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Crappy movies

::my figners lightly touch the keyboard:: "jazz? blues? hnoky-tonk? Baroque? Mozart? "
 
Naturally, Wade. The crappy one, as the thread title would suggest. 😉
 
Butbutbut...it had `splosions and break-dancing robots! Andandand Shia LaBouf and pissing robots andandand...
 
I think the new transformers movie kicked ass!
Then again, if it has high budget computer animations (including transformers fighter jets and killer radio's) and explosions, im sold.

Ive never walked away from a movie my entire life, usually i go only to the movies i really wish to see.

But i do have a title for this thread. I could name several, but this one top the cake.

Hercules in new york.

Watch it

I dare you to sit it out>.<
 
The Happening. No explanation needed....

And hell no i'm not explaining how bad it is 'cause I don't want to remember.
 

Can't really say I blame you there. The new one did leave a lot to be desired, like a lot more time on the actual Transformers. I mean, anyone who's seen the original series (Yes, including the much-maligned third season) knows that the Transformers themselves could be really strong characters if written properly. Instead they just had brief appearances here and there, and some of what few appearances they had were just ridiculous. *Points to Pissing Bumblebee.*
 
Dozens... an UBER shitty verison of Zodiac, not the Jake Gylenhall version. Identity with John Cusack, I didn't walk out, but if I had got the slightest inclination of it having the weak ass ending it had, I would have. And I know I am going to piss a lot of people off with the next two, but I felt the same way about Saw! It's not like it's the biggest plot flaw I have ever seen, but when they went to such effort and detail to have a clever twist, how did they not notice the gaping whole in the story that made the premise of said twist an impossibility. I understand most viewers not seeing it, like I say it's not huge but it's there. And so many people like it so much, I will not reveal it, who am I to ruin something you love. I just tell people to watch for it. On a seperate note, any movie that claims to be horror, but like Saw is not much more than torture porn. Hostel for example. I did walk out of Spawn. And I am sorry I know it's blasphemy or something, but I thought Pirates of the Carribean, was the biggest load of shit I have ever seen.
 
i also stopped watching the new Transformers movie halfway through. but i plan to watch the rest of it one day....one day.......so i suppose that doesnt really count.
 
i also stopped watching the new Transformers movie halfway through. but i plan to watch the rest of it one day....one day.......so i suppose that doesnt really count.

Most of the latter half is the best part, aside from something toward the very end I was really disappointed with. I won't tell you what it is though.
As for ones I think are really crappy, well there was an old movie my parents really liked called "Ollie Hopnoodle's Haven of Bliss." I would cringe anytime that came on, it was that bad. The acting was bad, the characters were annoying. It wasn't even "So bad it's good" bad. It was just... bad.
Another I wasn't too crazy about, but I know others liked, was Donnie Darko. I don't know. I mean it started out interesting, and I guess I can see how a lot of the stuff came together and worked out, but it just didn't really grab me, and the ending was just like "WTF?"
 
The Happening. No explanation needed....

And hell no i'm not explaining how bad it is 'cause I don't want to remember.

I'll do it then ^_^
The trees, they hate us lol < Actuall explanation how the craptastic movie works
 
Worst movie I ever saw was Open Water - the title and summary are interchangeable. It's so bad it's not even funny-bad. It could make stoners cry. Steal it yourself and find out if you dare (I wouldn't waste the money renting it).

In the words of the Angry Video Game Nerd, "it sucking fucks, it fucking sucks, and I don't like it."
 
I haven't watched any new movies lately that I didn't like...though recently I had the opportunity to review the plot of TMNT III--you know, guys in turtle suits going back in time.

I used to love that movie, but the AVGN made me laugh my ass off realizing what a horrible movie that is. Really, it's that bad.

~K
 
I haven't watched any new movies lately that I didn't like...though recently I had the opportunity to review the plot of TMNT III--you know, guys in turtle suits going back in time.

I used to love that movie, but the AVGN made me laugh my ass off realizing what a horrible movie that is. Really, it's that bad.

~K


Oh, man. That's the worst. I've caught afew movies in more recent years that I enjoyed when I was much younger and wondered aloud, "What the hell did i find so great about this?!?".

Take Ralph Bakshi's Wizards, fer instance...
 
I loved wizards! It was so stylish and creative.

Howard the duck is probably the worst movie I've ever seen
 
if we're talking crappy movies in general, Dead Heat, about the cop that somehow becomes a zombie and must solve his own murder, with hilarious (*cough) consequences almost takes the cake. i recommend you see it only if you want to appreciate other movies more
 
But i do have a title for this thread. I could name several, but this one top the cake.

Hercules in new york.

Watch it

I dare you to sit it out>.<


Oh, good lord, why did you speak that name?? I just spent the last twelve months trying to forget it ever happened!! XD

*uncontrollable mental images of Arnold Schwarzaneger riding a chariot through Central Park and lashing a mafia car with a whip come flooding back* :laughing:
 
Napoleon Dynamite was the dumbest movie I've ever seen. I never cracked a smile even once watching that boring bullshit.
 
... Another that I made it through but absolutely hated was a direct-to-disc ripoff of Transphormers called (wait for it) Transmorphers! I knew going in that it'd blow, but I was hoping for that sort of bad-film that is so inept that it parodies itself, ala MST3K or Joe Bob Briggs. Instead, it plays like a cheap-jack film-school grad's attempt to impress the big studio heads into giving them more money to make more of the tired explosion/CGI/fluff they're already busily trying to mimic from _insert-video-game-title-here_ .
Despite many warnings, I actually watched AVH (Alien versus Hunter), made by the same rip-off artists who made Transmorphers. AVH is so awful ... where to begin? To spare you the horrible details, let me just mention the one and only part that was so bad it was good (or at least funny): they resurrected the ancient cheapo technique of simulating an outdoor "night" scene by filming in broad daylight with a blue filter over the camera lens. That kinda sorta works with black and white film, but I now know why no other color film I've ever seen has used that gimmick. It is totally ridiculous. But that pretty much describes the whole movie.
 
I would say that any movie made by Pauley Shore falls into this category. But let's see, one that's a little more noteworthy: Dungeons & Dragons the Movie. Ahh, I had such high hopes for that movie, but it totally sucked pond water. There is such fertile ground for a franchise there, but since it's fantasy it is never taken seriously. God forbid movie studios to put stock in fantasy as a subject for a media which is inherently make believe.
 
Despite many warnings, I actually watched AVH (Alien versus Hunter), made by the same rip-off artists who made Transmorphers. AVH is so awful ... where to begin? To spare you the horrible details, let me just mention the one and only part that was so bad it was good (or at least funny): they resurrected the ancient cheapo technique of simulating an outdoor "night" scene by filming in broad daylight with a blue filter over the camera lens. That kinda sorta works with black and white film, but I now know why no other color film I've ever seen has used that gimmick. It is totally ridiculous. But that pretty much describes the whole movie.


Ack! Thank you for alerting me to this new evil. I intend on avoiding any product from that particular creative team in the future. I'm having a difficult time expressing exactly what it was about their Transmorphers movie that rankled me so.
It's not that I can' t absolutely love a bad movie, believe me. I just caught one afew nights ago called Mutant Man, which was by no means "good", but which I found highly entertaining. It is reviled on the IMDb. One of the lowest ratings I've ever seen(on the site). But I had a great time watching the thing. There's a certain spirit to even the worst films that can override zero-budget and non-actors.

That's what weirded me out about Transmorphers: Everything was competently handled, but it was so...soulless.
 
I think Slumdog Millionaire looked pretty mediocre. Nowhere near as epic as my favorite films ever like Citizen Kane, There Will Be Blood, or Meet The Spartans.
 
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