Or, you could just wait until you're in a relationship, and discuss it with your partner then. A lot is going to depend on how they feel about tickling, and how you feel about how they feel about it. Otherwise, it's just speculation, with only 50% of the data available.
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Tickling another while in an exclusive relationship- cheating?
- Thread starter TickleMyFancy
- Start date
Or, you could just wait until you're in a relationship, and discuss it with your partner then. A lot is going to depend on how they feel about tickling, and how you feel about how they feel about it. Otherwise, it's just speculation, with only 50% of the data available.
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None of what I'm speaking to touches on any legal aspect of relationships, or such.
My discussion of 'cheating' is strictly about the unique definition that each couple forms through conversation and discussion, or through willful ignorance of said topic.
Rationality is not always a part of this. We've all met men who fly into rages if they discover their partner has spent time talking to another man, in any capacity. We've met women who think that if their guy oggles a woman, or buys a playboy he's somehow cheating her out of his attention and becomes upset.
How people view cheating is tied directly to how they perceive the concept of 'ownership' and 'exclusivity of attention and emotions' in their interactions. As everyone has a different set of definitions, what constitutes cheating shifts also with the people we look at.
The law of course needs to deal in black and whites, so lines were drawn that define the word. Adultery is the very specific word and definition coined just for this. Cheating (blurry concept) is not a cause for divorce, adultery (firmly defined concept) is.
Myriads
My discussion of 'cheating' is strictly about the unique definition that each couple forms through conversation and discussion, or through willful ignorance of said topic.
Rationality is not always a part of this. We've all met men who fly into rages if they discover their partner has spent time talking to another man, in any capacity. We've met women who think that if their guy oggles a woman, or buys a playboy he's somehow cheating her out of his attention and becomes upset.
How people view cheating is tied directly to how they perceive the concept of 'ownership' and 'exclusivity of attention and emotions' in their interactions. As everyone has a different set of definitions, what constitutes cheating shifts also with the people we look at.
The law of course needs to deal in black and whites, so lines were drawn that define the word. Adultery is the very specific word and definition coined just for this. Cheating (blurry concept) is not a cause for divorce, adultery (firmly defined concept) is.
Myriads
Myriads, I agree with all you've said but I think your clear headed logic is lost in the minutia flying back and forth on the meaning of "cheating."
If I spent half as much energy as has gone into this thread arguing with my SO over the meaning of cheating and what actions constitute cheating, I doubt that we would still be together. And the fact that something like this is not discussed doesn't mean that each person doesn't have his and her own internal understanding of what's permissible and what's not and will act accordingly.
My experience in relationships, both those I've been in and those I've observed, is though each partner may enter the relationship with a set of opinions and ideas of what constitutes acceptable and unacceptable behavior within a relationship, all of that is subject to reconsideration and revision based on the actual relationship and the personalities of the people involved.
More often than not, what I've seen is that when one or both partners enters the relationship with a hard and fast set of "rules" or "definitions" or "prescriptions" for acceptable and unacceptable behavior, those tend to be short lived relationships that most often end in acrimony and accusation.
If I spent half as much energy as has gone into this thread arguing with my SO over the meaning of cheating and what actions constitute cheating, I doubt that we would still be together. And the fact that something like this is not discussed doesn't mean that each person doesn't have his and her own internal understanding of what's permissible and what's not and will act accordingly.
My experience in relationships, both those I've been in and those I've observed, is though each partner may enter the relationship with a set of opinions and ideas of what constitutes acceptable and unacceptable behavior within a relationship, all of that is subject to reconsideration and revision based on the actual relationship and the personalities of the people involved.
More often than not, what I've seen is that when one or both partners enters the relationship with a hard and fast set of "rules" or "definitions" or "prescriptions" for acceptable and unacceptable behavior, those tend to be short lived relationships that most often end in acrimony and accusation.
Barney Stubble
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No, that's too broad a criteria. Handshaking, dancing, arm wrestling, even the shampoo girl at the barber shop. These are all physical activities that only a few fringe lunatics would consider cheating.
The criteria for cheating basically falls under two categories. Category One is that which is universally accepted by society at large as cheating. Sex, romance, nudity, sleeping together, etc. I'm talking about things that don't need to be discussed because they are so obvious. Blowjobs, handjobs, making out, the grouping of private parts. You get the idea.
Category Two would consist of gray areas that are considered taboo not by the majority, but by a significant minority. Things like going to lunch with a co-worker of the opposite sex. Most wouldn't care, but for others that's uncomfortably close to dating. Giving somebody a massage. Slow dancing. These are kinds of things that need to be negotiated and agreed upon by BOTH parties, before they can be said to qualify as cheating. Tickling would fall into this category. And if no agreement has been negotiated, it's fair play.
Emishticklish
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With me personally I would def consider it cheating. Because I'd be getting some sort of sexual gratification even if there's no intent. If that makes sense.
giggle-maker
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If you get turned on by tickling someone other than your sig-oth, combined with an uncofortableness in telling your sig-oth, I would consider that cheating. Just my own humble.
Flatfoot
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As previously stated, it all boils down to communicated boundaries between couples. It's pointless trying to get into objective technicalities on something that can generate irrational jealousy. We have a unique interest, that for many here, gets us off. I'm not gonna claim that there aren't people who can separate their erotic tickling from playful, but for something with such a touchy gray area, it's probably not a good idea to do it if it upsets your partner, as they can't read your mind or know your intentions. Irrational or not, that's not one of the battles you'll win by being stubborn, since one person will always be unhappy in the scenario. Everyone deserves to be happy, but it should never be at the expense of someone else's happiness.
DontAskJusTckle
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Tickling is cheating?? 
Just when I thought I'd heard it all!
Just when I thought I'd heard it all!
