May I ask what the big difference would be between the first and the second or third meeting? If someone you trust plans on raping you while tied, the person will do it no matter when you agree to being tickled. And if you don't trust the person, you won't let them tie you anyways! This kind of thing can happen to you at any time when you agree to being tied down! All you can do is minimize the risk.
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She don't want tickles anymore....
- Thread starter elanor
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May I ask what the big difference would be between the first and the second or third meeting? If someone you trust plans on raping you while tied, the person will do it no matter when you agree to being tickled. And if you don't trust the person, you won't let them tie you anyways! This kind of thing can happen to you at any time when you agree to being tied down! All you can do is minimize the risk.
ticklemepls
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this is what i've BEEN thinking but just didnt post.... maybe its just me, but i'd actually like to meet the person first- get to know them without play.... maybe that happened maybe it didnt but it is what it is i guess.... and yeeah i am sorry it happened to you...
i kinda get speedbumps point of view though... i think people here are to hasty to meet up with others they dont even know... post stuff in the personals and jump at the first opportunity without getting to really know and trust the person.... we dont know the details around it and just the way it was explained kinda screams there were some major steps missed in planning ..
seriously not trying to sound like an insensitive bitch because im not..... its just everyone is so quick to be all sympathetic but ripped this person apart in the other thread... stuff just doesnt add up is all....
We don't know what happened or how long she was in contact with the guy - but even if she just talked to him online once, it's still his fault - HE was the rapist! But it's like this far too often - assholes like him will not get convicted because the woman is afraid to go to the police for the simple reason that someone could tell her it was her fault!
ticklemepls
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ticklemepls
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ticklemepls
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see this is why people dont actually say what they think around here...
yes i am a female, and I never said she was to 'blame' just that seems there are a few steps missing in the progress. Im sorry if i was raised to protect myself and not jump on decisions first thing... thats just how i am... i think the guy who did this is a creep and no I dont think it was right at all... maybe she did in fact know this person longer than one or two conversations to set this up, and felt safe with this person... but y'know it kinda reminds me of the 'escorts' service on craigslist... put yourself in an unsafe situation and you never know whats going to happen.. you have 0 idea who is behind a computer screen... thats all im saying... i've met only 2 people on this forum, and only after i knew them for months and trusted them and talked to them about normal day to day life...
again, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
Well I have to disagree, the whole problem is that everyone around here says exactly what they think without stopping for a moment and considering what they are putting on the internet as their view. Maybe the anonymity of the internet encourages this.
Of course I agree that everyone is entitled to their opinion, this is a public forum after all. Just maybe some sensitivity after an alleged tragedy is in order. Someone may have been raped here, so discussing the finer points of whether they followed 'safe play meet' rules is pretty moot.
My Grandmother recently died of Cancer, if someone had voiced their opinion about whether her smoking had caused it, I wouldn't have been the happiest person, and would have voiced my own opinion back, which would have probably mostly consisted of 4 letter, unflattering words.
Jus' sayin'
ticklemepls
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and i think people get too damn butthurt...
dont post something like that if you dont want opinions on it... thats how it is... i do feel bad for her but im also going to state my opinion of things, just how i am.
as in your example.. i've had a lot of people in my family recently die of cancer... doesnt mean i'd go all manic on someone who says smoking contributed, cause in many cases, IT DID... thats just the facts of life... people are over sensitive and seriously personal things like this maybe SHOULDN'T be posted if a discussion isnt something they want to happen
and im not the first to question it either...
Yeah that's fair enough, I didn't mean to sound like I was on the attack or anything btw or taking any moral high ground. I just always kind of defer to sympathy first over questioning.
That's just me though, apart from one person on this thread I don't think anyone has been overly offensive.
p.s. 'Butthurt' is my new favourite word. Cheers for that.
That's just me though, apart from one person on this thread I don't think anyone has been overly offensive.
p.s. 'Butthurt' is my new favourite word. Cheers for that.
ticklemepls
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hahaha wish i could take credit for it... dunno where i picked it up though...
You name it....we don't know how long she knew this guy. Maybe she did the exact same thing as you with the people you met from the forum. So, was she more stupid than you in that situation? No. You were just lucky! That's the only difference!
I myself don't get tired of saying again and again how important it is to make play dates safe, but this is not the right thread to point it out - because it already is too late. Especially since we don't even know if she did everything she could to be safe! So telling her she's stupid for doing it....is pretty damn fucked up!
Plus - even if the play date is safe, you can never give a 100% guarantee that something like that won't happen. That's just a risk you get yourself into when you allow someone to tie you down. Personally, I would never let anybody tie me down who I wouldn't allow to have sex with me, because I just never know if that's what's going to happen. And I am still aware of the fact that the person could do something worse than raping me once I'm tied down. Hell, my own husband could hurt me! Rape most of the time happens between people who know each other well!
So - what do we want to advertise here: Never get tied down, you could regret it?
ticklemepls
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oy vey alright i give up... all i did was point out that WE DONT KNOW ALL THE DETAILS... and as i stated before, if you dont want this kind of topic to crop up- dont post it on such an open forum... its a subject thats bound to happen and im sorry my response wasnt fake like many others 🙂 but i digress 🙂
ticklemepls
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im pretty sure 'criticized' is correct for the record...
and im aware, i dont mind being criticized, but at the same time i dont like people assuming that im saying its her fault or anything along those lines because thats not what i meant (even if it sounded that way....)
ticklemepls
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ok but in fairness, those were not my words, but someone else's... i agreed with the thought but im not the one who said it.... my bad i guess.
May be opening a can o' worms, here...
But has anyone mentioned that there's a good chance that the perpetrator is a member of this forum? Have any of the Mods been contacted about the possibility of identifying him, if, for no other reason than to prevent this from happening to someone else? It stands to reason that he's most likely a member of this forum, or some other similar forum.
The situation as described may be difficult for a successful prosecution, so I can understand if Law Enforcement hasn't been contacted. That decision is up to the victim. But I think it warrants asking that if there's a predator out there, shouldn't other potential victims be warned?
But has anyone mentioned that there's a good chance that the perpetrator is a member of this forum? Have any of the Mods been contacted about the possibility of identifying him, if, for no other reason than to prevent this from happening to someone else? It stands to reason that he's most likely a member of this forum, or some other similar forum.
The situation as described may be difficult for a successful prosecution, so I can understand if Law Enforcement hasn't been contacted. That decision is up to the victim. But I think it warrants asking that if there's a predator out there, shouldn't other potential victims be warned?
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Agreed.
This is one of the reasons I don't play with anyone I'm not sure of. I've played at a gathering before and that was after being with the host and one of the guests for three days (and I was still petrified).
I'm very sorry what happened to you. I do hope you heal and get your power and passion back. You didn't deserve for someone to do that to you at you so you better not be blaming yourself. Find him and bring him to me...I have a family full of women who can make him pay!!!!!!!!
From the little detail we've been given, that's exactly how it come off to me. The man is complete filth for doing that to her, but if they knew each other longer, there might have been warning signs that could have been picked up on. I wanna know if the guy was pushy to have them meet up somewhere of his choosing, that she HAD to be tied to be tickled on the first meeting, that she absolutely could not bring anyone else to the meeting such as her girlfriend.
Did she jump at the chance for this to all happen simply because he was available in the area? If they hadn't met before, how long did they talk online beforehand? Did the guy seem at all pushy about meeting, like there was no patience? Or was he the nicest guy in the world up until that point?
Or maybe she was just oblivious to everything, and let naiveté take over and just assume things would work out for the best?
I'm not going to assume there was in no way any form of precaution that could have been taken simply because we don't have all the info. There are a lot of factors in play here, and whether you think I'm an asshole or not for not just spewing the same "ohh that piece of shit, I'm so sorry that happened, you poor thing, yada yada", which I do believe in that no woman deserves this, I'm just looking at things from another angle.
Anyway, that's all from me. Feel free to to hate on me all you want.
ticklemepls
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Well....what if he was? Personally I don't see a reason why else she would have went through with it although she had a new girlfriend....are there really people who allow someone to tie them down who does things you describe above, especially if they meet them online?
When I met my ler the first time, he assured me that I could say no and stop to anything at any point of time. If he didn't say that, I wouldn't have let him tie me down.
But anyways - it happened! So it is just mute and pointless to ask her "Well, have there been no signs?". Maybe there weren't to her, and if I was her I would sure as hell not tell what was going on beforehand now, because there will for sure be someone to tell her "There, you should have seen it coming...how stupid of you...".
If he was the nicest guy in the world, then I can't fault her, although she still shouldn't have agreed to be tied on the first meeting. I just wonder how he would have reacted had she not so eagerly accepted. But you're right, the whole thing is pointless. It's equally pointless to argue against it however, if that's what you believe. Might as well just say this entire thread was pointless.
Which in the end, it probably was. She should have sent PM's to her personal friends and kept it away from public view to avoid this type of argument. But that was done already, too, and is pointless to bring up, right?
Of course it is.
