Forgive the inserts here please people: wherever I have included text in italics and brackets, it means I’m quoting something of my own that cabalist is referring to, because quoting his words alone would require searching back through the thread.
Please also forgive the lengthy content of this post. It was necessary.
🙂
Are you referring to this, from your above post?
( There is to my knowledge at east one piece of evidence removed from one abductee that disappointed on removal because it looked like a shard of glass. It wasn’t however, as it proved conducive to electricity and its structure when studied under an electron microscope was different to glass. Assume it’s a genuine implant, what does it prove? Nothing! It only poses more questions because we can’t explain it.)
For which I've seen you post no source. No, you're not obligated to. You're free to just make vague reference to a "mysterious" glass-like substance which is "different from glass", which the highly credulous might assume "must be" evidence of some kind of an "alien implant" based on nothing but this vague reference. But I suspect that the main reason you've supplied no reputable scientific source proclaiming this "mysterious artifact" as of likely extraterrestrial origin is simply because you have none. So of course it's far easier for you to accuse me of not doing my research than it is for you to offer a reputable source to back up your own claim, if, in fact, you don't have one.
So far as I remember, yes I was referring to that.
Highly credulous = highly uncritical. In other words, no use to any debate that is meant to have some sort of cerebral function. There is no “must” in anything. Evidence yes, but no definite or must.
Have no reference/far easier: What I have nothing of, is desire to present the case for abduction. Apart from anything else I am not up to the job and if I were, I wouldn’t doing it here. Nor am I interested in changing the mind of someone else who has a contrary opinion to me. In my mind, someone who was skeptical but genuinely interested in finding out if there was such a thing wouldn’t be asking me to provide evidence because, you not knowing me from Adam, I could be any old asshole with a total lack of education or presentation skills. Hey presto – one botched argument form me later and all that’s happened is that I’ve done the open-minded proponent side a disservice by giving something to you that is almost as easy to rebut as a sock puppet post.
My main interest is (in the context of the discussion between you and me – which has sadly seemed to pretty much kill this thread deader than dogshit – originally it was a discussion of people who wanted to hear from people they thought had been abducted – not a presentation for and against the argument with a board and chair examining various viewpoints) … oh irony of ironies… dispelling a few myths that seem to have taken root in the skeptical community. Even then I can only refer to other people’s words though, because I am no researcher. Not in this field anyway. You may find it strange to find that I therefore cite Travis Walton (not least because his account has major differences to what I remember) but that article you cited admitted his credibility has stood the test of time and I have yet to see anything laid against him that has not been refuted successfully, many of them from Phillip Klass, who showed just how little class he possessed with his ill-advised rantings and character assassinations about this case. The thing the article pounced on right at the end was that Walton didn’t manage to bring back irrefutable proof from the ship. Not only an unreasonable thing to expect, but highly ridiculous, for reasons anyone should be able to fathom.
Yes, there are urban myths on the “believer” side of things too, that is beyond dispute. Considering how non-communicative and “functional” I have found these “people” to be, I find it rather strange that so many people seem to know exactly what star system they come from, exactly what their agenda is and exactly what their part in the aliens’ plans is.
Classic example: I nearly always hear of the gray aliens referred to as “Reticuleans”. So far as I’m aware, this stems purely from Betty Hill, who reproduced an almanac she was allegedly shown by the Bossman of her abductors and this was some years later, found to fit an arrangement of stars relatively near to Earth. The system indicated as home to the aliens was the binary star we call Zeta Reticuli. (So called because it’s the sixth brightest star, as seen from Earth, in the constellation of Reticulum.)
I’m no professional astronomer, only an enthusiastic amateur, but I don’t imagine it would be terribly difficult to find a star pattern, even one that included binaries, in a galaxy that contains a hundred billion stars. On top of this, Betty Hill doesn’t describe the beings as I would. They’re taller, I think they different color skin, their eyes are different and they spoke out loud. (Although her husband, I think, reported telepathic comms.)
So, assuming that scars and other evidence of minor injuries, as common as they are, are hardly cause for assuming an "extraterrestrial connection", unless I've overlooked or forgotten something in your posts, aside from this one piece of purported physical evidence, a claim for which you've cited no source whatsoever, in fact, you have told us essentially nothing about it except that it "was different to glass" (and I'm sure there aren't many natural or synthetic substances on this planet which are "different to glass"), what do we have in the way of physical or other credible scientific evidence? Anything besides unverified anecdotal accounts?
Do you ever properly read anything I’ve written and actually take it in, or do you just enjoy the sight of your own words?
Just to drive the point home cab…
I am not going to present evidence for the case of abduction. Get that into your head now, because I am getting tired of seeing you post the same thing over and over and over and over again, thus necessitating me having to say that I’m not going to present shit in this thread in favour of scientific or otherwise belief in abductions.
Other people have done so more professionally than I could ever do and with far more credibility than I will have. Read them and then make up your own mind. If you already have done both as much as you wish to, then good for you. Congratulations on having a critical faculty, because too many people don’t. Just stop bothering the shit out of me for it.
Not at all. I meant exactly what I said, quite literally. Your "mysterious" shard of "not-glass" notwithstanding, as far as I can tell the credible evidence for extraterrestrial abduction is exactly the same as the evidence for unicorns, fairies, and the Easter Bunny -- i.e., nonexistent.
Wrong. You are being fatuous. No-one, apart from extremely young children whose minds are completely unquestioning, believes in the easter bunny. Apart from the bedtime stories adults tell them, there is no anecdotal evidence for the Easter Bunny’s existence in physical reality. That you would suggest there is a similarity between it and abduction shows just what a prat you are being. You are making fun, sneering and poking jokes at an extremely serious subject.
Yes, I consider your comparison to be both a sneer and a joke.
I also am very much "open" to the possibility of life elsewhere in the universe. However, it's a rather gigantic leap from "might be life elsewhere in the universe" to the belief that earthlings are currently being, or have been in the recent past, abducted by alien beings.
Yes, it is. A huge one in fact. Life could be anything from protozoa to a brachiosaurus.
In fact, a "not inconsiderable amount of people" might seem to believe in the literal truth of biblical miracles as well. But, let's see, who was it who said:
“Even if you are in a minority of one, the truth is still the truth.”
Or, as a scientist might put it,.it doesn't matter a whit how many people believe something to be true, but in fact, it's only the quality of the evidence that matters.
As for anyone not having "seen compelling evidence that the witnesses are all mass delusional or that they're all lying to make themselves famous", whether or not that's the case, or perhaps I should say, even if that was the case, that would hardly justify belief in farfetched claims for which there's not any actual compelling evidence. That, too, would require a gigantic "leap".
You seem to be suggesting I have an issue with people who don’t believe in abduction. I don’t. I would encourage anyone to keep an open mind, but I would also encourage them to keep a critical one.
In fact, can you name one well-known credible mainstream scientist who has gone on record as claiming he/she believed that the alien abduction "phenomenon" was "real"? I certainly can't think of one.
Ruling out those academics who have written proponent literature I assume?
Scientists are, by their professional natures, people who use systems to find things out, not who consider themselves the instruments of discovery. That rules out personal bias or deceived senses collecting incorrect data.
If, as I’ve already said, a scientific system has yet to provide incontrovertible and irrefutable proof of the phenomenon, then they won’t believe it, because all their conditioning won’t let them. Nor should it.
Perhaps a more pertinent question is: How many scientists are open to the possibility and do not consider it proven that it doesn’t happen, and that certain critiques of prominent cases are heavily flawed and personally biased?
My answer to the above question is, how the fuck should I know? I don’t know any scientists and I’m not a big reader of abduction literature. If you are really that interested in the answer, go out and find it for yourself.
One quite well-known scientist who I believe may have been very "open" to the possibility of life elsewhere in the universe was Carl Sagan, yet I'm quite sure he didn't accord the alien abduction stories any more serious credibility than I do. But I suspect that that fact alone might lead you to question his credibility as well...given your own great (ahem) objectivity in these matters. But I suspect that he was much better qualified to judge the scientific credibility of these claims than a "nut doctor" like John Mack ever was. As I suggested above, I would consider Mack as unqualified in this area as Targ and Puthoff were to judge Uri Geller's purported "paranormal" abilities. (And, as an aside, I might add that his "work" in this field was "officially" regarded as little but an embarrassment to the institution for whom he worked, according to what I've read.)
You really can’t help sneering at me can you? You are incorrect about me. I am as objective as I can be, which is considerably more so than many people who claim to have been involved directly in this. You are also, once again, wrongly assuming something about me. You are, in short, a condescending prick of a person. The reason I dispute some of the things you’ve written, is because more than just us two are reading this, not because I actually give a damn about changing your opinion.
Targ and Puthoff: No idea who they are. I know who Uri Geller is, but don’t have any interest in him.
Carl Sagan: I have a lot of time for him. I’ve read his novel,
Contact, and thought it was an inspired piece of fiction for its era. (One of the few cases where the movie adaption was better than the book though.) Wasn’t too good at predicting the future though: he had hotels in orbit , the Soviet Union still existing and interplanetary capable drives for coffins, yet he didn’t think the internet would be developed enough for scientists to communicate effectively through it. He is skeptical, but he isn’t disrespectful and I’ve never known him to be anything other than objective.
What is there in that, that would make me question his objectivity?
You seem to be blatantly misquoting me here. ( You are personally selective in what you believe, even though you've admitted the most you've done is read about the main cases in no great detail and have chosen to agree with someone who even other skeptics have sometimes distanced themselves from because of his underhand and occasionally dishonest tactics.) Please show me where I've said what you're claiming here? In fact the closest I can recall to saying anything even remotely resembling the words you seem to be trying to put in my mouth here was when I said that it had been awhile since I'd looked into some of these cases and therefore I don't remember all the facts of every case in minute detail. That's quite a bit different from your implication that I never looked into them in any great detail, don't you think? In fact, blatantly misquoting me doesn't exactly contribute to your own credibility. And you're accusing Klass of twisting things? Tsk tsk.
Then let me rephrase and see how the new one sits with you…
You are personally selective in what you believe, even though you've admitted the most you've done is read about the main cases and retained no great detail and have chosen to agree with someone who even other skeptics have sometimes distanced themselves from because of his underhand and occasionally dishonest tactics.
As far as "other skeptics" having "distanced" themselves from Phil Klass, without naming anyone specifically or stating any specific facts about this claim, what enlightenment does it offer on the subject -- that is, other than serving as just another vague ad ad hominem aimed at discrediting someone whose investigations cast considerable doubt on many of these claims?
Considerable doubt? I thought you considered yourself scientific cab? Klass does nothing apart from re-inforce the views of those desperate to believe the die-hard skeptic viewpoint and raise the eyebrows of anyone remotely open-minded.
He is however, the one thing I will allow myself to be drawn on, because of his uniqueness.
A few quotes I can dredge up in two minutes read…
Klass' critics have accused him of using pseudoscience explanations and propaganda techniques to advance his anti-UFO arguments. He has also been accused of being vindictive and resorting to character assassination and other "dirty tricks" against UFO witnesses and opposing UFO researchers. A notable example were his attacks on atmospheric physicist Dr. James E. McDonald after McDonald had demolished his ball lightning theory for UFOs as scientifically invalid.
And…
In his first book, UFO's: Identified, Klass argued that UFO reports were best explained as a previously unknown type of ball lightning. Though initially speculative and provisional, Klass thought that plasma was consistent with many UFO reports: bright lights moving erratically. A highly charged plasma might further explain the reported effects of UFOs on the electrical systems of airplanes and automobiles. Ball Lightning Ball lightning is a natural phenomenon associated with thunderstorms and takes the form of a long-lived, glowing, floating object, as opposed to the short-lived arcing between two points seen in common lightning. ... The word plasma has a Greek root which means to be formed or molded (the word plastic shares this root). ...
Criticism of Klass
Klass's plasma conclusion met with considerable incredulity, even from some pronounced UFO skeptics; Klass was essentially invoking one mystery to explain another. Atmospheric physicist James E. McDonald offered a detailed rebuttal of Klass' plasma hypothesis. In part, McDonald wrote "My most basic objection to his plasma-UFO theory is that he does not confront the fact that the interesting UFO reports do not involve hazy, glowing, amorphous masses, but reportedly sharp-edged objects often exhibiting discernible structural details, carry discrete lights or port-like apertures, and maneuver for time-periods and in kinematical patterns that are extremely difficult to square with his plasma-UFO hypothesis. It also fails to deal quantitatively with parts of the argument that are, in terms of existing scientific knowledge, amenable to quantitative analysis." [2] Dr. James E. McDonald (1920 - 1971) was an American physicist. ... The word plasma has a Greek root which means to be formed or molded (the word plastic shares this root). ...
Klass and McDonald engaged in an often savagely adversarial relationship. Tom McIver writes that "Klass accused McDonald of misusing public funds, resulting in a traumatic government investigation and audit (in which he was cleared, though he committed suicide not long afterwards)."
Klass has been accused of using unfair, baseless "dirty tricks" in efforts to discredit UFO researchers with whom he disagrees. Jerome Clark (a UFO researcher and vice president of the Center for UFO Studies) writes, "To destroy the UFO 'problem' Klass concluded that ufologists should be the target as much as the UFOs themselves. If the ufologists could be publicly shamed or embarrassed on any grounds (not just professional but personal as well), who would take their pronouncements about UFOs seriously?" In politics, dirty tricks refers to duplicitous, slanderous, and downright illegal tactics employed by politicians (or their underlings) to win elections and/or destroy opponents. ... The Center for UFO Studies is an unidentified flying object research group. ...
McIver (a self-described "fellow skeptic") writes that many of Klass's opponents "have been subjected to ... smear treatment. Richard Kammann was a CSICOP Fellow who quit in disgust, appalled in particular at Klass's response to a once-loyal CSICOPer who dared to criticize the botched statistical methods of a CSICOP investigation. Klass's published response to this critic, said Kammann, contained 'so many smokescreens, red herrings, non sequiturs, quotes out of context, and misstatements' that it constituted 'intellectual fraud' if not outright cover-up. Not only did it ignore all the substantive points of the criticism, it was 'one huge ad hominem attack.' Klass 'ignored practically every specific point that [the critic] Rawlins had made. Instead [he] offered blatant ad hominem attack on Rawlins' motives and personality, bolstered with rhetorical ploys--including crude mis-quotation.' Describing his own attempts to reason with Klass, Kammann says: 'The Klass letter started a long and exasperating exchange in which he talked about everything but the statistical errors [the focus of the criticism] and the real cover-up. He kept me busy for a while answering irrelevant questions, while periodically attacking my objectivity, intelligence or integrity. From time to time, he threatened to expose my cover-up of scientific evidence he imagined he had uncovered [and] regularly ignored all my serious answers and questions...'" The Committee for the Scientific Investigation of Claims of the Paranormal, or CSICOP, is an organization formed to encourage open minded, critical investigation of paranormal and pseudoscientific claims from a responsible, scientific point of view. ... Look up red herring in Wiktionary, the free dictionary. ... Non sequitur is German for it does not follow. ... When a scandal breaks, the discovery of an attempt to cover up the evidence of wrongdoing is often regarded as even more scandalous than the original deeds. ... An ad hominem argument, also known as argumentum ad hominem (Latin, literally argument to the man), is a logical fallacy that involves replying to an argument or assertion by addressing the person presenting the argument or assertion rather than the argument itself. ...
In 1983, Klass suggested that, as Clark writes, "that UFO cover-up proponents were serving the ends of Soviet foreign policy." Clark notes that this was a "new wrinkle" "in an unending stream of vitriol from the mouths and keyboards of CSICOP's bombast artists. After all, Klass and his CSICOP colleagues had already characterized us ufologists as antiscience cultists, cryptofascists, mental cases, money-grubbing exploiters, and raving irrationalists, and CSICOP chairman Paul Kurtz had repeatedly assured the press that societal acceptance of anomalies and the paranormal threatens the fabric of civilization." [3] The UFO conspiracy theory is any one of many conspiracy theories in which it is suggested that major world governments (particularly the United States government) have proof that UFOs are the result of alien visitation, but are suppressing this information either for nefarious purposes and/or out of the belief... In religion and sociology, a cult is a relatively small and cohesive group of people (often a new religious movement) devoted to beliefs or practices that the surrounding culture or society considers to be far outside the mainstream. ... Crypto-fascism is when a party or group secretly adheres to the doctrines of fascism while attempting to disguise it as another political movement. ... The Scream, the famous painting commonly thought of as depicting the experience of mental illness. ... Paul Kurtz (born February 12, 1926 in Newark, New Jersey) is Professor Emeritus of Philosophy at the University at Buffalo (SUNY), but is best known for prominent role in the American skeptical community. ... Anomalous phenomena are phenomena which are observed and for which there are no suitable explanations in the context of a specific body of scientific knowledge,. ...
However, Klass's defenders have questioned Clark's objectivity in assessing Klass, beyond their normal differences of opinion regarding UFOs. The men have butted heads on several occasions; in 1984, a series of friendly letters turned sour when Clark thought that one of Klass's jokes was a "death threat". Clark has also been accused of ignoring Klass's explanation on at least one occasion despite the fact that it was endorsed by the participants in the UFO case. Peter Brooksmith writes: "I've long found it interesting too that in his treatment of the RB-47 case in his UFO 'Encyclopedia', which is so admirable in so many other ways, Jerome dismisses Klass's interpretation of the data as a series of unlikely coincidences. But he doesn't mention that Klass presented that interpretation to the RB-47 crew, who agreed that the 'UFOs' were the product of human error & excitement combined with ghost echoes on the radar. This is a key item in Klass's analysis. Surely it was not just dislike for the man that led Jerome to omit it?" [4])
Critics, however, point out that Klass's explanation for the RB-47 case was thoroughly demolished by researcher Brad Sparks, who found, among other things, that Klass had the RB-47 plane sometimes moving at impossible supersonic speeds in order to get portions of his explanation to work. Sparks also disproved the keystone of Klass's thesis, that the RB-47 microwave sensors were miscalibrated because of equipment malfunction. Thus, it is argued, it doesn't really matter if the participants endorsed Klass's explanation or not, since it was bogus.
Questioning the accuracy of the above claims by critics about Klass's character, defenders like to point to instances where Klass behaved in a civil, reasonable manner when debating UFO research. An example given was a 1976 letter to Gordon Thayer (a Condon Report investigator), Klass wrote of his and Thayer's disagreements "there are several more basic issues. For these, I want to give you the maximum possible time to do your 'homework' to dig out the strongest possible supportive evidence for your viewpoint. Thus I shall raise them now to provide you at least three months time to find/locate supportive evidence (if same can be found).”
During one interview, Klass said…
” I never encountered a single hoaxer during my entire 10 years with GE.”
This infers, one assumes, that he prefers to regard UFO sightings as misidentifications or drunken hallucinations. I have personally heard this man say “I believe this was a hoax” when he was being interviewed about a UFO sighting in Texas.
This is the champion of open-minded investigation you so like to admire cab?
Thank you for coming folks, please check your scientific credibility at the door.
But while I won't claim to know what "everyone" in the "skeptical community" may think of Klass, while looking up some information in the course of this thread, I found a rather comprehensive tribute to him, including reprints of many of his articles, at the website of one of the most well-known skeptical publications, the Skeptical Inquirer. Of course, I'm sure you might only regard that as an indictment of them as well, assuming that it's doubtful that anyone connected with that publication considers these farfetched claim as having any serious credibility.
You’re sure of a lot of things you know nothing about, which speaks volumes about how you form your opinions. Still, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt in this case. You did say “might” after all, although I suspect it comes with a shovelful of your condescending irony.
In this case I have no formed opinion of the articles in question until I encounter them directly.
But in fact, I think I'd be quite surprised to find the editors of any particularly reputable mainstream scientific publication taking these claims at face value or even worthy of serious scientific inquiry. The only difference is, some skeptics do bother looking into them anyway, whereas I suspect that many wouldn't even take them seriously enough to even think them worth the trouble. Klass, like Sagan and a number of others, was one who did. But you obviously don't like what they found when they did.
The only thing I’m “obviously” doing is taking apart some of your arguments at the seams.
Phillip Klass and Carl Sagan are not in the same universe so far as their methods and credibility are concerned. Sagan is without doubt the better scientist and has far more credibility. Copernicus’s corpse had more truth in it than Klass did during his life.
Science in general: Science very rarely takes new ideas seriously. Things that are now considered cornerstones of modern medicine were rubbished and “de-bunked” with arrogance and ignorance for centuries by the world’s top medical professionals of the time.
Eventually I think there will be something approaching a half objective study of this by a scientific body of people. It will take time, I am sure, but it will happen.
As I do as well. But how impartial a judge can one be of one's own impartiality, I wonder?
A difficult one obviously. I have stated at least twice that I consider alternative explanations to the proponent theory for my own experiences. I believe I’ve also said that I believe the most realistic alternative to my experience’s reality is the one of self-deception. I believe I am as impartial to my own self as I can be, which is a great deal more than most people are.
However you have made clear some strong possible personal basis for bias earlier in this thread, which I won't attempt to quote verbatim from memory at the moment, at the risk of not quoting you accurately
Too late, you’ve already done it. I have bent over backwards to appear unbiased. I have welcomed skeptical opinions, because I am myself a skeptical person by nature. I have even conceded that although I currently believe the most likely explanation for what I’ve experienced is that it was real, there are alternative theories that I haven’t shut my mind to. What is biased about that?
but I'll just say that you seemed to imply earlier that coming to believe that these experiences of yours may have been "real" may have had what I might call "therapeutic" value to you. While I'm not saying that that's necessarily, in and of itself, a "bad" thing, it certainly does suggest some possible personal basis for bias in what you might wish to believe.
If it seemed that way, then you didn’t read it properly. Either that or I was drunk when I wrote it and mistyped.
I have found the process of exploring my memories and coming to terms with them to be therapeutic, not coming to believe they were real. Coming to believe they were real was a result of the exploration, not the goal of it. Once again, you seem to have made up your mind about something without knowing a great deal about it. I was counting how many times you’d done it, but I’ve only got so many fingers.
So you've said, but still haven't proven. ( I don't think there is much point you posting again in this thread if all you're going to do is make an eighth re-iteration of "there is no physical evidence of UFO abductions" (which isn't true).) But of course I know you don't "have to" prove anything. Nor, of course, does anyone "have to" assume facts not in evidence here or elsewhere, based on nothing but your vague, I might even say evasive, or at least elusive, references.
Again, you show you haven’t bothered to digest what I’ve said. (I’m onto my toes now.)
I have encouraged people to seek out everything they can find on this subject, providing they have the interest and inclination to do so. If someone made up their mind that alien abduction was real based on the little I’d written here I’d seriously worry about the state of their mind.
I've looked at the supposed evidence for years. And thus far I've found none of it credible. And no, I don't expect to convince you of my view. But if this thread is intended for serious discussion, then certainly the credibility of the claims is of some central importance to the issue. And if it is not, then I have trouble taking seriously any claim that this thread might be in any way intended for serious discussion of the topic. Which is fine, if that's the case. But if so, then I think that should be made explicitly clear with some sort of disclaimer...such as, perhaps, "This threads is for entertainment purposes only and isn't to be regarded as serious (scientific) discussion of a true phenomenon"? But I don't think it's reasonable to expect to have it both ways.
If by serious discussion you mean discussion worthy of reporting as evidence in a journal or similar publication, then no it isn’t. But then I never claimed it was. I don’t think anyone else did either.
A disclaimer? Jesus cab, do you treat everything in life as seriously as this? When you go to Burger King or MacDonald's do you ask them if they can scientifically prove that their burgers are as “delicious”, “juicy” and “dripping with taste-bud tingling loveliness” as their posters on the wall claim? Do you then harangue them for days on end for them to provide documented papers proving that they are? My God man you are so far up your own backside you could clean your teeth from the inside.
Ditto. But if you can prove that anything I've said here is an "untruth", then please do so. As far as I can tell, you haven't yet.
If God himself appeared in front of you, parted the ocean, raised a dead person from the grave, healed you of a disease just by touching you and said the Bible was true… every word of it… you still wouldn’t believe him unless he cited a scientific publication that agreed with him. I think what I’ve said has rebutted the points you made that I disagreed with. As for “proof”, I really couldn’t give a shit. I’m not into it for something like this for the reasons I’ve stated above.
No, I don't expect you to prove what you're not able to. As you haven't anything you've said here for the most part, as far as I can tell.
Ooooohhhhhhh…. a stinging and witty go-home line. Obviously a WWE fan as well as someone who doesn't know the difference between choice and ability.
In that case, I will just copy and paste part of my paragraph from above…
I think what I’ve said has rebutted the points you made that I disagreed with. As for “proof”, I really couldn’t give a shit. I’m not into it for something like this, for the reasons I’ve stated above.
IF YA SMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL………………WHAT THE ABDUCTEE……… IS COOKIN’!