call a man who penetrates a woman above him a pansy?

Don't take dtrell to heart. He has flamed me more than anyone else here, and I ignore him. There are indeed straight men who like F/M, and I am sure that they do not question their sexual orientation.

Men who have the gift of ticklishness should enjoy it fully. I say this since, sadly, I have not been ticklish since I hit puberty. I still remember being the only kid in 7th grade who could not be tickled, not the best scenario for a ticklephile. I am a ler instead of a switch by biology, not choice.

If you are a ticklish man who enjoys having a woman go to town on you, go for it. Count your blessings! I'm sure it will be good to the last laugh.

 

[toneus79]

I look at the ler and picture myself as the lee.

Ditto (especially if Mistress Stephanie Locke is involved).

 

[darvon96]

I think ShadowTklr hit it right on the head. The dominate-macho feeling runs very deep for a lot of men, and it takes some maturing & mellowing for many men to be comfortable with a woman in any kind of dominate role. But, for some it never happens.

When my wife and I were first dating, and I felt the time was right to divulge my “dirty little secret”, it seemed comforting to her if I allowed myself to be tied & tickled as well. This was the first time for me to be on the submissive end, and I jumped at the opportunity as long as she tickled me first, and I was able to “get revenge” afterwards. We both enjoyed the roll switching for a while, but as the relationship matured, it became increasingly evident that she was the “lee” and I was the “ler”, and it’s been that way for the last 16 years.

The most important part of a relationship is the ability for a couple to openly communicate their feelings and desires with each other, and to be comfortable with each others personal limitations. As far as the “stigma” goes, who gives a shit what some insecure douche-bag on the other end of a keyboard thinks, as long as you and your partner/friend are happy.

 

[Avenger314]

I've been here for a while. I've literally never, as in not once case, seen an instance of a male f/m lee being belittled for his preferences.

 

[hiram]

F/M Tickle Babes

I never noticed the stigma all that much. In fact, I have often thought tickle people are among the tolerant people in the universe.

One of my glorious fantasies is to see (or be) an immobilized lad at the mercy of a tickle babe. An evil ticklers smile on the face of a tickle babe is sexy beyond belief. When she has her man begging for mercy, she stops and asks his pleasure. He begs with sincerity, and she says she might take mercy, but only on another day, and she starts in again.

Some of the raucus times in the tickle industry in the last several years have included some ticklers of the female persuasion. I recall on AMT Girl 1955 was a ticklee of the first order who would tickle her men with the best of them.

There was Miss Glenna (YesPayDay) who stated categorically that she learned as a young lass that a first date was incomplete unless she discovered how ticklish was her escort.

Our own (Tickling Forum Dot Com) JoBelle Rebelle has what IMHO is still the sexiest most delightful post any woman ever put on any tickle forum and it is quintessential F/M. It seems to me she has posted it two or three times around New Years in sequential years, and it tweaks the heart and very soul of the tickle fetishist of the male persuasion, at least this one.

I often hesitate starting such a litany because I am sure to leave worthy tickle babes off of my list. Slighting female ticklers can be dangerous if you are a ticklish young man (even young in spirit).

I guess I haven't heard anyone refer to fans of F/M as gay, but may have missed those particular posts. Last time I checked, I was heterosexual and out of the closet as such. In real life I'm DEEP in a walk in closet as one of the tickle people. If tickling is life, tickle babes make that life worth living, and women who tickle provide a glimpse of what heaven has in store.

 

[ericr]

I am a very ticklish guy. I llike to be tickled. My wife is the one who tickles me most. I like f/m and imagine myself as the lee.

 

[kurchatovium]

Most of the stigma I had was from newsgroups who kept flaming anyone that liked F/M. I have never had any problems here and its one of the big reasons I love this place.

 

[leafstk]

As alluded to by Grippedchimp, my post was out of frustration at the comment made in the link he's provided. Nothing more than that, except that I've experienced/observed similar comments in the past. I appreciate all comments and it wasn't my intention to create/encourage any controversy.

Hiram is right, this is a very tolerant community for the most part, so my apologies if my post in any way offended anyone

Let's hear it for the lady lers!