R U honest about your fetish?

[tricham]

I used to look for the opportunity to pop up on its own. Now, with the ladies, I'm more "open" about giving foot massages, & why I like to pamper a woman. If I'm allowed to massage a womans feet, I know I'm in there. Lately I'm into tall women. I mean friggin WNBA height havin chicks. I love big feet. For obvious reasons. How do you guys approach the sometimes delicate issue of a foot fetish?
Intelligent replies only please. Idiots please move on to some other thread.

 

[dcbahr]

I have had several things happen and several ways to approach this. First, if it comes up in conversation, I figure, "what the hell," and just say it. I am an open person, and if it doesn't hurt a relationship, then really it's ok. The "relationship" being a friendly one.

If it is a girlfriend, I figure out some way to either tell them if it comes up somehow, although there have been times when I just acted up on it and then realized my stupidity later on. There have also been friends who are girls who I never have told but it is pretty obvious. I am a pretty physical person, it's all I can be really.

What has to be realized are two things: First, common sense, if a woman doesn't like having her feet touched, you can't force anything in my opinion. Second, it's all got to be slow really, unless the person is receptive to the fetish. I'm fortunate to be interested in a girl who is totally cool with it even though I keep saying I'm a freak. However, I've come to realize that this is who I am and I don't want to be anyone I'm not.

I hope that was inteligent enough, it's nice to open up about these things because this is the right sort of place to do it.

Layter,
Dave

 

[tricham]

Thanks Dave

Well put, well thought out, & an inspiration to some "in the closet" foot fetishist.

 

[luvgirlsfeet]

I've always been honest about my fetish for womens feet and for tickling, as sure as I'm typing this right now on Saturday April 8, 2006

 

[tricham]

Good 4 U, however

There are some ladies who consider a foot massage very intimate, or even foreplay to sex, & won't let you etc... how to get past that or explain it's not about sex, for now, but if happens cool. It's more about making you laugh, breaking the ice, on a first or 2nd date & it's just what you are into. & the sooner they know about it the better.

 

[kyle]

Everyone has a little freak in them. I don't broadcast my fetish but those i'm intimate with find out.

 

[chickles_:)]

There are some ladies who consider a foot massage very intimate, or even foreplay to sex, & won't let you etc... how to get past that or explain it's not about sex, for now, but if happens cool. It's more about making you laugh, breaking the ice, on a first or 2nd date & it's just what you are into. & the sooner they know about it the better.

Hiya!

I think you're definitely braver than i am regarding a first or second date, Tricham. (Though with a b/f now for some time my whole dating scene is different from what you're describing ) But when it comes to first and second dates i know from not just my own experience but from my friends as well, we often wonder about how far to take something. It totally varies. Some friends are open to pretty much anything with a guy on date #1 even - so long as she's in the mood and it feels safe and right.

Probably more of us are a little more hesitant even if the feeling is right. a lot too depends on how much we already know the guy before we go out with him.

I guess what i'm trying to say is that you kind of have to read how she's reacting. Remember, you are likely not the first guy she's been on a date with. And for sure, she'll have hours of conversation with friends behind her about what's "normal" or "appropriate" and, speaking from experience, when you suggest something all that experience will be going on in her heart and mind.

I guess as with most personal stuff, be it foot fetish or whatever, my general advice is not to reveal too much too fast - it's generally good to think longer term if you want more than a one-night-only encounter.
Does that make sense??

Many blessings,
Chickles

 

[Aragon]

Well, let me start out by saying I am considered the odd ball alot of times. I am bipolar and an outspoken person. I don't bring up my BDSM likes or dislikes often in normal conversation though.

I do look for women that i can enjoy a varied conversation with from the start though, and if they can discuss something more than hairstyles and drugs, I like that in her. Before the first date I make sure she is aware that though I am a gentleman in most cases, I can be a very big asshole. Not to turn her off but to keep honesty between us. I think that if she is aware that I may be jokester (I do stand up from time to time) I do not like being played for the idiot. If we go good after the first date, I will see if she is ticklish, if I don't already know and I bring up the foot fetish I have. That way we don't proceed too far if these issues are a problem. I figure that I do not need to to extend a situation that can lead to annoyance or wasting of time after that.

 

[Soda83pop]

In the gazillion years I have been in the online foot fetish, do you want to know who makes the biggest deal about people that have foot fetishes.....

... other foot fetishists. Bro...it really isnt that big of a deal. Just be you...you can never go wrong. I dont know you personally, but you seem like you are cool. Just be you, offer to rub some toes, tell her they are cute, and call it a day. It isnt that hard.

 

[Lionhart]

I think that it's just a matter of being comfortable in your own skin and being congruent with who you are. I treat my interest in tickling, feet, legs, bellybuttons or whatever the same as I would treat my fav dish, or work of art. Some may dig it, others may not.. Hey, life goes on.. (if that sounded to idiotic feel free to remove) Thanks for reading..

 

[QBWeaver]

Although I've been in this community for a very long time I had never told anyone about my kink. Neither husband knew of it. I never shared it with any of the guys I dated. I always felt like I was truly alone with my desire for this. Then when the internet arose and we all know that glorious feeling of typing in that word "Tickle" and finding a plethora of links.... Oh I was in heaven.

Well I just had an opportunity to "out" myself. I've recently reconnected with a man who I've been intimate with off and on spanning almost 35 years. I have always adored and truly loved this man but for various reasons we did not get into anything permanent. We hadn't see each other in about 9 years but I got to see him a few weeks ago. One evening I told him about my kink and what did he do? He let out with a little tickle on my side. Oh Glory Days! Of course I pulled away but then who doesn't when you're getting tickled! I think he felt a bit uncomfortable and didn't want to force anything on me. Little does he know that with our "play" time he has already been fulfilling many of my deepest tickling fantasies over many, many years. Oh if he only knew - and he will.

He had one concern... that I be careful and I appreciate that concern so much. He doesn't know you but I do. I told him about NEST and about what we do. I let him know about lots of you folks out there and how I truly trust my life with many of you because I know you've got my back, or my toes, or my sides! LOL

I need to send him the link for TMF so he can get a sense of what I'm talking about. I'll do that today!

I had always been too afraid to share my fetish with anyone. I'm not afraid anymore.

 

[MrPartickler]

In a strange way, I've actually grown kinda fond of the process of "unveiling" my fetish to some who may/may not have it. It can be rather exciting. Of course it all begins with actions--not words: I just tickle her. First they're just little tickles that sneak in under the radar. Then maybe I'll try one or two more devilish ones for good measure, "because she deserves it, I tell her". That way I can begin to tell her tolerance for it.

Once intimacy begins, the tickles can be come more random, and even sensual in nature. (I've found the tongue to be quite effective on ticklish necks. 😉) If she giggles or laughs at these times it's usually quite easy to take advantage of the situation to elicit more laughter. Then, I won't waste the opportunity. I will share my enjoyment of all of this with her by telling her how sexy she is to me at that moment. ...how she turns me on when she laughs ...or how incredible she looks and feels when I tickle her.... At that moment, it's almost like we're both discovering this new pleasure of tickling <i>together</i>--as opposed to one person "indulging their fetish" on another.

Now down the road, many dates later, a conversation may occur where I can just say flat-out "I have a tickling fetish." By then, hopefully she'll say, "Well, duh! Now tickle me some more!"

 

[isabeau]

now, if anyone would ask me, i think i would be nothing but honest. no one has any idea, however. no one in my family, not my sister. but my husband knows about it. so far he is the only one in real life who knows, but if anyone asks? i will tell them , yes i have a tickle fetish.. life is too short to worry anymore what others think of me.

isabeau

 

[Manticore]

I have been "in the closet" for all of my life –and didn’t plan on coming out- until a few months ago, when I accidentally came out to a friend over MSN. (I was chatting and copy/pasted the TMF link into the conversation by accident.)
After a quick conversation I realized that no-body else thought it was as big a deal as I did. I still keep it to myself but I have stopped lying about it if people ask me. It is incredibly relaxing and I love the tickle opportunities I have been given because of that accident.
(Incidentally, my family is still in the dark about my Fetish, I'll cross that bridge later.)

 

[chickles_:)]

I have been "in the closet" for all of my life –and didn’t plan on coming out- until a few months ago, when I accidentally came out to a friend over MSN. (I was chatting and copy/pasted the TMF link into the conversation by accident.)
After a quick conversation I realized that no-body else thought it was as big a deal as I did. I still keep it to myself but I have stopped lying about it if people ask me. It is incredibly relaxing and I love the tickle opportunities I have been given because of that accident.
(Incidentally, my family is still in the dark about my Fetish, I'll cross that bridge later.)

Hiya!
Wow! seeing so many angst-filled answers i got to thinking... (hey, it happens occasionally! )

I hope i didn't come across as thinking everyone should just hide out and not tell. I guess in my first post here, all i meant was there's no rush to tell. It is sometimes best to wait until you start to get to know each other a little bit that way when you do say "hey let's try this, it's something i like" he sort of has enough confidence with you to receive it as a step to a new level and try it at least before judging it or you.
but definitely tell!! Oh yeah!
It's all about openness and honesty.

I hopethat helps a little.

Many blessings,

 

[tricham]

Sunday & Today

I gave a quicky massage foot & back to 2 coworkers. i love my job

 

[Tickle Avenger]

You know tricham, i'm in the same boat.. I have had a foot and tickling fetish for as long as i can remember.. Only a random few, that i know, knows about them... But they don't know they have become fetishes.. The only people i talk to it about it are people i meet online.. Even then i think i might sound a little crazy about it because i keep it bottled up, and when i start talking about it I just let it all out.. probably sound like a maniac sometimes.. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and i think i'm just going to let it out in the open.. Its rough on me not being able to at least talk about it, since i think about it so much.. I've gotten to the point where i don't care what anyone else thinks about it any more.

 

[tricham]

2 add 2 that

You know tricham, i'm in the same boat.. I have had a foot and tickling fetish for as long as i can remember.. Only a random few, that i know, knows about them... But they don't know they have become fetishes.. The only people i talk to it about it are people i meet online.. Even then i think i might sound a little crazy about it because i keep it bottled up, and when i start talking about it I just let it all out.. probably sound like a maniac sometimes.. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and i think i'm just going to let it out in the open.. Its rough on me not being able to at least talk about it, since i think about it so much.. I've gotten to the point where i don't care what anyone else thinks about it any more.

WHO'S TO SAY WHAT GOES ON BEHIND CLOSED DOORS. OTHERS MAY HAVE FETISHES THAT ARE 4 LACK OF A BETTER WORD "WORSE" THAN YOURS.

 

[Mz Chaos]

My favorite saying is that my fetish is so secret, I haven't even told myself.
In my realm of friends and family... any fetish would not be taken well. Any deviation from the norm would certainly put a wedge between me and them. There are 1 or 2 that I feel would be receptive of the knowledge that I have a tickling fetish... but even they would never in their wildest dreams picture me in a bondage situation.
In our lives… we wear different masks. People get to know us by the mask we wear when we are around them. I’m not saying we are deceitful, but that there are certain qualities that we will exhibit around different people depending on how we wish them to view us. For instance… we do not wear the same mask around our parents that we wear around our bosses or that we wear around our friends.
I am so NOT a ‘Lee outside of this forum. I’m a control freak out there in the world… my friends know this. This is the mask I wear around them. I show them independence, reliance, confidence and strength. There is no way that they would ever picture me in a submissive role and this I think would dull the validity of my fetish should I choose to reveal it.
I also, do not feel the need to tell them. Things of this nature never come up in conversations, at least not conversations where I could work it in sensibly. These are friends I have had for 12 years… if I have not divulged my preferences by now… I see no need to ever divulge it.
The only people who need know, is the man I would be interested in as a prospective significant other. I have tried to have relationships, but there was always something missing. In my next relationship, I will make it clear from the start that I have this fetish and that it is a part of who I am and in order for me to be happy in a relationship, tickling must be a part of it.
This has been compounded by different posts I have read where one partner enjoys tickling and the other doesn’t. These folks… although very much in love with their partner… are not happy campers. Some even try to figure out ways to get their tickle fixes without harming their marriages. Been there… done that… refuse to go through it again.
So... I guess I'm honest about my fetish to the people/person to whom it will most matter and effect.

Now... In my opinion...MrPartickler has excellent advice. In another situation this method could be considered gentling. Easing into it, getting the feel for the situation (pardon the pun), and introducing tickling in a playful, even sensual way. Bravo Sir!

...it all begins with actions--not words: I just tickle her. First they're just little tickles that sneak in under the radar. Then maybe I'll try one or two more devilish ones for good measure, "because she deserves it, I tell her". That way I can begin to tell her tolerance for it.

I won't waste the opportunity. I will share my enjoyment of all of this with her by telling her how sexy she is to me at that moment. ...how she turns me on when she laughs ...or how incredible she looks and feels when I tickle her.... At that moment, it's almost like we're both discovering this new pleasure of tickling <i>together</i>--as opposed to one person "indulging their fetish" on another.

 

[Soda83pop]

I dont want my statement about why I am so open about liking feet (as many of you know, I really dont get into the tickle play you guys get into, so that is something I dont have to conceal) to be misconstrued. There are ceertainly some thing s that are cool to keep to yourself. I have certainly never brought up my work that OB and I did on Tickletown at a family gathering, a friend's BBQ, or Christmas party. It really was not relevant. But if anyone was to Google "dajerx", almost all of the hits are from here. I couldnt deny it even if I wanted to.

 

[MrPartickler]

Now... In my opinion...MrPartickler has excellent advice. In another situation this method could be considered gentling. Easing into it, getting the feel for the situation (pardon the pun), and introducing tickling in a playful, even sensual way. Bravo Sir!

Thanks, m'lady. 🙂 It definitely has worked well for me. It doesn't always result in a convert into the ticklephile fold, but it's always a good time, and no one's feelings are hurt.

As far as being open/honest with family & friends...well, as you said, they really don't need to know; it also never comes up. I would regard such info from them waay "TMI" in most cases, myself. Can you imagine hearing about the turn-ons of (and goings-on with) your own parents?

 

[Feathery]

What fetish? Who me? *Looks around behind me to see if someone else is there.*

 

[tricham]

This girl has got to be at least 6'1, at my job

& it is mandatory I see those feet, I will try to get pics, I just feel like I'm in the zone & can achieve it because i believe it

 

[tricham]

& another thing

You know tricham, i'm in the same boat.. I have had a foot and tickling fetish for as long as i can remember.. Only a random few, that i know, knows about them... But they don't know they have become fetishes.. The only people i talk to it about it are people i meet online.. Even then i think i might sound a little crazy about it because i keep it bottled up, and when i start talking about it I just let it all out.. probably sound like a maniac sometimes.. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and i think i'm just going to let it out in the open.. Its rough on me not being able to at least talk about it, since i think about it so much.. I've gotten to the point where i don't care what anyone else thinks about it any more.

An easy way to explain it (not that it needs an explanation) but some men like breast, some like booty, we like feet.

 

[tricham]

I guess it depends

Hiya!
Wow! seeing so many angst-filled answers i got to thinking... (hey, it happens occasionally! )

I hope i didn't come across as thinking everyone should just hide out and not tell. I guess in my first post here, all i meant was there's no rush to tell. It is sometimes best to wait until you start to get to know each other a little bit that way when you do say "hey let's try this, it's something i like" he sort of has enough confidence with you to receive it as a step to a new level and try it at least before judging it or you.
but definitely tell!! Oh yeah!
It's all about openness and honesty.

I hopethat helps a little.

Many blessings,

Are you comfortable enough with who your with?, how long have you known her?,there might not even be a need to tell, a situation may occur where you are able to have some foot fun.