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Here is a curious inquiry

great thread

Like with many others, this post resonates with me as well. My wife and I separated for many reasons and I have to admit that tickling played a small part in that. She was not into it, and didn't understand how I could be. I tried many times and in many, many ways to convey to her how important it was to me, and she did indulge me several times.....but only after much coaxing and begging. Since she was only humoring me, it was clear she wasn't enjoying herself and therefore neither was I...making the whole experience (metaphorically) painful at best. Hence, I brought up tickling less and less, and basically repressed the desires and/or redirected them into the internet, fantasies, etc. That was the last thing we needed. After we'd grown apart in so many other ways, having yet another MAJOR aspect of our lives kept separate spelled certain doom....

Anyway, I think there's something to be said for just being able to completely be yourself around your s/o and have them not only "tolerate" or "put up with" your personality and things that are important to you, but love and appreciate you for it all the more. At least for me, it's a major part of being in a comfort zone with someone.

That being said I just can't imagine NOT having tickling be a shared interest with any future s/o I might have. And I would want to know that pretty much up front...or at least prior to a long-term relationship. It just wouldn't be fair to either of us otherwise.

just my $0.02
 
well....here is my story

hummph, even here it is hard to explain how sad it is when you can't share something with your mate. Not all is golden in life. My husband is a great loving man and father, although very straight laced. I have never ever had the nerve to tell him my total passion for this or what it does to me in a sensual way. Oh I have hinted on it, stuck my feet in front of him, put the baby oil out, you name it. All but just coming out and telling him how much I love it. My love for tickling is really not the all out no mercy tickling but that erotic sensual tickling that can really add to a intimate night with your mate. Oh don't get me wrong I love fun tickling too. My husband is also extremely ticklish and he laughs for a moment but then stops me. I've thought about just tying him down once and trying the soft tickling I've talked about, but never had the nerve. This forum has given me an outlet (a fairly innocent one). My mate doesn't even know that I come to this forum. I have often thought about meeting someone for the forum for a little tickle play just to satisfy my passion but I can never hurt what I have with my family. So I live with coming here and my fantasies. I have other things in my life that are wonderful and keep my occupied, but I do miss out on this side of my life.

JPie

PS...its often hard to bare your soul!
 
Tickle wishes and plain old reality

I have had the tickle infliction since I first raked a nylon sole when I was 3 or 4. I grew up dreaming of the time when I would be an adult and tickle more often. In my 20's I did tickle some women who seemed to enjoy it, but it wasn't until I was already married and hooked into the internet until I realized some women craved to be tickled as much as I would like to tickle.

My wife is not into the tickle scene, but does indulge me since she knows what it does to me. Somehow though, I feel kind of bad that she is not really into it, so I will give her a break sometimes, and tickle lady friends in a friendly way which I feel is harmless so as to exorcise the "tickle demond" from me.

My wife and I get along well, and like everything else in marriage- it's a give-and -take on all things, including tickling. I would not leave her, and she would be the only one I would consider my lover.

I regret that I have never really tickled a true 'lee, and would love the opportunity to gently tickle one in a purly plutonic manner. I would just once like to be able to tickle a lady for as much as I would like, knowing she was enjoying the experience as much as me.

I love consentual tickles, they are harder to come by.

If I never get that chance to have a totally consentual tickle then I will survive, I just hope they have tickles in Heaven.

In the meantime, I just hope I run into a 'lee inadvertantly one day. It would be fun.

If I did divorse one day (not hoping for one mind you), I would only marry one of the beautiful lees here if they would let me.

KingP
 
this thread has brought out a lot of really good, really important discussions, in my opinion. this is the best thing abou the TMF, that we can benefit from the life experiences of everyone who posts here, and about a topic that for a lot of people isn't easy to discuss. thank you all who have opened up your lives to us so that we might not make some of the mistakes you have, or might learn from some of the great decisions you have made.

adding my $.02... I agree that tickling is important enough to me that I take it into consideration when dating and looking for a possible wife. I used to think that maybe I shouldn't, that maybe I was being "shallow" if I let my sexual desires dictate who I might spend the rest of my life with. Now, I think that it is OK, and I'm not shallow because of this, I am just in touch with my needs, and that is a good thing.

keep up the great posts
 
Slappy, if you'll accept my comment, then let me say that I do not think you're shallow.

My 2 cents: if tickling is important to you (which is why most of us are here on this forum), shouldn't you then at least TRY to make sure the "itch" is satisfied? For example: would you marry someone who isn't interested in your work, or in your hobby?

Matter of fact, don't marriages that last usually last because the two people involved have COMMON INTERESTS?

I say chalk up tickling as another check point on that list of yours, Mr. McGee. 🙂

---

CelticRose, sounds like your husband and my wife think identically about bondage. She hates being restrained (so I gather) and he is afraid he'll hurt you. Funny old thing, life.

I still love her... and her feet. *evil grin*
 
I would never continue to date a woman that isn't ticklish.It doesn't matter to me whether or not she enjoys being tickled as long as she is ticklish. The more ticklish and the more she hates it the better. A woman's ticklishness is as important to me as non smoking. I won't date a woman that smokes or isn't ticklish, period.

Eric
 
My girlfriend hates to be tickled. She sais it's because she used to get held down and tickled by her brother and sister when she was little. The thing is, I love her. She means the world to me and so it doesn't matter in some way. Our relationship goes beyond the phisical.

Over the years we've talked about tickling and bondage and she's always wanted to do it but been too scared, which I accept. We have now reached an understandin. I do tickle her, but only lightly and only when we're intimate together. We talked about this before I posted, she is sitting here with me now in fact, and she told me that she enjoys our tickle play because it's intimate and because it's not, and never has been, forced on her.
 
Kingp, I too share your pain. I've been married for 3.5 yrs and my wife is great. Trust me folks I married a winner. She incredibly gourgous, very pretty feet, and has a great carreer(95K +). One problem; she's not ticklish at all! Now I know all of you are saying "didn't he know that befor he married her?" Yes, I did. But I did not want to cut off a relationship for something so trivail. We have a great time with each other but there is still a void that needs to be filled. Like many of you, I Lovvve ticklish women. I love beautifull ticklish feet. I can't seem to get enough. Back in 97' when I first got on line I was overjoyed to find all the tickling/foot fetish sites. I was in Heaven!! I have tried over and over to explain to my wife how important this is to me but she doesen't or won't understand. She really hates when I visit tickling sites. I'm caught in a bind because I really love her but latley I have been going to adult spa's to get my tickling fix. I figure this was better than looking for another woman. That would definaly end up sexual. Like most marriges, we have our up's & down's. I'm not sure if I should end the marriage and follow my disires or continue to cherrish our marriage for what it is. Folks please help. Any and all advise is welcomed...

Mandell
 
Mandell, don't know of any advice just my experience

I have a marriage that probably will end. Tickling was part of our relationship, but we have grown apart. Needless to say tickling is no longer part of our relationship. If you have a good marriage, tread very softly on looking elsewhere. She will never understand it when you tell her "its not sexual" because I don't know of a tickle guy yet who can say that and be truthful. She will see through any excuse. If she isn't into it you will have to decide which is more important your urges or marriage. With me, I have no choice, other things have decided that for me. I would not want to have to make that decision. Good luck and realize you are not alone in this dilema.
 
Tough quandries here.

Here is MY take on the whole picture.

IF you are a Tickler and your significant other is NOT ticklish at all, there is not much you can do about that with said significant other. Your options are to seek satisfaction of your tickling desires elsewhere without her/him knowing. OR Seek satisfaction WITH her/him knowing and approving. OR Seek satisfaction, inviting that other ticklee over or go with you and have your significant be there with you and see for her/himself that there is no SEX involved and that it is ONLY Tickling.

IF you are a Tickler and your significant other IS ticklish but is NOT into it. Slowly, one can be, "Converted".

IF you are a Ticklee and your significant other is NOT into tickling you. That person can also be slowly converted BUT IF all has failed in the conversion process, than have your Tickler come on over and have your significant other witness the process and scenario and scene seeing that it is ONLY tickling.
This may also help in the conversion process.

Some marriages or relationships have other problems within and the tickling is or becomes a more prominant factor and decisions have to be made. IF tickling is THE ONLY obsticle(obstickle😀) then either decisions or compromises have to be made.

Hense my other thread herein, "Man on a Mission".

I am here to help any and all who need/wish/require it.


Yours Truly,

TTD
 
mandell, i hear you

Tough quandry indeed.
As someone else said....no advice here, just personal experience(s).

I recall trying to explain to my (ex)wife how much
tickling meant to me, but I had to accept that she would
just never "get it." She had no fetishes, per se, so
she just had no frame of reference. If someone's wife has
a fetish I would think drawing the analogy between their
tatse for tickling and her taste for _______ would be fairly
straightforward. (I must assume from your post that yours
has no such inclinations?)

The only thing I could TRY to compare it to with my wife
was sex. Not necessarily it's elimination altogether, but maybe
a drastic reduction in frequency, or my desire for it, or
whatever change was "out of bounds" for her.
That (finally) got her asking herself: If tickling was to me what
normal sex is to her, could she do without it....even if she loved
me?? For how long?? What if she knew it would NEVER get any better?

My experience....
Well, although it was clear that she considered that a BIG problem,
she never really had an answer. Why? Because she still couldn't get
it. For one thing, vanilla sex is considered "normal" for most,
and she was no exception. (As we all well know, tickling fetishes
are not.) Also, hypothetically altering a 'vanilla' sex life was
too inconceivable to her. Some things you never *really* know until
they actually happen to you.

Another question I found myself asking was one I had to answer
for myself: What if the situation were reversed? In other words,
what would I do (or have HER do) if she had some genuine need--no
matter how unusual I thought it was---that I was incapable of
fulfilling...?

....just something to think about
 
mpath

Incapable of fulfilling and UNwilling to fulfill are two different subjects.

As was stated earlier by others, marriages and or relationships are full of 50/50's.
There are much worse things to ask of your significant others than some tickling.
While some are lucky to have them at least TRY it. There are some who have others will blatently REFUSE to even consider it.

Therein lies a whole other quandry.

You make a very valid point as to the "point of reference" to compare the love and or need of tickling.

Somehow some way, the parties of the second parts who are oblivious to tickling and its' "importance" and or effects, need to experience it one way or another in its' entirety and glory.

TTD
 
Uh, just an observation here, but I just separated with someone who HAD her own kinks but didn't dig THIS kink.

Just 'cause someone like's bondage (or any of her other kinks) doesn't mean they are open to OUR kink. Some are, some aren't. It's a personal deal, y'know?

Some folks will try it and NOT dig it.

Some will dig it without KNOWING you're into it, and will deal with it as a form of foreplay. Ah, college...

The last long-term lover DID know of my interest. She was at the first few years of gatherings. Played there, event. Just wasn't into it. Still ain't.

Oh, and for mysterytic - it ain't ALWAYS sexual for me, and I'm guessin' that's true for some here, though not all, especially the older crew. Can be, for me, with someone with whom I've an attraction, but it ain't an automatic sexual trigger for me anymore. Hasn't been for many years. When you're around tickling a lot, it becomes familiar, much like sexuality does for teens, ultimately. So many years after hosting gatherings, it's easy NOT to respond, now. Your mileage may vary...

dvnc
 
Tickling isn't always sexual for me either which is a good thing given that I'm at the same gatherings DVNC is at! LOL
 
JPie, I justed wanted to thank you for sharing your story. you are not alone and I admire your willingness to bare your soul.
 
Well...location?

Okay, we have semi frustrated married people in NJ, NY and CT...lol..geographically we're getting pretty close, anyway! Life is long, JPie... BTW, Long Island is only 15 miles away by the Port Jefferson ferry 😉 Q
 
I am very ticklish. My husband did not realize until recently. Now, he likes to tickle me whenever we sit together or lie together. Sometimes, he will even tie my hands behind me with silk scarfs while were watching television and tickle my ribs and belly. Sometimes it bothers me but I know he likes it so I don't say anything.
 
Thanks for all who have posted on this thread and to all who WILL post and continue to post to this thread!

You are all great!

You are making this one of the best threads on TMF. I am not saying this because I started it either.

Keep it up my friends!😀


TTD
 
Tickling is NOT always sexual for me either however sometimes a sexual reaction cannot be helped or prevented, depending on the situation and how the tickling is done.

A fine line indeed.

Although, even IF the tickling envolks a sexual response, that does not mean that needing or having "SEX" is necessary during or after the tickling. IF you know what I mean.😀 😉 😛 :devil:


TTD:firedevil :scared: :angel:
 
wow, soo much great stuff here....

skymaster....thanks for your kind words..we seem to see eye to eye on this .

mpath,... I liked what you had to say about comparing our fetish to someone else's fetish as a means of explanation, and it made me think about my situation with my recent ex... as I have said on here, we tried the whole tickling thing, and the toe sucking, but it really drove her nuts and I eventually gave it up because it turned me off that she clearly wasn't enjoying it.... and she did have a fetish of her own which I tried to endulge but clearly didn't like either, and this was that she liked to bite me during sex, and I mean bite HARD, usually on the neck or shoulder, and sometimes I would have mearks for days afterwards. It clearly was as uncomfortable to me as being tickled was for her.... the only difference was that I stopped tickling her, she didn't quit trying to bite me, so sometimes I let her, sometimes I stopped her.

our sex life didn't really work for a lot of reasons, mainly because she just wasn't really into foreplay, and I really am (roles were quite reversed from the stereotypes, huh) and after we broke up, even through all the pain, I felt like I had a better chance to actually have a good sex life again some time, which was very exciting.....

I have told 4 people I know about my interests in either feet or tickling, and coincidentally, I have tickled and toe sucked all 4 of them (some knew before, some knew after), and none have thought I was a "freak" or at least didn't make me feel like they thought I was.....I have learned that people are a lot more open minded than I sometimes give them credit for, and I will surely choose my time and place carefully, but I would never consider keeping my interests from a mate again, because like everyone here has shared, you never know how it will turn out, but at least you are being true to yourself and your needs.

this has quickly become one of my favorite threads on the forum, because it has gotten very personal for a lot of people, I hope nothing I shared is too personal, and I want to thank all of you for opening yourselves up like this.

🙂
 
Great Job Slappy...!

My expectations have definatly been met when I started this thread as well as my intentions.

People have to Open up to their desires.

You will all feel a whole lot better for it in the long run.

Slappy, thanks for sharing your thoughts and opinions and again thanks to everyone else who have responded to this thread so far.


Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep it going my friends!!!😀 😉


TTD
 
Just making sure the thread stays alive my friends.

Keep them posts coming! You all are doing a hell of a job!!!!


TTD
 
Mysterytic,
Thanks for your advise and your honesty. I hope things
workout for you soon...

Mandell 🙂
 
Give some thought to the up and coming new year of opening up just a BIT more to your wives husbands boyfriends and girlfriends.
Honesty never hurt anyone in the long run and is very healthy for any and every relationship.
Tension and secrets can only do damage.

TTD
 
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