Do men like smart women?

[Mastertank1]

At the risk of sounding insufferably arrogant....

Here on TMF is the first place I've encountered a bunch of people who are my equals or better mentally since Greenwich Village in the 1960s, and frankly, I love it!!
I haven't gotten this much intellectual stimulation in decades!
While I want a woman I'm in a relationship with to be a sub/'lee in scene play, private or group, I love it if she's my equal in every other aspect of our lives together.
I'm not saying on an identical level in everything, that's impossible, but there'll be some areas she knows better than I do, some I know better than she does, some we share equally.
I keep thinking of the reltionship my parents had; they completely respected each other's areas of superior knowledge/intelligence.
Dad would decide what make and model of something we were gonna buy, Mom would walk into the store and haggle the price down to lower than Dad would have even thought to ask for! It was cool to watch. Also, when they disagreed about something, it wasn't 'I'm right and you're wrong' , it was okay, what does each of us see about this matter that the other doesn't. I watched that process dozens of times. They'd end up agreeing, 99 times out of a hundred.
I could never be interested in a woman on a lower intellectual level.
One thing that bugs me is how many smart women don't give themselves credit for how smart they are, because insecure men have belittled them so much in their lives.
There are a couple of ladies here I've been PMing with a lot who know I mean them when I say that. You are So much smarter than you think you are.
Mastertank1

We who play and dance are thought mad by they who hear no music.

 

[TicklishLurker]

One thing that bugs me is how many smart women don't give themselves credit for how smart they are, because insecure men have belittled them so much in their lives.

That just brings up a whole other subject that maybe should be in a thread of it's own. But it's hard to believe possitive things about yourself when all you've heard is negitive. Plus the negitive is easier to remember.

 

[scorpionldr]

smart, yes. bitch, no

I like a girl who's smart, or equal to me in intelligence, but if she's a smartass and always tries to start an argument, then I would rather eat dirt

 

[chicago]

I sense some hostility, scorpion.

Besides, smart asses can be fun.

 

[CaptainQuantum]

Mmm - I have no paitence for men who are dumber then me. They irritate me and make me want to yell at them. So I wouldn't tone it down, but I would tell them to get the hell away from me. I like a man my equal or smarter, just like I prefer them older then me.

As a stupid male, I am deeply hurt and offended. And I would say something very witty and cutting right now, but I'm too stupid to think of anything. Lucky for you! 😡

 

[Mastertank1]

Consider the source

That just brings up a whole other subject that maybe should be in a thread of it's own. But it's hard to believe possitive things about yourself when all you've heard is negitive. Plus the negitive is easier to remember.

One honest positive assessment from an intelligent person has more actual value than 1000 negative statements made by jealous idiots trying to cover up their own inferiority.
I know it's hard tp internalize that, but it's worth the effort; it gives you a defense against meaningless spite while still leaving you open to well earned praise.
Mastertank1

We who play and dance are thought mad by they who hear no music.

 

[Mz Chaos]

Wow... funny you mentioned this.

I confess... intelligence is a definite turn on. I love intelligent conversations on wide varieties of subjects and enjoy learning new things from the conversations I have.

It's strange how I overlook this when brain flatulence gets thick.

That being said...

I was married to a man who could do math problems in his head faster then I could on a calculator. He was a Corporal in the Marine Corps. He recieved an honerable discharge after one tour. After his discharge, I went with him to various places and sat while he filled out applications. At one place in the first application, he stopped. I peeked over. He had gotten to the "Previous Employer's" section. He leans over toward me and says... and I wish I was making this up... "How do you spell 'Marine?'"
Oh... it gets worse.
The next one I tried to make a go with was an egotistical control freak. He couldn't pass a shiny surface without whipping out his comb to make sure every hair was in place. Fancied himself an inventor. Was going to design a nifty new hang glider with a revolutionary design, and had NEVER used one (It resembled the "ready to be assembled" balsa wood planes in a bag). We were at my mother's house... she brings out the Scrabble game, pad and pencil, and the old tattered dictionary. There we sat... studying the wooden tiles before us trying to make the best possible word out of letters that only made sense in a Klingon Dictionary. My mom has laid her word down... it's now his turn. He reaches out and puts his tiles down. Wow! Check that out! A "W" and the "Z!" Big scores! I got up and looked at him and said "No Way! I am not going to play with some one who can screw up a simple three letter word!" He had spelled the word "was" = wuz.
Oh... don't leave yet folks... the best is yet to come.
The last... the "WhatinthehellwasIthinking?"... this one... didn't have the intelligence of an empty peanut husk. The total IQ of a room would plummet when he walked in. Every time he would open his mouth to speak , I would cringe... I just knew a whole lotta stupid was just gonna come pouring out. I was never disappointed... or surprised. This one's name was Mike. He had been known as Mike for years. That's what he wrote on his checks. Mike. One time, as he filled out a form, I had to spell out his first name of M-I-C-H-A-E-L, because he had forgotten how to spell the longer proper name.
I kept kissing princes and getting toads.
I do believe, I'll answer your question with this... this go around... the man had better have not only intelligence, but also a whole lotta common sense. I am even thinking of devising a spelling test...

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

I don't mind a smart woman although I do hate a know-it-all, but gender has nothing to do with that. If she needs to show off her intelligence by playing my teacher all the time then she has lost me because she needs to "dumb ME down." If she is likes her profession and enjoys talking about it is fine and fun for me to learn but when she starts correcting everything about me; that is when I have to wonder why she is with me. Is it because she likes to feel superior? There are some things I excell at and I certainly wouldn't want her to feel dumb in my presence. I am not one of those guys that needs to show off either. I think your question is do MEN like smart woman..yes men do, boys don't.

However, a woman who is too much of a airhead can get on my nerves because they tend to be a bit imature or they have relied on thier looks so much in life that they haven't done anything else to increase their wisdom. I can't have a conversation with someone that thinks "chicken of the sea" is chicken. I don't care how hot they are. I'll tell them just sit there...be hot..and don't speak. You are just eye candy, that's all. A 3-D playboy magazine. ssshhhhh you hurt my head when you talk. I'll be over here talking with the woman that has something important to say.

I treat a woman as smart as they portray themselves to their merit. So some sort of intelligence can be a turn-on for me.

 

[Tamia78]

Okay, I know I prefer a man with common sense. If he's intelligent, that's a plus. If he can hold a great conversation with me, that even better. That doesn't mean that all the men I date have to have a PhD or anything. I consider myself a decently intelligent human being, but there's alot of things I don't know, and I'm not ashamed to admit that. The great thing about having someone who's smart is that you can learn alot if you're willing to be open about it. But it does seem that alot of men just like the eye-candy aspect of a woman, and doesn't care that she can do quantum physics in her head, lol. Like alot of you, I don't like a know-it-all, but I don't know if I can be with someone who can't count to 20 without taking off his shoes, either.

--T

 

[new2sceenbob]

I do

I'm an intelligent man, and I prefer a woman that I can talk to on my own level.

Sincerely,
Bob

 

[CaptainQuantum]

To the men:
Do most of you like women (either just friends or a female partner) who are smarter (intellectually, emotionally, socially, etc) than you? Or would you feel too intimidated and rather her look up to your intellectual abilities.

I was looking at this first post again, and noticed that suprticklishgrl included emotional and social intelligence, not just intellectual. I don't really care how booksmart a woman is, how many facts and figures she knows or what kind of degrees she has. I like a woman who seems to know a lot about life, who carries herself with confidence (without being obnoxious about it). I find confidence in a woman to be very sexy. A woman who is strong-willed and spunky (again without being obnoxious) is the sexiest thing on earth to me.

Sure it doesnt hurt if she's cute and fun and giggly etc. But its that more serious subdued side of her that drives me wild. Thats the kind of woman I could talk to for hours and never get bored.

 

[ViperGTS]

I agree with MasterTank

And, like MasterTank said, at the risk of sounding ridiculously arrogant...

It seems nearly impossible to find a woman who is on the same mental level as I am without her being a stuck up, self-fulfilled bitch.

I am only nineteen, and I know I have alot to learn, but so the my peers, and 99% of them are no where near my intelligence level. I was brought up to fend for myself half of the time, and as a result, I know how the world works and I have been told by countless "adults" since I was very young that my mental development is advanced far beyond my years. I've seen more, done more, and experienced more than anyone else I know my age, and I have met extremely few that are even up to 25 years old who are wiser than I am.

*puts his Flame Retardant suit on*

You have no idea how hard it is to find someone who I can talk to and be involved in a very intelligent conversation. I'm usually the one who's doing all the talking.

 

[lightninbug]

SMART PEOPLE in gerneral

Not in the LEAST afraid of a woman who's smarter than I am; I'd just as soon vote for that.

After the passion of the initial meeting, after the whirlwind romance sweeps you off your respective feet, AFTER that 1st night of incredible sex where All 8 cylinders are up & going...After ALL that, It's really nice to have someone who you can TALK to as you hold each other tight, listening to the steady rain outside or watching as the sun peeps thru the window.

It REALLY Helps to be able to start AND HOLD a conversation...
...After the Merry-Go-Round shuts down for the night, When you're @ the Parents House, Surrounded by His/Her Friends at a dinner party OR a night on the town, OR over scrambled eggs & bagles the next day.

There comes a time when talking is ALL you've got; in small stretches of time
where the passion would be out of place & public decorum demands a more sedate mode of expresion. The chance to show off the person you've chosen as the ONE & ONLY makes the deal so much more sealed when there is a raport.

That's when the smile gets a little wider as they answer a question directed @ you; they KNOW You well enough to do that.

Pay Attention & Tell the TRUTH.

BUG

 

[lightninbug]

P.s.

I was sick at heart when I glanced at the above page & discovered that SPIDERMAN was killed by a Gigantic House Cat.............
Bummer

BUG

 

[Mz Chaos]

Not in the LEAST afraid of a woman who's smarter than I am; I'd just as soon vote for that.

After the passion of the initial meeting, after the whirlwind romance sweeps you off your respective feet, AFTER that 1st night of incredible sex where All 8 cylinders are up & going...After ALL that, It's really nice to have someone who you can TALK to as you hold each other tight, listening to the steady rain outside or watching as the sun peeps thru the window.

It REALLY Helps to be able to start AND HOLD a conversation...
...After the Merry-Go-Round shuts down for the night, When you're @ the Parents House, Surrounded by His/Her Friends at a dinner party OR a night on the town, OR over scrambled eggs & bagles the next day.

There comes a time when talking is ALL you've got; in small stretches of time
where the passion would be out of place & public decorum demands a more sedate mode of expresion. The chance to show off the person you've chosen as the ONE & ONLY makes the deal so much more sealed when there is a raport.

That's when the smile gets a little wider as they answer a question directed @ you; they KNOW You well enough to do that.

Pay Attention & Tell the TRUTH.

BUG

WOW!

 

[tulipangel]

To the men:
Do most of you like women (either just friends or a female partner) who are smarter (intellectually, emotionally, socially, etc) than you? Or would you feel too intimidated and rather her look up to your intellectual abilities.

To the women:
Do you feel like you have to "tone it down" and sink down a level if he's not as intelligent as you are? Or would you rather pursue your own growth of knowledge to the best of your abilities and surpass him?

Ok, I asked my BF and he said he likes that im not the brightest crayon in the box... He never says Im dumb. He said that he likes that I don't know a lot of stuff cause it makes him feel like I need him.

I love smart men! If a guy is smarter then me i love it! Something about having a guy teach me things is sexy... Like my BF knows more about wine then any one I have ever met! I love that! Its hot! When he talks about wine i get sooooo hot! its soooooo sexy 🙂

 

[aun_existe_amor]

When I talk to a man I'm attracted to I always act thick. I don't know why I do it, it just happens. The men leave the conversation believing that I am the most stupid person on earth. I wish I didn't do it but I just can't stop myself.

 

[suprticklishgrl]

drawing out the discussion

Ok, I asked my BF and he said he likes that im not the brightest crayon in the box... He never says Im dumb. He said that he likes that I don't know a lot of stuff cause it makes him feel like I need him.

I love smart men! If a guy is smarter then me i love it! Something about having a guy teach me things is sexy... Like my BF knows more about wine then any one I have ever met! I love that! Its hot! When he talks about wine i get sooooo hot! its soooooo sexy 🙂

i know what you mean tulip. it's fun learning new things and being at the receiving end of knowledge.

and i'm actually going to throw out an accusation (though lightly and with the good friendly spirit of discussion) that most guys who've replied here and who say they're attracted to women who are more intelligent - are lying to some extent. it's a double standard to believe that men and women should be on equal playing fields in intelligence (which translates over to the workplace) AND keep that glass ceiling from allowing too many females to become corporate executives and such. i could cite experimental evidence, but don't feel like getting out my notes right now.

so go ahead and respond. (and feel free to respond angrily as well) i just wanna open the discussion up more and get some more truth revealed.

 

[terorizer]

I'm gonna try and give answers to all the questions that were both posted and created in my head while reading the answers.

1) I'm attracted to intelligent women. Period. I've almost had to turn in my guy card on many accounts because of this. I can go there visually and be as attracted as the next guy to a body or a face... but if that mouth opens and dumb things come out or you can literally look in the eyes and see wide open spaces.... forget it!! I went out once with a gal I found extremely attractive...and on top of that she was ticklish and seemed to like it. So we go out to dinner and after the small talk ends, I began to realize there was a rather low ceiling on her intellect. So I just lost interest all together.

2) A PHD or Supreme Court Justice doesn't intimidate me. I mean the sum total of a person is not an aptitude, formal education, informal education or social grace. At the end of the day, you still must deal with people on a human level. Some humans relate to each other better than others. I know absolutely brilliant women who relate to me quite well....and then there are women who are intelligent, but with whom I don't have much in common. I'd much rather date a brilliant woman. Superior intelligence isn't an obstacle, or really even obvious if the rapport is there. I guess I just don't equate superior knowledge/intelligence with being a superior person. I just think of it as a skill I don't have. I can't play guitar like B.B. King, but I'd jam with him everyday if given the opportunity.... well for the purposes of this topic, replace B.B. with Bonnie Raitt.

3) I don't think it's a double standard to want men and women on equal playing fields when it comes to intelligence... in the workplace or anywhere else. At work my incentive compensation is directly related to goal achievement, which in turn is directly related to the plan formulated for me by my boss. I don't care if it's a man or a woman, but I want someone who gives me the best chance to get the biggest bonus...and that's likely to be the more intelligent person - all things being equal.

Likewise, if I have to get medical care... say some procedure, I can only hope there wasn't a double standard in med school that left me with some chief of surgery who isn't as capable as a woman he may supervise.

I think I responded to everything... cool topic!

 

[Ticklerguy4u]

When I talk to a man I'm attracted to I always act thick. I don't know why I do it, it just happens. The men leave the conversation believing that I am the most stupid person on earth. I wish I didn't do it but I just can't stop myself.

I think its because you are attracted to him. When a guy meets a girl he is a attracted too he usually boasts and brags to impress her. When a girl meets a guy she is attracted to she tries everything in her power to be unthreatening to his ego. Not everyone does it but it's society's impact on the courting ritual of dating.

 

[Coffee]

I love the woman i am involved with to be smarter then me in most cases. I always seems to learn so much from them.

 

[lightninbug]

-WOW- right back atcha, 'Mz. C'...

WOW!

I have enjoyed reading your posts because you almost ALWAYS have more than a kernel of Truth, Wit, Wisdom AND/OR Enlightenment to keep a reader's interest; ( & I always await the next one, Mz.C), it's a skill that some people have polished to a bright sheen.

Seems like some out there are consistantly capturing my attention with their words & reason; and 3/4 of there people are the Ladies!!

That's not to deny
such Luminaries as Venray, Ignatz, TTD, Knox etc. It's just that The Ladies of this forum are so dead on target and use a humor & grace that sometimes makes one so willingly surrender to their POV.
The Happy Abandon of a Tickleshotel, The Playfulness of a Ticklee 73,
The Wide-eyed Innocence of an Isabeau or the Honesty of a Ticklekitten,
The Wisdom of Minerva as demonstrated by a Mimi or a TklDuo-Ann, a Steph or a Mz Chaos...as a matter of Fact; ALL the ladies.

Gentlemen of the TMF...we have such Wonderful Guides & Teachers in these Women. ..each & Every ONE OF EM.

Student-What did you do before you attained enlightenment?
Master- I Chopped Wood & Carried Water.
Student- And What do you do NOW, Master?
Master- I Chop Wood & Carry Water

Bug

 

[Ignatz]

Not in the LEAST afraid of a woman who's smarter than I am; I'd just as soon vote for that.

After the passion of the initial meeting, after the whirlwind romance sweeps you off your respective feet, AFTER that 1st night of incredible sex where All 8 cylinders are up & going...After ALL that, It's really nice to have someone who you can TALK to as you hold each other tight, listening to the steady rain outside or watching as the sun peeps thru the window.

It REALLY Helps to be able to start AND HOLD a conversation...
...After the Merry-Go-Round shuts down for the night, When you're @ the Parents House, Surrounded by His/Her Friends at a dinner party OR a night on the town, OR over scrambled eggs & bagles the next day.

There comes a time when talking is ALL you've got; in small stretches of time
where the passion would be out of place & public decorum demands a more sedate mode of expresion. The chance to show off the person you've chosen as the ONE & ONLY makes the deal so much more sealed when there is a raport.

That's when the smile gets a little wider as they answer a question directed @ you; they KNOW You well enough to do that.

Pay Attention & Tell the TRUTH.

BUG

Bug, ol' buddy, ol' partner, ol' pal...that may be the wisest, most moving statement I've seen posted by anybody on this forum...at any time, on any subject.

 

[isabeau]

The Wide-eyed Innocence of an Isabeau

Bug

thank you buggy i think... and the innocence isnt fake sighs.. to get back to the question at hand. yes i know my husband prefers an intelligent female. we are equal in our intelligence, each of us excels in different areas, which makes for interesting conversation. he does accuse me of having no common sense , and he is right.

isabeau

 

[Cav88]

I'd like to know how women some how got the impression we like stupid women.