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The Tasteless Joke Thread!!!
- Thread starter DalekNfra
- Start date
-
- Tags
- funny shizzle
A man goes to the doctor feeling unwell - the doctor runs several tests, and then sits the man down.
Dr: 'Mr Smith, I'm afraid you have Aids.'
Mr Smith: 'Aids...Christ, I can't even trust my own kids...'
Cheers, everybody,
SmashTV
Dr: 'Mr Smith, I'm afraid you have Aids.'
Mr Smith: 'Aids...Christ, I can't even trust my own kids...'
Cheers, everybody,
SmashTV
General Zod
Level of Triple Jade Feather
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2001
- Messages
- 70,462
- Points
- 0
What kind of wood don't float?
Natalie Wood
Natalie Wood
Q. What sin did Terri Schaivo commit that made God send her to hell?
A. Sloth
Statistics show that 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
Why are handicapped toilet stalls ironically the only ones big enough to run around in?
Some random woman stopped me in the street today and started telling me a joke. It had all the ingredients of a good joke: child abuse; incestual rape; tears and suffering; but I didn't understand the punchline. Something about 70 cents a day?
I'm not going to tell any racist jokes though, because I'm not racist. Racism is a crime and crime is for black people.
A. Sloth
Statistics show that 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
Why are handicapped toilet stalls ironically the only ones big enough to run around in?
Some random woman stopped me in the street today and started telling me a joke. It had all the ingredients of a good joke: child abuse; incestual rape; tears and suffering; but I didn't understand the punchline. Something about 70 cents a day?
I'm not going to tell any racist jokes though, because I'm not racist. Racism is a crime and crime is for black people.
Filthyweasel
3rd Level Red Feather
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2008
- Messages
- 1,683
- Points
- 0
How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they're dead...
None, they're dead...
Mister Scruff
1st Level Orange Feather
- Joined
- May 25, 2008
- Messages
- 2,048
- Points
- 0
How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None; that's what Mexicans are for.
How many Jews can you fit in a Mini?
2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ashtray.
What's the best thing about 12 year old girls?
Flip them over and you've got 12 year old boys.
What do women and computers have in common?
They both need to have information punched into them.
What's the difference between a woman and a computer?
A computer won't break down if you try to force the connector into the wrong hole.
When is rape not rape?
If death comes before you do.
A woman goes to see a Japanese acupuncturist, claiming that she hasn't ever had sex and she believes that bad chi is the cause. The acupuncturist looks her up and down, rubbing his chin.
"OK, I think I know what is ploblem", he says, "Take off crothes, prease!" The woman does as instructed and gets naked.
"Now, get down on all fours, rike dog!" Again, the woman does as instructed.
"Now, turn alound!" Once again the woman does as instructed. The acupuncturist looks her up and down for a second, before telling her to get up and get dressed.
"Okay, ploblem velly clear now", says the man, "You have bad case of Ed Zachary disease. Velly bad case."
"Ed Zachary disease?!", the woman cries, "What the hell is that??"
"Simple", says the healer, "Your face look Ed Zachary rike your arse!"
And last but by no means least...
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are being taken up in a plane to go skydiving when suddenly a genie appears before them.
"Since there are three of you I will grant one wish each", says the genie, "All you need to do is to leap from the aeroplane, call out a word, and when you reach the ground you will land in a pile of whatever you have asked for."
The Englishman goes first, hollering "GOLD!" as he leaps from the aircraft.
The Scotsman is next; he gets to the door, cries out "SILVER!", and jumps.
The Irishman comes last. Standing at the door he closes his eyes, takes in a deep breath, but just as he is about to leap out he sees the ground 40,000 feet below and suddenly remembers he has vertigo...
"OH SHIT!"
None; that's what Mexicans are for.
How many Jews can you fit in a Mini?
2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ashtray.
What's the best thing about 12 year old girls?
Flip them over and you've got 12 year old boys.
What do women and computers have in common?
They both need to have information punched into them.
What's the difference between a woman and a computer?
A computer won't break down if you try to force the connector into the wrong hole.
When is rape not rape?
If death comes before you do.
A woman goes to see a Japanese acupuncturist, claiming that she hasn't ever had sex and she believes that bad chi is the cause. The acupuncturist looks her up and down, rubbing his chin.
"OK, I think I know what is ploblem", he says, "Take off crothes, prease!" The woman does as instructed and gets naked.
"Now, get down on all fours, rike dog!" Again, the woman does as instructed.
"Now, turn alound!" Once again the woman does as instructed. The acupuncturist looks her up and down for a second, before telling her to get up and get dressed.
"Okay, ploblem velly clear now", says the man, "You have bad case of Ed Zachary disease. Velly bad case."
"Ed Zachary disease?!", the woman cries, "What the hell is that??"
"Simple", says the healer, "Your face look Ed Zachary rike your arse!"
And last but by no means least...
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are being taken up in a plane to go skydiving when suddenly a genie appears before them.
"Since there are three of you I will grant one wish each", says the genie, "All you need to do is to leap from the aeroplane, call out a word, and when you reach the ground you will land in a pile of whatever you have asked for."
The Englishman goes first, hollering "GOLD!" as he leaps from the aircraft.
The Scotsman is next; he gets to the door, cries out "SILVER!", and jumps.
The Irishman comes last. Standing at the door he closes his eyes, takes in a deep breath, but just as he is about to leap out he sees the ground 40,000 feet below and suddenly remembers he has vertigo...
"OH SHIT!"
Lord Doctor
4th Level Violet Feather
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2005
- Messages
- 7,885
- Points
- 0
Tasteless jokes? You mean appart from Knock knock... who's there... Doctor... Doctor Who...Who told You?
What you you call an exhausted Trekie?
SHATNERED!
What you you call an exhausted Trekie?
SHATNERED!
Ohhhh shiiiiiiit I forgot about that one. I'm totally going to hell for laughing at that one, as wrong as it is.
john getty
2nd Level Red Feather
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2008
- Messages
- 1,446
- Points
- 0
An Eskimo is driving through the highlands of Scotland when his car breaks down. He makes his way down to the nearest town on foot and enters the local mechanics. He explains his dilema to the Scottish mechanic who replies: "You've probably blown a seal."
To which the Eskimo retorts: "So what, you've probably shagged a sheep!"
To which the Eskimo retorts: "So what, you've probably shagged a sheep!"
General Zod
Level of Triple Jade Feather
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2001
- Messages
- 70,462
- Points
- 0
How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her?
They moved the furniture around?
They moved the furniture around?
What do Nome, Alaska and Blacksburg, Virginia have in common?
Don't do it. Just don't.
<div align="left">
<div style="background-color: black; border: 1px solid black; font-family: sans-serif; font-weight: bold; padding: 10px; text-align: center; text-transform: capitalize; width: 300px;">
They're both minus 33 degrees </div>
</div>
Don't do it. Just don't.
<div align="left">
<div style="background-color: black; border: 1px solid black; font-family: sans-serif; font-weight: bold; padding: 10px; text-align: center; text-transform: capitalize; width: 300px;">
They're both minus 33 degrees </div>
</div>
rockshock28
1st Level Red Feather
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2009
- Messages
- 1,038
- Points
- 36
Okay, before i say this i'd like to point out i'm not racist, and i'm going to hell for posting this joke, but here goes...
Why don't black people dream?
Because the last one that did got shot.
Why don't black people dream?
Because the last one that did got shot.
john getty
2nd Level Red Feather
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2008
- Messages
- 1,446
- Points
- 0
Kids these days don't know how lucky they are, when I was a kid we didn't have pedophiles, we had to buy our own candy.
FeatherMAN28
TMF Regular
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2009
- Messages
- 255
- Points
- 0
Q:Whats the best thing about "23" year olds?
A:Theres 20 of them
FYI: yes i know this doesnt make sense reading it, but say the joke in your head and you will get it.
A:Theres 20 of them
FYI: yes i know this doesnt make sense reading it, but say the joke in your head and you will get it.
john getty
2nd Level Red Feather
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2008
- Messages
- 1,446
- Points
- 0
Did you hear about the Englishman who had an inferiority complex?
He didn't think he was better than everyone else.
(No apology needed, I AM English)
He didn't think he was better than everyone else.
(No apology needed, I AM English)
