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Say Something Funny Thread......

A man has a 25 pound bag of dog food at the grocery store check out counter and the lady behind him asks: "Do you have a dog?"
 
There's a blizzard outside but it's not snowing where I'm going why is my flight cancelled?
 
Have you heard that it is so hot they are feeding chickens ice cubes to prevent them from laying hard boiled eggs?
 
You've heard that it has been so hot lately that potatoes cook underground, just dig them up and add butter.
 
Why don't women need a driver's license?

Because there isn't a road between the bedroom and the kitchen!

*BA DUM CHA!*
 
Heard when departing an airplane: "If you leave something make sure that the crew will enjoy it".
 
A man is a king.
A king is a ruler.
A ruler is twelve inches.
Are you still a man?
 
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