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How Do I Come Across?

S

Skipadeedoodah

Level of Grape Feather
Joined
Dec 24, 2002
Messages
16,613
Points
38
Another member and I were discussing the difference between how some people are/come across on the forum and how they are/come across in person. Sometimes the two are just so incredibly different it's amazing.

Now I'm not talking about people who pretend to be something they're not -- I mean people who just, for whatever reason, give off one vibe online and another vibe in person.

So here's my question - how do I come across on the TMF? And for those of you who've met me - how does that jive with how I come across in person? I am prepared for positive and negative feedback...as long as the negative feedback is phrased respectfully and/or constructively 🙂
 
The entire "nonstop" shit talking front you put on on the forum is exactly that, a front. Nothing wrong with it, because you are trying to dig your own hole purposely. You really are a sweet and fairly quiet person in person, especially around those you don't know. You are still YOU and will tell someone to go fuck themselves because the personality is the same, it's just toned done publicly. :whip:
 
maybe i just have a different way of seeing people through the internet bawks. You seem like someone who would fit it as one of my close friends lyz, same goes for a lot of the people here. Aside from the online rage we sometimes show here i really doubt everyone is the same online as they are in person, which becomes very apparent when you talk to someone on the phone. i kinda figured you were exactly what jay described in person. Looking forward to meeting you at nest this year to find out for sure. 😀
 
Skibadee Doo Dah said:
Another member and I were discussing the difference between how some people are/come across on the forum and how they are/come across in person. Sometimes the two are just so incredibly different it's amazing.

Now I'm not talking about people who pretend to be something they're not -- I mean people who just, for whatever reason, give off one vibe online and another vibe in person.

So here's my question - how do I come across on the TMF? And for those of you who've met me - how does that jive with how I come across in person? I am prepared for positive and negative feedback...as long as the negative feedback is phrased respectfully and/or constructively 🙂
Click to expand...

It's funny you brought this up,because i was just thinking about it.And honestly when you started posting on a regular basis i thought you came across as kind of abrasive and i pretty much stayed out of your threads because of that.

That was my perception,but i know enough people who have met you and i now realise i was mistaken.The internet is a funny creature,and it's so easy to misunderstand people when all one has to go on is the printed word.Make sense to you?

I was actually thinking about sending a friends request when i saw this thread.I'm still intrested if you are.🙂
 
KrazieDog said:
The entire "nonstop" shit talking front you put on on the forum is exactly that, a front. Nothing wrong with it, because you are trying to dig your own hole purposely. You really are a sweet and fairly quiet person in person, especially around those you don't know. You are still YOU and will tell someone to go fuck themselves because the personality is the same, it's just toned done publicly. :whip:
Click to expand...

I support this statement
 
bugman said:
It's funny you brought this up,because i was just thinking about it.And honestly when you started posting on a regular basis i thought you came across as kind of abrasive and i pretty much stayed out of your threads because of that.
Click to expand...

LOL I was thinking of it too! After talking with someone about how I am and how I seem. And yes you do seem quite abrasive and aggressive. But that's fine, although if you come after me I'll probably just not care too much, at least I don't anymore.

I mean most of the time I come across as terrible and mean, and in actuality I'm...terrible and mean. Wait a second...that's not a good thing is it? Wanna get together sometime and help each other appear as a decent person? XD
 
Personally I didn't find you any different here at my place than I did online. Sure you talk smack, most 'lees do myself included; these 'lers are just too easy to harass. But I didn't see a real lessening of your assertiveness (I don't think of you as aggressive) once you got comfortable in my house and with everyone. That could be just me, but I saw the same affectionate, hilarious "I will BK you!" chickie here that I did online :smilestar
 
bugman said:
It's funny you brought this up,because i was just thinking about it.And honestly when you started posting on a regular basis i thought you came across as kind of abrasive and i pretty much stayed out of your threads because of that.
Click to expand...

And if you add pushy, obnoxious, judgemental, and patronizing to the above statement, that was my initial thought based on a couple of threads we've posted on. It has made me avoid your threads because it's one thing to have a differing opinion, it's another when it appears that there is a personality issue between us. So naturally I stayed out of your threads because of the risk of derailing them with an arguement.

Over the last couple of years, I've gotten into more of my share of fights with younger forum members (hi Viper) because my trigger is disrespect. If I feel disrespected by anyone it gets my dander up but openly admit it gets even worse when it's from someone young enough to be my child. I am fully aware that you're not my child, or even a child at all; you guys are young adults trying to find your place in a less than pleasant world. Please understand that everyone has a hot button and that one is mine. I try to handle things in a more mature fashion or just completely ignore the poster that pisses me off. But I'm a work in progress who is going through a really hard time and has been more prickly and touchy than normal lately. That's no one's problem but my own and it's my responsibility to work more diligently to fix it and keep it under control.

But since you are willing to put yourself out in this manner, you obviously want to know things and want to make them better if you can. No one gets along with everybody and I'll be the first to say I'm not exactly the easiest person to get along with. I know at least ten people I'm not worried about adding me to their friends list:sarcasm::panic: So here's how I feel now since you opened this thread....:sorry: :goodjob: :milestone: :yourock:

I will try to be more patient and understanding in the future with you and the other younger members of the forum. Some of you come off so strong that it's something I need to get used to. When I was your age, there was no public internet access and certainly no TMF where I could be with like minded people and share my passions and opinions. Hell, I didn't even own a computer until 1995 so I have a lot to learn. Maybe this is just an opportunity to learn from those who might not have my age, but have a helluva lot more experience in certain subject matters than me.
 
You come across as mean, bullying, threatening, loud-mouthed......

No, I lie. K-dog said it all. You run your mouth a LOT, whether it's because you want to dig yourself into a hole or it's just your way of creating friendly banter. Either way, you're very sweet and I consider you a good friend. That's the feeling I get from you.

Enjoy the above statement, Lyz, because I'm never repeating it again. 😀

:twohugs:
 
bugman said:
It's funny you brought this up,because i was just thinking about it.And honestly when you started posting on a regular basis i thought you came across as kind of abrasive and i pretty much stayed out of your threads because of that.
Click to expand...

Any examples? I'm a sweet girl! :innocent: and aside from the playful shit-talking Krazie mentioned, I never want to come off any other way 🙂

bugman said:
I was actually thinking about sending a friends request when i saw this thread.I'm still intrested if you are.🙂
Click to expand...

Always 🙂


ViperGTS said:
So many jokes....
Click to expand...

:slapfight:

Excess said:
LOL I was thinking of it too! After talking with someone about how I am and how I seem. And yes you do seem quite abrasive and aggressive. But that's fine, although if you come after me I'll probably just not care too much, at least I don't anymore.

I mean most of the time I come across as terrible and mean, and in actuality I'm...terrible and mean. Wait a second...that's not a good thing is it? Wanna get together sometime and help each other appear as a decent person? XD
Click to expand...

Love to! 😛

FlockOfSeagulls said:
mean & nasty...

:neenerneener::imouttahe
Click to expand...

I will mean & nasty your face! :matrix:

kis123 said:
And if you add pushy, obnoxious, judgemental, and patronizing to the above statement, that was my initial thought based on a couple of threads we've posted on. It has made me avoid your threads because it's one thing to have a differing opinion, it's another when it appears that there is a personality issue between us. So naturally I stayed out of your threads because of the risk of derailing them with an arguement.

Over the last couple of years, I've gotten into more of my share of fights with younger forum members (hi Viper) because my trigger is disrespect. If I feel disrespected by anyone it gets my dander up but openly admit it gets even worse when it's from someone young enough to be my child. I am fully aware that you're not my child, or even a child at all; you guys are young adults trying to find your place in a less than pleasant world. Please understand that everyone has a hot button and that one is mine. I try to handle things in a more mature fashion or just completely ignore the poster that pisses me off. But I'm a work in progress who is going through a really hard time and has been more prickly and touchy than normal lately. That's no one's problem but my own and it's my responsibility to work more diligently to fix it and keep it under control.

But since you are willing to put yourself out in this manner, you obviously want to know things and want to make them better if you can. No one gets along with everybody and I'll be the first to say I'm not exactly the easiest person to get along with. I know at least ten people I'm not worried about adding me to their friends list:sarcasm::panic: So here's how I feel now since you opened this thread....:sorry: :goodjob: :milestone: :yourock:

I will try to be more patient and understanding in the future with you and the other younger members of the forum. Some of you come off so strong that it's something I need to get used to. When I was your age, there was no public internet access and certainly no TMF where I could be with like minded people and share my passions and opinions. Hell, I didn't even own a computer until 1995 so I have a lot to learn. Maybe this is just an opportunity to learn from those who might not have my age, but have a helluva lot more experience in certain subject matters than me.
Click to expand...

Oh Kis 🙂 You're nothing if not honest 🙂 As soon as I saw your name I took a deep breath and said "You invited this Lyz..." LOL You and I have definitely had our differences, haven't we 🙂 And I'm sure we'll have plenty of them in the future - but if there's one thing that I really want people I tend to disagree with is that I never ever am purposefully disrespectful or try to hurt someone's feelings. I have strong opinions and I'm stubborn 😀 I'm blunt to a fault, but I don't try to take low blows, or come across as a bitch. I'm fully aware that this is sometimes how I come across, which kind of brings this thread full circle.

I sincerely want to know how I come across to clear up any potential misunderstandings, and perhaps facilitate a few new friendships 🙂 So yeah....as you were 🙂
 
Skibadee Doo Dah said:
Any examples? I'm a sweet girl! :innocent: and aside from the playful shit-talking Krazie mentioned, I never want to come off any other way 🙂
Click to expand...

As i said,that was my initial perception.I was wrong,not for the first time in my life and i don't want to go digging up a bunch of old threads or posts to prove how wrong i was.🙂
 
bugman said:
As i said,that was my initial perception.I was wrong,not for the first time in my life and i don't want to go digging up a bunch of old threads or posts to prove how wrong i was.🙂
Click to expand...

LOL auwww that's not what I meant 🙂 I just meant like...I dunno what I meant LOL nevermind!!! :twohugs:
 
You were really quiet at first in Ohio. I know it was because of nerves, because you certainly shook it off after a few hours. 🙂

I do have to say this though: Despite all your smack talk, you're just a harmless kitteh. 😛 <3
 
Skibadee Doo Dah said:
LOL auwww that's not what I meant 🙂 I just meant like...I dunno what I meant LOL nevermind!!! :twohigs:
Click to expand...

Fair enough.Now you're gonna get that friend request i threatened you with!Accept at your own risk.:neenerneener:
 
CrystalLight said:
You were really quiet at first in Ohio. I know it was because of nerves, because you certainly shook it off after a few hours. 🙂

I do have to say this though: Despite all your smack talk, you're just a harmless kitteh. 😛 <3
Click to expand...

Dammit Jo!! Ferocious!! :lion:

:ily:

und..yesh..I are quiet in person...cause I'm shy...but I promise...once I get comfortable you'll be wishing I'd shut the hell up 😀
 
You act no different on here then you do on the phone... or in pm's with me. You walk loudly and carry a toothpick.


But I havent had the opportunity to meet you in person so i dont know.
 
Skipadeedoodah said:
Dammit Jo!! Ferocious!! :lion:

:ily:

und..yesh..I are quiet in person...cause I'm shy...but I promise...once I get comfortable you'll be wishing I'd shut the hell up 😀
Click to expand...

See, I remember all the gabbing we did Sunday night so I do *not* think of you as quiet, you were vivacious and full of things to say in my mind :woman:
 
BellaRisa said:
See, I remember all the gabbing we did Sunday night so I do *not* think of you as quiet, you were vivacious and full of things to say in my mind :woman:
Click to expand...

:pounce: ILY Bella!!! You have this amazing way of making me feel so comfortable 🙂 Seriously - you're the bomb diggity...no doubt.
 
To me, you come off as sincere, respectful, silly, friendly, and warm. This is why I totally can't wait to meet you in t-minus 4 days! OHMYGOSH!
 
You seem to be very nice to your friends on the forum, but you come across as very abrasive to other members. And the girl in your sig pic is twice as bad. Over the last year, the younger generation has clearly taken over this forum. While I agree that they`ve injected new life into the place, it has come with a price. Many long time middle aged members have left or rarely post because of the pissing matches and attack dog behaviour that goes on. One of the most popular females in the history of the TMF no longer posts for that very reason. I just exchanged emails with her over the weekend, and she says she feels like she no longer fits in. I may be wrong, but I really believe we`ve seen the last of her and thats a damn shame. She lit up this place.:smilestar I find it odd that Crystal is still getting the snot kicked out of her by members in threads. She has matured so much over the last few months. Its been a pleasure to watch, and I wish some of you would follow her example.
 
unclebill said:
You seem to be very nice to your friends on the forum, but you come across as very abrasive to other members.
Click to expand...

I also feel as my favorite uncle does on this point.

In addition, I avoid your threads, and mostly have you on ignore. I can still see that you've posted, but I have to click a button to read what you've written. Because of this feature, I barely know you are here. :excited:

Please keep in mind that I only share this feedback because you specifically asked for it.
 
unclebill said:
You seem to be very nice to your friends on the forum, but you come across as very abrasive to other members. And the girl in your sig pic is twice as bad. Over the last year, the younger generation has clearly taken over this forum. While I agree that they`ve injected new life into the place, it has come with a price. Many long time middle aged members have left or rarely post because of the pissing matches and attack dog behaviour that goes on. One of the most popular females in the history of the TMF no longer posts for that very reason. I just exchanged emails with her over the weekend, and she says she feels like she no longer fits in. I may be wrong, but I really believe we`ve seen the last of her and thats a damn shame. She lit up this place.:smilestar I find it odd that Crystal is still getting the snot kicked out of her by members in threads. She has matured so much over the last few months. Its been a pleasure to watch, and I wish some of you would follow her example.
Click to expand...

Helena said:
I also feel as my favorite uncle does on this point.

In addition, I avoid your threads, and mostly have you on ignore. I can still see that you've posted, but I have to click a button to read what you've written. Because of this feature, I barely know you are here. :excited:

Please keep in mind that I only share this feedback because you specifically asked for it.
Click to expand...

I'm sorry that ya'll feel this way. Contrary to how I seem to come across to the two of you, I feel like I can never have enough friends on this forum 🙂 And I'm more than happy to get to know anybody.

Unclebill - I don't think we've ever actually posted together, or gotten to know one another, and I'm sorry that you feel like the younger generation has ousted some of the old-timers. I can assure you, that was never my intention, and I'm relatively sure the others in my age group would say the same. The same thing is going to happen to us in 10 years or so. A new wave of whippersnappers will come along, and some of us may find ourselves put off by their actions. All I can say is that we all need to make an effort to understand eachother based not only on the things we have in common, but also our differences, and not view any one group as the enemy. Feel free to PM me anytime 🙂

Helena - I know you and I were part of a heated thread awhile back, but I don't think that needs to carry over to all parts of the forum. We both have strong opinions, and while I apologize if I offended your personally, I doubt that aspect of either of our personalities is going to change 😉 Obviously it's completely your choice to have me on ignore - that's what the feature is there for! But if I had known that sooner, I absolutely would have PM'ed you to try and resolve it. I don't ever want anyone to think that getting along with me is such a lost cause that they have to ignore each and every post I make. I never want to have that kind of impact on someone!! You, also, can feel free to PM me anytime 🙂

I'm not going to go on a PMing tangent trying to get ahold of every person who has a negative comment about me, because some people just might not want to hear from me, and I want to respect that. But please understand that there's NOBODY I don't want to be friends with, so if you think we might be able to find some common ground, feel free to drop me a PM tonight or a year from now 🙂
 
You know that scene in the Lion King, where the young Simba tries to scare a bug by roaring at it, but can't?

😉
 
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