*Sigh*... The lives we live.

[Morpheus72]

It helps to be able to compromise somewhat as well. I like to switch, but my girlfriend does not like to be tickled. She'll tickle me, so I'm cool with it, even though I can't 'ler with her. Our relationship is good and has many, many positive aspects to it. So I deal.

Perfection is very, very difficult to find. I'm not saying settling is the goal, but being flexible does help. I do think for those of us who are strictly 'ler or 'lee, the road is a much tougher one.

 

[JZS42]

Tell me if this sounds familiar. If you're a girl, replace "girl" with "guy":


1. You Find a girl who's cute and into you (normal step 1 even for vanilla).

2. Go on a few dates.

3. Feel comfortable enough to ask if she's ticklish

----a. She's actually NOT ticklish.. ABORT MISSION!

----b. She's ticklish but hates being tickled. (To some, this is ok. Not to me )

----c. She's ticklish and doesn't mind it. (Not bad. I can handle it)

----d. She's ticklish AND loves being tickled. DING DING, we have a winner! (unfortunately this has never happened to me)

D kind of happened to me once. I went out with a lady, a bit older than me, quite smart and sexy and when I mentioned that I liked to tickle ladies feet, she said that she would be happy to let me tickle hers. Some time later, I did and she had a great time with it. I remember saying "I can't believe you're letting me do this for so long". Her response was "Of course. This is fun!".
Sadly, the relationship only lasted a couple of months, but it was fun while it lasted.

J

 

[Em Es]

What she must be into is YOU

The funny thing is, what matters more is if the girl is into you, not where she stands on being ticklish and getting tickled. Back in school I noticed a number of girls who at least liked to tickle. Girls who like being tickled are not as easy to spot, of course. But whether she's a tickler or ticklee is besides the point, which is if a girl does not like you it does not matter even if she shares your interest in tickling. The most fun I've had tickling was at the expense of girls who did not necessarily like being tickled but, rather, really liked me and put up with it to please me.

I have actually tied and tickled two women I met through this great web site, so there are exceptions to the rule. But the first one blew me off after one session because without asking I had untied her bikini top when she was face down. The other grew tired of me; she was never that considerate of me throughout the six or seven times we met, so it did not surprise me when she stopped returning my messages.

So while it's not impossible for you to find a girl who shares your enthusiasm for tickling, you have a better chance with one who simply wants to make you happy. When a woman wants to satisfy a man, her limits will match his fantasy. Just don't chase the hot numbers, the girls who think they're all that. Zero in on the girls who are noticing you; they won't be as attractive but the good time they'll show you will make up for what they lack in looks.

 

[Simply_Tom]

The funny thing is, what matters more is if the girl is into you, not where she stands on being ticklish and getting tickled. Back in school I noticed a number of girls who at least liked to tickle. Girls who like being tickled are not as easy to spot, of course. But whether she's a tickler or ticklee is besides the point, which is if a girl does not like you it does not matter even if she shares your interest in tickling. The most fun I've had tickling was at the expense of girls who did not necessarily like being tickled but, rather, really liked me and put up with it to please me.

I have actually tied and tickled two women I met through this great web site, so there are exceptions to the rule. But the first one blew me off after one session because without asking I had untied her bikini top when she was face down. The other grew tired of me; she was never that considerate of me throughout the six or seven times we met, so it did not surprise me when she stopped returning my messages.

So while it's not impossible for you to find a girl who shares your enthusiasm for tickling, you have a better chance with one who simply wants to make you happy. When a woman wants to satisfy a man, her limits will match his fantasy. Just don't chase the hot numbers, the girls who think they're all that. Zero in on the girls who are noticing you; they won't be as attractive but the good time they'll show you will make up for what they lack in looks.

Hey Em Es, I appreciate the insight. I really do. I've had girlfriends that didn't enjoy getting tickled, but they liked me so much they didn't mind it. Apparently all good things have to come to an end though. Like I said, this wasn't meant to be my sob story. I just found it tragically ironic that a girl I was talking to turned out to not be ticklish.

Oh and I totally agree with the snobby thing. I'm really not shallow. I like a girl because of her attitude, how she treats me, her smile, her interests. That's not an issue.

 

[GQguy]

The funny thing is, what matters more is if the girl is into you, not where she stands on being ticklish and getting tickled. Back in school I noticed a number of girls who at least liked to tickle. Girls who like being tickled are not as easy to spot, of course. But whether she's a tickler or ticklee is besides the point, which is if a girl does not like you it does not matter even if she shares your interest in tickling. The most fun I've had tickling was at the expense of girls who did not necessarily like being tickled but, rather, really liked me and put up with it to please me.

I have actually tied and tickled two women I met through this great web site, so there are exceptions to the rule. But the first one blew me off after one session because without asking I had untied her bikini top when she was face down. The other grew tired of me; she was never that considerate of me throughout the six or seven times we met, so it did not surprise me when she stopped returning my messages.

So while it's not impossible for you to find a girl who shares your enthusiasm for tickling, you have a better chance with one who simply wants to make you happy. When a woman wants to satisfy a man, her limits will match his fantasy. Just don't chase the hot numbers, the girls who think they're all that. Zero in on the girls who are noticing you; they won't be as attractive but the good time they'll show you will make up for what they lack in looks.

The VERY best advice here. And this is the secret to "converting" a vanilla into a willing and loving lee. Sort of reminds me of a girl that I actually dated that was raised christian but pretty much converted to Islam to be with her guy. Tickling seems pretty tame in comparison doesn't it? A girl that's into a guy will do anything to keep him. A guy simply has to be worth it. Or at least be percieved as such.

GQ

 

[Em Es]

Women do the choosing

GQguy and Simply_Tom, thanks for the nice words.

Women do the choosing. Were I single again, I'd chase none and see who hangs around, for a start.

 

[Eddie-Hunter]

Have read (nosied through... ) this discussion with great interest Nice to see all of the different angles people are coming from with this, MOST of which have been constructive and none-offensive.

Simply_Tom, I feel you're pain, I think that we more or less fall into the same camp when it comes down to this scenario... Its a very familiar one indeed, and its been a deal-breaker with myself on more than one occasion... Touche I guess, perhaps thats why I am currently very, very single Saying it now, I know how much of a pig it makes me sound! BUT the truth of the matter is, why be with someone with whom one or both of you is not getting a wholly fulfilling relationship? It strikes me that the negative comments here seem to assume that tickling is all that you are interested in, which I'm sure isn't the case. Give the guy a break and let him find his Miss Perfect!

If you can find a girl out there who ticks all the right boxes then the best of luck to you my friend It isn't fair on either of you if you are only partially happy with the way things are going. You wouldn't expect her to have settle for second best with you, so why should you have to? My apologies if I am being in any way controversial here by the way, lol!

Love and Respect

 

[Knox The Hatter]

I hate how this happens, but if one of the unfavorable options occurs, I always seem to look at the girl differently and can't be happy being with her. It's a very big part of dating for me.

Okay, Tom...

Getting 3A out of the way, because, in the end, it's a non-starter, let's discuss 3B. It's NOT the end of the world. At the start of the relationship between The Mizzus and I, she hated and feared being tickled. I'd be into it, and if it went longer than five seconds, there was terror in her eyes, and she started screaming at me to stop.

Now, we play.

You actually have the power to change her outlook. Rome wasn't built in a day, though, if you're patient, and you're gently persistant, you can actually get the girl to actually play with it. It also depends, of course, on how she feels about YOU in the end, how committed she is to both you AND the relationship, but it IS possible.

Don't give up.

 

[mabus]

Okay, Tom...

Getting 3A out of the way, because, in the end, it's a non-starter, let's discuss 3B. It's NOT the end of the world. At the start of the relationship between The Mizzus and I, she hated and feared being tickled. I'd be into it, and if it went longer than five seconds, there was terror in her eyes, and she started screaming at me to stop.

Now, we play.

You actually have the power to change her outlook. Rome wasn't built in a day, though, if you're patient, and you're gently persistant, you can actually get the girl to actually play with it. It also depends, of course, on how she feels about YOU in the end, how committed she is to both you AND the relationship, but it IS possible.

Don't give up.

Yeah, all the good advice, plus this!

It's sadly about percentages. Everyone has their likes and dislikes, and needs and wants, and factors they expect, which knocks down the percentages of success.
I know a guy with a redhead fetish. That knocked out every blond and brunette for him.
You look at the female population (or male, for women) and you start at 100%, and start decreasing the numbers. Most people only have about 10% to 20% to work from, and some have even less. The more demanding you are, they lower your numbers.

Some people, like my soon to be ex-wife, and her whole family, are so spoiled and demanding, they are happy with NO ONE. They have great husbands - and treat them like shit.

Don't get to that level.

I understand where you're coming from, but don't be so hard on the ones who aren't ticklish. Their still people, and looking at them negatively isn't cool for you or them. Some people just aren't ticklish. They were born that way, it's not their fault.
Some people hate to be tickled, but have to be converted to like it, which is a long process, but certainly is possible, as those here have attested.

Good luck. At least you're still in the field. When my divorce is over with....I"ve given up. The only thing I've ever wanted to be was married. I didn't even get to the level of finding that girl who is ticklish, or further, respected me, my dreams, friends, on and on. Now, the only thing I want to be is not married.

I'm at the point of seeing so much more in a healthy relationship that so many have mentioned, that you need to look at, past the fetish phase. Does she respect you, not lie to you or demean you, does she respect your friends, or just rudely walk away when you meet one in the store like mine did, does she respect your family, your politics, your faith, your dreams, etc?

Good luck, I hope you return one day with a post about finally meeting the right one.

 

[Simply_Tom]

Hey everyone. Sorry for the delay in replies..

Wow mabus, first of all, let me say that I'm very sorry for your marriage situation, and best of luck with the divorce and moving on with your life.

Yeah, it is indeed all about percentages. I don't look down on girls that aren't ticklish. I just unfortunately cannot find them as attractive as a girl that is. If we have a true connection and they are ticklish then I always give it a try.

Thanks for all the kind words.

 

[ManOMann100]

I'm smart enough to realize that this is a male heavy fetish for one, aka way fewer women to choose from who share our fetish who would like being tickled. Plus, I'm smart enough to realize that even if she's ticklish, she probably hates it. If she loves it, she won't indulge me with it the way I want her to. I have great sex w/o tickling and I've accepted the fact that that's all I'll ever get!

 

[ndj101982]

I don't think that whether or not a girl is ticklish has any bearing on my interest in her. If a girl isn't ticklish there is still the TMF and tickle clip sites. I mean, if you weren't with the girl you'd be whacking off to tickling clips and be alone otherwise. At least if you have a girlfriend who isn't ticklish you can still have a very normal relationship with her and still continue your interest in the fetish online like you were before you met her.

I believe that when a person judge's whether or not they will date a girl based on if she meets their criteria for satisfying his fetish, he is viewing the girl as an object of personal satisfaction. A relationship should mainly be based on your attraction to the girl because of emotional connection and ability to exclusively enjoy each other's company. If that isn't enough to spark your attraction to her without the need for the fetish then I'm afraid the fetish has overtaken your life.

 

[TickVix]

I agree with you. It's important to date/be with someone who shares your interests to the fullest for if they don't then it makes no sense in pursuing something more serious.