So I told my girlfriend about my love for tickling and being tickled and she acted like she was ok with it but she completely stoped tickling me. So I pulled a dick move and told her I was lying and only told her I didnt actually like it because I knew she wouldnt want to tickle me anymore because I couldnt take it. So if she gets mad at me she will tickle me or to prove whos tougher but I gotta act like I dont like it everytime she tickles me. Any advice on should I tell her the truth again or what should I do next?
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I need Advice!
- Thread starter Cyro
- Start date
Well I did and she said its because she thought it was wierd and she even told me after she thought I didnt like it again that she was talking about it with her roommates and and she said that if I asked her to tickle me while we were making out or something then she would cry. I really care for this girl and im not sure what to do because I cant stop my love of tickling either
wow, she must really be uncomfortable with it then.
Well, it seems from what you've said that you cant have both, you cant lie to her about it cause lying and relationships really shouldn't mix.
You have to work out which is more important to you.
1. is she important enough to you to drop tickling in the hope that she'll warm to it?
2. is having a tickle friendly girlfriend important enough for you to leave her and hope for better luck next time?
Well, it seems from what you've said that you cant have both, you cant lie to her about it cause lying and relationships really shouldn't mix.
You have to work out which is more important to you.
1. is she important enough to you to drop tickling in the hope that she'll warm to it?
2. is having a tickle friendly girlfriend important enough for you to leave her and hope for better luck next time?
Agreed, the truth will set you free!!! As Aunt Esther used to say to poor Fred Sanford......
You need to figure out her attitude on that way early, as I mentioned in another thread, before you go forward. Don't waste a huge amount of time and money on someone who you may not have a future with, and end up with months or years of frustration to have to come to grips with.
You need to figure out her attitude on that way early, as I mentioned in another thread, before you go forward. Don't waste a huge amount of time and money on someone who you may not have a future with, and end up with months or years of frustration to have to come to grips with.
Men that women respect don't lie. They tell the truth....and duck under the frying pan. Weak men lie...women don't respect weak men. If you want to be good with women tell them the truth but in a charismatic way...that won't make them cry. I know it sound obvious but you'd be surprised at how many guys get it wrong.
GQ
GQ
stockytickler
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I don't understand this. She was tickling you. Then you said you liked it. And she stopped.
My take on what's gotta be going on in her mind: "Oh, I love finding out what sorts of things my sweetie enjoys about our time together so I can CONTROL, WITHHOLD and DENY THEM."
This relationship is doomed. Run.
My take on what's gotta be going on in her mind: "Oh, I love finding out what sorts of things my sweetie enjoys about our time together so I can CONTROL, WITHHOLD and DENY THEM."
This relationship is doomed. Run.
I think GQguy is expressing some values that are crucial to remember in any good relationship, and I would extend every instance of "men" and "women" to "people."
It does sound like she's uncomfortable with it. Maybe she's struggling with more basic questions that have arisen now that she knows has a boyfriend who has a fetish of any kind -- it's possible that the implications of that are just confusing to her, or maybe she still appreciates a certain limit to intimacy in your relationship at this point, or finds something fearsome about deeper sexuality herself. It's very hard to even guess on that much information.
I think it's necessary to ask yourself what you would choose if you knew for sure that your fetish wouldn't work for your girlfriend, as Haribish! suggested. It may not come to that, but I think it's important that you have that answer ready.
It does sound like she's uncomfortable with it. Maybe she's struggling with more basic questions that have arisen now that she knows has a boyfriend who has a fetish of any kind -- it's possible that the implications of that are just confusing to her, or maybe she still appreciates a certain limit to intimacy in your relationship at this point, or finds something fearsome about deeper sexuality herself. It's very hard to even guess on that much information.
I think it's necessary to ask yourself what you would choose if you knew for sure that your fetish wouldn't work for your girlfriend, as Haribish! suggested. It may not come to that, but I think it's important that you have that answer ready.
Jagermeistered
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My friend has it.
At the same time, don't let her insecurities become your defeat! Life is still full of surprises!
BlackestLily
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Well, I'm guessing the sexuality of it completely caught her off guard. I think most people who don't have this fetish find it just a playful thing to do with one another. When she thought it wasn't sexual for you, it was okay, then when when she found out it was it massively emotionally upset her. Not to get too personal, but have you both had sex yet? Just how intimate have you been?
Maybe you shouldn't talk about it so much. I'm not saying lie to her but there is no reason to bring it up agian either. It might just creep her out. In fact, the whole acting like you don't like it game can be pretty fun sometimes. Besides, she might not be against tickling all together. Its possible you might have came on too strong and she is afraid of having your sex life dominated by something she isn't into. Its difficult to say what is really going on with so little information though.
Ticklishguy83
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Truth. Its going to be brought up again anyway. At least if your honest with her , shell be honest with you and that seems to be the major communication problem.
gentlefeather007
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Try to find out from her what is her main problem with it. It may be the fact that she doesn't want you to tickle her in return, communication is what you need here. Ask her what the problem is, and if she can't open up and be honest, think about moving on.
kcantankerous
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If you like it be honest she is your girlfriend after all (not sure if she is saving herself form marriage or something in which case if she knows it turns you one then I could see why she'd stop tickling you). If that isn't the case I'd tell her the truth and let the chips fall where they may. One thing is for sure, if you are on this forum odds are you wont be able to flip the switch off. The other option is to consume copious amounts of tickling videos and what not.
Either way I would just tell the truth and leave it at that. Tickling clearly means a lot to you. Also your asking her to tickle you so I wouldn't see, other than the example above, why she would object to that.
Thanks,
K
Leo tickles
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You need to ask a stranger about advice as YOU are lying to somebody?
What?
What?
DontAskJusTckle
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There seems to be a somewhat hedonistic school of thought prevalent in threads like this that strongly suggests that significant others exist primarily to service our fetish "needs." Subsequently, whenever a case is presented in which a SO is unwilling for whatever reason, she is at the very least cast as incompatible, or more often cast as a pariah.
There is so much more to a relationship than fetish or sexual satisfaction. To base compatibility on such a shallow precept is a recipe for a doomed relationship, in my opinion.
She looks at tickling as a form of punishment, period. I've known girls like this. They rely heavily on tickling as a nonviolent punishment to even up a perceived imbalance of authority, or perhaps to create one in her favor. When he told her he liked it, that probably blew her away. Imagine how a mom would feel if her five year old son told her he likes it when she paddles him. Now Cyro's girlfriend knows that every time she thought she was punishing him, she was doing the exact opposite. Given the enormity of her mistake, it's completely understandable that she would stop tickling him, because it's now become a humiliating reminder of that mistake.
This is why it's seldom a good idea to blurt out to somebody - even somebody close - the extent to which tickling stimulates you sexually. No matter how much the TMF's Moral Minority lays guilt trips of "dishonesty, trickery, yadda yadda," it's nobody's business but your own.
There is so much more to a relationship than fetish or sexual satisfaction. To base compatibility on such a shallow precept is a recipe for a doomed relationship, in my opinion.
She looks at tickling as a form of punishment, period. I've known girls like this. They rely heavily on tickling as a nonviolent punishment to even up a perceived imbalance of authority, or perhaps to create one in her favor. When he told her he liked it, that probably blew her away. Imagine how a mom would feel if her five year old son told her he likes it when she paddles him. Now Cyro's girlfriend knows that every time she thought she was punishing him, she was doing the exact opposite. Given the enormity of her mistake, it's completely understandable that she would stop tickling him, because it's now become a humiliating reminder of that mistake.
This is why it's seldom a good idea to blurt out to somebody - even somebody close - the extent to which tickling stimulates you sexually. No matter how much the TMF's Moral Minority lays guilt trips of "dishonesty, trickery, yadda yadda," it's nobody's business but your own.
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Libertine
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She denies you what you like most because you like it, betrays your privacy by discussing your preferences with all her girlfriends and then lets her opinion of you be dictated by their opinions of you. You know what? If she wants to cry let it be because you had the balls to walk out, find someone else, and leave her and her puritanical, illogical, and censorious views far behind. There are a lot of girls out there who will not only accommodate your desires, but welcome them. Some will be a lot prettier than she is. Your job is to start looking.
I agree with DAJT.
In my experience girls will open up to just about anything if you get close enough. If you really care about this girl as more than a sexual partner then just go with the flow and she will come around. No reason to push the issue on tickling or it might turn her off of it all together. Talking about it won't help. It will just seem as though your pushing her into something. Anyway, just my two cents. Again. BTW feel free to update us on whats going on. You have been pretty silent on your own thread.
In my experience girls will open up to just about anything if you get close enough. If you really care about this girl as more than a sexual partner then just go with the flow and she will come around. No reason to push the issue on tickling or it might turn her off of it all together. Talking about it won't help. It will just seem as though your pushing her into something. Anyway, just my two cents. Again. BTW feel free to update us on whats going on. You have been pretty silent on your own thread.
derkitzelnkonig
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So lemme get this straight, she was fine with tickling you until you said it is a turn on for you, and she is your girlfriend? And then she said this about it to her friends? She sounds really uptight.
Things regarding this wont improve, but only worsen, and the longer you stay with her the more emotionally vested you will become and the harder your inevitable breakup in the future due to this will be.
I'd dump her.
Find yourself a nice girl with a kinky side that doesn't need to confide in her friends when her boyfriend lets her know what he enjoys, especially when it is as harmless as tickling. That is like you telling her that you enjoy being massaged and so she stops and is goes and cries to her friends about it. Sounds to me like she doesnt want to please you, and she definitely doesn't care about your intimate privacy.
again, I'd dump her!
I'd give her a chance if the relationship is important to you, but not much of a chance. I agree that she has to know that your sexuality is not subject to change. I can understand that she may have freaked out at discovering that tickling has a strong connotation for you, which prompted her to refrain from tickling and to discuss the situation with her friends. See if she comes around, and make sure she has plenty of non tickling-related affection from you as well (so that she doesn't have to cry when you request it when making out??). But ultimately this strategy is putting the ball in her court, and if she can't cope at all then it's time to move on. I've sort of had this problem before and made it work in a similar manner.
derkitzelnkonig
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Generally if someone I am seeing and like says something turns them on with few exceptions, such as things that can potentially involve bleeding, things that pose health risk such as feces, and overall physical harm that would leave permanent marks, I do my best to bring it up and indulge them as often as possible, not recluse and cry about it to my friends.
