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Deal breaker or not?

rhiannon said:
The one thing a partner should never do - ridicule you. No matter about what!

I do find it a little weird myself to try and make someone more ticklish though, I have to admit that.
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Eventually, you find something that works!!
 
For those who think compatibility is 'shallow' your judgement is superficial: you're conflating 'prerequisite' for 'most important' --two totally different things.

On the contrary, compatibility allows love to blossom fully with fewer obstacles. Those who are more selective to ensure compatibility before developing feelings just have higher standards.
 
SantaFeSwitch said:
For those who think compatibility is 'shallow' your judgement is superficial: you're conflating 'prerequisite' for 'most important' --two totally different things.

On the contrary, compatibility allows love to blossom fully with fewer obstacles. Those who are more selective to ensure compatibility before developing feelings just have higher standards.
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The thing is, you will never find someone who is compatible in every single aspect that you would like! And if you tie it to something as little as being ticklish or - even worse! - liking to be tickled, you will have a pretty damn hard time finding someone!

Unless all the other stuff that makes a relationship great doesn't mean as much to you as tickling....but I doubt that kind of relationship will last very long.
 
rhiannon said:
The thing is, you will never find someone who is compatible in every single aspect that you would like! And if you tie it to something as little as being ticklish or - even worse! - liking to be tickled, you will have a pretty damn hard time finding someone!

Unless all the other stuff that makes a relationship great doesn't mean as much to you as tickling....but I doubt that kind of relationship will last very long.
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Hence many of us struggle in life to find true happiness with (outside the forum) partners or vanilla's... which is why this forum exists, no?
 
barefeetarebest said:
Hence many of us struggle in life to find true happiness with (outside the forum) partners or vanilla's... which is why this forum exists, no?
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I am not sure that I understand you the right way, so let me make sure. 🙂

You are saying this forum exists because all people on here are unhappy in real life?
 
rhiannon said:
I am not sure that I understand you the right way, so let me make sure. 🙂

You are saying this forum exists because all people on here are unhappy in real life?
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No, absolutely not all... But a great deal of members here, myself being one and most likely a majority of them single males or partnered with someone whom is just not that into it, their fetishistic desires go unfulfilled (in real-time) for great lengths of time at a time. That's all I'm saying. There was obviously a need for this site or it would not have been started, nor would it continue to grow. Many on here hope to network with others who share their interest for the possibility of r/t play, or more.
 
rhiannon said:
The thing is, you will never find someone who is compatible in every single aspect that you would like! And if you tie it to something as little as being ticklish or - even worse! - liking to be tickled, you will have a pretty damn hard time finding someone!

Unless all the other stuff that makes a relationship great doesn't mean as much to you as tickling....but I doubt that kind of relationship will last very long.
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Have to agree with you entirely on this, Rhiannon. That's not to say I'm above or belittling the other argument... just makes more sense to me. Ideally, the partner you have in life will accept you fully for who you are, ticklish or not, lol 🙂
 
rhiannon said:
The thing is, you will never find someone who is compatible in every single aspect that you would like!
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Has anyone ever told you that you have a great grasp of the obvious? 🙂

"And if you tie it to something as little as being ticklish or - even worse! - liking to be tickled, you will have a pretty damn hard time finding someone!"

Strawman: Since the overwhelming majority of people are ticklish, it's not as big a problem as you seem to think. You're arguing about a narrow hypothetical.

"Unless all the other stuff that makes a relationship great doesn't mean as much to you as tickling....but I doubt that kind of relationship will last very long."

There's that great grasp of the obvious again!
 
barefeetarebest said:
Found myself in a similar situation as far as trying to make a person more ticklish.... and was accused of having an obsessive preoccupation... Well, what do we think a "fetish" is? Did you encounter this Leafs?
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Well, not exactly... I would just take it on as a challenge from time to time.. sometimes I was successful, most of the time not! Best part about that was, she'd turn around and make me pay for it, LOL 🙂

And truly, tickling wasn't at the top of her turn-on list.... but she knew I enjoyed it and enjoyed indulging in play for me, so long as I took equal interest in what she enjoyed.... the give and take I was talking about.

Sadly, we're not together anymore, but that's a completely different story 😀 LOL
 
barefeetarebest said:
No, absolutely not all... But a great deal of members here, myself being one and most likely a majority of them single males or partnered with someone whom is just not that into it, their fetishistic desires go unfulfilled (in real-time) for great lengths of time at a time. That's all I'm saying. There was obviously a need for this site or it would not have been started, nor would it continue to grow. Many on here hope to network with others who share their interest for the possibility of r/t play, or more.
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There are also sites online where people talk to each other about books, about dogs, about paranormal activity. Every interest has a site, because it is fun to talk to people who share it.

It is normal that a lot of active tickling fetishists don't have someone to share the fetish with because

a) there are way more active than passive lovers of tickling
b) there are way more men than women into it.

So - making tickling a dealbreaker for a relationship is like not taking a good job because you are hoping to win the lottery most of the time.

Ideally, the partner you have in life will accept you fully for who you are, ticklish or not, lol
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Exactly. Love is about accepting and wanting someone the way that person is!
 
There's that great grasp of the obvious again!
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You know, sometimes I get the feeling that I am the only one who actually sees the obvious on here! 🙂 That's why I feel the need to point it out! :bubbly:

Strawman: Since the overwhelming majority of people are ticklish, it's not as big a problem as you seem to think. You're arguing about a narrow hypothetical.
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Yeah, right, most people are, but most don't like to be tickled, at least not for greater lengths of times!
And personally I think for a tickling fetishist it is worse to be with someone who is ticklish and hates it than with someone who is not ticklish at all!
 
rhiannon said:
And personally I think for a tickling fetishist it is worse to be with someone who is ticklish and hates it than with someone who is not ticklish at all!
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Certainly in my experience, this couldn't be more true!
 
Ideally, she'd have to be willing to recieve and to give - or at least recieve.

It's not all that matters, but this 'interest' is a major component of who we are. Life's too short to hang around with people who don't have fun the way you do, or at least let you go after it just to keep your sanity.
 
Oddjob0226 said:
Ideally, she'd have to be willing to recieve and to give - or at least recieve.

It's not all that matters, but this 'interest' is a major component of who we are. Life's too short to hang around with people who don't have fun the way you do, or at least let you go after it just to keep your sanity.
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Well, is tickling the ONLY way you have fun?
 
SantaFeSwitch said:
Yes, I can tell. The rest of us are dummies with no life experience.
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That's not what I meant!

But seriously...when someone is making tickling a deal breaker, it seems to me that the person can't have all that much life experience!
 
Oddjob0226 said:
Nope. Just deeply rooted and won't be going away anytime. And thus, must be dealt with.
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See, I agree with this too.... there must at least be an understanding and certainly tolerance of what your partner is into if it's going to work. If you are made to feel like a pervert or worse, ridiculed for it like some have suggested, then yes.... I would say that is a deal breaker, because partners are supposed to accept each other fully for who they are - kinks and all, lol 🙂

However, I am not saying they must be INTO it for things to work, that's simply too high an expectation IMO 😉
 
Oddjob0226 said:
Nope. Just deeply rooted and won't be going away anytime. And thus, must be dealt with.
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Spending a lot of money is also a deeply rooted fun thing that won't go away anytime, but I don't have any money to spend, so I guess I have to live without it. 😉
 
leafstk said:
See, I agree with this too.... there must at least be an understanding and certainly tolerance of what your partner is into if it's going to work. If you are made to feel like a pervert or worse, ridiculed for it like some have suggested, then yes.... I would say that is a deal breaker, because partners are supposed to accept each other fully for who they are - kinks and all, lol 🙂

However, I am not saying they must be INTO it for things to work, that's simply too high an expectation IMO 😉
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Again, I agree. But then, tolerance has to be on both sides...if your partner, who is otherwise the greatest person in the world, is not into tickling, then it is something that must be accepted.
 
Certainly.... and who's to say I'm into everything she's into as well? Doesn't mean I care for her any less or look down on her... and I would certainly indulge her fantasies in an effort to please her and perhaps learn a thing or two myself, lol... give and take is essential, I think.
 
I think everything should be tried (unless it's something that's really, really, really unusual...like throwing up on each other 🙂 ), but if one person decides that they don't enjoy it, it shouldn't be done again.

If it is done just as a favor, it can make sex very uncomfortable and awkward in the long run.
 
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