Quintessentially British!

[red indian]

If you insist on a replacement anthem then I would go for "Four Sea interludes" By Benjamin Britten from "Peter Grimes".....yes, yes, I know he was a "conchi" who fucked off to the States when the Germans started acting up, but at least he wasn't gay or anything.

 

[BigJim]

I would like to see the scrapping of any form of national anthem which obliges the great British public to attempt to sing. As Simon Cowell as has generously demonstrated, the vast majority of us are no good at it.

What I would like to hear in its place is a recording of a Merlin engined Spitfire starting up and taking off. This could be used in theatres and on most general public occasions.

More blue ribbon type events( Henley, Royal ascot, Wimbledon) could be permitted to play the sound of a Griffon engined Spitfire.

Major Royal events, state funerals and sporting victories of any kind over the Germans will be done so to the sound of a Lancaster bomber starting up (four merlin engines).

I would also support the scrapping of "Happy Birthday to you" this should be replaced with the sound of a Jaguar V12 six litre engine starting up and tickling over.

Now that's what I'm talking about!

 

[red indian]

What should we play if we win the Ashes Jimbo? A Harrier jump jet doing a VTOL?

 

[red indian]

What about if we win the world cup? how about the "Sir Nigel Gresley" pulling out of Waterloo Station?

 

[red indian]

What if we beat the Germans in the world cup final? I suggest the famous Barry Davies commentary from the 1988 Olympic mens hockey final?

 

[OmahaTickler]

Sadly, Big Jim, the Ren Faires near me don't have laughingstocks, yet. I'm still a closeted tickler, or else I'd start my own concession and tickle any sassy wench who dared to take my laughingstock challenge.

I've often wondered which group -- Welsh, Irish or Scots --- gets the most irritated at being called Brits, and I dare any and all ugly American tourists to conduct their own experiments. I suggest trying a pub in Cardiff, Belfast or Edinburgh. Go there around last call on a Friday night, then begin your survey. Twits.

 

[General Zod]

What should we play if we win the Ashes Jimbo? A Harrier jump jet doing a VTOL?

The Harrier please 😀

 

[red indian]

To answer Omahas query, I dont think any of those mentioned would be too concerned about being called British, but dont call the Welsh "Taffy", dont call the Scots "jocks" and dont call the Irish " Paddies".....you wont go far wrong with that advice!

 

[Mister Scruff]

I've often wondered which group -- Welsh, Irish or Scots --- gets the most irritated at being called Brits, and I dare any and all ugly American tourists to conduct their own experiments. I suggest trying a pub in Cardiff, Belfast or Edinburgh. Go there around last call on a Friday night, then begin your survey. Twits.

The English don't much like it anymore either; I think 800 years of thankless subsidising of the Irish potato monglers, Scottish whisky-garglers and Welsh sheep worriers has sort of put a strain on the old Act of Union.

 

[red indian]

As a result of the "Barnet formula" English tax payers get the worst deal when it comes to a return for their money. Northern Ireland are top, then Scotland, Wales with us bottom. Its time this system was scrapped.

What makes me really laugh is that eighty five percent of the UK population is in England and we seem to let ourselves be bossed about by the remaining fifteen percent.

 

[BigJim]

What should we play if we win the Ashes Jimbo? A Harrier jump jet doing a VTOL?

In that event, I think we should actuallly go for a visual stimulus, rather than an aural one. Footage of the Belgrano sinking would be a good one. Always nice to wind up more than one nation at a time, especially if one of them is America. 😀

 

[BigJim]

What about if we win the world cup? how about the "Sir Nigel Gresley" pulling out of Waterloo Station?

Personally I would go for Chariots of Fire, even if it was written by a Greek bloke.

Failing that, a two minute exerpt of Norman Tebbit threatening to hang Neil Kinnock.

 

[BigJim]

What if we beat the Germans in the world cup final? I suggest the famous Barry Davies commentary from the 1988 Olympic mens hockey final?

Very good idea!

A possible alternative would be a recording of Prince Phillip going,
"Chancellor Kohl, Johan Bach, Adolf Hitler, Lothar Mattheus, Englebert Humperdinck, Georg Handel, the *****s who work in the Pink House in Fallinbostel, Hans Zimmer, Kaiser Wilhelm, Hermann Goerring, Johannes Brahms, Wolfgang Weber, Helmut Haller, Franz Beckkin.... Beccen...Whasnisname... your boys took one heeeeeeeeelllllll of a beating!!!"

 

[BigJim]

Sadly, Big Jim, the Ren Faires near me don't have laughingstocks, yet. I'm still a closeted tickler, or else I'd start my own concession and tickle any sassy wench who dared to take my laughingstock challenge.

I think the days of American renfaires doing tickling are long in the past, to be honest.

I've often wondered which group -- Welsh, Irish or Scots --- gets the most irritated at being called Brits, and I dare any and all ugly American tourists to conduct their own experiments. I suggest trying a pub in Cardiff, Belfast or Edinburgh. Go there around last call on a Friday night, then begin your survey. Twits.

These days, pretty much everyone seems to be for leaving the union. A lot of English people are sick to the back teeth of hearing how the plastic mac industry and what's left o North Sea Oil are going to make Scotland as rich as America once they''re free of the burden of England. Personally, in some ways, I'd love it if Scotland went independent as I believe thay'd end up in the same boat as Zimbabwe within ten years.

 

[BigJim]

The English don't much like it anymore either; I think 800 years of thankless subsidising of the Irish potato monglers, Scottish whisky-garglers and Welsh sheep worriers has sort of put a strain on the old Act of Union.

Which considering it was only signed in 1707, is something of a temporal miracle. 😛

 

[Mister Scruff]

Which considering it was only signed in 1707, is something of a temporal miracle. 😛

Yes, because that's how long we've been in Ireland, isn't it. Since the Act of Union with Scotland was signed.

 

[BigJim]

Yes, because that's how long we've been in Ireland, isn't it. Since the Act of Union with Scotland was signed.

No, but you mentioned the act, not the occupation.

 

[Mister Scruff]

Yes, well it didn't put a strain on the occupation, did it? That sort of put a strain on itself by dint of being an occupation. Cromwell didn't help either.

 

[BigJim]

Oh I'm sorry, were you expecting me to show interpretive initiative? Sorry old boy, a bit beyond my capabilities.

 

[sabyra]

scottish pie and irnbru (spelling??)

 

[Mister Scruff]

"Scottish Pie"?... Scotch Pie, you mean?

Y'know what Scotch Pie is called in Scotland? Meat pie. Y'know why? Because it's a fucking pie with meat in it.
- Frankie Boyle

 

[sabyra]

lol! yeah.. that's what i meant