My girlfriend worked as a high-priced escort for a time. It was near the end of our relationship, she was drinking 24/7 and had lost her job. Behind my back, she started working as a sex worker.
Eventually I found out but I hung in there because she was simply not in her right mind, she was drunk most of the time and was getting herself into crazy situations constantly. She had first tried stripping, but she ended up walking off the stage and into the audience where she started making out with one of the customers.
Believe it or not, her being an escort was just about the least of her problems. At least when she went out to work, she had a driver who was looking out for her. And although throughout the entire time, I was trying to get her to stop hooking, and to stop drinking, eventually the situation "normalized".
My heart would sink and my stomach drop as I watched her get ready, often I'd be telling her she didn't have to go, call them up and say you're not working tonight, etc etc. Sometimes she'd listen, but when she'd call the girl at the agency, she'd get talked into it.
The fact that she'd pull in thousands of dollars a night helped assuage some of my concerns - that she had a job that paid well, even if she showed up drunk, made me relax that she wasn't going to be thrown out on the street, she was going to make rent. (by this point, I had moved out). On top of that, it seemed - at least at first - that she actually drank a little less when she was working. She still drank, but I guess the "work time" helped space out the drinks. This is the way it seemed at the time, anyway.
Also, I had talked to her about her feelings about the job. She said she loved it, and started to cry. "These men are so lonely." She was drunk, but this was the real her. She had/has incredible empathy for people, always sees the good in them. Always. To a fault. She said she could see how happy she made them, how they all lit up when she walked in, how they fell in love with her and asked for her over and over again. She'd kiss them, she'd make them feel good. Ok, well......I wasn't exactly thrilled my gorgeous brilliant, talented girlfriend (or my ex-girlfriend, where ever we were at at the time, it was a bit of a grey line) was an escort but....... if she wanted to be the hooker with a heart of gold, who was I to stand in her way? She was making money, this was what she wanted.......ok, fine. I'll work on getting her to cut back on her drinking. That's what's important. Not my bruised ego.
****************************
So......obviously......through this whole thing, there's a part of me that wants to know: do her clients ever try to tickle her? I know, I'm a creep, but......how could it not cross my mind? The truth is the scant minutes I could focus on that, I could not be pacing the floor, giving myself an ulcer, beating myself up, worrying about her, etc etc.
And so during a conversation, maybe the one I just told you about, after I decided to stop nagging her about escorting - I remember saying "Ok, fine. But listen, you can make this easier on me because I'm going out of my mind"
"What, anything, sweetie."
I took a deep breath.
"If you ever get tickled...could you tell me? I have to know. I'm dying to know."
She smiled a little deviously, and also very affectionately. She liked this idea.
"Ok, ok!" She leaned over and kissed me on the mouth, then started petting my hair. "I'll do it. I'll do it."
"You will?"
Beaming with affection, and happy I was cool with her new life choice, she slowly and sexily nodded, as if she now had a big secret to guard.
Well, I didn't hear anything. I'd ask her, sometimes call her the next day. In general, if I knew she'd be working, I wouldn't be able to sleep, I'd pace the floor all night (and in fact, it affected my sleeping habits to this very day). This was before and after the conversation we had. But after we had the conversation, I'd be pacing and thinking, maybe she's out there right now, getting tickled. Maybe tonight is the night. But I didn't hear anything right away. Or even for a long while and I pretty much forgot about the whole thing.
Then one morning she calls me.
I could tell by her voice she was drunk, but at least she could talk coherently. She was all excited, "I have to tell you about what happened last night!"
It wasn't a tickle story. She started telling me a long story about how she had gone to place and the guy wanted to watch videos of The Beatles and The Who with her. (we're both huge fans, lol). This wasn't unusual, she'd often prattle away about someone from the night before.
All of a sudden, in the middle of her story, she stopped, gasped and then said, "Oh my god, I just remembered......."
"What?"
"I got tickled last night!"
i got dizzy, my stomach dropped, my heart stopped.
"What? You did?"
"Yeah, I just remembered!"
"ok, tell me! what happened?!"
"Wait! You don't want to hear the rest of my story? About The Beatles?"
"No!"
Slightly annoyed, she told me what happened. A couple of days later, she came over to my apartment (sober!) and I asked her to tell me what she could remember again, this time physically re-enacting parts of it and answering all questions. She was in a very proud and happy mood that day, telling me the story, she was excited she had something to report and really tried to wrack her brain for even the most minute details.
So here's what happened:
He was an older man with money, as virtually all of her clients were, she placed him in his 50s. She was wearing a black Victoria's Secret backless dress. Unbelievably hot. After this story, she showed me the dress, modeled it and to this day, I wish I had it. It was the only article of clothing that ever turned me on just by looking at it. That was the dress she got tickled in, that's all I could ever think of.
So she's wearing this heartbreaking, sizzling, slinky black backless dress.......and black Candies, with nothing but long legs that went on forever connecting the two. Add to the fact that she's so pretty, he must have had a heart attack when she arrived.
The first thing she did - which she said she did with all of her clients - was give him a hug hello, as soon as she walked in. Nice touch, that usually caught the men off guard. They took care of money, he led her to a sofa, she kicked off her heels ad sat down with him.
He's making small talk while he's caressing her arm and her hair and her thighs; they're having a chit chat.
Now I'm not sure if maybe as he was caressing her he might have hit a spot and caused a slight squirm or unconscious shift. Or if maybe just the way she looked made him say this; she had this adorabe baby doll face with big, giant, innocent brown eyes......whatever it was that brought it to mind, he out of the blue said:
"You look ticklish."
I asked her what was going through her mind when he said this. The first time she answered "I thought....uh-oh, I'm going to get tickled." The second time she answered "I was hoping he would!"
"Actually, I'm very ticklish.", she replied, matter-of-factly.
Grinning deviantly, he reached down to grab her ankle....but she kicked her long legs away. "At first he tried to tickle my feet", she told me, "but I kept kicking him away."
Undetterred, he suddenly changed tactics and grabbed her savagely by her waist, making her shriek and try to fend him off. It was on now, and he had her good, tickling her until finally she was laying across his lap, flat on her back, looking up at him grinning down at her. She laughed and she laughed, and she writhed around but she couldn't go anywhere, he had his hand buried in her stomach, while his other hand & arm rested on her chest. She was hysterical.
It must have been a really good attack because when he let up, she said she went limp and just lay there on his lap, panting and out of breath, tickled weak while he just grinned down at her, affectionately. She relaxed, he was done tickling her, and she was just taking a moment to get her composure back. Or that's what she thought.
He kind of leaned over her to kiss her, but she whipped her head away, with a smile, like a tease. He sat back up, a little wounded, but still smiling. She started to fix her hair.......both hands.......she wasn't thinking anything of it. But he was. He saw the opening, her arms were raised. He suddenly plunged both hands into her armpits and started tickling. Her arms flew back down, but it was too late, he was wedged in there and his fingers were working away, sending electric tickles shooting through her, he had her good, and all she could do was be hysterical and giggle and beg and take it.
When he was done playing with her and he sat back like the cat who ate the canary, his arms spread out on the back of the couch, she got up and kissed him right on the lips. Then they made love.
I asked her what she thought of the whole incident. She said "It was fun!"
**********************************************************
Not too long after, she reported a second tickling. This is what I wrote back then:
Just last night (all day long I'm still buzzing from hearing about it!). Once again, an older man, she comes in and he tells her to get nude and lay on the bed. She's laying on the bed, nude, all stretched out when he walked over past the foot of the bed, reached down and grabbed one of her ankles and held it up. At first, she didn't think anything of it, just "oh, this man is holding my foot", but then all of a sudden he lifted his hand and started gently tickling her sole with one finger. Immediately she flinched back with a giggle but he had her by the ankle. He started dancing all his fingers up and down her sole causing her to hitch forward and try to grab her own trapped foot but the tickling was so much that she immediately fell back on the bed, rolling around and twisting with laughter. I can attest that was often her move.
He started to taunt her saying, "Oh, you like that, don't you. DON'T YOU?", to which she started screaming "YES! YES!" through the laughter! She said he kept on doing it, way past the point she would have thought he would stop, she said he seemed to be fascinated with all the reactions he was getting. Finally, he stopped, held up her foot, pursed his lips and kissed it right on the sole.... but she said he had a big, bushy white mustache and that, combined with the feel of his lips, tickled her, too! She started screaming "NO,NOT THAT!" and he smiled (she said she could feel his smile broaden on her sole) and bit her right on the instep to which she started squealing and begging him to stop. He nibbled on her a bit and then, pleased with himself, he climbed onto the bed and they moved onto other things.
********************************************************
She had two other incidents that she reported to me during her time of working as an escort. One was a guy who was younger, ("our age" she said, "our age" was late 20s). During sex, he was on top of her and had lifted her arms over her head and had them pinned there as he fucked her. He's kissing her, kissing her neck, kissing her breasts, when suddenly he plunges his face into her armpit and starts passionately making out with it. She never could take that. Immediately she started shrieking with laughter, but there was nothing she could do, he had her completely overpowered. She said he was driving her crazy and completely ignoring her distress, he just kept kissing her there because that's what he wanted to do, passionately teasing her underarm with his mouth and making her go out of her mind, until he didn't want to do it anymore and he went back to fucking her. She said he just did it the one time. I guess just to show her who's boss.
********************************************************
The last incident she reported was just a quick one, she said she went on this call to the most disgusting apartment she had ever walked in. It was a big fat Domnican drug dealer, and even though he acted completely disinterested, he would request her from the agency all the time.
One day, he got the notion to tickle her a bit. For some reason, i wrote it down as a poem:
Knee length slip dress and her candies
She’s on the couch,
Hip hop playing
He’s a thug, a big fat drug dealing thug
In a disgusting dump of an apartment
Always scowling.
He fixes her a look
reaches over with both hands and starts tickling her around the sides
She wiggles and giggles and says “It tickles”.
And then he stopped.
He never once smiled.
He wanted to play with her.
**************************************************
I did get bold with her once and I asked her "Do you think you could make yourself get tickled tonight? Do you think you could get a guy to tickle you?"
Once again, she smiled devilishly, and you could see the wheels turning ad her racking her brain for who she could tempt.
"Yeah, yeah, I think I can!", she said, giggling. "I'll try to get my driver to tickle me, he likes me I think."
"Really?! What are you going to do?"
"Maybe what I'll do is I'll put my foot up in the front seatnext to him." (remember, she's in the back seat). "I'll put my foot up next to him and ask him to tickle me."
"Really?!!"
"Mmm-hmm!"
"You think he'll do it?"
"I think so! He likes me!"
Well, I can tell you, just knowing this might happen got me through at least a few nights without crying my eyes out or throwing my guts up, lol. That was pretty normal for me back then, lol.
But she never remembered once she was on the job, and so even though I asked, she'd always say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot! Tonight! I'll do it tonight!". She wasn't giving me a line, she was game, believe me, this was the least of what she was doing around that time. She felt bad what she was putting me through (still does!), she wanted to make me happy. Except to stop drinking! (actually even that! I gave her an ultimatum eventually: don't call me until you're 6 monnths sober. 6 months and 1 day later, she called me. She had gone to AA the next day and had/has been sober ever since.
********************************
After that time - or I should say during that time - she ended up hooking up with some of her older clients, and bounced between a few of them as "sugar daddy boyfriends". I consider the tickling experiences she had with those men separate from these escort experiences. Those anecdotes are found elsewhere on this blog, at least some of them.
As for me, this era kind of left me in a seedy place. i could not relate to "normal" girls/women for a long time. I couldn't remember how I ever had flirted or how I had ever gotten a girlfriend, I totally had lost my bearings. And I couldn't stop loving her, caring about her, wanting her, craving her, I was totally lost. When I got a chunk of money from a court judgment against my landlord, I decided to dabble in her world and for a short period of time, I found a place called "The Leg Shop" which had really pretty, beautiful girls there that you could play with. I started going there a lot and had myself some amazing, cathartic and healing experiences that got me over the hump. I ended up converting one of them (she's on the TMF to this day!) and taking home another. But that will be for another blogpost.
And as for her, as I said, she ended up getting sober and, other than falling off the wagon briefly once, has remained sober ever since. She ended up getting her old job back and I can say, as much as anyone can in the 21st century, lived happily ever after.
I've never gotten over her really, or more specifically, over the trauma of what her problems put us through...... wish I could say I did.
It was very cathartic writing this all out.
Eventually I found out but I hung in there because she was simply not in her right mind, she was drunk most of the time and was getting herself into crazy situations constantly. She had first tried stripping, but she ended up walking off the stage and into the audience where she started making out with one of the customers.
Believe it or not, her being an escort was just about the least of her problems. At least when she went out to work, she had a driver who was looking out for her. And although throughout the entire time, I was trying to get her to stop hooking, and to stop drinking, eventually the situation "normalized".
My heart would sink and my stomach drop as I watched her get ready, often I'd be telling her she didn't have to go, call them up and say you're not working tonight, etc etc. Sometimes she'd listen, but when she'd call the girl at the agency, she'd get talked into it.
The fact that she'd pull in thousands of dollars a night helped assuage some of my concerns - that she had a job that paid well, even if she showed up drunk, made me relax that she wasn't going to be thrown out on the street, she was going to make rent. (by this point, I had moved out). On top of that, it seemed - at least at first - that she actually drank a little less when she was working. She still drank, but I guess the "work time" helped space out the drinks. This is the way it seemed at the time, anyway.
Also, I had talked to her about her feelings about the job. She said she loved it, and started to cry. "These men are so lonely." She was drunk, but this was the real her. She had/has incredible empathy for people, always sees the good in them. Always. To a fault. She said she could see how happy she made them, how they all lit up when she walked in, how they fell in love with her and asked for her over and over again. She'd kiss them, she'd make them feel good. Ok, well......I wasn't exactly thrilled my gorgeous brilliant, talented girlfriend (or my ex-girlfriend, where ever we were at at the time, it was a bit of a grey line) was an escort but....... if she wanted to be the hooker with a heart of gold, who was I to stand in her way? She was making money, this was what she wanted.......ok, fine. I'll work on getting her to cut back on her drinking. That's what's important. Not my bruised ego.
****************************
So......obviously......through this whole thing, there's a part of me that wants to know: do her clients ever try to tickle her? I know, I'm a creep, but......how could it not cross my mind? The truth is the scant minutes I could focus on that, I could not be pacing the floor, giving myself an ulcer, beating myself up, worrying about her, etc etc.
And so during a conversation, maybe the one I just told you about, after I decided to stop nagging her about escorting - I remember saying "Ok, fine. But listen, you can make this easier on me because I'm going out of my mind"
"What, anything, sweetie."
I took a deep breath.
"If you ever get tickled...could you tell me? I have to know. I'm dying to know."
She smiled a little deviously, and also very affectionately. She liked this idea.
"Ok, ok!" She leaned over and kissed me on the mouth, then started petting my hair. "I'll do it. I'll do it."
"You will?"
Beaming with affection, and happy I was cool with her new life choice, she slowly and sexily nodded, as if she now had a big secret to guard.
Well, I didn't hear anything. I'd ask her, sometimes call her the next day. In general, if I knew she'd be working, I wouldn't be able to sleep, I'd pace the floor all night (and in fact, it affected my sleeping habits to this very day). This was before and after the conversation we had. But after we had the conversation, I'd be pacing and thinking, maybe she's out there right now, getting tickled. Maybe tonight is the night. But I didn't hear anything right away. Or even for a long while and I pretty much forgot about the whole thing.
Then one morning she calls me.
I could tell by her voice she was drunk, but at least she could talk coherently. She was all excited, "I have to tell you about what happened last night!"
It wasn't a tickle story. She started telling me a long story about how she had gone to place and the guy wanted to watch videos of The Beatles and The Who with her. (we're both huge fans, lol). This wasn't unusual, she'd often prattle away about someone from the night before.
All of a sudden, in the middle of her story, she stopped, gasped and then said, "Oh my god, I just remembered......."
"What?"
"I got tickled last night!"
i got dizzy, my stomach dropped, my heart stopped.
"What? You did?"
"Yeah, I just remembered!"
"ok, tell me! what happened?!"
"Wait! You don't want to hear the rest of my story? About The Beatles?"
"No!"
Slightly annoyed, she told me what happened. A couple of days later, she came over to my apartment (sober!) and I asked her to tell me what she could remember again, this time physically re-enacting parts of it and answering all questions. She was in a very proud and happy mood that day, telling me the story, she was excited she had something to report and really tried to wrack her brain for even the most minute details.
So here's what happened:
He was an older man with money, as virtually all of her clients were, she placed him in his 50s. She was wearing a black Victoria's Secret backless dress. Unbelievably hot. After this story, she showed me the dress, modeled it and to this day, I wish I had it. It was the only article of clothing that ever turned me on just by looking at it. That was the dress she got tickled in, that's all I could ever think of.
So she's wearing this heartbreaking, sizzling, slinky black backless dress.......and black Candies, with nothing but long legs that went on forever connecting the two. Add to the fact that she's so pretty, he must have had a heart attack when she arrived.
The first thing she did - which she said she did with all of her clients - was give him a hug hello, as soon as she walked in. Nice touch, that usually caught the men off guard. They took care of money, he led her to a sofa, she kicked off her heels ad sat down with him.
He's making small talk while he's caressing her arm and her hair and her thighs; they're having a chit chat.
Now I'm not sure if maybe as he was caressing her he might have hit a spot and caused a slight squirm or unconscious shift. Or if maybe just the way she looked made him say this; she had this adorabe baby doll face with big, giant, innocent brown eyes......whatever it was that brought it to mind, he out of the blue said:
"You look ticklish."
I asked her what was going through her mind when he said this. The first time she answered "I thought....uh-oh, I'm going to get tickled." The second time she answered "I was hoping he would!"
"Actually, I'm very ticklish.", she replied, matter-of-factly.
Grinning deviantly, he reached down to grab her ankle....but she kicked her long legs away. "At first he tried to tickle my feet", she told me, "but I kept kicking him away."
Undetterred, he suddenly changed tactics and grabbed her savagely by her waist, making her shriek and try to fend him off. It was on now, and he had her good, tickling her until finally she was laying across his lap, flat on her back, looking up at him grinning down at her. She laughed and she laughed, and she writhed around but she couldn't go anywhere, he had his hand buried in her stomach, while his other hand & arm rested on her chest. She was hysterical.
It must have been a really good attack because when he let up, she said she went limp and just lay there on his lap, panting and out of breath, tickled weak while he just grinned down at her, affectionately. She relaxed, he was done tickling her, and she was just taking a moment to get her composure back. Or that's what she thought.
He kind of leaned over her to kiss her, but she whipped her head away, with a smile, like a tease. He sat back up, a little wounded, but still smiling. She started to fix her hair.......both hands.......she wasn't thinking anything of it. But he was. He saw the opening, her arms were raised. He suddenly plunged both hands into her armpits and started tickling. Her arms flew back down, but it was too late, he was wedged in there and his fingers were working away, sending electric tickles shooting through her, he had her good, and all she could do was be hysterical and giggle and beg and take it.
When he was done playing with her and he sat back like the cat who ate the canary, his arms spread out on the back of the couch, she got up and kissed him right on the lips. Then they made love.
I asked her what she thought of the whole incident. She said "It was fun!"
**********************************************************
Not too long after, she reported a second tickling. This is what I wrote back then:
Just last night (all day long I'm still buzzing from hearing about it!). Once again, an older man, she comes in and he tells her to get nude and lay on the bed. She's laying on the bed, nude, all stretched out when he walked over past the foot of the bed, reached down and grabbed one of her ankles and held it up. At first, she didn't think anything of it, just "oh, this man is holding my foot", but then all of a sudden he lifted his hand and started gently tickling her sole with one finger. Immediately she flinched back with a giggle but he had her by the ankle. He started dancing all his fingers up and down her sole causing her to hitch forward and try to grab her own trapped foot but the tickling was so much that she immediately fell back on the bed, rolling around and twisting with laughter. I can attest that was often her move.
He started to taunt her saying, "Oh, you like that, don't you. DON'T YOU?", to which she started screaming "YES! YES!" through the laughter! She said he kept on doing it, way past the point she would have thought he would stop, she said he seemed to be fascinated with all the reactions he was getting. Finally, he stopped, held up her foot, pursed his lips and kissed it right on the sole.... but she said he had a big, bushy white mustache and that, combined with the feel of his lips, tickled her, too! She started screaming "NO,NOT THAT!" and he smiled (she said she could feel his smile broaden on her sole) and bit her right on the instep to which she started squealing and begging him to stop. He nibbled on her a bit and then, pleased with himself, he climbed onto the bed and they moved onto other things.
********************************************************
She had two other incidents that she reported to me during her time of working as an escort. One was a guy who was younger, ("our age" she said, "our age" was late 20s). During sex, he was on top of her and had lifted her arms over her head and had them pinned there as he fucked her. He's kissing her, kissing her neck, kissing her breasts, when suddenly he plunges his face into her armpit and starts passionately making out with it. She never could take that. Immediately she started shrieking with laughter, but there was nothing she could do, he had her completely overpowered. She said he was driving her crazy and completely ignoring her distress, he just kept kissing her there because that's what he wanted to do, passionately teasing her underarm with his mouth and making her go out of her mind, until he didn't want to do it anymore and he went back to fucking her. She said he just did it the one time. I guess just to show her who's boss.
********************************************************
The last incident she reported was just a quick one, she said she went on this call to the most disgusting apartment she had ever walked in. It was a big fat Domnican drug dealer, and even though he acted completely disinterested, he would request her from the agency all the time.
One day, he got the notion to tickle her a bit. For some reason, i wrote it down as a poem:
Knee length slip dress and her candies
She’s on the couch,
Hip hop playing
He’s a thug, a big fat drug dealing thug
In a disgusting dump of an apartment
Always scowling.
He fixes her a look
reaches over with both hands and starts tickling her around the sides
She wiggles and giggles and says “It tickles”.
And then he stopped.
He never once smiled.
He wanted to play with her.
**************************************************
I did get bold with her once and I asked her "Do you think you could make yourself get tickled tonight? Do you think you could get a guy to tickle you?"
Once again, she smiled devilishly, and you could see the wheels turning ad her racking her brain for who she could tempt.
"Yeah, yeah, I think I can!", she said, giggling. "I'll try to get my driver to tickle me, he likes me I think."
"Really?! What are you going to do?"
"Maybe what I'll do is I'll put my foot up in the front seatnext to him." (remember, she's in the back seat). "I'll put my foot up next to him and ask him to tickle me."
"Really?!!"
"Mmm-hmm!"
"You think he'll do it?"
"I think so! He likes me!"
Well, I can tell you, just knowing this might happen got me through at least a few nights without crying my eyes out or throwing my guts up, lol. That was pretty normal for me back then, lol.
But she never remembered once she was on the job, and so even though I asked, she'd always say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot! Tonight! I'll do it tonight!". She wasn't giving me a line, she was game, believe me, this was the least of what she was doing around that time. She felt bad what she was putting me through (still does!), she wanted to make me happy. Except to stop drinking! (actually even that! I gave her an ultimatum eventually: don't call me until you're 6 monnths sober. 6 months and 1 day later, she called me. She had gone to AA the next day and had/has been sober ever since.
********************************
After that time - or I should say during that time - she ended up hooking up with some of her older clients, and bounced between a few of them as "sugar daddy boyfriends". I consider the tickling experiences she had with those men separate from these escort experiences. Those anecdotes are found elsewhere on this blog, at least some of them.
As for me, this era kind of left me in a seedy place. i could not relate to "normal" girls/women for a long time. I couldn't remember how I ever had flirted or how I had ever gotten a girlfriend, I totally had lost my bearings. And I couldn't stop loving her, caring about her, wanting her, craving her, I was totally lost. When I got a chunk of money from a court judgment against my landlord, I decided to dabble in her world and for a short period of time, I found a place called "The Leg Shop" which had really pretty, beautiful girls there that you could play with. I started going there a lot and had myself some amazing, cathartic and healing experiences that got me over the hump. I ended up converting one of them (she's on the TMF to this day!) and taking home another. But that will be for another blogpost.
And as for her, as I said, she ended up getting sober and, other than falling off the wagon briefly once, has remained sober ever since. She ended up getting her old job back and I can say, as much as anyone can in the 21st century, lived happily ever after.
I've never gotten over her really, or more specifically, over the trauma of what her problems put us through...... wish I could say I did.
It was very cathartic writing this all out.
