Ask Natural sumthin'

[goddess_nemesis]

Do fish swim backwards?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Why does is rain cats and dogs instead of cows and sheep?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Why is a man, male and a woman (wo-man), female (fe-male)? 2 extra letters…does that mean something?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Why is it when you are tired you are all pooped out?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Why do we only watch TV? Don’t we have to listen to it too?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Why do we dust the furniture to remove dust?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Why don't buses have seat belts?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

How can time fly? Does it have wings?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Where is the any key on a computer keyboard?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Why are crazy people called basket cases?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

When having your mind read by a psychic, are all your words spelled right?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Do you dance like crazy, when no one is looking?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Why do women shave their armpits and men don't?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

What really gives you the creeps?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Did you have a nickname in middle school or high school?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

How do you like the bombing I just gave you? 😛

 

[leafstk]

Can I help you punish Nikki for this outrage?

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Do you still love me?

 

[TropicThunder]

What should I cook for dinner tonight?

 

[natural tickler]

Can I help you punish Nikki for this outrage?

yes you may, and punish her well...if you need some hot spot secrets, I am your man

What should I cook for dinner tonight?

something you haven't had in a while

 

[natural tickler]

Do bald men wash their head with soap or shampoo?

whatever keeps their skin clean

Why are the obituaries found in the "living" section of the newspaper?

because dead people cant read

How can someone be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?

because the rich person has dirty money

Have you ever noticed that when you put 'THE' and 'IRS' together it forms 'THEIRS'?

I do now

Are one handed people offended when police tell them to put their hands up?

unless they say hand and a nub

How can sweet and sour sauce be sweet and sour at the same time?

with just the right amount of sugar and tanginess you get your mix

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

absolutely, so they can sleep on the job

If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

their management

Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

that's why there is honeycombs

If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?

a migrane headache

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

down the toilet

If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

he became a footless wonder

What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?

the boobs begin to sag

What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?

Arizona

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

so the dead wont rise

 

[natural tickler]

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

becomes a blank

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

nope, just practicing balance

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

because they have seamstresses

Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

because they have no items to whack someone with

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

yush, because no matter the gender, they can suck on titties with no controversy

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

nope, just voiceless pieces of pork

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

because silk feels good

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in... what happens to the other penny?

used for penny racers

Why is the man who invests all your money called a 'broker'?

because the bad investments leaves you with no money

Why do croutons comes in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

so they can be even more stale, if not, who wants fresh bread??

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

because the car comes in all colors

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

wise man gives wisdom...wise guys are stupid and suicidal

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

because you cant see what you've overlooked

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

perhaps, because you'll do anything

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

you have some issues...

 

[natural tickler]

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

if the tea bag isn't looking, yeah

What hair color do you put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

flesh tone color

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

to receive our help

How come no one ever says, "It's only a game" when their time is winning?

because they nothing else to say

How come you never hear about gruntled employees?

that would mean happiness...against the rules

If quitters never win and winners never quit, what fool came up with "Quit while you're ahead"?

the same fool who invented mix n match

Would you be willing to commit perjury in court for a close friend?

depends on the offense the friend made, and depending on the friend

Would you be willing to eat a bowl of live crickets for $40,000?

nope

Would you be willing to give up sex for five years if you could have wonderfully sensual and erotic dreams whenever you wished?

if it allowed me to jack off in my sleep

Would you be willing to have horrible nightmares every night for a year if you would be rewarded with extraordinary wealth?

if I am allowed to scream in my lady's ear scaring the shit out of her

Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 5 years to become extremely attractive?

hell no, I would rather be old and ugly and be here for a while

Would you enjoy spending a month of solitude in a beautiful natural setting? Food and shelter would be provided but you would not see another person.

nope, rather would be hungry with company..they would be starving too...misery loves company

Would you generally be overdressed or underdressed at a party?

depends on the party

If you could wake up tomorrow in the body of someone else currently living, would you do so? Whom would you pick?

yush, Bill Gates...to wonder what its like being that damn rich

Would you have one of your fingers surgically removed if it guaranteed immunity from all major diseases?

only if I can keep the middle one

 

[natural tickler]

Have you ever returned an item to a store for a refund after having used it?

all the time

What was the most recent movie that made you cry?

Robin Hood, because watching Russell Crowe makes me cry...Maximus!!!!

Do you believe honesty is the best policy?

until the policy is expired

What dead person would you least want to be haunted by?

Hitler..because he may call for 6 million more deaths

Which cartoon character do you resemble the most?

since everyone thinks I am a care bear...guess that one

What one toiletry item could you never live without?

toilet paper...because no one wants a butt hole caked with shit

What would constitute a perfect evening for you?

a homecooked meal, a fifth of tequila, Wu-Tang Clan music, football on TV, and a beautiful woman to torture

If you could have heard the deathbed confession of one person from history, who would you pick?

Martin Luther King, Jr. so he could tell me how his dream could be realized

Which color describes you most accurately?

purple and royal blue, because I am royalty

Which is more important: actual experiences, or the memories that remain when the experiences are over?

both, because the high of both is wonderful

What is the most romantic thing that's ever been done for you?

someone surprising me with a candlelight dinner, then the most relaxing bath/massage one could have

If you could read the private diary of someone you know personally, whose diary would you read?

my older sister, because there are some juicy details about an episode I would love to blackmail her with

Would it disturb you if, upon your death, your body were simply thrown into the woods to rot?

yush, because that is no way to treat royalty

Would you accept $1 million to leave the country and never set foot in it again?

nope...because in America, you have crazy opportunities to make it yourself

Would you accept $10,000 to shave your head and continue your normal activities without a covering of any sort and without being able to explain the reason?

I am already bald

 

[goddess_nemesis]

yes you may, and punish her well...if you need some hot spot secrets, I am your man

Hey, no! No telling Leaf my hot spots. Plus, why should I be punished? You said I could bomb you.

Your answers so far have been epic!