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Who do you know has the worst smelling flatulence?
- Thread starter maniactickler
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maniactickler
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kered said:
Thank god for chinese food!
maniactickler
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kered said:We're having Mexican today. I'll keep you posted.
Anything to report?
goddess_nemesis
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Found this on a site and thought I'd share it with my flatulent-loving friends! 😀
Talk about explosive flatulence! 😛
Talk about explosive flatulence! 😛
kered
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I believe that is Maniac (in his superhero days) saving the world from one of the frequent alien invasions.ticklingnemesis said:Found this on a site and thought I'd share it with my flatulent-loving friends! 😀
Talk about explosive flatulence! 😛
Here is a picture taken on one of his vacations.
maniactickler
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kered said:
Yes, there are many past photos of me floating around the internet. and i must say, they do bring back some great moments in my life. thanks for the memories my friends.
goddess_nemesis
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Types of Farts
Some you probably already know and some you probably didn't but can add to your flatulence vocabulary! 😀
I have to say, I have more Plain Janes than any others!
Plain Jane: One-second duration, nice resonant reverberation, and pungent odor cloud with a nearly instantaneous 5-foot radius. Your standard, everyday, friendly fart.
Beefy One: Sounds loud and butch, e.g., 'BRAAAMMPPP!' Smells like a cross between a decaying meadow muffin on a hot day and a fresh dog-turd.
Eggy: Smells very much like rotten eggs (or hydrogen sulfide). A powerful odor which tends to put people off lunch. Often rips out in the fashion of a Bunbuster (see below).
Bunbuster: 'BRAAAP!' Sounds something like a Beefy One, except much more sudden and much more powerful. May smell either eggy or beefy. Leaves your asshole smarting. You really feel these babies.
Ripper: Sends seismic ripples to the next town. Rips the seams in the crotch of your pants. This fart genuinely hurts, and you can still feel it 20 minutes later. Anyone sitting nearby may experience hearing loss.
Diesel: Sputters to a start, but then keeps putt-putting along spewing out an endless cloud of dirty, noxious fumes.
Surprise!: You didn't even know that it was there, but suddenly . . . 'BRRMP!'
Gunshot: Sounds just like a gunshot. Unbelievably loud indoors. Hard to believe that this emanates from between your buttocks. Bullet explodes into billions of virulent odor molecules. Gunshot farts are relatively rare but, like guns, very dangerous.
Squeaky: Puny and unsatisfying. Sounds a bit like a muffled 'Wheeeek,' but smells foul.
Worrier: The kind that seems to be a fart right up to the point at which you release it. At this stage, matters become less sure, as it feels too solid for comfort. You go to the bathroom and check your underpants at the first possible opportunity.
Poopie Prelude: It feels like it's going to be a large beefy one, but out comes a tiny little squeaker fart plus the head of something massive. You tense your buttocks fast, lest you give birth to the brown equivalent of a zeppelin.
Present: The type of fart that seems harmless, but then brings a small poop as a housewarming gift. You shuffle off to the toilet and give thanks you weren't in a business meeting or job interview when it happened. If you were, you're screwed.
Burble: Bubbly! Sometimes messy too.
SBD (Silent But Deadly): Totally inaudible but somehow causes all the occupants in a room to collapse. Smell is undefined because nasal investigators haven't had time to analyze the odor before passing out. (This one is also known as SBL: Silent But Lethal and Toxic Assassin.)
GNL (Gambled 'n' Lost): You take a gamble that it's going to be a fart and stay where you are, but tragically come to realize that this is much more than a fart... Next big gamble: do you put your underpants in the laundry basket and hope your wife won't notice, do you wash 'em out yourself, or do you throw 'em away?
Hydrated: The original wet fart, which leaves a mark on your pants and gives you a cold wet sticky sensation when you walk. Try to avoid this one if you're wearing white trousers.
Not Now Please!: You feel the presence of a mighty fart but are unable to release it due to your situation (first date, new customer, important business meeting, etc.). You clench your buttocks together so hard you nearly have a stroke, and wait for the pressure to subside. Success depends upon a number of factors, but in the end you're probably going to have to face the music (literally). Or you can try the stealth approach (see below).
Who, Me?: You let it out as silently as possible and nobody hears it. You discreetly take deep sniffs and smell nothing. You think you got away with it. But 30 seconds later, as if released from a stasis field, everybody starts to cough and splutter. You point to the person next to you and try to look innocent.
Waker-Upper: The first fart of the morning. All that broccoli, beans, and beer you had for dinner last night has decayed and fermented into about 1,000 ml of noxious gas just dying to escape from your rectum. Whether you let go under the covers when you first wake up or hold it until you're taking your early morning pee, releasing that first fart of the day feels oh, so good and sets the tone for the whole day.
Electrical: Sound like they have some juice in them.
Dutch Oven: A fart you make in bed -- any kind at all -- followed up by holding your partner's head under the bedclothes so that he/she can get the full effect of it. Good for moving a stalled divorce process along. Very bad early in your marriage.
Some you probably already know and some you probably didn't but can add to your flatulence vocabulary! 😀
I have to say, I have more Plain Janes than any others!
Plain Jane: One-second duration, nice resonant reverberation, and pungent odor cloud with a nearly instantaneous 5-foot radius. Your standard, everyday, friendly fart.
Beefy One: Sounds loud and butch, e.g., 'BRAAAMMPPP!' Smells like a cross between a decaying meadow muffin on a hot day and a fresh dog-turd.
Eggy: Smells very much like rotten eggs (or hydrogen sulfide). A powerful odor which tends to put people off lunch. Often rips out in the fashion of a Bunbuster (see below).
Bunbuster: 'BRAAAP!' Sounds something like a Beefy One, except much more sudden and much more powerful. May smell either eggy or beefy. Leaves your asshole smarting. You really feel these babies.
Ripper: Sends seismic ripples to the next town. Rips the seams in the crotch of your pants. This fart genuinely hurts, and you can still feel it 20 minutes later. Anyone sitting nearby may experience hearing loss.
Diesel: Sputters to a start, but then keeps putt-putting along spewing out an endless cloud of dirty, noxious fumes.
Surprise!: You didn't even know that it was there, but suddenly . . . 'BRRMP!'
Gunshot: Sounds just like a gunshot. Unbelievably loud indoors. Hard to believe that this emanates from between your buttocks. Bullet explodes into billions of virulent odor molecules. Gunshot farts are relatively rare but, like guns, very dangerous.
Squeaky: Puny and unsatisfying. Sounds a bit like a muffled 'Wheeeek,' but smells foul.
Worrier: The kind that seems to be a fart right up to the point at which you release it. At this stage, matters become less sure, as it feels too solid for comfort. You go to the bathroom and check your underpants at the first possible opportunity.
Poopie Prelude: It feels like it's going to be a large beefy one, but out comes a tiny little squeaker fart plus the head of something massive. You tense your buttocks fast, lest you give birth to the brown equivalent of a zeppelin.
Present: The type of fart that seems harmless, but then brings a small poop as a housewarming gift. You shuffle off to the toilet and give thanks you weren't in a business meeting or job interview when it happened. If you were, you're screwed.
Burble: Bubbly! Sometimes messy too.
SBD (Silent But Deadly): Totally inaudible but somehow causes all the occupants in a room to collapse. Smell is undefined because nasal investigators haven't had time to analyze the odor before passing out. (This one is also known as SBL: Silent But Lethal and Toxic Assassin.)
GNL (Gambled 'n' Lost): You take a gamble that it's going to be a fart and stay where you are, but tragically come to realize that this is much more than a fart... Next big gamble: do you put your underpants in the laundry basket and hope your wife won't notice, do you wash 'em out yourself, or do you throw 'em away?
Hydrated: The original wet fart, which leaves a mark on your pants and gives you a cold wet sticky sensation when you walk. Try to avoid this one if you're wearing white trousers.
Not Now Please!: You feel the presence of a mighty fart but are unable to release it due to your situation (first date, new customer, important business meeting, etc.). You clench your buttocks together so hard you nearly have a stroke, and wait for the pressure to subside. Success depends upon a number of factors, but in the end you're probably going to have to face the music (literally). Or you can try the stealth approach (see below).
Who, Me?: You let it out as silently as possible and nobody hears it. You discreetly take deep sniffs and smell nothing. You think you got away with it. But 30 seconds later, as if released from a stasis field, everybody starts to cough and splutter. You point to the person next to you and try to look innocent.
Waker-Upper: The first fart of the morning. All that broccoli, beans, and beer you had for dinner last night has decayed and fermented into about 1,000 ml of noxious gas just dying to escape from your rectum. Whether you let go under the covers when you first wake up or hold it until you're taking your early morning pee, releasing that first fart of the day feels oh, so good and sets the tone for the whole day.
Electrical: Sound like they have some juice in them.
Dutch Oven: A fart you make in bed -- any kind at all -- followed up by holding your partner's head under the bedclothes so that he/she can get the full effect of it. Good for moving a stalled divorce process along. Very bad early in your marriage.
maniactickler
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Great list! the "gamble and lost" release is very close to my heart. thank god im not married! 
maniactickler
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kered said:I let a few solid 6's loose at coffee this morning.
Coffee and a few 6's. the perfect way to start the morning!
goddess_nemesis
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Man, gotta bump this back to the front again!
The way to do that is to tell about the wonderful aromas I released today! Quiet but oh, so, aromatic!
The way to do that is to tell about the wonderful aromas I released today! Quiet but oh, so, aromatic!
maniactickler
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kered said:Is this the perfect woman or what!!!
No doubt in my mind!
goddess_nemesis
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oh you guys, stop it! you're making me blush! 😛i had a few nice ones today. not the best, but they were decent! 😀
maniactickler
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ticklingnemesis said:
i had a few nice ones today. not the best, but they were decent! 😀
You still get an A for effort!
ticklingnemesis said:Found this on a site and thought I'd share it with my flatulent-loving friends! 😀
Talk about explosive flatulence! 😛
....So THAT'S how those explosions are set off after Power Rangers morph. Morphing gives em gas!
ticklingnemesis said:Hey, who said I couldn't cook! I make a mean, couple of fried egg sandwiches! LOL!
Which I've been eat a lot of lately and are wonderful for creating some wonderful fragrant flatulence!
And you're both a lee and a ler? .....Marry me!
...or if I'm too young for ya, then hopefully ya have some family in CA ! (hey ya said it runs in your family..maybe bein a lee/ler does, too! lol)
goddess_nemesis
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He-Man said:And you're both a lee and a ler? .....Marry me!
I dunno! I am the Princess, so you may have to get King Maniac's permission first.Maniac! What do you think? 😛
maniactickler
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ticklingnemesis said:
Maniac! What do you think? 😛
Hmm...how old is this he-man gentleman? i will give my permission to you if hes under 30. and what is his flatulent experience? this is an important factor in my decision.
goddess_nemesis
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HEY, don't scare my suitor away! 😀 😛kered said:
Unless you know of another suitor better than he. 😀
goddess_nemesis
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😱 That's not true!kered said:
They love me for my flatulence! 
