Deal breaker or not?

[rhiannon]

You're conflating tolerance of other's opinions and preference for lovers, two different things.

I tolerate that others have another opinion. But that doesn't mean that I can't discuss these opinions if mine is different. If tolerance means that other opinions can't be discussed, then all people on here are intolerant. Otherwise, why would they come to a discussion forum?

 

[Raytheon]

"Ill play out your wildest fantasy in full if you'll play out mine"

To date Ive fully clothed in the shower with bubble bath and bondage.
Ive had consented raped at a masquerade ball.
Engulfed sex in a pile of pillows and furs.
Ive had one sided drunk sex (her wasted, me sober).
Had rapid sex on a slowly deflating air bed (fun!).
and a few more ... each time getting a little tickle fun in return and we all enjoyed ourselves and were all still great friends.

Everyone likes and dislikes things. You do something amazing for them and they do it right back to you 🙂 *smiles*

 

[SantaFeSwitch]

"Ill play out your wildest fantasy in full if you'll play out mine"

To date Ive fully clothed in the shower with bubble bath and bondage.
Ive had consented raped at a masquerade ball.
Engulfed sex in a pile of pillows and furs.
Ive had one sided drunk sex (her wasted, me sober).
Had rapid sex on a slowly deflating air bed (fun!).
and a few more ... each time getting a little tickle fun in return and we all enjoyed ourselves and were all still great friends.

Everyone likes and dislikes things. You do something amazing for them and they do it right back to you 🙂 *smiles*

Good save from the TMF thread-killer!

 

[ViperGTS]

Wow. This thread got a little crazy pretty quickly.

The bottom line is this: some people, such as myself, have things that are extremely important to them. For me, tickling is one of THE most important things in a romantic relationsip, along with sex, intelligent conversation, and the fact that my partner needs to be female. These are the pre-requisites. I don't ask for perfection - not even close - but if these highly important needs are not met, I will have to get them somewhere else, and that is NOT condusive to a relationship.

The only reason this is a hot point of contention is because when someone like me simply spells it out without holding back or being politically correct, others will try to roast that person while standing on some sort of moral pedestal in an attempt to assert their holiness, so to speak.

 

[rhiannon]

"Ill play out your wildest fantasy in full if you'll play out mine"

To date Ive fully clothed in the shower with bubble bath and bondage.
Ive had consented raped at a masquerade ball.
Engulfed sex in a pile of pillows and furs.
Ive had one sided drunk sex (her wasted, me sober).
Had rapid sex on a slowly deflating air bed (fun!).
and a few more ... each time getting a little tickle fun in return and we all enjoyed ourselves and were all still great friends.

Everyone likes and dislikes things. You do something amazing for them and they do it right back to you 🙂 *smiles*

The main problem with tickling is, that for the people who don't want to do it, it is an uncomfortable feeling. It is not something that they are just 'not into', it feels uncomfortable for them, they can't stand it, it makes them mad etc.

I am not a foot fetishist. But still, I could have a guy who is into feet worship them without minding all too much because no uncomfortable feeling is involved. If he wanted to torture my feet though (not with tickling, with pain!), then I would have a problem with it and I would not do it, no matter if it made my partner happy or not, because I would be too uncomfortable!

And what would be the point if he is turned on afterwards and I am totally turned off, because that is what uncomfortable feelings do, they turn you off.

Am I making sense? 🙂 Does anybody understand what I mean? 🙂

 

[SantaFeSwitch]

Wow. This thread got a little crazy pretty quickly.

The bottom line is this: some people, such as myself, have things that are extremely important to them. For me, tickling is one of THE most important things in a romantic relationsip, along with sex, intelligent conversation, and the fact that my partner needs to be female. These are the pre-requisites. I don't ask for perfection - not even close - but if these highly important needs are not met, I will have to get them somewhere else, and that is NOT condusive to a relationship.

The only reason this is a hot point of contention is because when someone like me simply spells it out without holding back or being politically correct, others will try to roast that person while standing on some sort of moral pedestal in an attempt to assert their holiness, so to speak.

Yep. Well said.

 

[Raytheon]

Hey erm ... that wasnt ment to come across as bad as it appears to ... sorry everyone

Good save from the TMF thread-killer!

Oh no do you guys call me that?? I dont want to kill threads...if im not wanted on the forums i can leave...i dont want to spoil it for everyone ><

 

[SantaFeSwitch]

Hey erm ... that wasnt ment to come across as bad as it appears to ... sorry everyone


Oh no do you guys call me that?? I dont want to kill threads...if im not wanted on the forums i can leave...i dont want to spoil it for everyone ><

No not at all!! I was praising you for saving the thread!!

 

[Deleted member 66627]

That's not what I meant!

But seriously...when someone is making tickling a deal breaker, it seems to me that the person can't have all that much life experience!

Jesus, rhiannon. You know I think you're pretty awesome, but you're being a little hardcore with the ball-breaking! 🙂

There are a lot more shallow things that happen ALL the time in blatant day light that are viewed as "deal breakers". Such as tit size, waist size or even the type of clothing the person wears.

Does that mean that tickling is not shallow in this terms? No. It can be viewed as such, but to me it's a lot less extreme then what I mentioned above.


And love doesn't happen right away, you know. It takes time and is built upon. You don't fall in love with the first person you meet, so if you have certain qualities you seek in a companion, so what?

 

[meangry]

You can lust at first sight, but never love.

Yes, my fantasies involve heavy elements of tickling, but I find myself wanting to be more easily compatible sexually with my partner. If the person I am with can enjoy erotic tickling, I am a very happy man, but at the same time, I can also say that if she is into something else, I can do that too. Not extremes, but anything to make the sexual experience overall.

I just look at it from my perspective; would I like to get my rocks off, or would I like to rock her world? I'll take rock her world, because then, she's going to want to rock mine.

 

[BostonTickling]

It's absolutely not a deal breaker for me. There are far more important things that I am concerned with when getting to know someone I am considering as a love interest, such as who they are. When I was much younger it would always be at the forefront of my mind, but as I've gotten older, that has changed in a big way.

 

[rhiannon]

You know I think you're pretty awesome, but you're being a little hardcore with the ball-breaking!

Of course, honey, I need to cultivate my image! 😉

There are a lot more shallow things that happen ALL the time in blatant day light that are viewed as "deal breakers". Such as tit size, waist size or even the type of clothing the person wears.

Does that mean that tickling is not shallow in this terms? No. It can be viewed as such, but to me it's a lot less extreme then what I mentioned above.

The thing is: the other stuff is all pretty common. To like tickling is NOT that common. 🙂 It's harder to find someone, and I think the majority on here will agree on that.

And love doesn't happen right away, you know. It takes time and is built upon. You don't fall in love with the first person you meet, so if you have certain qualities you seek in a companion, so what?

I know, that is why I am always so amazed to hear "tickling is a deal breaker". The common way in my environment to find a partner is to meet that person around because of common friends, because they are in the same sports club, whatever. You find each other attractive, you go out, you learn to know each other, you fall in love....and THEN sex starts to play a role. Okay, maybe you have sex a couple of times before you actually start being in love, but for sure you will not start talking about kink that early in a relationship. So by the time you find out if the person shares your kink or not, you will most likely have feelings already. And then I just doubt you will break up again, because you already are in love!

Is that so much different with everybody else? Do you tell people during the first date that you are into tickling??

meangry & BostonTickling: Thanks! 🙂 I love what you said. 🙂

 

[Raytheon]

No not at all!! I was praising you for saving the thread!!

oh dude thats my bad ... lol erm ... big thank you 🙂

 

[DanishTickling]

the situation is also important to the question.

if you're single it's basicly a choice between tickling and personaly, (IF the person doesn't like tickling!)
if you're in a relationship it's basicly a choise between tickling and love, (IF your partner doesn't like tickling!)

I'm not saying you can't have both, BUT if you meet a person you like or are in a relationship with someone, who doesn't like tickling, you would eventually have to decide what means the most to you.

in my case tickling would never become a deal breaker if I loved someone!
just call me a romantic

 

[leafstk]

... and for the record Viper et al, lol 😉 I wasn't trying to be high and mighty on a soap box... sorry if you interpreted it that way! I thought it was a pretty interesting discussion to be honest 🙂

I thought I posted something in here that brought a happy medium to it all... but I'm too tired to go and look now

haha... Cheers! *throws a few molson canadians around the room* 😀

 

[leafstk]

I just look at it from my perspective; would I like to get my rocks off, or would I like to rock her world? I'll take rock her world, because then, she's going to want to rock mine.

Couldn't have said it better myself! 😉 I "get off" on what get's HER off... and the payoff more often than not is pretty damn amazing 😀