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Anyone speak English here?

Nej, inte jag i alla fall. Här är det svenska som gäller! 😉 xD
 
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^ Ching Chong can (at least) manage.
 
I do not speak English, and never will. I speak in small chirping sounds and giggles. The long giggles are sometimes mistaken for laughing loudly, but that only occurs after I have had to argue with someone about the weather machine in the basement and how to fill it with salt. I was caught speaking English once a very long time ago, and the results were quite extraordinary. I ended up tied to a toaster that didn't work and shouted at me for the better half of a week. It was then that I decided that speaking English was far to dangerous, and I have never made that mistake again- for fear the weed-wacker, who has since married the toaster's brother, may have something against jokes. the results could be catastrophic.
 
I sometimes speak it but not very well or often.
 
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