does tickling have to be sexual?

[simulated]

I didn't assume anything. I am telling you what goes on at our gatherings. We deal with things in a classy manner.

Frankly, I doubt my gatherings are any different than your gatherings. I go to gatherings because I enjoy spending time with the people there, and its good for me to reaffirm that yes, there are normal, interesting people who enjoy tickling like I do. Plus, its one of the few places where you can tickle the same person for an hour without them giving you the 'wtf?' face 😛

As far as you Lindy: Maybe everyone would have a better time at your gatherings. But then again, the last thing I want to do is to change the sheets after everyone has left because because twelve couples were in the same bed. So if that is what you consider a better time then you are right. Your parties are more fun. But I will stick with the classy people who don't feel the need to have sex to have a good time.

Who said anything about rampant debauchery? I'm simply talking about an environment where people are open with the sexual aspect of the activity. You seem to be equating this with people fornicating in the bedrooms, which is exactly the kind of black and white thinking that causes people to repress these emotions.

I remember a few nights back I was chatting with some of my very close friends. We were discussing relationship issues when someone mentioned a study with findings along the lines of "the only reason people maintain relationships with the opposite sex is because they are sexually attracted in some way to them." To me this seems a logical evolutionary result - the purpose of life is to create more life, etc etc. We sat there contemplating this for a second, and someone says "Yea, I'd have sex with dave." In reply "sure, I'd have sex with you." "Sex with John might be awkward though, because I'm short and he's tall 😛"

I'm never, ever going to sleep with this woman, and she would never sleep with me, for many reasons. However, the feeling is always going to subconciously be there. I don't see why its so difficult to simply acknowledge these feelings, be open with them, and move on.

Furthermore, this is twice you've made mention of class in your post. I take offense at this attack on both lindyhopper's character and my own. While I obviously can't vouch for myself, and at risk of sounding trite, lindyhopper is a kind, welcoming, funny, classy woman, and I'm sure anyone who has met her will echo those sentiments.

 

[Icycle]

By now the offending post has been deleted, but the offensive part is still preserved in quotebacks from Bagelfather and simulated. I really don't appreciate the slander against my wife LindyHopper and the West Coast gatherings, and I think LindyHopper and Bagelfather desire a proper apology.

Just because we are open and accepting of our sexual feelings at gatherings here doesn't mean we are hosting wild orgies. Nobody has sex at our gatherings. And if the sheets need to be changed, it's because our lees are sweating from the intense tickling they are recieving from the attentive lers. Our gatherings are both fun and classy, and until you attend one, I don't think you have the right to say otherwise.

 

[LindyHopper]

Okey dokey. 🙂 For those of you who are having trouble following along (which, by now, should be all of you ), let me explain (no, that would take too long... let me sum up 😉).

Ticklingfeet4fu said some not very nice things about me and the gatherings that Bagelfather and I host. Bagelfather went off on him for the unjustified personal attack (he also went off on some other things - if you're not in our gatherings scene and don't know what he's talking about, you shouldn't worry about it). Simulated got "pissed on" for some combination of a) expressing his comfort with sexual energy at gatherings, and b) just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. In any case, I'm incredibly glad to know that I have such good friends who will stand by me when some stranger threatens my "good" name.

ANYway... it seems that Ticklingfeet4fu has decided to delete his offensive remarks rather than apologize for them, and I suppose that's fine. But in case anyone's come away with the notion that the West Coast Gatherings are depraved sex parties, I'd like to nip that in the bud right now. I don't know who he's been talking to (well, actually I might have some idea 🙄 ), but he's never been to one of our events. The fact that some of us feel comfortable acknowledging our sexual relationship to tickling doesn't mean that things are raging out of control. Nobody has sex at our gatherings (with the possible exception of couples going off to be alone). There might be activity in occasional scenes that some people would consider to be sexual in nature (though others may not), and any such "borderline" scenes are "closed," and cleared with all participants beforehand. Really, it's not that scandalous. 😛

In any case, I hate to go on defending myself, and our local community, when I/we've done nothing wrong. I just feel a responsibility to our group not to let rumors and innuendo destroy what we've created together, or allow such gossip to turn impressionable minds against us when we're really such a great group of people. 😎

(And if this whole exchange just blew right by you... that's wonderful. Carry on. )

 

[sadira]

Originally Posted by ticklingfeet4fu
[in reply to simulated] Again, I offer you the same idea, I challenge you to come here to our gathering and find out if it is sexual or not. Since it seems you have your own definition of sexuality, then come here to our gathering in October and find out for yourself. You might find out that with as many people who are here and with as much public tickling that goes on unless you are on Viagra the chances are you not going to be aroused for the entire weekend. Nobody's that good.

Hmm... then I dare say that simulated might have more fun at our gatherings than he would at yours...

One good strike deserves another, eh? Is that the idea? Your comment against our party started this firestorm.

But to get back to topic. People have commented to us numerous times before that they are afraid or reluctant to come to a gathering because they feel that it's going to end up being nothing but a sex party. We reassure them that that's not how we plan our parties. Do people get turned on? Yes. We can't police their thoughts. But we tell them right up front that if things become too heated for them, be polite, excuse yourselves and take things back to your hotel. The party locale is not the place for sexual play. It has not been agreed upon by everyone at the party so, to be kind to all and adult about it, give yourselves your privacy.

Tickling works well for us. Anything beyond that does not.

If you need more than that, then yeah....Lindy might be right. Otherwise...we do have a good thing going out here. You just might want to check us out.

 

[LindyHopper]

Originally Posted by ticklingfeet4fu
[in reply to simulated] Again, I offer you the same idea, I challenge you to come here to our gathering and find out if it is sexual or not. Since it seems you have your own definition of sexuality, then come here to our gathering in October and find out for yourself. You might find out that with as many people who are here and with as much public tickling that goes on unless you are on Viagra the chances are you not going to be aroused for the entire weekend. Nobody's that good.

One good strike deserves another, eh? Is that the idea? Your comment against our party started this firestorm.

Ah. I really am sorry about that! 🙁 I was merely commenting that proclaiming to a young, strapping lad that "the chances are you not going to be aroused for the entire weekend" isn't necessarily a selling point. 😀 I honestly never meant to criticize your parties.

But to get back to topic. People have commented to us numerous times before that they are afraid or reluctant to come to a gathering because they feel that it's going to end up being nothing but a sex party. We reassure them that that's not how we plan our parties. Do people get turned on? Yes. We can't police their thoughts. But we tell them right up front that if things become too heated for them, be polite, excuse yourselves and take things back to your hotel. The party locale is not the place for sexual play. It has not been agreed upon by everyone at the party so, to be kind to all and adult about it, give yourselves your privacy.

That sounds like a good plan, and I'm glad that it works well for you. It's actually not terribly different from what we do, confining anything "heated" to private rooms. We're certainly not about to inflict sexual play on our guests in public play areas.

Tickling works well for us. Anything beyond that does not.

And as the hosts, the rules are yours to set.

If you need more than that, then yeah....Lindy might be right. Otherwise...we do have a good thing going out here. You just might want to check us out.

Once again, I never meant to suggest that you guys don't throw a good party. I hope that you believe me, and accept my sincere apology.

 

[isabeau]

ive been wondering lately if bondage tickling has to be a sexual thing, between gf and bf or something like that, or could it be a casual fun thing between friends? personally, i think it should be a fun thing, but i kno there are lots of ppl who have other opinions. what do you think?

poor brian asked a question and got controversy..everyone will have various opinions on this subject..

can it be sexual? yes
can it be a casula fun thing between friends? yes..

no matter if it's sexual or just playful, tickling should be all about having fun..it can be all of those or only one of those..but fun is the main key ingredienct...that is first and foremost..if the ler or lee or lers and lees aren't having fun...then nothing else matters..

 

[Nylon tickler]

It's turn me on to see women tied and tickled. Mostly in nylons of course... 😛oke3:

 

[drew70]

Okay I have to say that this personal attack on Lindy makes me ill. The gatherings are not exclusively hers, they are done by multiple people. She has helped organize some of them and is currently helping organize the upcoming gathering.

I think you are over-reacting. Lindy's character was not addressed and therefore no personal attack occurred. No need for any would be knights in shining armor to charge to her rescue.

It is because of unfounded rumors, hyperbole, and inuendo that changed a "public" gathering into a "private" one which is why I did NOT attend the last beach house gathering. When I found out that Lindy was 'Banned' I was beyond p'ssed off! She is my friend and I will stand by her as long as she is my friend and is being treated in a wrongful fashion. How that gathering was run was in an intolerant and childlike manner.

Are you sure she was banned? Maybe her invitation was simply lost in the mail.

Also I would like to point out that since you have NEVER been to a gathering with her you have ABSOLUTELY no right to say what is classy and what is not classy about our events when she is attending. I hate to tell you this but there have been sexual activity at events LONG before she entered the scene. Most of the time it happened behind closed doors after the "newbies" left, or those who would be offended. There is nothing wrong with having a gathering where you feel a need to supress or not have sexual energy but where do you get off making a personal attack on a very lovely, intelligent, funny, and wonderful individual who does?

I personally thought his assessment was on the money.

I hate to tell you this buddy but I got aroused MANY times at your gathering with various scenes going on. Did I act on it, did I fondle people, did I run off and have sex with someone? NO... I am able to keep that part of me under check when needed. I have a good amount of self control in that area. I could feel the sexual energy in several scenes.

Yeah, but did you SMELL anything? I thought that was your benchmark for determining sexual arousal.

That does NOT mean sexual activity takes place but people were aroused to one level or another. Not everyone was but there were some people who were. Did any of them do anything inappropriate? NO. Were all the scenes sexual, no. Was EVERYONE sexually charged, probably not. I didn't talk about it because there was no need too, until now.

Newsflash: There's STILL no need.

This woman has helped me through a lot of difficult times and I am not going to stand by and let you degrade her based on rumors or inuendo that the gods and goddesses from up whisper in someone's little ear.

Would personal testimony from me lend more credence?

I would like to remind you of what happened at a gathering where I went home at 6am because of things that occured that were sexual, and NON consentual since I was in the room sleeping at the time and was not made aware that this would take place. I hope someone changed the sheets that morning because it was not me dude, I was GONE. Is this a gathering that you call classy? I don't know, you tell me, Lindy was not there but some other people were involved... and I was not ready for that, and it freaked me out.

Wait a minute. I thought you were the guy who has these sex parties at your house? Now suddenly you're freaked out? What's up with that??

HOW DARE people go on and make an attack on Lindy or anyone who enjoys sexual play at gatherings when it is STATED and checked with all attendees that this is okay at the time this is initiated. If you want to pretend that NO ONE has sexual energy or is turned on in anyway then go on and live your fantasy life. You can speak for yourself, you can speak for your lady but you cannot speak for the rest of us. I for one was turned on several times, that invalidates your theory right there buddy.

How dare? It's as easy as this whining petulant rant to which I'm responding with great restraint.

HOW DARE those of you on your high and mighty moral horse make attacks to her face or behind her back when many of your guilty of doing MUCH worse and not admitting to it. She is just the most open and vocal one in our local community so you think of her as having less class, slutty, or worse. You have no idea what kind of person she is, and you have no right to attack her in this fashion.

We have EVERY right to express our views as she does. Sorry if that doesn't meet with your approval, but everybody gets their say, like it or not.

I know who the classy people are, and they are the people who attend the gatherings that I help host. We have class in spades and DON'T you forget it!

Sure you do. Why this post itself is just dripping with class.

I have never been so angry about a post before.

Take a deep breath. Relax. Go have yourself a good cry. And everything will be all better. Trust me. 🙂

 

[Bagelfather]

I think you are over-reacting. Lindy's character was not addressed and therefore no personal attack occurred. No need for any would be knights in shining armor to charge to her rescue.

Are you sure she was banned? Maybe her invitation was simply lost in the mail.

I know this first hand from one of the organizers, please do not try to tell me this was "lost in the mail." Also all gatherings are done via email through a list in general. Secondly her character was attacked. I am not being a knight in shining armour, she does NOT need any kind of rescue. I am standing by her as a friend.

Yeah, but did you SMELL anything? I thought that was your benchmark for determining sexual arousal.

That is beyond idiotic for statements, even for you. That was for ONE specific person whom is my lover, and whom I am very close to. However, I feel I am empathic and am a fairly good judge of people when they are in an aroused state (not necessarily with me). Also you get to read people's body language.

Would personal testimony from me lend more credence?

You can only speak for yourself.

Wait a minute. I thought you were the guy who has these sex parties at your house? Now suddenly you're freaked out? What's up with that??

For starters this incident took place LONG before I had any sexual party. Secondly any party such as that was NOT a tickling event or a TMF sponsored event. Third anything there is CONSENTUAL. The incident where I was bothered was NON CONSENTUAL.

How dare? It's as easy as this whining petulant rant to which I'm responding with great restraint.

You never restrain yourself, why start now?

We have EVERY right to express our views as she does. Sorry if that doesn't meet with your approval, but everybody gets their say, like it or not.

Yes people do have that right. However, doing so without any basis in reality is another story. The comments made originally which were deleted by the poster implied that gatherings involving Lindy were orgies and sheets had to be changed because there were 12 people to a bed.

Take a deep breath. Relax. Go have yourself a good cry. And everything will be all better. Trust me. 🙂

If you have anything to contribute other than personal attacks on me, please do so. Otherwise it might be better to remain quiet.

 

[ticklingfeet4fu]

Okey dokey. 🙂 For those of you who are having trouble following along (which, by now, should be all of you ), let me explain (no, that would take too long... let me sum up 😉).

Ticklingfeet4fu said some not very nice things about me and the gatherings that Bagelfather and I host. Bagelfather went off on him for the unjustified personal attack (he also went off on some other things - if you're not in our gatherings scene and don't know what he's talking about, you shouldn't worry about it). Simulated got "pissed on" for some combination of a) expressing his comfort with sexual energy at gatherings, and b) just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. In any case, I'm incredibly glad to know that I have such good friends who will stand by me when some stranger threatens my "good" name.

ANYway... it seems that Ticklingfeet4fu has decided to delete his offensive remarks rather than apologize for them, and I suppose that's fine. But in case anyone's come away with the notion that the West Coast Gatherings are depraved sex parties, I'd like to nip that in the bud right now. I don't know who he's been talking to (well, actually I might have some idea 🙄 ), but he's never been to one of our events. The fact that some of us feel comfortable acknowledging our sexual relationship to tickling doesn't mean that things are raging out of control. Nobody has sex at our gatherings (with the possible exception of couples going off to be alone). There might be activity in occasional scenes that some people would consider to be sexual in nature (though others may not), and any such "borderline" scenes are "closed," and cleared with all participants beforehand. Really, it's not that scandalous. 😛

In any case, I hate to go on defending myself, and our local community, when I/we've done nothing wrong. I just feel a responsibility to our group not to let rumors and innuendo destroy what we've created together, or allow such gossip to turn impressionable minds against us when we're really such a great group of people. 😎

(And if this whole exchange just blew right by you... that's wonderful. Carry on. )

Amazing!!! I never attacked your character. Nor did I attack the way you do your parties. In fact, I had no idea who you were until Bagelfather's feathers got ruffled. I deleted my comments because it was offensive to a guy I call friend. So I did not want to hurt Bagelfather's feelings. Because I do respect Bagelfather. I even PM'ed 2 apologies to him at around midnight PDT.

With that said, I do apologize to you LindyHopper. I am usually a little bit more politically correct than I was last night. For that I am really sorry. You DID NOT deserve me being a smart ass. If you knew me it might be different. 😀 I am really sorry LindyHopper. I was just commenting on your comment to simulated about how he would have a better time at your party. I took it to another level because I thought you were attacking Sadira's and my party. A party that Bagelfather has been to twice. But I had no business to attack your party. LindyHopper, I really hope you will accept my apology and forgive me. I was wrong and I admit I was wrong. I am really sorry.

 

[ViperGTS]

BOT: I has hanging out with my buddy Jeremy after work yesterday. I think my thing for tickling is slowly rubbing off of him, since we hang out so much, and last night he was talking to a lady friend. He asked her what makes her squeak, then asked if she was ticklish.

Even the thought of a new, unknown woman coming over and being tickled senseless gave me a little "perk." But it was just a flash of a thought, and thinking about it now, I know damn well that nothing but tickles would happen, if even that.

Again, we need to be careful of what we're using for the definition of 'sexual.'

Do I have fun tickling atractive women? Yes.
Do I enjoy watching attractive women being tickled? Yes.
Do the above two items make me horny? Oh yes.
Do I have a rwesulting desire to have sex with them? No.
Only if it's IrishGirl, right? Correct.
Will I indulge in sexually charged tickling? Depending on the situation, yes.
Will that be anything more than for the sake of the tickling? Nope.

Even if the lee I am playing with has an extremely ticklish crotch, the sole reason for being there with a feather or what not else is to make her squeal and laugh. If she gets horny too, too damn bad, she can deal with that on her own, but that's my sadistic nature speaking.

Long story short, tickling is usually sexual in nature for me, and occasionally the lees I play with. But it's never sexual in acts.

 

[Redmage]

Well, it seems I missed most of the drama. Possibly just as well, since I might not have shown as much restraint as Bagelfather did. But, maybe I can get things back on topic...

The question was "Does tickling have to be sexual?" It's probably obvious by now that this question is more complex than it looks. The innocent word "sexual" carries a great deal of freight, and people describe it in many different ways.

I'm going to start trying to untangle this by restating what I said before: Tickling does not HAVE to be anything. There are no rules about tickling. That said, many people find that their responses to tickling in certain circumstances are consistent - maybe even hardwired. So for any given person there MAY be circumstances in which tickling is always sexual (as for example with a sexual partner), circumstances in which is never sexual (for example when playing with a child), and circumstances in which it is sometimes or potentially sexual (as when playing with someone they like very much or with whom they have a certain chemistry).

Part of the tension on this thread seems to be coming from the fact that different people have different ranges of response to tickling. Everyone likes to think that their response is "normal," which is fine. Trouble comes when someone suggests (or interprets another as suggesting) that there is only a very narrow set of "normal" responses. I've said for a long time that "normal" is just another word for "average," and so I don't think the term has a lot of utility when referring to sex. A better term might be "non-problematic," meaning that it represents no unacceptable risk to oneself or others. But if people insist on talking about "normal," then I hope they can at least come to realize that within that word is a great deal of healthy variability.

Another large portion of the tension here is coming from tangled and conflicting definitions of that poor overloaded word, "sexual." I'm going to throw out a few of my own definitions, and anyone who finds them useful is free to take them up.

I'm going to take one step back and first define "sex." For me, "sex" means "anything that leads or is intended to lead to orgasm." That's a very broad definition, but it's one that I've found useful in many different circumstances. "Sexual" can be defined most simply as "similar or related to sex." In that sense it obviously includes sex (since sex pretty much has to be similar or related to itself), but it also includes a great deal more. The key (and the source of trouble) is in deciding just how similar or related something has to be in order to qualify.

There's no hard and fast rule on that. The best we have is guidelines, and I don't even claim to know all of those. But here are a few. If a situation does one or more of these, there's a fair chance it's sexual...

• Does it make you feel the same as another situation that you do consider sexual?
• Does it make you want to have sex, either with someone you're with or with someone else?
• Does the memory of the situation return to you in other sexual situations?
• Does it produce physical signs of arousal (noticeable by you or by others)?
• Would you find it difficult to explain the situation to a child?
• Would you find it difficult to explain the situation to your mother?
• Would you find it difficult to explain the situation to your spouse or partner?

The more "Yes" answers you give to the above, the more likely you are to find that the situation in question is sexual, IMO.

Now, it's important to realize that "sexual" does not mean "leading to sex." That's entirely up to the people involved. It also doesn't have to be a cause for guilt or discomfort, unless you choose to allow it to, or unless the sexual nature of the situation clearly violates a commitment you've made to yourself or to someone else. For example, reading an erotic story is clearly a sexual situation (that's why we call it erotic, after all), but it's nothing to beat yourself up over in most cases.

So, is tickling sexual? Sometimes yes. I'd even go so far as to say often, yes. But not necessarily. And even when it is that's not necessarily a problem, even at a gathering. There are special boundary rules in place at most gatherings in order to respect the participants' comfort levels, but those rules govern only what people DO. They have no authority over how people FEEL.

 

[Headsnap]

No it doesn't. I dunno how to put this properly, so here's an analogy; if you're a boxer with a spanking fetish, do you get a stiffy every time you land a punch?

 

[LindyHopper]

With that said, I do apologize to you LindyHopper. I am usually a little bit more politically correct than I was last night. For that I am really sorry. You DID NOT deserve me being a smart ass. If you knew me it might be different. 😀 I am really sorry LindyHopper. I was just commenting on your comment to simulated about how he would have a better time at your party. I took it to another level because I thought you were attacking Sadira's and my party. A party that Bagelfather has been to twice. But I had no business to attack your party. LindyHopper, I really hope you will accept my apology and forgive me. I was wrong and I admit I was wrong. I am really sorry.

Apology accepted. I think we both said things that sounded a lot worse to the listener than they were intended to sound by the speaker.

You and Sadira, and Bagelfather and I, are responsible for hosting tickling events in our respective locales. Thus, it's very important to all of us that the reputation of our parties not be maligned from a standpoint of ignorance. The ramifications of such innuendo extend well beyond any of us as individuals, and damage the communities that we work so hard to nurture. It's understandable that we would react strongly to anything perceived as an attack on our way of doing things.

So, let's try to put this whole sorry mess behind us. I know we both have major gatherings to plan, so let's get back to what's really important here. 🙂

 

[f_tickle_m_feet]

I think it can definitely just be for fun and that's how I prefer it!

 

[Bagelfather]

all's well

A

With that said, I do apologize to you LindyHopper. I am usually a little bit more politically correct than I was last night. For that I am really sorry. You DID NOT deserve me being a smart ass. If you knew me it might be different. 😀 I am really sorry LindyHopper. I was just commenting on your comment to simulated about how he would have a better time at your party. I took it to another level because I thought you were attacking Sadira's and my party. A party that Bagelfather has been to twice. But I had no business to attack your party. LindyHopper, I really hope you will accept my apology and forgive me. I was wrong and I admit I was wrong. I am really sorry.

After reading your messages, talking to Lindy, and reading your apology here, no hard feelings. Sorry I did not answer you sooner but I went to bed around 1am, had time to make one response today to something and then my energy was focused on my sweety and her birthday. Now that I have spent a good part of the day with her and doing something special, I can focus again on this issue and read the messages.

Also I did get the fact that you called but I didn't hear any voice mails. Sorry man but when I'm on a date I usually don't take calls 🙂.

 

[WorkInProgress]

In the actual practice, what I've found is that having play such as tickling, especially at a gathering, has things in common with being at a dance and dancing with someone. And of course, ticklephiles get sexually aroused by it; whether it conflicts with being of a monogamous couple is something monogamous couples have to work out for themselves.

 

[DannyMc]

I'd say it's all what people like and agree on .

 

[MasterPaladin]

Tickling a bound woman excites me however you have to take into consideration the lee's wishes and know your limitations. I do clips with models and get excited but it's a business so there is no sex involved. In a personal situation I ask how far does the lee wish me to go , some of the answers I got shocked me . (In a good way lol)

 

[Mislaffsalot]

I'm not sure if tickling has to be sexual for me. I do know that I have to be somewhat attracted to the ler or lee for anything to happen...so maybe it is a bit sexual, lol, in a mild way. 🙂

 

[MasterPaladin]

I think a lot depends on where your getting tickled. With me upper body is just torture but thighs legs and feet turn me on.

ps yes in real life I switch

 

[edv]

It seems to me that if two or more consenting adults engage in the act of tickling, and it dosen't lead to sex, then what you've just had is a platonic encounter. Maybe not STRICTLY platonic but innocent enough. All I know is when I'm thrashing around and screaming my fool head off at a gathering the LAST thing I'm thinking is "gee I really want to have sex with this person!"lol The only thing it has given me is an even greater appreciation and respect for oxygen. I think the bottom line is this- While tickling is probably sexual to some degree for everyone who has a tickling fetish so to speak, the act of tickling dosen't make most of us NEED sex. In other words it dosen't turn most of us into uncontrolable animals. Did that make any sense?

Peace y'all

Ed

 

[isabeau]

It seems to me that if two or more consenting adults engage in the act of tickling, and it dosen't lead to sex, then what you've just had is a platonic encounter. Maybe not STRICTLY platonic but innocent enough. All I know is when I'm thrashing around and screaming my fool head off at a gathering the LAST thing I'm thinking is "gee I really want to have sex with this person!"lol The only thing it has given me is an even greater appreciation and respect for oxygen. I think the bottom line is this- While tickling is probably sexual to some degree for everyone who has a tickling fetish so to speak, the act of tickling dosen't make most of us NEED sex. In other words it dosen't turn most of us into uncontrolable animals. Did that make any sense?

Peace y'all

Ed

makes perfect sense to me...

 

[wendynpeter]

It seems to me that if two or more consenting adults engage in the act of tickling, and it dosen't lead to sex, then what you've just had is a platonic encounter. Maybe not STRICTLY platonic but innocent enough. All I know is when I'm thrashing around and screaming my fool head off at a gathering the LAST thing I'm thinking is "gee I really want to have sex with this person!"lol The only thing it has given me is an even greater appreciation and respect for oxygen. I think the bottom line is this- While tickling is probably sexual to some degree for everyone who has a tickling fetish so to speak, the act of tickling dosen't make most of us NEED sex. In other words it dosen't turn most of us into uncontrolable animals. Did that make any sense?

Peace y'all

Ed

Look, some people want to play semantics here -- "if it isn't SEX, it isn't SEXUAL." But there's a difference between 'sex' and 'sexual.' If the question were "Is tickling SEX?," then maybe this argument could work better. But for people with a sexual fetish for tickling (who admit to being sexually aroused by it), I just can't see how anyone could say "tickling isn't sexual" with a straight face. Is "making out" sex? Most people would say no. Is "making out" sexUAL? I think you'd have a hard time finding someone who would say no. Of course there will be women who will say "I made out with my best friend just because we thought it would be funny." Was it funny the second time? How about the third time? OK, whatever.

This business about people with a sexual fetish for tickling getting together at gatherings, tying and tickling each other, all the while claiming it's a "family event" ... Look. I see why it makes it a less threatening atmosphere for the ladies if you de-emphasize the fact that the men are beating off in their rooms seventeen times a day. But to overtly deny that people who share a sexual fetish and gather together to act on that fetish are sexually aroused by doing that? Even I'm not stupid enough to buy that.

If it makes anyone feel better, the very same argument goes on in the bdsm community. There are those people who say that bdsm isn't sexual. Some of them don't know the distinction between 'sex' and 'sexual,' but some do and just deny that getting naked and tied down, blindfolded and nipple tortured is in any way "sexual." Those people just have a very deep need to believe that, because they can't deal with sex on any level. They substitute bdsm for vanilla sex, and when bdsm begins to feel too much like sex, they just deny the sexuality of bdsm. There's no talking to those people. Admitting that what they are doing is repressing their sexuality is just not an option.

People's psychology is interesting. It's amazing how people will rationalize things in order to feel OK about giving themselves permission to do what they want to do. But -- WHAT IF TICKLING *IS* SEXUAL?? So what? What would be the problem with that? Is that a horrible idea? It's OK to be sexual. It's fun to be sexual. It's fun to flirt and be titilated and aroused, even if you never follow it up with anything other than a great wank. At the end of the day, what's horrible is this silly repression of reality. The toll it takes on people isn't worth it. I say, "Be free!"