Do I Have A Right To Feel Like I Want To Blow A Gasket At This?

[GQguy]

I'm not sure if you see the trend but all of your personal threads go this way. Could it be that the ten or so people that care enough to post might be right?

Criticism isn't a bad thing when you can change things and grow. Saying "get a license"...good criticism. Saying "grow five inches"....bad criticism.

Of course the forum only knows what you tell us...and we only tell you what we think when you invite us to. Just like coldneck said.....beating a dead horse, many members just stay out of your threads now because their advice falls on deaf ears.

Next time you want to start a thread complaining about something...ask yourself " If I had or was working towards:

A career, independent living, transportation, a meaningful relationship (w/ someone besides his mother).

would I still be complaining about XYZ? If not........you won't get this kind of response.

It's tough for you to see but readily apparent for everyone else that this thread is not about your 73 year old assistant. It's about you and the amount of control you have over your own life. You complain....yet you choose this life with no change.

Let me sum up responses you'll get from the forum on various issues:

Your assistant: Get your own car/license
Dad: cut him off if he upsets you. Pay your own rent.
Women: Get a car/license/job/own place.
Mom: Get your own place.

That may sound harsh....but this is how the rest of us live our lives. It's not like we're being hypocrites...we practice what we preach! It's the same advice I give my own younger brother. He complains about things that stem from living at home...he complains about the symptoms of living with mom and dad. But he is reluctant to cure the disease...moving on his own and getting a job. I personally think my brother deep down doesn't want to leave home. That's why he shuts me off whenever I say he should...just like you put Leo on ignore.

I think everyone wants to see you succeed man. Damn! You're likely the only guy on the forum that could get a 3 page thread by just saying "I got a job, a license and my own apt". Who else can say the same thing and get as much love?

GQ

 

[Mitchell]

GQ.. you are one of the people who posted in this thread.., who I know isnt saying things to be mean. My point is.. This thread was about one topic.. my assistant's comment about my mom's cancer. It turned into a whole other thing.. a round about free for all.

To address your points in order.

Mom: When have I ever posted anything bad about her? Never. She's been an amazing parent, and I'm lucky to have her.

Dad: When was the last thread about him? The "Demonic Letter" thread, seven months ago? I havent posted a thing about him since. That's ancient history.

The topic of the thread was about the driver and his comment... nothing more.

I'm now seeing that the "off topic" rule is often subject to interpretation. If I saw a thread like this, my reaction would either be to post about the driver.. or let it pass.

I know you dont agree. This thread is one week old. Sometime it will die. Until then, whatever. After what I've been through, I can handle it, trust me.

Mitch

 

[Leo tickles]

GQ.. you are one of the people who posted in this thread.., who I know isnt saying things to be mean. My point is.. This thread was about one topic.. my assistant's comment about my mom's cancer. It turned into a whole other thing.. a round about free for all.

To address your points in order.

Mom: When have I ever posted anything bad about her? Never. She's been an amazing parent, and I'm lucky to have her.

Dad: When was the last thread about him? The "Demonic Letter" thread, seven months ago? I havent posted a thing about him since. That's ancient history.

The topic of the thread was about the driver and his comment... nothing more.

I'm now seeing that the "off topic" rule is often subject to interpretation. If I saw a thread like this, my reaction would either be to post about the driver.. or let it pass.

I know you dont agree. This thread is one week old. Sometime it will die. Until then, whatever. After what I've been through, I can handle it, trust me.

Mitch

Seriously buddy, seriously.

Just because you don't post a thread about your dad doesn't mean you don't talk about him. You mention him in so many posts. Many of your posts in OTHER threads include him.

Instead of focusing on this thread going away, focus on making the problems in your life outside of this place go away. Why is it so hard to accept that people may be right?

Look at my history for fucks sake. Half of the people here think I'm on drugs because of what I've posted, the other half are indifferent and don't even bother talking to me. That's one whole of a community who I told to go fuck themselves because my life was shit. Had I stopped and read for 1 minute what people on here tried to tell me 55 times over, I would probably be in better status with this place. There are, however, some that have PM'd me and told me they respect me for what I've done to correct the mistakes I made then.

The point is, do you WANT everybody to just ignore you and/or JUST make fun of you? You post the most personal shit ever here, as did I at one point, so that means this place is important to you. And this place means these people.

Work your way up and have the people you obviously care about be proud of you. More importantly, work your way up so YOU can be proud of you.

 

[Mitchell]

No, Leo, of course I dont want everyone to ignore me or make fun of me.

While I'll admit I've posted personal things on here, I dont think I talk about my father as much as you say. I've greatly altered my image here. I dont banter in the P and R anymore, dont post baseball stories any more, dont discuss my father, and dont pm every new girl asking her if shes stood barefoot on a ladder, so, I HAVE rehabilitated my image to a great degree.

I've even admitted my mistakes. I posted publicly how the mods almost banned me for the pming girl thing.

My mom thinks that the best way for me to function on here is to keep all personal business off the forum. While I know I have received support that I appreciate about her illness, other personal threads have gotten me into trouble.

I feel that some posts in this thread are well meaning, while I view others as being made to take issue.

The best way, keep all personal business off the forum, unless its something positive that people can say "Good job" about.

Maybe that view is not right. We'll see going forward.

Oh, and I just lost a GREAT story I was writing about a news staff tickle torturing each other. I'll have to post that one again, when I have the desire. I have a feeling it will be good.

Mitch

 

[Leo tickles]

No, Leo, of course I dont want everyone to ignore me or make fun of me.

While I'll admit I've posted personal things on here, I dont think I talk about my father as much as you say. I've greatly altered my image here. I dont banter in the P and R anymore, dont post baseball stories any more, dont discuss my father, and dont pm every new girl asking her if shes stood barefoot on a ladder, so, I HAVE rehabilitated my image to a great degree.

I've even admitted my mistakes. I posted publicly how the mods almost banned me for the pming girl thing.

My mom thinks that the best way for me to function on here is to keep all personal business off the forum. While I know I have received support that I appreciate about her illness, other personal threads have gotten me into trouble.

I feel that some posts in this thread are well meaning, while I view others as being made to take issue.

The best way, keep all personal business off the forum, unless its something positive that people can say "Good job" about.

Maybe that view is not right. We'll see going forward.

Oh, and I just lost a GREAT story I was writing about a news staff tickle torturing each other. I'll have to post that one again, when I have the desire. I have a feeling it will be good.

Mitch

In the order of the bold text yet again:

1: More than you think, probably less than I say. Point=still too much.

2: Your image here depends on what you say, not about the topic you post or don't post in.

3: Not creeping random chicks out is a positive thing. I haven't managed that one yet.

4: At your age, asking your mom how to function on a fetish forum on the Internet is amazing to me. I can appreciate wanting to be close with her and all but you need to figure out how to function without her input. If you can't do it here... just... life is harder, yeah?

5: You'll never keep the personal stuff off of this forum because..... maybe you can explain why. So instead of posting the answers to your problems and then not following them, don't talk about it, everybody knows you won't stop.

6: I have no idea what the fuck that has to do with the price of tea in China.

 

[Mitchell]

All I can do is show it by my actions. Its pointless to debate it.

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Just a question: if you're worried that if you go to the doctor you'll learn that you have high blood pressure because you're 10 pounds overweight, have you gone to, like, a Walmart or any pharmacy type store that has one of those blood pressure testing things or are you able to check your blood pressure on your own? That way you know before you go to the doctor if your BP is high?

 

[Mitchell]

Nemesis, thank you, and thats a great question. Here is my answer.

No, I havent gone to a pharmacy to check the BP, for this reason:

Even before I put the weight back on, the Dr advised me not to check BP at drugstores. He said that often those BP machines aren't accurate, and, may give me a high or inaccurate reading that might not be right. (I'm only stating what he said). He also never told me to check it inbetween visits, so I dont.

I'm working on losing the weight, and I will go to the Dr. Hopefully very soon.

Mitch

 

[ali32]

Just some random input...it certainly seems like the OP has been through a lot over the last little while, but guess what? Billions of people all over the world are also going through bad/difficult times. It's a part of life, unfortunately, and the rest of us have to struggle though working, paying the bills, caring for family members etc etc when these things happen.

Hopefully, this is just some food for thought, and might provide a bit of perspective?

Ali32

 

[Mitchell]

Ali, your post reminds me of someone who broke up what used to be a very important relationship in my life. "It happens to a lot of people" is exactly what ex my best friend's mother used to say. She would say such things and be not understanding to others problems, yet would want extreme understanding for herself.

Interesting how you never posted anything supportive when my mom was going through cancer treatment, but now in this thread its "You've had a hard time, but it happens to a lot of people". Each situation and circumstance is unique. "A lot of people" dont have to live away from home for months on end for their mothers to get proper cancer treatment, and then almost die themselves, as I did this summer. If such had happened in your life, to someone you really care about, you might not be so caviler, nor might you appreciate someone who posted with that perspective.

A bit of food for thought.

Mitch

 

[ali32]

As I said...it was random...take it or leave it...I'm cool either way.

Ali32

 

[Mitchell]

I choose to leave it.. because.. as I stated before.. the intent behind it was not well meaning. If the post was by someone who had been supportive during my mom's situation, I would have taken it that way, as like a.. "Get into perspective type post"., Your post was not intended that way.

Mitch

 

[coldneck]

One other thing, cold.
I've posted many threads about my mom,, her health status, my seizure, and then the doctors telling us she is going to be fine., NEVER ONCE did I see you post anything like "Great Mitch, glad your mom's okay.

Mitch

So you're keeping score?!?

If I don't comment about your Mom's cancer then I either don't care or wish her dead?!?

WoW! You are obviously doing this to draw attention to yourself.

I hope you're enjoying the drama, because someday soon you are going to find yourself alone and destitute.

For what it's worth, no one like a chronic complainer.

 

[Mitchell]

cold, I dont enjoy the drama. I realize I made a mistake by posting this thread. Those who care about me in real life have told me that.

As for your prediction that I wll end up alone and destitute, it is evil. Perhaps what you predicted for me, will come back to you.

 

[kis123]

cold, I dont enjoy the drama. I realize I made a mistake by posting this thread. Those who care about me in real life have told me that.

As for your prediction that I wll end up alone and destitute, it is evil. Perhaps what you predicted for me, will come back to you.

Just stop it Mitch! Stop with the fighting already!

I've been lurking this thread to see where it was going to go and unfortunately I was right in my assessment it was headed towards the abyss.

If you're right, why bother defending yourself? Am I going to have to make you turn in your Aquarius card? If you're right, then just do it; just do "it" and deal with the outcome of the decision. It's called adulthood Mitch and I'm wondering why you even bothered to create this thread considering the circumstances of your OP.

That old man has the right to his opinion as you do to disagree with it. He's your mother's employer, not yours so you don't get to dictate his outcome. If you really hated him that much, I would've gotten the drivers license issues squared away a long time ago; you only have yourself to blame on that one.

As far as others giving dissenting opinions and even dissing' you are concerned, my answer to this is.....

SO WHAT!!

So what they don't agree with you? It's your situation and you're going to handle it as you choose anyway.

So what they're throwing accusations at you (and unfortunately some of them are true....sometimes blunt and crass....but true). So what?? They're entitled to their opinion and you opened the door by creating this thread anyway. Your threads attract dissenters anyway so if you don't want dissent don't make the thread. Focus on your mother's recovery as well as yours; when she gets well and strong, where will your life be? Will it be a life that finally comes independent with a career and possibly love in the horizon or will it be the same intertwined borderline codependent relationship we've been reading about for years and everyone sees for what it is but you?

That's what many have been saying to you Mitch and you REFUSE to see, accept, or deal with the fact that you have spent your entire life unhealthily intertwined with your mother because she can't let you go and have a life a man should have. I've had to deal with that and it ruined an otherwise good relationship because there is nothing attractive about middle aged mammas boys in kis' world. And no, I am NOT calling you any names, but if you don't change in a hurry, that's what women will be calling you. No woman wants to find herself competing with her man's mother........EVER!

Believe it or not many on this very thread are trying to help you but because it doesn't come dressed up in a ribbon and bow and isn't pretty and palatable for you, you reject it and get in argument mode. Go ahead and remain in denial Mitch and ten years from now you'll be in the exact same miserable place you've been in except you'll be 10 years older.

I care enough about you to tell you to live better than that and that your mother will do just fine if she allows her only child to grow up, cut the cord, and leave the nest. It's time for you to do the responsible and mature thing and I hope against hope that you start to do it. If not you'll continue to make these threads and fight the very ones who are trying to help you.

 

[Mitchell]

kis, I know you mean well, and I thank you for your post, and your caring.

Actually the old man works for us, not the other way around.. but.

I realize that I opened myself up to what happened in this thread. I dont often tell, my mom things that go on here, but I told her about this. Know what? She didnt feel sorry for me. She said. "You asked for it. You shouldnt have posted your personal business there".

As for the opinions you mentioned: I know who posted who means well. (You, and a few others), and who doesnt. I know that fighting solves nothing. Hopefully, this thread will disappear, at some point, and then things will calm down for me.

Again, I thank you for your concern, and I know what I have to do.

Take care,
Mitch

 

[kis123]

kis, I know you mean well, and I thank you for your post, and your caring.

Actually the old man works for us, not the other way around.. but.

I realize that I opened myself up to what happened in this thread. I dont often tell, my mom things that go on here, but I told her about this. Know what? She didnt feel sorry for me. She said. "You asked for it. You shouldnt have posted your personal business there".

As for the opinions you mentioned: I know who posted who means well. (You, and a few others), and who doesnt. I know that fighting solves nothing. Hopefully, this thread will disappear, at some point, and then things will calm down for me.

Again, I thank you for your concern, and I know what I have to do.

Take care,
Mitch

Well knowing what you have to do and actually doing it are two separate issues. You've known what you needed to do for years; my wish is that you do it. The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step; if you don't get to steppin' now, when will you?

I'm not going to make this thread any worse for you than it already is. I just wanted you to know that even though I care about you and wish your best outcomes doesn't mean I can sit back and allow you to keep doing as you've always done. If it worked you'd be in a better position than you currently are.

I wish you well and bid you peace but my greatest hope is that six months to a year from now, your story dramatically changes and I can help you celebrate some success for a change.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks, kis. Again, I appreciate it. I know what I have to do, and will do it. Trust me, six months to a year from now, I plan on things being infinitely better.

Mitch

 

[Angel77]

Hey Mitch,

Me personally? I don't think that him asking that was a big deal. My mother had chemo and all kinds of treatments for eight years and people asked about her treatment all of the time (how many, what kind, how long, etc., even when she was in remission). I never really thought about it to be honest as those weren't death wishes for her - they were simply legit questions that get asked when someone has battled/is battling cancer. Whether or not someone mentioned her treatment had no effect on whether or not I thought about it - I thought about it all of the time on my own.

Trust me, I understand what it's like to try and care for a very sick parent. I did that for eight years for both parents at the same time. My mother was battling cancer while my father became crippled in an accident a few years back. He's been in and out of the hospital for surgeries, infections, complications, etc. Now he had that massive heart attack earlier this year with the quintuple bypass and now has Congestive Heart Failure. He more than likely has but a few years left with us. Appointments, visiting them daily whether it was at their home or much more likely - the hospital, taking care of things at the house, their pet, E.R. trips at 3am and still going into work in the morning, their bills, shopping, laundry, you name it. And while working a full time job on top of it. So yes, I understand how trying it can be but you know what? I have no regrets. It's just what you do for your family. My mother did lose her battle with cancer a couple of years ago but my father is still with us by the grace of God. And when he needs something, you bet your dupa I'm there for him. As he would be with me.

It's hard to be asked things that may make you think of "stuff." I get that.

Hell, if I haven't seen someone in a while and see them out and about, I'll still get asked how her treatment is going.

Now that's never fun to try and explain...

 

[Mitchell]

Angel, first let me say that I'm very sorry about your mom;s passing, and your dad's battle with heart failure.

I can see what you're saying about my assistant asking not being that big of a deal. My problem.. I guess.. was several things. The history with him, where he has said truly vicious things to me.., not to mention the fact that my mom was told by our doctors to go home, and not think about cancer. To me, asking if more treatment is required is bringing something unpleasant to the forefront. Privately, if I even ask my mom about her next Dr's appt, etc, she gets pissed, and tells me she doesnt want to think about it until that day, etc. I see her point.

I also understand what you said about people asking about your parents health.

You're a very kind person, and have always been kind to me. I appreciate that, and know you mean well.

Maybe its me. The whole history with this guy has me thinking.

As I mentioned previously, my mom is not happy with me, both about my reaction to him, as well as my posting it here.

Hopefully, this discussion wont go on much longer.

Take it easy, Angel, and thanks again,
Mitch

 

[Leo tickles]

I give up.

 

[TropicThunder]

I give up.

 

[Mitchell]

I'm going to post this with a disclaimer that this will be my last post in this thread, no matter what, even if the thread goes on for another week, although I hope it wont go on that long.

More important than who said what in this thread, and who I agree with.. or dont agree with. I think I came down to the very bottom line in my own personality of WHY I posted this thread, and the other one in the summer that got me in trouble. I once had a professor that said.. "If you dont know why, you dont know anything".

Bottom line.. validation. I think I needed to hear a bunch of people say "Mitch, you're right, the guy is a scumbag", because.. in situations that were abusive in my life.. that have been important, I've been invalidated

My ex best friend;s mother used to say the most rotten things, the most vicious lies, and he never stood up for our 30 year friendship. He just listened to her, and allowed our friendship to be ended because of her,and the vicious lies she said about me.

Everyone who accepts my father even though we are estranged, like its okay. No one ever called me to say "Mitch, why are the two of you estranged, how can we help?" These are people, cousins, friends of my fathers whose families I knew for a lifetime,, etc, whose triumphs and tradegies I put my life on hold for,, like when my father's friends parents passed away, I put Sundays on hold to show up at their funerals, to be there with Dad. Then.. when I had my estrangement from him.. friends who had known me and my family for a lifetime, and my own cousins in his family, never tried to help with my tradegy with him, to find out why we were estranged, and to do anything to help with the estrangement.

My mom: The assistant is the only thing we fight about. She'll say "He's scum", but still keep him, and fight with me about him. She invalidated me about that, even though he has said the most vicious things to me, about my work, girls I've wanted to be with, etc etc.

Okay, so I've gotten down to the very bottom line of WHY I posted the thread. I know. I needed to hear a bunch of people say "Mitch, you're right, he's scum", It would have made me feel validated.

While some people were helpful and supportive.. others used it to post comments that I believe were not well meaning, and that I left myself open to attacks. I actually did something that was counterproductive to what I was trying to accomplish.

Now I know the "Why". What I have to do, is change my actions, and not post things like this here. This is the second time in less than six months that a thread like this has gotten me into trouble. The first time.. I didnt know what the reaction would be. The second time, thats my fault for posting a thread like this.

Henceforth, if I have something like this to say, I'm best off discussing it with the few friends in PM who know and understand my frustration with this guy, and where it wont cause free for alls like this. As infuriated as I am with what he said, a thread like this, that goes on this long, with bantering back and forth, is ten times worse.

So, thats all. Why.

This is my last post in this thread. Hopefully it will fade away.

Mitch

 

[Barney Stubble]

So...let's some up the talking points, shall we?

1) Somebody asking if your mother is going to need more treatment is grounds for an ass-kicking.

2) One must be in picture perfect health to get a drivers license in Pennsylvania.

3) Anybody disagreeing with Mitchell or offering advice contrary to what he wants to hear can only do that by not knowing Mitchell's history. After all, we all know how reluctant Mitchell is about discussing his personal life online here.

4) Mitchell wants this thread to die, despite the fact that he started it himself, and despite the inevitability of future similar threads from him.

Okay, I think that covers it.