I dont even read the blonde jokes I am posting.....
Q: How do blondes commit suicide?
A: They put spikes on their shoulder pads.
Q: Why are blondes like turtles?
A: When on their back, their screwed.
Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A: Both are empty from the neck up.
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Give her a pack of M&M's and tell her to put them in
alphabetical order.
Q: What do you call 22 blondes standing in a row?
A: Wind tunnel.
Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.
Q: What's similar about UFO's and a smart blonde?
A: You keep hearing about them, but never see one...
Q: If a blonde and a brunette fell out of an airplane, who would
land first?
A: The brunette. The blonde would have to stop and ask for
directions.
Q: Why don't blondes like pickles?
A: They keep getting their head stuck in the jar...
Q: What is a blondes' mating call?
A: Oh, I'm soooooo drunk!
Q: What is a brunettes mating call?
A: Have all the blonde's gone home?
Q: What do you call a brunette between 2 blondes?
A: An Interpreter.
Q: What does a blonde say first thing in the morning?
A: Are all you guys on the same team?
Q: What do you call a blonde who has dyed her hair black?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
A: 100 - 1 to stir and 99 to peel the M&Ms.
Q: How can you tell when a blonde has used your computer?
A: Whiteout all over the screen.
Q: How can you tell if she has been back to the computer?
A: Writing on the whiteout.
Q: What's similar about Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and Smart
Blondes?
A: They are all make-believe.
Q: Why do blondes write TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First
Q: Why do blondes write TGIF on their bras?
A: Tits Go In First
Q: Why do blondes like the GST?
A: It's the only thing they can spell.
Q: Why do blondes wear panties?
A: To keep their ankles warm.
Q: How do you change a blondes mind?
A: Blow in her ear.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an airplane?
A: The Black Box ALWAYS tells the truth.
Q: How does a blonde turn on the light in the morning?
A: Opens the car door.
Q: How is a blonde unlike the Titanic?
A: You know how many men went down on the Titanic.
Q: Why did 18 blondes go to the R-rated movie?
A: Because they heard that under 17 was not admitted.
Q: Why did the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: She kept throwing out the W's!
Q: What do four blondes have in common?
A: Nothing they can think of.
Q: What does a blond say after making love?
A: "Thanks guys..."
Q: What is the best protection against rape?
A: dye your hair blond - no one "rapes" a blond!
Q: What do most blonds have against condoms?
A: Their cheeks!
Q: How can you tell a real blond from a fake?
A: Fuck her!
Q: What's the difference between an intelligent blonde and a U.F.O.?
A: There have been U.F.O. sightings.
Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool....
Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet???
A: The winner of a Hide and Seek game.....
Q: What do you call a circle of blondes?
A: A dope ring.......
Q: What goes "VROOOM SCREECH! VROOOM SCREECH! VROOOM SCREECH!"
A: A blonde at a flashing red light!
Q: Why can't blondes use birth control pills?
A: They keep falling out.
Q: If you have 3 blondes sitting on a couch, how do you know which one
is the cock sucker?
A: The one spitting feathers!
Q: What happened to the Blonde terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
A: She burned her lips on the exhaust pipe.
Q: How does a blond hemophiliac cure herself?
A: With acupuncture!
Q: Why does a blond eat beans on Saturday?
A: So she can take a bubble bath on Sunday.
Q: How can you tell when you're in bed with an Blonde man???
A: It's not hard.
Q: What do you call a virgin blonde?
A: An ugly 3rd grader.
Q: What do you have when there are three blondes in a corner?
A: An Air Pocket
Q: What do you call a blond driving a car?
A: An Air Bag
Q. How does a blond screw in a light bulb?
A: With lubricant...
(but how does she get into the lightbulb?)
Q: What does a blond put behind her ears to attract men?
A: Her ankles!
Q: Did you hear about the blonde girl who thought her typewriter
was pregnant?
A: Seems it was skipping periods.
Q: What did the blonde say when the job interviewer asked "Please spell
your name?"
A: "Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E."
Q. Why Do You Take A Blonde Shopping With You?
A. To Be Able To Park In The HandiCapped Zone.
Q. How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb
A. 100 -- 1 to screw it in and 99 to say I can do that.
Q: What do a Bleached Blonde and a 747 have in common?
A: They both have little Black Boxes
Q: What's the difference between a Blonde and a 747?
A: Not everyone's been in a 747!
Q: What's the other difference between a Blonde and a 747?
A: A 747 only goes down occasionally where a Blonde...well...
Q: Why Don't They Give Blondes Coffee-Breaks?
A: It's Such a Pain In The Ass Having To Retrain Them All The Time.
Q: What did the blonde say when she opened the box of cheerios?
A: Oh look, daddy...doughnut seeds
Q: How do you drown a Blonde??
A: Put a mirror in the bathtub...
Q: How do you know when a blonde is having her period?
A: When she can't find her pencil and her tampon's behind her ear.
Q: How come the blonde had a square chest?
A: She forgot to take the Kleenex out of the box.
Q: How do you get a twinkle in a blondes' eye?
A: Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Q: How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave.
Q: How did the blonde break her arm raking leaves?
A: Fell out of the tree.
Q: Why don't blondes like to make Kool-Aid?
A: They can't fit 2 quarts of water in the little package.
Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen sink?
A: Because that's where you wash vegetables.
*giggles*
