The cheeziest pickup lines you've ever heard or - god help you - used?

[Lord Doctor]

Just remembered something I heard on a local radio station a few years back, so I thought I'd bring it up here 🙂xlime: There you go, ok bad joke!)

So what are the worst pickup lines you've heard, been subjected to or used?

 

[venray]

"If I told you that you have a nice body would you hold it against me?"


I actually saw a friend of mine use that one and it actually worked.....(ew)

 

[RUNOFFSTAGE]

OH, I've got ALOT of those ;D Let's start with:

"I seem to have forgotten my number, can I borrow yours?"

 

[Lord Doctor]

"Hey I know this classy place where you put money into the bed and..."

 

[RUNOFFSTAGE]

"Oooh, nice shoelaces, wanna make out?"

 

[Snail Shell]

"Hello ladies. Can I offer you sex in exchange for sex?"

Actually used by a friend of mine at a club in Thunder Bay, Ontario. It didn't work.

Snail Shell

 

[Lord Doctor]

"Do I have a chance in hell with you?"

Used in a pub somewhere...
The girl said "Hell yeah!" and buggered off.

 

[RUNOFFSTAGE]

"Does heaven know that one of their angels has escaped?"

 

[Lord Doctor]

Used by a mate of mine at work, on a rather atractive girl... with no success.

"When are we gonna have sex?"

 

[RUNOFFSTAGE]

"Four words is enough - you are hot stuff!" XD

 

[kered]

That's a lovely dress. It would look better on my bedroom floor. *slap*

 

[RUNOFFSTAGE]

"May I have breakfast on your tummy?"

 

[Lord Doctor]

"Would you like a coffee?"
Ancient, old, classic, never works...

 

[kered]

Would you like to see something.....swell? *slap* *slap*

 

[Lord Doctor]

Never used this one, never will either.
"Are you by any chance, horny?"

 

[RUNOFFSTAGE]

Would you like to see something.....swell? *slap* *slap*

THAT ONE was the BEST so far ! XD

 

[Lord Doctor]

This one involved lots of alcohol and didn't go down very well!

"Hello!!!! I look like the Doctor! I believe you want to kiss me!"

 

[chicago]

My name isn't Flintstone, but I can sure make your bedrock.

 

[paracarl44]

Do you want to come up to my place and view my etchings?

 

[kered]

My name isn't Flintstone, but I can sure make your bedrock.

I bet you say that to all the boys..........





Are you a model?? *slap* *slap* *kick*

 

[Bugman]

You must be a parking ticket,cause you have "fine" written all over you.🙄

 

[chicago]

I hope I have my library card, cuz I'ma checkin' you out.

Is that a keg in your pants, cuz I wanna tap that ass.

 

[Hidden-Dusk]

Just remembered something I heard on a local radio station a few years back, so I thought I'd bring it up here 🙂xlime: There you go, ok bad joke!)

So what are the worst pickup lines you've heard, been subjected to or used?

I heard one time something really cute, "if I can't hear your heart beat, then you're too far away."

 

[Lord Doctor]

"Am I pleased to see you or did I just put an umbrella in my pocket?"

 

[Artoo]

Physics pick up line; my friend (a physicist) actually used this, unfortunately, to no avail.

"Does your skin feel burnt? Because I think you must have just fallen down from heaven, and re-entry would have caused some problems for you."