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Ohhhh what te hell

Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?
 
Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?
 
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
 
If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
 
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
 
How in the hell are ya?

I am fine. Just dandy! The was has now begun.:jester:

What's your favorite kind of cheese?

I like a good colby or a nice bitter swiss. Hell, I like them all. Even Venezuelan Beaver cheese!😀

How do you like your steak done?

Medium Rare. I want it still mooing.

What's your favorite month?

March of course.😉

Do hyenas laugh even when they are being killed?

I do believe so. Those silly rascals.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

She hides behind a mask of course.

When you have your picture taken with Mickey Mouse at Disneyland, does the guy inside the costume smile for the camera?

Of course. Everyone smiles when they are with me.

Is there another word for synonym?

Yes. Tom. I am synonymous with everything.
 
Morning my friend. Have a great day. did you do anything special for Memorial Day? I am out of here got some running to do. :wavingguy:
 
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive up ATM?

So California drivers can use them. They all drive like they are blind.:manicd:

Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

It is. Some people just don't understand the english language very well.

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

We would have good beaches in Las Vegas!

If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?

Lets not talk about me that way! LOL!

Why is there always one in every crowd? If you took all the ones in every crowd and put them in another crowd, will there be one in that crowd?

Always. Me again!

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

People.

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

Lost in translation.:crazy:

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

Of course. It would not be synchronized at that point would it?

Having fun? :bwahaha:

I always have fun when I am with good company. 😉

If the #2 pencil is so popular, why is it still #2?

Because it is a wanna be. And because the number one is seeing a shring. It could not handle popularity too well.

Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are both the same number of letters?

All I can say to this is......:rotate:
 
Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?

That would intensely funny!

Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?

Of course. If you are sitting on it.:megafail:

Whats a question with no answer called?

Hypothetical?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

I am the living proof!

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

Why not. Better than the dead zone.

So what's the speed of dark?

Slow. Very clow!

Are you a good cook?

I am one of the best cooks you will ever know.

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

It would suck to get an infection as you are going out.

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

He was a man. Where is the fun in that?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

To confuse kids.

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Love them both.

Did you know that you're my very first thread bomb? :bubbleheart:

I am so proud! Really, I am!😉

How am I doing? :bwahaha:

Doing awesome. You are doomed.:devil:

Ok, I suppose that's enough.........for now. :mwahaha:

Enjoy your day! :hello: :rowfull:

You are so damned cute. You are also so damned doomed.😛 :twohugs:
 
Morning my friend. Have a great day. did you do anything special for Memorial Day? I am out of here got some running to do. :wavingguy:

Hey buddy. Good morning to you. I had a nice memorial day. Worked most of it but had a great evening both Sunday and Monday at my brothers. Hope you have a great day my friend.
 
DIVEBOMBERS 6 O CLOCK HIGH

If a bear craps in the forest and no one can hear it. Does the bear have diarrhea?
 
When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security. --Such has been the patient sufferance of these colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former systems of government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny over these states. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his assent to laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his governors to pass laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of representation in the legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved representative houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the legislative powers, incapable of annihilation, have returned to the people at large for their exercise; the state remaining in the meantime exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavored to prevent the population of these states; for that purpose obstructing the laws for naturalization of foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migration hither, and raising the conditions of new appropriations of lands.

He has obstructed the administration of justice, by refusing his assent to laws for establishing judiciary powers.

He has made judges dependent on his will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent hither swarms of officers to harass our people, and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, standing armies without the consent of our legislature.

He has affected to render the military independent of and superior to civil power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his assent to their acts of pretended legislation:

For quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by mock trial, from punishment for any murders which they should commit on the inhabitants of these states:

For cutting off our trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing taxes on us without our consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of trial by jury:

For transporting us beyond seas to be tried for pretended offenses:

For abolishing the free system of English laws in a neighboring province, establishing therein an arbitrary government, and enlarging its boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule in these colonies:

For taking away our charters, abolishing our most valuable laws, and altering fundamentally the forms of our governments:

For suspending our own legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated government here, by declaring us out of his protection and waging war against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, burned our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of cruelty and perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow citizens taken captive on the high seas to bear arms against their country, to become the executioners of their friends and brethren, or to fall themselves by their hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavored to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian savages, whose known rule of warfare, is undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these oppressions we have petitioned for redress in the most humble terms: our repeated petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have we been wanting in attention to our British brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, enemies in war, in peace friends.

We, therefore, the representatives of the United States of America, in General Congress, assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the name, and by the authority of the good people of these colonies, solemnly publish and declare, that these united colonies are, and of right ought to be free and independent states; that they are absolved from all allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the state of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as free and independent states, they have full power to levy war, conclude peace, contract alliances, establish commerce, and to do all other acts and things which independent states may of right do. And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.

New Hampshire: Josiah Bartlett, William Whipple, Matthew Thornton

Massachusetts: John Hancock, Samual Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, Elbridge Gerry

Rhode Island: Stephen Hopkins, William Ellery

Connecticut: Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, Oliver Wolcott

New York: William Floyd, Philip Livingston, Francis Lewis, Lewis Morris

New Jersey: Richard Stockton, John Witherspoon, Francis Hopkinson, John Hart, Abraham Clark

Pennsylvania: Robert Morris, Benjamin Rush, Benjamin Franklin, John Morton, George Clymer, James Smith, George Taylor, James Wilson, George Ross

Delaware: Caesar Rodney, George Read, Thomas McKean

Maryland: Samuel Chase, William Paca, Thomas Stone, Charles Carroll of Carrollton

Virginia: George Wythe, Richard Henry Lee, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Harrison, Thomas Nelson, Jr., Francis Lightfoot Lee, Carter Braxton

North Carolina: William Hooper, Joseph Hewes, John Penn

South Carolina: Edward Rutledge, Thomas Heyward, Jr., Thomas Lynch, Jr., Arthur Middleton

Georgia: Button Gwinnett, Lyman Hall, George Walton

Source: The Pennsylvania Packet, July 8, 1776
 
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