Story about me losing a tickle friend of mine

[Em Es]

How many home improvements can one house have?

Who is this guy? Tim Allen?

 

[Leo tickles]

Sounds to me like you killed a win-win situation. The guy came to your house specifically to tickle and have sex, and you didn't have to go out of your way for anything. Now you get nothing, and you still aren't going to his house.

And before or after says something about feelings and trust, chick trusted dude to have a one night stand with him at her house. Emotions are not part of this equation as this was clearly a friends with benefits situation. So, Bump is right. 🙂

 

[gigglemakr]

Hey, GWL2L, in one of your posts you say that you had a number of other "ticklebuddies" where you had gone to their house, but with this one guy you had never been to his house. So my question is: was this relationship particularly special to you, compared to the other "ticklebuddies"? If so, I can understand your frustration although I must say that 5 years is patience overdone. If not, then I'd say you were quite fortunate to have so many "ticklebuddies" to play with over that time period.

 

[rhiannon]

chick trusted dude to have a one night stand with him at her house. Emotions are not part of this equation as this was clearly a friends with benefits situation

A one night stand that lasted for five years? Oh, come on now!

 

[Leo tickles]

A one night stand that lasted for five years? Oh, come on now!

Excuse me, let me reword. A one night stand that turned into 5 years worth of one night stands.

 

[rhiannon]

A one night stand that turned into 5 years worth of one night stands.

IMHO, that doesn't exist. You just can't do that without having the slightest little feeling for someone. Well, maybe guys can....they probably can, when I think about it. Sad but true!

 

[Flatfoot]

IMHO, that doesn't exist. You just can't do that without having the slightest little feeling for someone. Well, maybe guys can....they probably can, when I think about it. Sad but true!

Guys OR women can. I'm inclined to believe that guys WILL have an easier time with it, though. However, if two people ARE engaged in NSA FWB arrangements, and one cannot adhere to the NSA part of the equation, that needs to be communicated instead of perpetuating the relationship in its current state, with the person with deeper feelings lying to himself or herself. However, said person shouldn't expect that this will result in anything more than originally established. In the past, I was involved in such a scenario that I didn't initiate, and the woman in question TOLD me not to worry about expectations, which I didn't. She grew attached while I kept my emotional distance. I guess the point I'm going for here is people should say what they mean upfront, without concealing things under semi-true or outright false labels. I don't know if this was the case here, or not.

As far as the house scenario, I'm sorry to hear the original poster had a disagreement with their FWB over the level of friendship as far as not being able to see their home. Personally, I don't think being a FWB necessarily warrants a family introduction, but if the OP felt the friendship/relationship was something more (I know, 5 years is quite a long time!), I understand her feelings, but I guess the guy didn't reciprocate those feelings.

On the other hand, the guy could have had any number of reasons for not wanting to show his house. Yes, there could have been a girlfriend/wife. There could have also been an embarrassing hoarder scenario, perhaps a roach/rat infestation, or maybe even just a mess that you wouldn't want a woman to see. My house doesn't always stay clean, and when it's not, I definitely do not want visitors who may judge me. We can only speculate on these home improvements/excuses. Thinking about how many people here hide aspects of their lives that they're ashamed of, who is to say what you should be obligated to share with a friend of any level?

 

[rhiannon]

Okay, I know what FWB is, but what is NSA??

And feelings aren't necessarily meant as love, but I mean...a little affection should grow over such a long time, unless you are a person that is just totally cold! Five years!! That's a long time! You DO start to care about someone during that long of a time.

Yes, there could have been a girlfriend/wife. There could have also been an embarrassing hoarder scenario, perhaps a roach/rat infestation, or maybe even just a mess that you wouldn't want a woman to see

I do believe she would have understood that if he just told her!

 

[Flatfoot]

Okay, I know what FWB is, but what is NSA??

And feelings aren't necessarily meant as love, but I mean...a little affection should grow over such a long time, unless you are a person that is just totally cold! Five years!! That's a long time! You DO start to care about someone during that long of a time.


I do believe she would have understood that if he just told her!

NSA stands for "No strings attached." As far as friendly affection, I can concede that a comfortable play/sex partner would warrant some semblance of closeness after five years, but maybe he really had no emotional investment in her. Maybe it was best for her to cut her ties, and maybe he never really thought there were any to cut, in the first place.

As far as her understanding a weird scenario, she'll never know, he'll never know, and we'll never know. Whatever the case, he never wanted her to see his house, and he succeeded.

 

[rhiannon]

Whatever the case, he never wanted her to see his house, and he succeeded.

I guess that's right....it's just really weird. Nothing I would want to lose a friend over, unless I had to lose something more important if I did bring the friend to the house....like a wife and children, you know... 🙂

 

[Flatfoot]

I guess that's right....it's just really weird. Nothing I would want to lose a friend over, unless I had to lose something more important if I did bring the friend to the house....like a wife and children, you know... 🙂

An even darker thought comes to mind for me that reminds me of the movie Disturbia. Then again, that's just a bad sense of humor jokingly speculating.

 

[ElFewja]

I would think that if this was a Disturbia related event then he would have been more inclined to have her over? Well pov I guess.

Also that is a fucking bad movie.

 

[Flatfoot]

Oh yeah, realistically, it's highly unlikely. It's just that my playful imagination can't help but picture this guy to look like David Morse, for some reason. 😀

 

[rhiannon]

I hate it when a discussion makes me google....for something that bad anyways!! 🙂

 

[ElFewja]

I'm sorry that your mind was tainted by that horrible, horrible movie, Rhi =/. I was drug along to see it and just...:

wow, that kid can't act. Wow, this is a total rip off of that other, better movie.. lol.

BAD MOVIES ARE BAD 🙁.

Dude I feel bad that this thread went so off topic. MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU OP! For the original... topic... discussion... thingie. Man, I'm bad at words. 🙁.

 

[Persephone]

First of all, you definitely didn't deserve to be tossed to the curve so rudely by this guy. But you at least had the balls to give him an ultimatum...which many people are too afraid to ever bring up. So kudos to you. You are already giving yourself ample amounts of self respect for ditching this guy.

However letting go of a friendship after 5 1/2 years is a very difficult thing. To have someone in your (not day to day) but weekly [?] life and then just have them CUT out overnight is a tough thing to experience. Especially in a community like ours, where finding a guy to connect with as friends AND also have tickle benefits with is like hitting the jackpot. To have that taken away too is terrible. But again, your self respect is far more important than some one hour tickle play at the local hotel.

All in all, he sounds like a jerk. 5 1/2 years is a LONG ass time to never see his house...I do find that part of the story a bit odd. Even after 1 year of nonstop so-called "home improvement" or repairs or whatever would raise a red flag for me. But probably you could have brushed it off since you were his friend and trusted his word.

But 5 1/2 years is a long time to not go without being taken to his house. Either a) He lives in fucking Versailles ...because it must be that damn big with all those repairs! or b) he does have some kind of secret he didn't want you to find out about.

For a long time he was able to have his cake and eat it too. Now you have taken that away from him. And while you've lost one friend/ tickle buddy...you still have your self respect and a nice guy will always come along in the future 🙂