Do I Have A Right To Feel Like I Want To Blow A Gasket At This?

[Mitchell]

Each person deals with things in different ways, Leo.

Trust me, soon,.. hopefully., there will be a thread from me "Driver fired", with a happy tone.

Before that, I have a couple of very scary things to go through, and until then, I want to take a holiday from bad things.

Sorry if you cant understand that. Each person's life is different. Such is what makes the world go round.

Mitch

 

[Leo tickles]

I understand that each person deals with things differently.

What I don't understand is living your life a certain way for many many years and complaining about it, all while doing nothing to change it.

 

[Mitchell]

I cant undo the past. I could say "I should have ended things with my ex best friend sooner" or.. "I never should have gone back with my father in 2009, given his history". I cant undo either of those things. All I can do now, is make sure never to be involved with either one again.

Once again, this thread shows me that I need to show restrain. Except for threads in regard to my mom's status.. no more personal threads about what people do to me. It seems to get turned around from what someone else said, into "Let's make everything Mitch's fault". That isnt productive in any way.

Mitch

 

[Leo tickles]

How much of it have you done to yourself is what I wanna know.

And THIS is never going to be productive. Track my thread history for proof. What HAS been, however, is changing my life. And whether or not people on here know it, it's better.

Isn't that the overarching goal?

 

[Jagermeistered]

I understand that each person deals with things differently.

What I don't understand is living your life a certain way for many many years and complaining about it, all while doing nothing to change it.

Independent persona versus dependent persona... Always, a pain in the ass... We are reading about personas from differential egalatarical upbringings!

 

[Mitchell]

Leo, I cant answer "How much of it have I done myself". I've never measured. Part of it is me, part of it is my mom, and part of it is circumstance/fate.

Hopefully once this thread goes away, I'll take the needed steps to change things, and not post about it.

Interesting how the topic of the thread of my being upset with what he said, turns into about Mitch. The thread is basically getting off topic, but whatever. Hopefully this thread will soon die, just like the other unwise ones I've posted in the past.

Mitch

 

[Leo tickles]

Leo, I cant answer "How much of it have I done myself". I've never measured. Part of it is me, part of it is my mom, and part of it is circumstance/fate.

Hopefully once this thread goes away, I'll take the needed steps to change things, and not post about it.

Interesting how the topic of the thread of my being upset with what he said, turns into about Mitch. The thread is basically getting off topic, but whatever. Hopefully this thread will soon die, just like the other unwise ones I've posted in the past.

Mitch

A meaningless thread shouldn't expire before you change your life for the better.

 

[GQguy]

Interesting how the topic of the thread of my being upset with what he said, turns into about Mitch. The thread is basically getting off topic, but whatever. Hopefully this thread will soon die, just like the other unwise ones I've posted in the past.

Mitch

The topic is still very much on topic in my opinion. I agree with Leo 100%

When people complain...people will ALWAYS try and help them solve their problem. Unless of course the problem has no real solution...then people will extend their condolences. But when people complain....and solutions are given...and solutions are ignored.... and the person still tries to put the blame elsewhere...well....people don't like that. People want to see things right. It's like a guy that keeps tripping over his shoelace and complaining that the shoelace is misbehaving. People help up the guy and try and teach him how to tie his shoes but he declines. People suggest he buy new shoes...he still declines. He trips and falls again on the shoelace...again he complains about the shoelace. How do you think those people feel about the guy that refuses to truly help himself? Frustrated right?

I'm ten lbs overweight myself...(by pilot ejection seat standards which disregards height 6'4") I'm buff(think defensive end) but I gained weight after my chest surgery two months ago. My waiver for minimal physical activity expires a month from now...yet I'm enrolled in a Navy water survival class because I didn't want to fall behind. Yesterday I nearly drowned taking in water into my lungs and stomach while in the deep end. 2 young enlisted guys saved me against the orders of the instructors who I also outrank. Talk about your worst fear being realized. And then I read your story about about your moms 73 year old driver upsetting you by asking about his work? I think to myself...how can this be avoided....Mitch needs to get driving! 10 lbs and High blood pressure is holding him back? I've never heard of a doc holding back a patient from driving because he's 10lbs overweight with high BP......piloting and airplane...maybe? People with diabetes 200lbs overweight and on dialysis still drive(i'm thinking about one of my gf clients...although she is always late).

My brother is 28 and lives at home and complains about mom and dad. Guess what I told him? Get your own car and move out. Problem solved. "I don't have a job big bro GQ" "I respond...I've cleaned toilets to pay for tuition...there are jobs out there" OR realize that you've chosen to live at home and accept everything that comes with it as your own doing. If I complained about my lawn mower being rude...what would people say? Move into an apartment GQ! Buy your own mower and do it yourself GQ! Or hire a new mower GQ! Or...stop complaining because you chose to live in a house with a lawn.....but of course people would prefer that I buy my own mower and do it myself....people respect "do it yourselfers".

I'm a motivator....I tell and try to empower others to do what they don't think is possible(like me telling myself to swim!) No one is making fun of you. Those guys are gone. We want see you succeed.

I see a bit of you in me and how I could be and that's what interest me in this thread. Hopefully you can look at this objectively.

GQ

 

[Mitchell]

The reason I dont want to go to the Dr when I'm 185 lbs, is that I would then have to see him every month, which I cant afford to do, as each visit to him is $100-125 a time, and I dont have insurance. I pay as I go.

I will deal with it. Right now I have another problem this morning. My mom isnt feeling well, and had another issue with my father, that I wont post about. That needs to be resolved first.

About the driver. Trust me, by the spring, unless a disaster happens, he will be gone.

I've solved many of my own problems. As I said before, most of the abusive people in my life are gone. This is the one last thing that needs to be taken care of. Once it is, I'll be on the right track.

Mitch

 

[Leo tickles]

I did that whole overpaying thing for a month. Then guess what I did? Found a doctor that is AWESOME for $40 bucks a visit. They are out there. You obviously have Internet, look them up.

Your mom not feeling well isn't something that you can control. Your daddy issues, after you both have practically disowned each other, are getting old.

You can get rid of all of the negative people in your life. Then, all you have is yourself.

Are you proud of what you have accomplished thus far in life?

 

[Mitchell]

Leo, please read what I'm saying. I didnt say.. "Overpaying for A MONTH. I said.. EVERY MONTH!

As for if I'm "proud" of what I've accomplished in life, I have unfulfilled goals, but so does everyone.

I dont have "Daddy Issues". I havent talked to him in almost a year and a half, save for the one shouting phone call over the summer. If one remembers my "Demonic Letter" thread from the summer, that got such attention, that was sent to MY MOM, NOT ME!

The replies to this thread are seriously pissing me off. It started as one thing, and turned into something totally different. All I care about now is to have quiet holidays, have my mom's scan come back clean, and then go on with life. Thats what I'm trying to do.

I'm done. Not with the forum. Just with this thread. When I'm ready, I'll post about the DMV, etc.

Unless something God Forbid unforeseen happens with my mom's health, my mom and I received news today, that allows us to stay calm until my mom's scan. News that I will not share publicly, as I dont want to drive this thread out of control even more. I intend to use that news.. to just chill.

Mitch

 

[Leo tickles]

I did read what you said. What I meant is that *I* over payed for a short time in my life until I found a new doctor, and I don't get why you can't do the same.

You not posting good news or bad doesn't effect me or anybody here. You posting that you have news that you won't post is like an adult dangling candy in front of a blind child. If the child could see, he'd care, but he can't, so he doesn't. That's a nice, albeit not 100% accurate way of saying I don't care.

You being pissed off and doing nothing to change it in regards to your life is irritating. Refer to GQ's shoelace example.

Do something besides stress yourself out or take a vacation from life, then all of your posts can be positive, or better yet, non existent because you will find enough validity in yourself to the point where TMF doesn't have to validate your actions or concerns for you to feel better when shit hits the fan.

 

[Mitchell]

Leo, I am doing something besides stress myself out.

You didnt understand what I meant about my seeing my doctor. I'm going to explain it, slowly..

Bottom line: As would happen with anyone who dealt with everything I did in the past year in a half, all by myself, I'm worn out from my mom's illness.

The thing with my not going to the doctor now isnt only about "overpaying". It's about my not wanting to hear "You're overweight, I have to see you every month". After such a long time of seemingly endless doctors and hospitals, I wanted a break from the doctor. I want to lose weight, so when I go to the Dr, he can sign my form, tell me I'm in good shape, and I dont have to worry. I'm working on losing weight. It will happen, in time. In the meantime, I need to concentrate on things that keep me stress free.

I'm sorry if my being pissed off is irritating. Tell you what, if I'm irritating you, dont read my posts then.

I have my plan as to what I'm going to do. Henceforth, I'm best off keeping whatever plans I have to myself.

Mitch

 

[Leo tickles]

I know somebody who's mom had cancer for much longer than you and your mom have been dealing with it. They're in school, with a job. What's your excuse? People deal with things differently?

Tell your doctor "no, I don't want to see you every month, you've given me the steps I need to take and I will take them to lose weight".... For fucks sake, this isn't rocket science, bud.

 

[Mitchell]

Leo, I''ve had time to really read and think about your post, and I've decided it's time for ignore for you. I'm fed up with your condescending posts like you know it all, and your talking to me as if I'm a child.

"Excuse". Tell you what, when you deal with what I've dealt with over the past 20 months, and for most of my life, you then have a right to judge me.

My posting bad news "Doesnt affect anybody here". So.. if I post. "God Forbid", that my mom dies, that wont affect you? Great.

I think your whole point of this thread is just to banter with me, and get the last word.

Post whatever you want. I seriously dont care anymore. You're a real together person, and I'm a fuck up. Tell you what, believe whatever you want. It's your America.

Mitch

 

[BellybTickler]

Perhaps. Perhaps not.

 

[Leo tickles]

I don't know it all. I don't even know what IT is yet. But what I do know that the things you are incapable of doing based off your posts are minuscule. Going to the DMV? Finding a new doctor or telling your doctor no? Common.

Your mom, sick or healthy doesn't effect me. I'll say that I'm happy that she's better, but there is no long lasting effect. It's your mom, it's your life. It's another person to me, and while I wish her the best, her health, your situation, or anything else in the world that anybody posts here will not make or break my day or life.

Some of the things you post are serious. Your mom being sick is serious. You continually avoiding things that need to be done in life is serious. It's the latter that pisses me off. I live by put up or shut up. *shrug*

But if you're going to ignore me and anybody with half of a point, k. I'll just say this, your mom is well and you live with her, yeah? When the day does come where she dies (and everybody does), what the fuck are you going to do if you spend all of your time now procrastinating life?

 

[Mitchell]

So, I took you off ignore. Here is my reply to you, Leo.

How is "Continually putting it off?". All I'm saying is.. I need a BREAK from doctors, etc, for A MONTH OR TWO. I never said forever. I'm trying to lose weight, and come back to myself, after one of the worst periods in my life. Even if I went to the Dr, and DMV.. "Tomorrow". I'd have to pass the test, buy a car, etc. Nothing important in life happens overnight.

What else have I "continually avoided", that needs to be done in life,, hmmm? I faced all the Drs, hospitals, illness of both my mom, and myself, all by myself. I was at the hospital for every visit, every test, every Dr meeting, etc. That's hardly "Avoiding". What needs to be done. If I avoided it, I wouldnt have shown up. My father is the one who is the "avoider". He vacates as soon as a problem develops. My aunt is the "avoider". She never came to the hospital for moral support, even once.

While I was in NJ, the doctors all had an interesting question for me. They said. "You need to support mom, as she has the illness. WHO is taking care of you, Mitch? The answer.. no one. because everyone bailed. My mom, who is a very objective person.,. knows this. Trust me, when I'm wrong, she tells me.

I'm well aware that my mom wont be around forever. Unless she God Forbid unexpectedly dies of a heart attack, stroke, or some fast growing cancer that reappears, whatever I have to accomplish, will be done LONG before she s gone.

You might not like what I have to say, but this is how it is. By spring, I expect my life to be completely different. I've irriatiacted the abusive people, now I just have to rebuild with better ones.

Mitch

 

[Leo tickles]

So, I took you off ignore. Here is my reply to you, Leo.

How is "Continually putting it off?". All I'm saying is.. I need a BREAK from doctors, etc, for A MONTH OR TWO. I never said forever. I'm trying to lose weight, and come back to myself, after one of the worst periods in my life. Even if I went to the Dr, and DMV.. "Tomorrow". I'd have to pass the test, buy a car, etc. Nothing important in life happens overnight.

What else have I "continually avoided", that needs to be done in life,, hmmm? I faced all the Drs, hospitals, illness of both my mom, and myself, all by myself. I was at the hospital for every visit, every test, every Dr meeting, etc. That's hardly "Avoiding". What needs to be done. If I avoided it, I wouldnt have shown up. My father is the one who is the "avoider". He vacates as soon as a problem develops. My aunt is the "avoider". She never came to the hospital for moral support, even once.

While I was in NJ, the doctors all had an interesting question for me. They said. "You need to support mom, as she has the illness. WHO is taking care of you, Mitch? The answer.. no one. because everyone bailed. My mom, who is a very objective person.,. knows this. Trust me, when I'm wrong, she tells me.

I'm well aware that my mom wont be around forever. Unless she God Forbid unexpectedly dies of a heart attack, stroke, or some fast growing cancer that reappears, whatever I have to accomplish, will be done LONG before she s gone.

You might not like what I have to say, but this is how it is. By spring, I expect my life to be completely different. I've irriatiacted the abusive people, now I just have to rebuild with better ones.

Mitch

In the order of the bold text:
1:How old are you? How many couple of months have you had?

2: True, but it doesn't make it okay to prolong and complain about it for years on end without doing a thing to change it.

3: Getting your own place, your drivers license, a car, your assistant, your daddy issues so nobody has to hear about them every other post, your insecurity and instant frustration when somebody isn't saying poor Mitch, your financial situation.... should I keep going?

4: You went to the hospital with your sick mom while everybody else was nowhere to be found. That's good, but you're not a saint for it. You did the right thing, nobody else did, good job. Quit belly aching about other people's actions. It sucks, fuck them, move on with your day and keep doing what you know you need to. Stop blaming your family (besides mom) for doing this or that.

5: You should be taking of you. It's not anybody else's problem. It'd be nice if it was, but it isn't. You don't take care of yourself, nobody else will. Fact.


Having a better life is a long term goal that I haven't come close to achieving. But I didn't say "it'd be better by spring, or by tomorrow". I said "it will be better now". And in some way, it was. And I'm still enjoying the ride.

 

[Mitchell]

Once again, you dont understand, Leo.

"Every other post". An exaggaration. The last post about something like this was in June.

"Quit belly aching about other's people's actions". K, I'll say "Thanks" to everyone who abandoned me.

Saying "It will be better now" would be an untrue statement. It is already better, because, to my knowledge, my mom is cancer free. Besides that, it is going to take time. That's reality.

Sports teams that rebuild after bad times, usually improve over time. Thats what I look at this as.

I personally think much of this is just criticism, and thats fine. When I accomplish it, I'll know. As to whether I'll post about it, that remains to be seen.

Mitch

 

[Snail Shell]

I just want to say Mitch, that a lot of what Leo is saying may be pissing you off because it's not what you want to hear.

It is, however, stuff you need to hear.

Take a deep breath and think about it.

SS

 

[Mitchell]

Just so everyone who thinks they know everything is aware:

I had a big argument last night with my mom about this very subject: When she gets upset, she gets asthma attacks. Such is what happened. She told me that she knows he's hateful, but that she cant do anything now.


I have an agreement with her: She has her next scan in January, and.. God Willing.. if all goes well. the driver goes then. I told her if she's okay, and doesnt live up to that agreemen, then I will be making some drastic changes.

That's all. People can think what they want. Many people who went through what I did in the past 21 months, wouldnt even be walking around. I'm beginning to feel better personally, and such, and plan to build on that.

Mitch

 

[coldneck]

Day-ham!

It's no wonder Mitch has high blood pressure.

Although he is getting solid advice from people who really seem to care, he's not accepting it because all he really wants to do is complain.

When he doesn't get the replies/support he craves, he slams the door on them (ignore), only to open it up again, because he can't help himself.

His friends want what they know is healthy for him: A career, independent living, transportation, a meaningful relationship (w/ someone besides his mother).
Mitch does not want that; he wants pity. He has "victim" written on his forehead.

Think about it. His friends are cheering him on, urging him to make some significant changes to his life. It's like pushing a worm.

Some people are impossible to motivate. They resist change.
Mitch is in his 40's, never married, no kids, no career, and has lived w/ his mother (excuse me, "roommate" ... haha, good one) his entire adult life.
This may sound harsh, but maybe it's time to quit beating a dead horse and accept reality.

 

[Mitchell]

Another attack post by "ahem" someone who means well. coldneck is really well meaning when he posts his attack.

Remember my tax problems that I posted about sometime back, cold, where I couldnt work or go to grad school, for TWELEVE YEARS. Then, I worked my ass off at other businesses, which didnt work. I never had a long job history to show employers.

I wasnt looking "for pity" when I posted this. What I did.. was to leave myself open to people like you for attack. None of what you posted in your post was to "mean well". It is.. "Let's take a guy who has a problem and heap more attack on him".

I love how the one subject about the comment for my mom's cancer, turns into this.. It isnt. "Let's talk about the fact that Mitch's assistant said something terrible. Its.. "Let;s attack Mitch".

To heck with it cold. Think what you want. I have my opinions about you too, but, since you arent worth my getting banned over, i wont post them.

This thread like others, will die.

Mitch

 

[Mitchell]

One other thing, cold.

You are really "Well meaning". I've posted many threads about my mom,, her health status, my seizure, and then the doctors telling us she is going to be fine., NEVER ONCE did I see you post anything like "Great Mitch, glad your mom's okay. Even though I discussed Leo's comments on here which i didnt agree with, he always posted wishing my mom welll. You? Your M.O. is.. "Let me wait until Mitch posts about something that is bad, and then I'll attack him. NOT MY INTERPRETATION, COLD, FACT!

Whatever, think what you want. I dont care. As I said, I have my opinions about you and your posts too.

Mitch