Older Lers

[MrChippiesTMF]

As much as I hate to admit it but we ain't getting any younger or prettier (with the exception of maybe Chicago who seems to be doing the opposite). Most of the people I know IRL and on here are of a similar age where they are either in relationships, have kids, commitments, starting to grow out of this (if that's a correct way of putting it) and generally meet ups are becoming more difficult with both existing friends and potential new ones.
I feel a bit iffy about striking up conversations with a lot of the newer members. I'm a little old fashioned and think that an age gap is not necessarily an issue, but should be taken into account (e.g what possible stuff am I going to have in common with a 21 year old) and there is always the risk that depsite the best of intentions, coming across as "that creepy older dude" to someone 10 years younger than you.

Im curious as to other early/mid/late 30 somethings who havent had the amazing luck of ending up with a partner who is a lee feel about this? Does this aspect of your life still factor as a big deal or are you happy for it to exist as an online thing with the slim chance of occasional action some time. Those in relationships, would you still meet up with people for tickle fun given the chance?

for general information purposes I'm 31 and have been in a relationship for 6 years with someone who doesnt know about this aspect of me, i have no desire to involve in this kind of stuff and who I would not consider cheating on while at the same time do not see a tickle session with someone as being cheating so would not have a problem meeting up with others (I know others may not agree with this but for me, all sessions I have had so far have been clothed, no funny business and usually end up in a giggly mess with a pint at the local watering hole with a very very platonic mate at the end of it).

 

[piyr]

I don't see the problem. If you're worried about the age difference then just meet up with people closer to your age. If you don't consider going outside of your relationship cheating then you don't have a problem there either unless your partner does but you didn't mention that. The last sentence sounds more like a solicitation so you may have better luck posting in the personals section.

 

[C.A.B.]

GET OFF MY LAWN!!! *crawls back into fossil pit*

 

[jujimbo]

So 30 is already considered 'old' nowadays? At least 'older'. The fact people born in the '80s are the last generation to have actively remembered a time period before the internet might play a role in how our perception differs compared to those born in the '90s, but I wouldn't worry too much about this. Just try to keep up with the times. People in their thirties are more than able to do that with ease.

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

I'm in my 50s and I don't experience this trouble.

 

[Oddjob0226]

I'm near 50 and I hear about this issue from older people as well. What I would love to do is someday have an "over 40 gathering" with older 'ler or 'lees specifically. We wouldn't turn away young folks who requested to attend, but the invites would specifically go to the older crowd and that is whom the focus would be upon.

The problem I've found is that the DFW area isn't as kink-friendly as, say, Houston, and the DFW gatherings never really took off enough to become a regular event. For my own part it's had to do with money and time but then again, out of the couple million of people living in the metroplex, no one else has stepped in, to make events happen either. So while the real life component of DFW is pretty bleak for tickling the active engagement of folks 35 and up is even worse even though over the years I know folks as far as Baton Rouge had had an interest in attending such events if they were to ever occur.

 

[TicklishBlackGuy]

I don't know why people think 30 is old smh. Honestly holder lers can be fun, having more experience and all. I knew a few older ladies and it can be fun to tickle up to a point ya know?

 

[bestmed]

I'm in a similar situation. I'm 47 I recently lost my wife to cancer. She didn't share my interest and I never told her. She would have thought it weird. It's good to see I'm not the only one here who can't be trusted (Over 30).
I was reluctant to mention my age here specifically because I thought I'd be seen as "A creepy old dude"

People see us as so "Weird" that I don't know how I would go about finding anyone who shares the my interest.

 

[rdhd]

I too am as old as Methusla (or whoever...), and my wife also isn't into tickling. Yeh well. Just remember - we all started out as young bright fun whippersnappers.....then time kept on a-rolling. So, all the youngsters on the site today will one day wake up and find themselves to be......

 

[Libertine]

...for general information purposes I'm 31 and have been in a relationship for 6 years with someone who doesn't know about this aspect of me, i have no desire to involve in this kind of stuff...

Firstly you are a prize damned fool for not opening up to the one person in your life who should know all about it, and there is really no excuse except cowardice for not doing so.

Secondly if after a pleasantly eventful bachelorhood I could find a beautiful 22 year old ballet dancer/model (female, I assure you) when I was 49 years old, introduce her to this particular aspect of kink (she had already happily explored others) marry her a year or so later and be STILL married to her almost 9 years down the line what is your excuse with being nervous of age gaps? I'll say it again- 27 year age gap; I'm neither rich nor successful, and never once have I been mistaken for a Greek god.

Plenty of people have met us as a couple over the years at NEST, etc., and can vouch for the veracity of this post. For one example, Ms. Chicago herself and boyfriend, since you've mentioned her.

Chat with your girlfriend and if after negotiation and experimentation the most important part of your sexuality is still anathema to her, have the guts to break it off and find someone else. You'll both be a hell of a lot happier.

And don't try to search online. You live in Brighton, the kinky capital of the English South Coast! Google Brighton Fetish and see the results. Get out there, from kinky locations to the most prosaic- to munches, fetish clubs, live theatre, bookshops, bus stops, markets, cafes- in short anywhere an IRL conversation can be had and faces can be seen. In the past I've had entanglements with women I've met by striking up conversations at all of those places named and more. It can be done.

Just Be Brave and Just Be Honest.

 

[Tenebrae]

Whaaaaat? You are no way "older" at 31!

There are many different things in what you are saying. I think part of the fun here on the TMF is that we meet people that do not belong to our usual circles. Here you can find shakesperian actors chatting with handcrafters, military officers or high schoolers. Americans, Chinese, Portuguese, Norwegians, all nationalities and backgrounds gather here to exchange on all kinds of topics. That includes age differences; I think it is rather okay and even healthy to have discussions between people of different ages. One of my best friends in here is a man who is 20 years older than me, and we discovered that we have a lot more in common (other than tickling, obviously) than we would have suspected. I regularly have wonderful discussions with women who are much younger and much older than me respectively. Yes, there are differences, but those are the kind of differences that can precisely make the exchange interesting.

Dating/partner seeking, whatever you call it, is a different thing altogether. Socially, the age gap that you mentioned is effectively considered inappropriate in our western cultures; that said, you just need to look around your local town to find out that there are a LOT of such couples, so I guess same thing applies for 'lees and 'lers. Conversely, there are already quite some "older" female lees here, with some of them looking for younger men to play with, some others wanting to get someone their own age. It all boils down to what you are looking for, and the expectations of those you meet.

In the case of younger girls, it all depends on the kind of look they have on you. Some of them may see you as "a creepy old dude", but others dig older men. The latter find them more charming, and also usually more intimidating which is definitely a turn on in a dominant/dominated relationship (which tickling sort of is).

I am not in the same situation that you are, though. I am almost the same age as you (29), but my fiancée who is 5 years younger than me is also my exclusive 'lee, and it has been so for the past 5 years. We both consider tickling someone else (as in, meet with that person alone, tie her/him up and tickling him/her) as cheating, because it is something sexual between the two partners, whether or not actual sex is involved. It not the tickling itself that is problematic in that case, but rather the idea of meeting someone of the opposite sex, only to get sexual gratification outside of your significant other's presence. Of course people do not have to agree with us on this (or anything at all as a matter of fact), but I would not even consider marrying someone who would not share my passion for tickling, precisely because I could not possibly contemplate the idea of living a double life.

 

[trainman3004]

I'm 56 so if 31 is too old then I guess it's time to crawl back in my crypt

 

[andyr]

There's just no age limit to tickling. At least in my opinion. So keep on tickling you guys and girls, no matter what age!

 

[indivision]

I'm a thirty-three year-old guy. I'm also more of a 'lee, though I'll 'ler, too.

Age is somewhat of an issue for me, but not in the ways that some people might think. I think the thought of an f/m scenario where the female 'ler is younger than her male 'lee is just awesome for some reason. However, something about a female tickler getting a male ticklee who is younger than she is also piques my interest. One time, a vid producer (Silvercherry, I think) did an f/m video wherein the female ler tickled her "younger boyfriend." That seemed exciting to me as well.

 

[Mane'o]

oh you young 'uns! Always finding something to worry about. Age does not diminish a true passion be it tickling or sky diving. And this "finding someone" relationship stuff. There are millions other fetishes, preferences, quirks, tastes, needs, desires, what have you from vanilla to way kinkier than a tickle and many,many, many of those fine folks have the same problem "finding someone". Just substitute tickling with just about any other thing you can think of and it is the same story. Perfectly "normal" (whatever that is) people go through life lonely and unhappy and feeling they have no one to share their "true" self with.
As for me, I'm definitely an old one - 63 and I was into this stuff way before any internet was even a word, let alone some tangible thing. I've never had a problem meeting, marrying, indulging in tickling. I'm a m/f guy myself. I'm currently married to a woman tickled pink with my experienced fingers. She is also 28 years my junior.
Enough whining boys. Get on with it.

 

[ticklemepls]

Well for starters- I'm 30 and although we have an infant who at the moment is highly uncooperative (hooray colic)- this doesn't mean we've grown out of it (I'm honestly not sure of the phrase to use here either?). Though I do see your point- it does make meeting up highly challenging.

Next- I was very lucky to meet my husband here, but fully realize that's not the case for the majority. My personal opinion is the chat room really seems to be filled with the younger ones for the most part (and the newbies), which can make meeting others also challenging. I think if you're open and honest you won't come off as "the creepy old guy" you're afraid of. Most people worth anything know 31 isn't a big deal

Additionally, I'm confused slightly by your statement- you have a gf but don't want to involve her in the fetish but don't want to let her go either? I guess I'm wondering why it is you don't want to involve her- do you prefer to keep the fetish stuff platonic? Just curious is all....

All in all, hang in there and know 31 isn't that old and people are dumb if they think so

 

[prestidigits]

I turned 59 last Saturday. But don't worry about turning creepy. I've been creepy for 30 years.

 

[mellon_collie]

Gotta go with Libertine. I came out of a five year relationship where I hadn't had the courage to fully share this side of myself in a place where I was sure I didn't ever want to be involved with another person again. Accidentally found myself on the precipice of another promising relationship a few months later though and just bit the bullet and was honest from the start. Five months later and I'm in the most fulfilling two way relationship I've ever had and she has been accommodating, enthusiastic and interested at every turn. As it goes, I've even got a bit of Lee in me! Who knew??

 

[asutickler]

37 here, soon to be 38. I have found several gray hairs in my beard, and sometimes I feel like I should stretch or something before I work out. I think I got heartburn once, too. Old age is ROUGH.

 

[sttklr]

I just turned 30 and I don't feel like I'm "old."

My experience has been that there are more folks around my age than not. Or if that's not the case, I guess I just haven't been talking to them.

You should talk to your SO about your desires, whether sexual in nature or not. If she's not in to it and not willing, then at least you'll know.

 

[Asilalizag]

Because I take nothing seriously in internet-land, I present a character profile for a quite older 'Ler with a taste for young nubiles to enjoy:

Professor Szilvesztir Phastidius

Character Type: Villain
Age: 66
Sex: Male
Height: 6-2
Hair: Bald
Eyes: Blue
Complexion: Pale
Endowment: Average
Dexterity: Exceptional
Compare to: Hannibal Lecter, various Victorian villains, extremely snooty literature professors who secretly lust for the young nymphs in their undergrad classes and vent their sexual frustration through nefarious assignments and grading
Occupation: College Professor
Voice: American Snob with aristocratic stutter. Often trills his r's to sound more insane to his victims.
Personality: Calm, placid, dignified, somewhat pompous and pretentious
Strengths: Intelligence, manipulation, precision tickle-torture-teasing
Weaknesses: Overconfidence
Sucker for: Opportunities to be sadistic
Tickler-style: Precision tormentor
Taste for: College girls, demonstrating his talents before an audience
Vehicle: Black 1979 Saab 99 restored

All-the-time outfit: Brown tweed jacket with elbow patches, scarlet silk ascot, cream-colored button-down shirt, brown slacks, brown leather shoes, horn-rim spectacles, pencil thin handle bar mustache.

6 Questions with Prof. Phastidius:

1. Beer, wine, or whiskey? Wine
2. Theme song? An der schönen blauen Donau (The Blue Danube)
3. Seedy motel or victorian mansion? Victorian mansion
4. Cheerleaders or pole-dancers? Cheerleaders
5. Soft 'n' slow, or hard 'n' fast? Soft, slow, and exquisite
6. Devil's in the details, or just play her by ear? Details, details, details

 

[chicago]

lol thanks for the compliment Mr Chippies. I'll be 30 in less than 2 years, so I guess then I'll be part of the ancient crowd, though there was a time I was referred to as embryo and zygote.

I think the best way to get to talking to folks on here, regardless of age, is to interact in GenDis. Just seems to be less assholes (unless you find yourself lost in the dark corners of P&R) and more people open to friendly discussion and debate. If you find someone you'd like to chat with, you can always use something they posted about as an ice breaker, and I've found most chicks tend to prefer a little 'getting to know one another' time before the long list of played out tickle questions gets brought up haha.

 

[Soda Bobinski]

Holy crap. At 39 , am I considered to be an "older" 'ler now?

Pfft. I got this here tube of Bengay that says otherwise.