• If you would like to get your account Verified, read this thread
  • Check out Tickling.com - the most innovative tickling site of the year.
  • The TMF is sponsored by Clips4sale - By supporting them, you're supporting us.
  • >>> If you cannot get into your account email me at [email protected] <<<
    Don't forget to include your username

The worst jokes you have ever heard,period.

What did the Zen student say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything.
 
OK, since somebody already unleashed the dead baby jokes...

Q. What's black, white, and red, and can't turn around in an elevator?

A. A nun with a spear in her back.


Q. What's red and green and goes 200 mph?

A. A frog in a blender.

Boy, junior high was bad!
 
What did the leper say to the hooker after they had sex









Keep the tip
 
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them
goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in
Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself
to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband
that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds,
"They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
:blaugh:
 
bugman said:
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them
goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in
Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself
to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband
that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds,
"They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
:blaugh:
Click to expand...


lol nice one dude loved it
 
Here's two more from the bad joke hall of fame:

Did you hear the one about the constipated mathematician?

He worked it out with a pencil.

Did you hear the one about the prostitute who went in for an appendectomy?

They sewed up the wrong hole, so now she's making money on the side.
 
What were J.F.K Jr's last words?

If you two women don't shut up,I swear I will crash this plane!!!


What are the famous last words of a redneck?

HEY Y"ALL WATCH THIS
 
One day Mother Teresa is walking around Heaven shortly after she had passed away She was able to get her halo earlier than other people because of her good works with the poor on Earth

One day she sees princess Diana,with what looked like a bigger halo than what Mother Teresa was wearing

Teresa goes to Saint Peter and says"why does lady di have a bigger halo than me?"

"With all the good works I have done,you'd think I'd have a bigger halo than Lady Di"

" I have done more good work in one week than she has done in one year"


Saint Peter looks at Lady Di's halo,then looks at Mother Teresa and says "don't worry,that's not a halo,that's a steering wheel"
 
Two guys walk into a bar. Kinda dumb because when the first hit, the second should have ducked.

Hung Chow calls into work and says, 'Hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.'
The boss says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that. "
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. 'I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon........ You got nice house.'
 
Venray and Kered were relaxing on the front porch when Kered's dog Ol' blue walked up, sat down, and started licking his own balls. Venray watched for a while then said, "Sure wish I could do that."

Kered answered, "I think you better pet him first." :facepalm:
 
A chicken farmer brings home a new rooster in hopes of retiring his old rooster. Upon arrival, the old rooster says to the new one "If you can beat me in a foot race you can rule the roost." The new rooster, a cocky sort, says "Alright old man, lets see what you've got." Old rooster winks and says "first one to make it around the house three times wins. Ready, set, GO!" and they both take off. The first time around the house, the young rooster breezed by the old one. The second lap however, the old rooster starts to catch up and unbelievably passes the young rooster with lightning speed. The young rooster, decidedly ruffled by this, refused to be beaten by an old guy and starts running just as fast as he can. As they rounded the corner of the last lap the young rooster starts catching up when suddenly the farmer shoots the new rooster in the head, muttering "damn, that's the third gay rooster i've bought this week."

How many chipmunks can screw in a lightbulb?
two of course, but how in the hell did they get in there?
 
slacker2114 said:
Two guys walk into a bar. Kinda dumb because when the first hit, the second should have ducked.

Hung Chow calls into work and says, 'Hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.'
The boss says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that. "
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. 'I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon........ You got nice house.'
Click to expand...
Great one Slacker :roflmao::roflmao:
 
OOOOO, OOOOOOO, my turn.

What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A pork chop.

Whats the difference between Cajun food and Creole food?
Cajun food has been dead longer.

What goes clomp, ting-a-ling, clomp, ting-a-ling, clomp, ting-a-ling?
A cowboy looking for his other spur.

Rob
 
slacker2114 said:
Hung Chow calls into work and says, 'Hey, I no come work today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work.'
The boss says, 'You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that. "
Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. 'I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon........ You got nice house.'
Click to expand...

I thought these were supposed to be bad jokes...


I LOL'd on that one!
 
Ok here are some disturbing ones:

What's the difference between a bad dream and a nightmare?
A bad dream is your wife and kids being killed in a car crash...a nightmare is dreaming you're eating chocolate
pudding and waking up with a spoon in your ass.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang a picture of Jesus.

What's the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky's with a feather, perverted's with a chicken.

How do you make a little girl cry in Alabama?
Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree?
A baby nailed to ten trees.

What do anal sex and spinich have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a little boy, you'll probably hate it as an adault.

Why are Catholic school students so good at math?
When they saw that one dude nailed to the plus sign they knew the teachers weren't fucking around.

Who's the first one in the unemployment line in Alabama?
The tooth fairy.

What's better than winning the Special Olympics?
Not being retarded.

What's the best thing about getting a blow job from a 10 year old?
Their little hands make your dick look bigger.

How does a mom in Alabama know her daughter is on her period?
She can taste the blood in her sons mouth.
 
How do you know that you are in an Arkansas Motel Room?



A: When you call the manager and say "I got a leak in my sink".

The manager replies: "Okay, go ahead".
 
giggle-maker said:
.
How does a mom in Alabama know her daughter is on her period?
She can taste the blood in her sons mouth.
Click to expand...

Actually I heard a worse version of this joke:

How does a [insert nationality here] father know that his daughter has had her first menstrual period? He tastes blood on his son's penis.

😀
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
What's New

2/8/2025
Curious about your favorite Celebrities ticklishness? Visit the Ticklish Celebrities sub forum and see if they are listed!
Door 44
Live Camgirls!
Live Camgirls
Streaming Videos
streaming tickling videos on demand at the TMF!
Tickling videos on demand!
Pic of the Week
Pic of the Week
Congratulations to
*** brad1701 ***
 The winner of our weekly Trivia, held every Sunday night at 11PM EST in our Chat Room
Back
Top