My encounter with a jerk!

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Okay I recently discussed this incident with my friend on the phone about this and wanted to hear opinions from the forum. Today, I came home after doing my errands because it's my day off and realized that I had to go to the bank to deposit some cash into my account. When I went to the bank, I saw a guy at the ATM. I decided to walk up to the ATM that was beside him just to get a deposit envelope, I didn't look at his info. on the screen or anything like that and walked back to the car to fill out my name and how much I was depositing. The guy finished, then walked by me and shook his head like he was upset and I opened my window and asked him what his problem was and he went psycho on me!

The argument went something like this. He shouted at me and said I was supposed to wait my turn and I said that I was just getting an envelope and he said I don't give a shit what you were doing! Then we exchanged words and he called me a bitch, a **** and said something bad about my husband (he obviously doesn't know that I am not married) I yelled back at him and said fuck you, called him a sonofabitch and an asshole. As he drove away, I gave him the finger. I felt he deserved it .

Just want to say that in the past their have been times when I have walked up to the ATM when someone was there just to grab an envelope to make a deposit and they never spazed out on me like this guy did. Now, if I just have to take money out or some other transaction, they I wait for my turn. Most people know it's polite while waiting for your turn at the ATM by staying somewhat back from them to give them privacy. My friend said he understood why the guy got upset but that he overreacted some by calling me nasty names. My friend said the world is a dangerous place and that people have snuck up behind people and stolen their pin numbers and such. I would never do that, I didn't even look at the guy's info. on the screen.

Well, I will think twice before I ever get an envelope at an ATM while someone is there!

 

[Mephistopheles]

Perhaps his wife has her period.

 

[Deleted member 66627]

Well, I guess you just need to learn to wait your turn. 🙂

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Perhaps his wife has her period.

LOL! I like your response. You are funny!

 

[Bugman]

Serious over reaction on his part,but it would have been best to wait until he had finished his business.There are just too many people running around with short fuses.

 

[taptoematt]

I don't feel there was anything wrong with your actions its just the technique you have to improve.
Just say: excuse me, but can I grab an envelope or can you hand me one, I don't mean to bother you but I'm short on time.
If he still throws a fit then its his problem and he really is an asshole.

 

[BlackestLily]

Well, when it comes to ATM's, people are pretty possessive of the screen and their time when up to bat. I guess I'd just wait out of respect for their need for privacy.

 

[Adam]

Well, when it comes to ATM's, people are pretty possessive of the screen and their time when up to bat. I guess I'd just wait out of respect for their need for privacy.

True, and rightfully so when it comes to protecting their money. No doubt that guy overreacted big-time, though. Sorry to hear about Jayne's experience. 😱

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

I don't feel there was anything wrong with your actions its just the technique you have to improve.
Just say: excuse me, but can I grab an envelope or can you hand me one, I don't mean to bother you but I'm short on time.
If he still throws a fit then its his problem and he really is an asshole.

I agree with you, purr and Adam. I guess I could've just asked him if I could just grab an envelope but I have a feeling that even if I did this guy would've still been angry. I do believe I made a mistake but he was also in the wrong by overreacting to the situation. Thanks for your kind words Adam, you are sweet .

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Serious over reaction on his part,but it would have been best to wait until he had finished his business.There are just too many people running around with short fuses.

I totally agree with you bugman especially that there are just too many people running around with short fuses. I'd say a good part of that is because of this current awful economy we are in. At least people are agreeing that he overreacted.

 

[Musicroxmysox]

Well someone didn't take their happy pill that day. What a jerk...

 

[primetime]

The guy was a jerk to go off on you like that, but something confuses me. You wrote that you went to the ATM BESIDE him. Why would he get mad that you went to an empty ATM beside him? Or did you grab an envelope from the ATM he was using?

 

[Dr. Vollin]

Well, I guess you just need to learn to wait your turn. 🙂

That'd be true if she took an envelope from the same ATM he was using; but she did say it was the one beside him.

I agree completely with primetime; the guy was a total jerk, there was no excuse for the way he acted.

 

[DLazarus]

The guy was definitely being a jerk. I'm sorry that you experienced that Jayne, but keep your head up...........because you did nothing wrong.

Don

 

[Gothika]

i am not saying u were right or rong in this situation but i dont think u should have said anything when he walked by and that would have stopped a argument right there just the best thing to do and on the guys part he should not have acted the way he did and when asked he should have just explained what the problem was that is just my take on it

 

[Evil Dave]

The guy over reacted but I feel that winding down your window and asking 'what's your problem' provoked him when he probably would have just walked away grumbling to himself and you never would have seen him again.

If you ask someone that then a lot of people have an annoying tendency to tell you what their problem is, usually in a not particularly polite way.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

The guy over reacted but I feel that winding down your window and asking 'what's your problem' provoked him when he probably would have just walked away grumbling to himself and you never would have seen him again.

If you ask someone that then a lot of people have an annoying tendency to tell you what their problem is, usually in a not particularly polite way.

Well when I asked him what was wrong I certainly didn't expect him to start yelling at me. He could've just as well said in a calm voice that he would've appreciated me waiting my turn and he felt uncomfortable that I grabbed an envelope that was next to him while he was using the ATM machine. He certainly didn't have to resort to nasty name calling and cursing me out. Just so you know prime, the envelopes were at the ATM machine that he was using so what happened was I came up next to him while he was using the machine to grab an envelope that took a couple of seconds.

 

[Dr. Vollin]

Now I don't get it. In the original post, you said you went to the ATM that was beside him; now you're saying you took envelopes from the one he was using. That would be a completely different situation; if you did take them from the same machine he was using, then I'd have to change my mind and agree with CrystalLight.

 

[chicago]

You can't go up behind someone using an ATM, accessing their personal accounts and money, and take something from that ATM without them getting a tad bit annoyed. He didn't know who you were and there's only supposed to be one person at the ATM at a time anyway. In this day and age when there is all kinds of identity theft on top of the shitty economy, it was definitely not the right move to walk into the man's personal space and take an envelope. He could have assumed that you might have taken a look at his personal info.

You really should have waited your turn or at the very least asked permission to take something from the ATM that HE was using first.

The man had a right to be annoyed at the very least, and so for you to then provoke him by asking "What's your problem?" (which is not a statement that's usually said very politely) when you probably should have apologized, was a bit over the top. You made a mistake by not waiting your turn, then pushed it further by having attitude. You could have just driven away without any issues. I don't think the guy was necessarily a jerk.

Gotta wait your turn. It's the first thing you learn as a kid. Unfortunately, some people forget.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Now I don't get it. In the original post, you said you went to the ATM that was beside him; now you're saying you took envelopes from the one he was using. That would be a completely different situation; if you did take them from the same machine he was using, then I'd have to change my mind and agree with CrystalLight.

I grabbed an envelope from the exact same ATM he was using but I just went beside him real quick that took two seconds and left the machine to go fill it out. Now do you get it? I DID NOT LOOK AT HIS INFO. ON THE SCREEN. Have done this a few times before and no one ever went psycho on me.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

You can't go up behind someone using an ATM, accessing their personal accounts and money, and take something from that ATM without them getting a tad bit annoyed. He didn't know who you were and there's only supposed to be one person at the ATM at a time anyway. In this day and age when there is all kinds of identity theft on top of the shitty economy, it was definitely not the right move to walk into the man's personal space and take an envelope. He could have assumed that you might have taken a look at his personal info.

You really should have waited your turn or at the very least asked permission to take something from the ATM that HE was using first.

The man had a right to be annoyed at the very least, and so for you to then provoke him by asking "What's your problem?" (which is not a statement that's usually said very politely) when you probably should have apologized, was a bit over the top. You made a mistake by not waiting your turn, then pushed it further by having attitude. You could have just driven away without any issues. I don't think the guy was necessarily a jerk.

Gotta wait your turn. It's the first thing you learn as a kid. Unfortunately, some people forget.

Well yes in an ideal world, we all should wait our turn but all I did was grab an envelope that two seconds next to when he was on the machine. I know there are things we learn as kids but if everyone followed the good manners we learned as kids, let's face it, it would be A BETTER WORLD. He had the right to be upset I guess but he certainly didn't have to resort to nasty name calling and cursing me out. He certainly could've said in a calm voice that he didn't like and wasn't comfortable with what I did and then I would've apologized and then that would've been it and we would have gone our separate ways.

 

[chicago]

I grabbed an envelope from the exact same ATM he was using but I just went beside him real quick that took two seconds and left the machine to go fill it out. Now do you get it? I DID NOT LOOK AT HIS INFO. ON THE SCREEN. Have done this a few times before and no one ever went psycho on me.

No one is saying that you looked at his info, but in this day and age you can't really trust anyone ESPECIALLY when you are accessing your money and such. It's not really that crazy to think that he assumed you may have taken a look. And I guarantee that even though other people didn't go nuts on you, that they were annoyed by it. You just finally found someone that decided to say something. You should probably stop taking envelopes from ATMS that are being used by someone. It only takes one person to get freaked out and report you to the bank or even the police because you walked up behind them while they were using the ATM.

 

[Evil Dave]

He certainly didn't have to resort to nasty name calling and cursing me out.

Well his initial mild expression of disapproval at your behaviour (looking at you and shaking his head) was met with you asking him 'what his problem was'. Maybe you genuinely couldn't see that invading his personal space was an issue and wanted some feedback but if those were the words you used its no wonder he interpreted it as you being confrontational and responded badly.

In an ideal world everyone would clearly and politely explain what has upset them so that we can all learn from each other and become better people. In reality you provoked someone who was already annoyed with you and received a very blunt response.

 

[ticklebunny 2]

I have to say I can see both sides of this: I am sure the guy did get upset and afraid you might have overseen or noticed his personal information and his personal bank accounts and things. That is totally understandable that he would be upset, I see that and understand that. I am sure he was not happy that you asked what was his problem..maybe you meant it to be harmless and not full of attitude but sadly the guy might have thought you meant it snappy and might have been having a terrible rough day and took it personally and got upset. Yeah I see what some of the others on the forum are saying: nowadays with how the economy is so shaky and not solid and how identity theft is happening and very common it is understandable that the guy got a bit hot under the collar-immediately thinking and concluding the worst-lost his cool and his temper. I am not saying it was right or justified I am just saying that is what happened.

I know you only meant to get a envelope real quick and be out of the way and meant no harm friend. However it is true many people are very peculiar and take it very seriously when parked at the ATM and it is understandable-each person should and needs to have the right to privacy at the ATM -that is important confidential information-access their personal bank accounts and money and things..so yes it makes sense that it seems only natural a person would get upset, if a person suddenly appears out of nowhere-when not expecting it...person doing the ATM assumes the worst. So in this case -I can understand the person getting upset and having the right to be upset.

However I see your point also, while I don't agree and don't think it was wise or best that you walked up to grab a envelope beside the person -and not good that you did not wait your turn-that is when it was not best and sadly u likely were in the wrong, not best decision...however I don't think that gave the guy a right to curse at you and call you a **** and other awful terrible names. It was not like you were trying to cause trouble and not trying to cause harm....you just acted sadly without thinking if it would be best or not to get out of car and grab a envelope...that I don't think is a good decision, no matter what. Too scary and too tricky of a world nowadays....sadly the guy assumed the worst-too many pranksters and people out for kicks, sadly he thought you were trying to be a troublemaker, when that was farthest from your mind and not ever your intention.

Plus I have found sadly people get bit too impatient sometimes especially when it comes to getting or accessing their money when at ATM or going through drive thru at the bank and sadly people if they have to wait bit longer than they wish, whether at bank, grocery, or wherever-people lose patience and snap quick sadly.

So yes I think you getting out of the car was not a good decision and not a wise one getting out to grab a envelope whether you meant good intentions or not. However upset the person was at you and thinking the worst of you-granted the guy had a right to be upset-but don't think this misunderstanding btw you and him-qualified him to curse at you and call you a **** and call you terrible names, that was taking things bit too far and terribly rude of him and a real creep thing to do to be honest. Especially if you only meant good intentions and not to cause trouble..no matter how big his fears that you were out to steal his identity, when that was not the case. Hopefully you told him you meant no harm and not out to do that.

I have to say yes probably you getting out of car to get envelope you likely were in wrong and not good idea to do that, but think what he did and how he reacted is the bigger tragedy and rude thing to do, how dare he yell at you like that and be so mean and a creep like that! That was uncalled for!

 

[Empyrium]

A finger wouldn't have been all he had gotten...It's a shame people can't get along with each other. Even if you are having a bad day, don't take it out on someone else. I think your response was warranted, even well-deserved after he decided to act like a dick. I wonder if he would have acted the same way had you been a guy? No offense meant, especially due to the fact that you are a woman, I was just wondering. Sounds like that guy was probably a just a bitch.