Ongoing family shit.. they really are unreal..
I already posted about my father blowing up at me on the phone yesterday for my thinking he's against me. Gee.., why would I think that? Just because he attacks my dead mother constantly.. when I've asked him repeatedly not to, and he knows it breaks my heart. Would I think that because he;s best friends with my worst enemies.. his family.. who have been so vicious to me this year.. after I was so gracious to them? He's coming out here to see me today, for what reason I don't know.
Then my aunt the artist.. another piece of work.
She has always minimized others problems.. going on about herself.. even to my mom.. when my mom was terminally ill.
If I merely tell her "I'm upset about repeatedly failing the exam, after how hard I'm working, and I'm concerned that Aflac is going to ask me to leave, and I wont get into insurance. " Her reply to me is "I (She) have real problems", completely negating and invalidating my frustration and heartbreak about how hard I'm working, and not passing my exam. Of course I know she has serious problems, and I've always been sympathetic toward her. That doesn't give her the right to invalidate my frustration and terrible feelings about working hard, and again not being able to accomplish my goal,. She then says "You;'re failing the exams, because you're fixated on your father, and not focusing". Another brushoff. Er.. no,,. genius.. I don't think about my father when I'm working, or watching Jim Gardner. I'm failing because the damn exam is worded like the SAT, and its' playing brain games with me.,. and confusing me from true information I learned to prepare for the test.
My aunt even told me that Maria doesn't want to be with me, because I've talked to her about my problems. Er.. wrong again, know it all. Maria unloads to me about her problems all the time. She will ask me how things are,., and I'll gently and briefly tell her the latest since the last time I saw her.
I just want to find a profession which enables me to be self sufficient enough to place my family all on the back burner.
I have two days until the next all day review class. I don't know what happens after that.,
I already posted about my father blowing up at me on the phone yesterday for my thinking he's against me. Gee.., why would I think that? Just because he attacks my dead mother constantly.. when I've asked him repeatedly not to, and he knows it breaks my heart. Would I think that because he;s best friends with my worst enemies.. his family.. who have been so vicious to me this year.. after I was so gracious to them? He's coming out here to see me today, for what reason I don't know.
Then my aunt the artist.. another piece of work.
She has always minimized others problems.. going on about herself.. even to my mom.. when my mom was terminally ill.
If I merely tell her "I'm upset about repeatedly failing the exam, after how hard I'm working, and I'm concerned that Aflac is going to ask me to leave, and I wont get into insurance. " Her reply to me is "I (She) have real problems", completely negating and invalidating my frustration and heartbreak about how hard I'm working, and not passing my exam. Of course I know she has serious problems, and I've always been sympathetic toward her. That doesn't give her the right to invalidate my frustration and terrible feelings about working hard, and again not being able to accomplish my goal,. She then says "You;'re failing the exams, because you're fixated on your father, and not focusing". Another brushoff. Er.. no,,. genius.. I don't think about my father when I'm working, or watching Jim Gardner. I'm failing because the damn exam is worded like the SAT, and its' playing brain games with me.,. and confusing me from true information I learned to prepare for the test.
My aunt even told me that Maria doesn't want to be with me, because I've talked to her about my problems. Er.. wrong again, know it all. Maria unloads to me about her problems all the time. She will ask me how things are,., and I'll gently and briefly tell her the latest since the last time I saw her.
I just want to find a profession which enables me to be self sufficient enough to place my family all on the back burner.
I have two days until the next all day review class. I don't know what happens after that.,
