Anyone want to develop a nice little arachnophobia?

[tkrexx]

MAKE IT DEAD!

ARxxaphobic

 

[MadKalnod]

I've never understood any of my ex's desires to visit Australia. You will never catch me setting foot on that continent. Hey, if you live there, more power to ya! It just seems that there are about 50,000,000 things that want to eat/poison/mutilate/sicken/digest/mutate/paralyze/anallyfuck/chew you that it's not worth it. It's like the whole friggin' island wants to eat everything that lands on it. If the spiders, snakes, bugs or plants don't poison you, the crocodiles, lizards or birds want to eat you and in the water there's the sharks, jellyfish and venomous urchins.

What the fuck is wrong with this place?

I'm reminded of a passage from the late great Douglas Adams regarding the dangerous fauna of Australia:

"The second confusing thing about Australia is the animals. They can be divided into three categories: Poisonous, Odd, and Sheep.

"It is true that of the 10 most poisonous arachnids on the planet, Australia has 9 of them. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that of the 9 most poisonous arachnids, Australia has all of them. However, there are curiously few snakes, possibly because the spiders have killed them all. But even the spiders won't go near the sea. Any visitors should be careful to check inside boots (before putting them on) under toilet seats (before sitting down) and generally everywhere else. A stick is very useful for this task."

As for reasons to visit Australia, Dave, I must point out some terribly compelling ones here:

The exceedingly beguiling Claudia Black...

And Raelee Hill, who is so gorgeous it actually causes me physical pain...

For those two, I may be willing to face the venomous critters... provided my supply of pointy sticks holds out.

 

[BigJim]

Re: EASY MATH

Spider Outside = Valuable member of the ecosystem, friend of Earth.

Spider Inside = Dead.*


There. Hope that cleared all things up and settled any debates.


*Dead as in "dead-dead-dead-dead-totally-completely-irrevocably-and-inexorably-dead-because-the-fucker's-smashed/burned/squashed/in a million pieces-which-makes-him-fucking-dead.

You don't like em then? 😀 I dunno why I think so, just a feeling I get.

 

[The Pianist]

You know what, I had completely forgotten about the sea critters...

About the Jar thing... it really does work cause unless you really make the spiders scared and agro... they don't see it comming. They just sit there and let you cover them up. But you don't have to use a jar... I've seen enough people just coax the huntsmen in to thier hand... then either bring it outside, or freak out all the girls that were the ones that probably started screaming about it to begin with.

But yeah... I know Australia has got @#$& loads of stuff that can kill you... but if you live in the city you barely see any of it. I used to live in a city called Launceston. Its the 2nd biggest city in Tasmania... with a whopping 70,000 people living in it. And we were living a huge 20 minute walk from the city center (ie, on the outskirts) and literally had bush area just outside the fence. I lived there for 14 years... and what did I see?

A huntsman ever month or 2. (odd)
The occasional Kangaroo (odd)
A couple of echidnas (odd... spiky and poisinous if you really make them)
One Tiger Snake in the neighbours backgarden (poisionous)
One Red Back Spider (poisionous) It was making a web in our recycling bin. The only reason I saw it was because my dad found it, bottled it (like the huntsman) and brought it inside so we could see what it looked like. Its strange, knowing that it could kill you without medical attention made it alot more menacing than the huntsman that was 10 times its size.

Of couse, now I'm living in Melbourne (3million people) the worst I've seen is the huntsman... so my life has hardly been treatened. Actually, its more dangerous walking through some suburbs late at night...

Though, all this has reminded me of a wonderful song I once heard... was sorta a commedy/tourism thing...

(music music music) Come to Australia, you might get killed 🙂 (music music music)

 

[His Divine Shadow]

Sigh. Sorry it took so long to get here. *Bails Jim out again, punches chief on way out and procedes to beat the station into the dirt so Jim can't drain any more money by getting arested again.*

Austraila. The one place on earth where the wildlife is as weird as I am.

 

[BigJim]

*drains a can of Stella Artois and proceeds to beat himself into the ground with a cricket bat.*

 

[His Divine Shadow]

Someone needs help. *Shakes head.*

 

[BigJim]

*is beyond all help and wants another beer*

 

[His Divine Shadow]

*Gives Jim another Beer.*

 

[Haltickling]

Hey Jim, I just sent you a beer via e-mail... 😛

 

[His Divine Shadow]

Beer, Beer, everywhere. The Scots are overjoyed.

 

[amk714]

Re: um....

Y'all do realize that the "clock" spider is the same spider as the Huntsman one... it's a sequence of pics showing someone removing the clock to reveal the spider.... lol The clock pic is to give a sense of scale to the size of the spider....

I do now! Thought they looked alike, thanks for clearing that up. (Yes, I admit my mistakes. Is that so hard to believe?) 😛

 

[Haltickling]

The difference...

... between arachnophobia

and arachnophilia:

 

[His Divine Shadow]

The dreaded X rears it's ugly head.

 

[JPie1]

this like totally made my little hairs stand on end

 

[Limeoutsider]

Why does this thread give me an image of drunken spiders trying to crawl around and build webs?

 

[The Pianist]

Actually, I've got a good feeling that both those spiders (at least the last one) have been "Photoshopped" in. Ie, they're not real. Though there are some totally legit pictures with people standing there, looking blankly at the camera, with half a dozen big (non venemous) spiders crawling over them.

 

[His Divine Shadow]

Lime: Because of the arachnids and the beer!!!