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It kills any kind of relationship

D

dude3

TMF Regular
Joined
Nov 20, 2003
Messages
299
Points
0
I have come to the conclusion that my tickle, and foot fetish is killing any type of relationship with any woman out there in this world. It's bad enough that my profession consumes my life, so I wish I never had this fetish. What's the point. So what I'm trying to see if how find people like this and be happy with life. Because to me this fetish is a curse and what's the point of happiness.
 
I didn't start dating until I was 21. I just didn't care to date until then and when I started dating I realized I was kinky. I made a vow to myself that I'd never ever date vanilla people. I first started looking on here and then later I joined FetLife. I had many partners and was owned by two Doms before I met my now husband. He was on FetLife and I saw him at a local play party. When we had our first ever date I hung out with him at his house. He told me he was a terrible human being and a horrible monster(Don't remember the monster part.) When he lured me to his bedroom. I knew I never wanted to date a saint. He seduced me into his bedroom our first date. I thought it would just be play, but before I knew it he seduced me into sleeping with him. The reason I was drawn to him is because he had sounded himself at a party, I was attracted to him, and I wanted to get sounded. Now we're married and we had been together for close to four years prior to our marriage.
 
What Porcelain says is true, anything can happen. It hasn't happened to me, but I've had enough fun with play partners to totally give up on it.
But I agree, them dry phases can be frustrating.
 
dude3 said:
I have come to the conclusion that my tickle, and foot fetish is killing any type of relationship with any woman out there in this world. It's bad enough that my profession consumes my life, so I wish I never had this fetish. What's the point. So what I'm trying to see if how find people like this and be happy with life. Because to me this fetish is a curse and what's the point of happiness.
Click to expand...

How'd you come to that conclusion?
 
If it's the basis of the relationship, then I would agree it's probably doomed. I suggest you treat it as an enhancement to an otherwise fantastic "vanilla" relationship. I suspect many who feel as you do have a difficult time distinguishing between the two, or worse have no desire to do so.
 
The relationship MUST come first, period. Things have to develop between two people who care about each other. The fetish part can be brought in to almost any relationship, if done properly. It can't be the basis for being together, that typically doesn't last, give and take on both parts. I've been married for almost 30 years, and my wife, prior to me never had any, ZERO, attention to her feet. We have a great marriage, taking care of one another, and yes, I spend plety of time with her feet and tickling them. She indulges because she loves me, and knows what it does to me. I have little doubt this would be the case with most every woman out there, it's all in how you bring it up and how you make her feel, loved and needed first, the rest will follow.
 
okdremur said:
The relationship MUST come first, period. Things have to develop between two people who care about each other. The fetish part can be brought in to almost any relationship, if done properly. It can't be the basis for being together, that typically doesn't last, give and take on both parts. I've been married for almost 30 years, and my wife, prior to me never had any, ZERO, attention to her feet. We have a great marriage, taking care of one another, and yes, I spend plety of time with her feet and tickling them. She indulges because she loves me, and knows what it does to me. I have little doubt this would be the case with most every woman out there, it's all in how you bring it up and how you make her feel, loved and needed first, the rest will follow.
Click to expand...

Wish we had a "Like" button, my man.....
 
Don't give up brother. You'll find someone who absolutely loves you for who you are and your kinks in the bedroom won't turn them away. I've been very fortunate with my girlfriends. They have always either enjoyed it and liked experiencing somethings they had never partaken in before, or they let me have my fun and didn't care either way about it. The biggest problem I've had with the tickling part of my fetish is girls that aren't ticklish enough. But they've always enjoyed the foot fetish part. What girl doesn't love a foot rub?
 
When dating anyone, I am upfront about what I like, usually letting them know within the first few dates before having sex and most certainly before anything gets serious. If they are not into it or worse, judgmental, then I keep it moving and try with someone else. I realize rejection is part of life and everyone has to deal with it, so shouldn't let it kill your motivation or self confidence.

Life is too short to settle for anything less than what makes you happy or allows you to live a fulfilling, satisfying life. The relationship is important but so is sexual compatibility. If you don't have that, chances are you will be frustrated, unsatisfied, and it won't work out. Not the basis for a relationship, but not something I would wait to talk about.

Besides, foot fetish is the most common kink and tickling is not even that big of a deal. You could be projecting your own shame about it in your head, thinking the conversation will be worse than it is, or your anxiety about it may temper the chat to follow as being negative. Avoid the word fetish, bring it up early, and feign calm confidence and you should be fine. If someone is not into it, that's OK, but they should be able to express that honestly without being cruel. If they can't, is that someone you want to be with anyway?

It can be difficult, but anything worthwhile usually doesn't come easy.

Also, you live in Philly, home of the biggest annual tickle gathering ever. Just saying. And you're super young. Its not the end of the road, man lol. Lot of time to find someone.
 
I truly appreciate everyone's saying something; it makes me look at it another way. Thanks
 
okdremur said:
The relationship MUST come first, period. Things have to develop between two people who care about each other. The fetish part can be brought in to almost any relationship, if done properly. It can't be the basis for being together, that typically doesn't last, give and take on both parts. I've been married for almost 30 years, and my wife, prior to me never had any, ZERO, attention to her feet. We have a great marriage, taking care of one another, and yes, I spend plety of time with her feet and tickling them. She indulges because she loves me, and knows what it does to me. I have little doubt this would be the case with most every woman out there, it's all in how you bring it up and how you make her feel, loved and needed first, the rest will follow.
Click to expand...

Well said!
 
dude3 said:
I have come to the conclusion that my tickle, and foot fetish is killing any type of relationship with any woman out there in this world. It's bad enough that my profession consumes my life, so I wish I never had this fetish. What's the point. So what I'm trying to see if how find people like this and be happy with life. Because to me this fetish is a curse and what's the point of happiness.
Click to expand...

Expect the worst, hope for the best.

Just be happy that you live in US. People in a small country such as mine don't use FetLife and similar web pages. We don't have fetish parties, tickle gatherings...At least you have a fighting chance. Use it. Just normalize your criteria before you get into action. Not every girl is going to be as pretty as Chicago is all I'm sayin'. lol
 
Dude, I'm the same way. I wish I could get rid of my tickling fetish. its a curse. ill never find the right woman for a long term relationship. :sigh:
 
Haha well I appreciate the compliment. I used to be pretty heavy some years ago and fat, thin, pretty, ugly, I still have had to deal with guilt, shame, anxiety over having this kink and letting s/o's in on it.
 
I call it the line bro. Listen, this fetish is one of the least heaviest out there compared to other fetishes. Like wearing a rubber suit and rubbing mayo on your tits. It's tickling, it can be used from playing around, sex or real actual torture. It's something we have probably done when we were young to our cousins, brothers or sisters. It's a silly fetish, and when your a adult it's should only be used for horsing around with your kids or younger siblings and sexy time with your partner. You got to understand that. This fetish shouldn't ruin anything, as long as you understand that it's only a fetish. If you are walking into a relationship more worried about your fetish than him/her, you are in trouble. You should always focus on him/her first, build a strong relationship of love. and when the time is right, she/he wouldn't mind exercising your fetish.
 
chicago said:
Haha well I appreciate the compliment. I used to be pretty heavy some years ago and fat, thin, pretty, ugly, I still have had to deal with guilt, shame, anxiety over having this kink and letting s/o's in on it.
Click to expand...

Thank you for sharing that chicago. I kind of assumed everything was just easy for you, being a beautiful woman. Knowing that someone like you has to deal with the same fears and insecurities as the rest of us is somehow comforting.

Dude3, I go about it in a different way. As okdremur said, the relationship has to come first. But when I become involved with a lady, I just tend to act upon my desires, when appropriate and let her be the one to talk about it. For instance, if we're making out, I'll do a little playful, flirty tickling and see how she reacts. Most girls seem to enjoy it if they like you. And well, if she hates it or isn't into you, she's not someone to pursue. Same thing with the foot aspect. When we're fooling around, I'll give a little toe suck. Usually they like it or at least aren't negative about it, but if she says something like "I hate having my feet touched" or "feet are nasty", probably not a good match for a foot guy.
And most women are very perceptive. They're going to take note of the fact that you tickle more than any guy they've been with or that you're more into their feet. I find it's easier to let them bring it up. Just don't look away and be all sheepish about it when they do. You've got to own it.

At the end of the day, it's just an extra criteria for compatibility. Don't give up, just change your game plan a little. The right woman is out there. You just have to find her.
 
Do any of you people actually attempt relationships and have the fetish ruin it? Or just assume it'll mess everything up?
 
chicago said:
What is that supposed to mean?
Click to expand...

Nothing offensive of course. I'm just saying that we can't all expect to end up with beautiful women who will somehow magically grow to like our fetish. Chances of that are slim to none. I for one would be happy with a cute girl next door who will understand and accept me the way I am. Just like the last girl I was with. And she was the definition of "vanilla". But she was cute and she didn't mind my obsessions. It took me three years to tell her though. lol
 
Wise Words! I believe OKdremur has hit the nail on the head, listen to his advice!

I too would be hitting the like button his his comment. :)

okdremur said:
The relationship MUST come first, period. Things have to develop between two people who care about each other. The fetish part can be brought in to almost any relationship, if done properly. It can't be the basis for being together, that typically doesn't last, give and take on both parts. I've been married for almost 30 years, and my wife, prior to me never had any, ZERO, attention to her feet. We have a great marriage, taking care of one another, and yes, I spend plety of time with her feet and tickling them. She indulges because she loves me, and knows what it does to me. I have little doubt this would be the case with most every woman out there, it's all in how you bring it up and how you make her feel, loved and needed first, the rest will follow.
Click to expand...
 
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