Why are Men Sexually Protective of their Young Daughters?

[ObservingEgo]

Little do those idiot fathers know, they're doing more harm than good!! Sexual repression, immaturity, eating disorders, and even major character flaws (mood and personality disorders) are the results of parents being sexually over protective with their children. If you want to protect your daughter sexually you should talk to her about sex, and how the mating game is played and the different types of players... not restrict her from experiencing one of the best pleasures and intimacies life has to offer!!! Instill some confidence and trust in your daughters and they'll have a self-esteem that enables better decision making for themselves throughout their lives, duh! The world could always use more healthier people in it.

 

[kis123]

biologically, since males can opt to take less responsibility, (ie leave as if they never even had the offspring in the first place) the consequence of their contaminations thru bad choices can be far less apparent to the lineage stakeholders.

in life (or in nature) the daughter however, cannot choose a same abandonment outcome as easily as the males (much due to environmental circumstances like attachment, for one) and subsequently, any mistakes in her choice for the gene pool become much more apparent as real offspring that have to be acknowledged and caretook by the family.

a man's mistaken offspring can so much more easily be shoved off as if it never happened (if he chooses). this is realized on such a deep level, that I think it lends itself to internally justifying that double standard you speak of (from the sense of biological consequence to the family gene pool).

Between my father and my son's father walking away from their responsibilities and shoving their "mistaken" offspring as if it never happened, I think you're onto something here. It isn't good, but obviously true because my mother and myself sure couldn't abandon the kids we got to raise by ourselves.

That's why real fathers should watch over their daughters to keep them away from predatory men who may very well likely walk away from the responsibilities they plant in them. A father has the right however annoying it may be to some men, to protect their daughters from this. If he doesn't, he isn't a real father at all and doesn't care for the future and well being of his child, IMO.

 

[kis123]

Little do those idiot fathers know, they're doing more harm than good!! Sexual repression, immaturity, eating disorders, and even major character flaws (mood and personality disorders) are the results of parents being sexually over protective with their children. If you want to protect your daughter sexually you should talk to her about sex, and how the mating game is played and the different types of players... not restrict her from experiencing one of the best pleasures and intimacies life has to offer!!! Instill some confidence and trust in your daughters and they'll have a self-esteem that enables better decision making for themselves throughout their lives, duh! The world could always use more healthier people in it.

You can talk until you're blue in the face and sometimes girls will stil end up with losers; a good man can smell one 100 miles away. It is his job to protect, hell, it's in his true nature to protect his family.

Yes, I agree that sometimes fathers can go overboard because he sees his daughter differently than other women. But I wish I had a father who would've kept some of the riff-raff I used to deal with away. If a man doesn't see a father in the home, he tends to take advantage anyway because there's no accountability and no consequences for his actions. It's easier to walk away from responsibilities that way.

But if my daughter gets stupid and gets pregnant by some clown who thinks he's walking away, he'll be sadly mistaken. There'll be nowhere to run or hide; he'll take care of his seed if he expects to live in peace, I guarantee you that!

Sex is pleasureable, beautiful, and wonderful when the two involved are willing to take responsibility for whatever happens during the relationship including and up to pregnancy. If he's not willing to do that, his best bet is to find someone who's family doesn't care about her well-being and her future. There are plenty of them out here, just don't stop on my doorstep because I and my ex have no intention of making it easy to use my daughter for sex without responsibility.

 

[kis123]

.. real men won't want to date daughters that have pyscho parents like your daughters have...so you don't have anything to worry about pops.

So one day you and Papi will marry and may eventually have chidren. What if you do have daughters? Do you really believe that he'll sit on his easy chair while you daughter dates someone he knows nothing about, hasn't been to your house to introduce himself, and doesn't have the decency to come to the door to pick her up for a date (honking horns from across the street come to mind)?

A real man isn't going to date your daughter underground unless he has less than good intentions for her. You're going to want to know who he is, who are his parents, where are they going, and when will they be home. When she gets home, he'll be on the couch closest to the door asking her how things went while he quietly inspects her for hickies (sp) or whatever. That's what a true father does, makes sure his daughter isn't with someone who will disrespect her and treat her like some sexual object for his gratification. Unfortunately that is what a lot of teenage boys do.

As far as areenactor is concerned, this is a hot-button for him because he has daughters that he doesn't want to end up with schmucks who will use her for sex then throw her away. The fact tha he admitted he wasn't such a nice guy as a young man proves my theory that a daughter is a father's greatest nighmare and a mother's revenge! But in the end every woman knows that she'll choose who she wants to be with, and that's the thing most fathers are simply going to have to deal with.

Wow, it's really early for a Saturday and I've posted three times to the same subject! It's a hot button for me because I have a daughter too and don't want her victimized by some loser who preys on the innocent. I just hope everything I've taught her doesn't go out the window with her first crush.

 

[Ace Riley]

Little do those idiot fathers know, they're doing more harm than good!! Sexual repression, immaturity, eating disorders, and even major character flaws (mood and personality disorders) are the results of parents being sexually over protective with their children. If you want to protect your daughter sexually you should talk to her about sex, and how the mating game is played and the different types of players... not restrict her from experiencing one of the best pleasures and intimacies life has to offer!!! Instill some confidence and trust in your daughters and they'll have a self-esteem that enables better decision making for themselves throughout their lives, duh! The world could always use more healthier people in it.

Sure you should allow them to lead their own lives and teach them the tools to live them well. Doesn't mean you have to stand by while they make the wrong choices. That's bad parenting. If I let my daughter live in a relationship with some skinhead because he gets her panties wet and she's fine with his activities, then who is going to be the one to hug her, wipe her tears and rock her back and forth... when she comes back home... dead from the guys drunk buddy killing him and her over drugs, violence or some petty issue.

The activities some people surround themselves with can be an indicator the the situations they live. Everything needs to be taken with a grain of salt, and my example is clearly on that extreme side, but it's not too uncommon. One can say a parent in that situation is simply overreacting because the guy looks and acts hardcore and he judges him on appearance alone. I know how that's like...

I'm fucking Hispanic in a rather large Caucasian family who lived in a Caucasian state. I'm not stranger to odd looks, and spite, but I was lucky to have an open minded father. I didn't expect that, nobody should expect parents to NOT want to be protective of their children.

I went into my relationship with the intention of PROVING myself as a man, and worthy of their daughter, and it turned out I didn't have to prove anything to them. Relieved?

Sure, but I can't say I would be as trusting with my own children. I could have been a complete douche bag, coming off the internet and meeting this woman. They didn't fucking know me. They trusted their daughter, and that's great. But I could have been a rapist, I could have been a bloody murderer, it fucking scares me how well I was treated, because I wasn't raised in such a clean enviroment.

People are out there, and they can be anybody, and anything, and there needs to be some kind of sense of precaution with young women. They sure can protect themselves from the pain of loss, but they aren't bulletproof, and a daughter, a child is an investment. An investment of the heart... of the soul. Time and sweat and tears and diapers and college tuition and hugs, you're a damn imbecile if you cannot understand why a father would treasure that. Call it jealousy, or psychological whatever.

I call it love for your children. Who the hell is this sexual partner to tell me I can't do that. You're truly priviledged, if you cannot see that. Nobody in this planet is immortal, and too many generations have echoed before us for us to think we somehow know better.

I don't need to have kids to have that wisdom, ya tengo familia. Eso es suficiente para mi.

 

[Ticklee1973]

It's always very interesting to read through topics such as this. I for one only have one daughter and hell there may be one more on the way (we'll find one Thursday). Either way, I thank the good Lord that her father is the way he is. As far as the men out there, I don't give a flying f*** what they think about her father. My only concern is her. I know I'm a female as well but I dare a man or boy to look at her sideways, seriously. If you don't have children, or a daugher, there is NO way you can understand the protection you feel for your children. My daughter is lucky to have a dad and a stepdad now and they both are protective over her, either one would hurt someone if they even tried something outside the boundaries of what they should. And as for our boys, they are on their butts too if they show a disrespectful side to me or any other woman whether it's a relative or not. I really don't care what the biological reason is for fathers being protective of their daughters but if they aren't, I'd really not want to know what happens to these girls as they grow older and realize that the real men in their lives that were supposed to give a rats ass about them didn't. You're right they could end up with losers even if they were raised right but it's my strong opinion that the ones that didn't have a strong male influence in their lives and who were not cared for and didn't have that protection are the ones that go out looking for something to make up for it. Sad but true and I've seen it over and over again unfortunately.

 

[Soda83pop]

I always find it hilarious when people without children respond to these threads.

I have two sisters...their husbands know better than to fuck up. I cant imagine what I will be like with a daughter.

 

[Iggy pop]

I always find it hilarious when people without children respond to these threads.

I have two sisters...their husbands know better than to fuck up. I cant imagine what I will be like with a daughter.

Why do you find this hilarious? Do you think people that have children have insight on these matters? I never saw anywhere posted in this thread that said this question was only for "people that have children." Why should it only be people with children? Maybe it should only be men with daughters between the ages 12-25 responding to this thread?

I am well aware that those that have children may have diffrent point of view, but even people that have children have varying view points.

 

[Soda83pop]

I never saw anywhere posted in this thread that said this question was only for "people that have children."

You quoted my entire post..where do YOU see where I said this question was only for people that had children? All I said was I find it hilarious...and to boot, I have no kids, so obviously I think its okay if people without kids respond.

Now if you inferred that's what i meant than I dont know what else to tell you.

 

[Iggy pop]

You quoted my entire post..where do YOU see where I said this question was only for people that had children? All I said was I find it hilarious...and to boot, I have no kids, so obviously I think its okay if people without kids respond.

Now if you inferred that's what i meant than I dont know what else to tell you.

I apologize for infering, so can I ask why you find it hilarious?

 

[MEKA]

So one day you and Papi will marry and may eventually have chidren. What if you do have daughters? Do you really believe that he'll sit on his easy chair while you daughter dates someone he knows nothing about, hasn't been to your house to introduce himself, and doesn't have the decency to come to the door to pick her up for a date (honking horns from across the street come to mind)?

A real man isn't going to date your daughter underground unless he has less than good intentions for her. You're going to want to know who he is, who are his parents, where are they going, and when will they be home. When she gets home, he'll be on the couch closest to the door asking her how things went while he quietly inspects her for hickies (sp) or whatever. That's what a true father does, makes sure his daughter isn't with someone who will disrespect her and treat her like some sexual object for his gratification. Unfortunately that is what a lot of teenage boys do.

As far as areenactor is concerned, this is a hot-button for him because he has daughters that he doesn't want to end up with schmucks who will use her for sex then throw her away. The fact tha he admitted he wasn't such a nice guy as a young man proves my theory that a daughter is a father's greatest nighmare and a mother's revenge! But in the end every woman knows that she'll choose who she wants to be with, and that's the thing most fathers are simply going to have to deal with.

Wow, it's really early for a Saturday and I've posted three times to the same subject! It's a hot button for me because I have a daughter too and don't want her victimized by some loser who preys on the innocent. I just hope everything I've taught her doesn't go out the window with her first crush.

my thing is this, you can't aviod the fact that your daughter is going to meet an asshole regaurdless of what it is that you do. And thats just a fact, period.

However, instead of chasing away every man that she meets, how about you just trust her enough to know that she will make the right choice in men. If you raise your daughter to have some respect for her self then i seriously don;t think you have anything to worry about because you can not control other people you can only control yourself and if you honestly believe that "protecting" her from men is going to stop her from meeting assholes or whatever the reason is, i really think that your mistaken.

Now unless your daughter is a slut then okay, maybe you need to hide her from men and just say .."well im proctecting her", because if thats not the case then i don't really think that you have to.



A real man isn't going to date your daughter underground unless he has less than good intentions for her. You're going to want to know who he is, who are his parents, where are they going, and when will they be home. When she gets home, he'll be on the couch closest to the door asking her how things went while he quietly inspects her for hickies (sp) or whatever. That's what a true father does, makes sure his daughter isn't with someone who will disrespect her and treat her like some sexual object for his gratification. Unfortunately that is what a lot of teenage boys do


your daughter will be treated like a sexually object if she allows herself to be, if she doesn't repect her self then she'll be treated like a slut. period. Boys don;t make girls do anything that they don;t want to do unless she's been raped, and unless my daughter comes home and tells me she was raped, im going to think shes being a slut at 16 and that just goes for my parenting. And if thats your case, then you need to check with your parenting as well.

So one day you and Papi will marry and may eventually have chidren. What if you do have daughters? Do you really believe that he'll sit on his easy chair while you daughter dates someone he knows nothing about, hasn't been to your house to introduce himself, and doesn't have the decency to come to the door to pick her up for a date (honking horns from across the street come to mind)?[/

again, if your daughter dates guys like that, thats her choice yeah we won't like it, but we won't stalk her and make sure she's not seeing guys like that or make her stop dating all together because that's just rediculious. You can't make her do anything you can only raise her well and hope that she follows suit.

I'm not a parent yet...but you don't have to be to know how to raise a kid

 

[MEKA]

Little do those idiot fathers know, they're doing more harm than good!! Sexual repression, immaturity, eating disorders, and even major character flaws (mood and personality disorders) are the results of parents being sexually over protective with their children. If you want to protect your daughter sexually you should talk to her about sex, and how the mating game is played and the different types of players... not restrict her from experiencing one of the best pleasures and intimacies life has to offer!!! Instill some confidence and trust in your daughters and they'll have a self-esteem that enables better decision making for themselves throughout their lives, duh! The world could always use more healthier people in it.

Absolutly, i agree

 

[Amnesiac]

Here's an interesting idea...

So far all these responses seem to refer to fathers and their reactions to their daughters BOYFRIENDS. The prevailing belief is the desire to protect their daughters from the sexual advances from young men.

But would the same feelings apply to their daughter's GIRLFRIEND? What if the daughter didn't have a taste for men, but other girls? In this case, what would be the harm? There's no way another girl can get the other one pregnant from sex and STD chances would lowER than with boys. And since these men perceive women differently, would they still feel that their daughter sleeping with other girls would be just as nervewracking?

Think about it, your daughter's date is coming over and you're ready to answer the door. The bell rings, you get up to go to it with all the thoughts running in your head; the questions you're going to ask him: "What are your intentions for my daughter? Where're you going? When'll you be back?" You got all the intimidating stares ready to put the fear of God into him so he keeps his hands to himself and then you open the door and...there's a girl in a dress standing in front of you to pick your daughter up.

Are you still in defensive mode? What happens then?

 

[huskys]

This thread turned 'man bashing' pretty quick!!!

 

[tyler_d]

What if the daughter didn't have a taste for men, but other girls? In this case, what would be the harm? There's no way another girl can get the other one pregnant from sex and STD chances would lowER than with boys. And since these men perceive women differently, would they still feel that their daughter sleeping with other girls would be just as nervewracking?

On a subsconscious level, I doubt it would come off equally as threatening to the father because the potential female mate would not be able to cause offspring that could tarnish the family's gene pool.

A horny male candidate (who isn't perceived as much more than just that) poses a seemingly great risk to the family for screwing up their newest biological addition, which would be a baby.

That is because there are two underlying perceptions for the future of the newborn. It either will or will not be poised for a promising future with two congruent parents. Male candidates for a younger daughter often get the hardest judgement passed on them (perhaps due to an overall bad view of young horny males or dirty old men and their respective track records).

Combine that judgemental likelihood with the fact that a younger daughter is more likely to make foolish emotional decisions than an older/wiser version of herself, and it makes more sense why the father feels that he needs to step in to more strongly deter any mistakes.

She could end up with a very long term and serious consequence if her young emotions are left to guide herself and bad candidates are left unchecked. Her poor decision could lead to the responsibility to upbring a new human being in the family's lineage.

If the conditions for doing that upbringing are bad (ie. the need for two good parents -- which is universally seen as the optimal conditions for child-rearing across all or most of our societal constructs), the baby's future is equally dim and that translates to a perceived genealogical difficulty on a very deep unconscious level (especially to a chief stakeholder such as an older father who has already invested much of his life in raising the daughter).

I believe the psychological and social conditionings that cause men to protect their daughters (in a more heightened fashion than normal) actually go way deeper than just society impressing upon them the notion that we should each protect our families with utmost importance.

The instinctive bonds with respect to furthering a strong lineage are fused with these psychological and social underpinnings in a very strong way. That's why I think there is a huge unapparent biological or genealogical factor in the father's highly protective behaviors which are biased toward the daughter. This is so consistently the case too, it almost seems natural (too natural).

 

[giggleygirl25]

i've oftened wondered from observing some of the women in my family and my friends...they have the good paternal role model (or in my family's case my daddy and several uncles who'd break a guy in half if they looked cross eyed at me) ...yet still pick the abusive moron, why???

 

[PainTrain]

This thread turned 'man bashing' pretty quick!!!

Insecurity looms large, eh?


If I ever have a child, assuming it would be female, I would simply teach her the basics, to the best of my ability. Safe sex and the like. Who to look out for, or more specifically, what kind of guy to watch out for. The rest, is up to her.


Practice makes perfect.

 

[tyler_d]

...yet still pick the abusive moron, why???

In a weird and very round about sort of way they might percieve higher value in him due to lack of neediness exhibited on the abuser's part. In contrast, a guy who is all about being nice and catering seems like he is in a position to have to serve which might indicate weakness on some crazy unconscious level.

 

[giggleygirl25]

in a weird and very round about sort of way they might percieve higher value in him due to lack of neediness exhibited on the abuser's part. a guy who is all about being nice and catering seems like he is in a position to have to serve which might indicate weakness on some crazy unconscious level.

i guess that makes sense, i just didn't understand why these women were doing what they were doing...thank you for the insight

 

[kis123]

Meeka:

I've chosen not to quote your last post since it's pretty big so here's my response:

Not one time have I posted the "you're not a parent so you don't have a right to an opinion" rant so let's get that one out of the way. You haven't become parents yet, and I'll guarantee you when you do, many of your opinions will change. You might think I'm wrong in stating that, but I'm not; I used to fight with folks just like you are battling now, but I GUARANTEE, should you have children, you will change your thinking.

You can't completely trust a 16 (let's hope she's that old before she starts dating) girl to be completely secure in her decision makinig ability because that simply isn't true. I'm nowhere near the person I was at 16 and still run into dating issues (I'm more than twice that age). It is the parent's responsibility until that child (yes child) turns 18 to make what decisions are best for the child. The law is on our side on that one; if not, there's the chance you're going to be spending a lot of time in juvenille court if your daughter makes the wrong decision. If the law says I'm responsible for my daughter's decisions until she turns 18 then I'm within my rights as a parent to do what needs to be done until she's 18 AND OUT OF MY HOUSE! Simply put, if he's an a-hole, then she can date him all she wants once she leaves my home, now that is my right to have peace in my house and to protect my family from unsavory characters. If my daughter is stupid enough to screw with some idiot after I've trained her to do otherwise, she'll do it away from my house after she becomes legally responsible for her actions.

And there are plenty of things guys can get girls to do that they might not want to do in the so-called name of "love." You as a young woman know exactly how the game is played. They'll do almost anything to make that guy happy so he won't leave her and you know I'm telling the truth. They'll pretend to enjoy something just because their boyfriend likes it. "If I don't let him, someone else will!" "If you really love me then *fill in the blank here*... So please don't tell me she can't be made to do things she doesn't want to do. How many stories are told on this board about "converting a woman to the fetish?" If you can get a grown woman to do something she initially didn't find appealing, how much more can you get a teenage girl to do it?

And if you don't trust yourself to raise a child that'll avoid idiots (like my daughter does ON HER OWN) then you don't trust your parenting abilities even before you have children-is that what I'm reading from your post? If, I'm wrong, I stand corrected in advance. Parenting is not easy; it's hard if you're doing it right. Your kids are going to hate you because they can't do what their friends' permissive parents let them do. Parrents are way too permissive with their children when they're younger then wonder why their daughters do make bad dating decisions. Parenting isn't for the lazy or cowardly; sometimes you're going to have to stand up to your kid and lay down the law in your home. They're going to fight you tooth and nail but you have to stand your ground; I had to do it with both of my children and I had no one there to help. I had to put up with the "but everyone's doing it!" and my personal favorite "I hate you!" But in the end I persevered, not because I was in some parental pissing contest, but because I knew if I lost this battle, I'd lose my child to god-knows-what in the streets.

I have an open door policy with my children; they can approach me with any subject matter as long as they do it respectfully (and that's a helluva lot more than what I got from my parents). I will be their parent into eternity and demand respect. We talk about sex, dating, drugs, or whatever so-called taboo subject matter that comes up. We've always been that way so if they need their curiosity satisfied, they usually come through me instead of experimenting with things they might not even be ready for.

Case in point; about a year and a half ago, my daughter came to visit me and we were on our way to my sisters. Out of nowhere, she told me she was with a boy and he put a hickey on her neck. My initial gut reaction was to have a fit-instead I told her that I appreciated her honesty and I didn't have to find out on my own. Secondly, I know how it is to experiment at that age, but her father would've had a fit-I told her to consider his feelings before she let some boy put marks on her (I've never been a fan of hickeys-it just marking ownership on someone, IMO). I told her that if this is someone she's going to have a relationship with, me and her father need to meet him asap. I didn't put a gun to her head, I didn't throw a tantrum, and I didn't beat her down emotionally and make her feel badly about herself for doing something natural. I just want to know who she's doing it with. Funny, she lost interest with him shortly afterwards. As I said before, it's all in the approach; if I would've gone overboard with it, she might still be with that guy today (who she found out was a player and a druggie). And she hasn't had hickey marks on her since. She's in college now; her grades are better than they ever were in high school and I couldn't be prouder of her. We have our disagreements and battles, but we love each other very much and she tells her friends that "my mom's my best friend and I tell her everything." That's a high honor to me.

What do I have now as a result of non-permissive non-cowardly parenting? Two happy, well-adjusted, non-drug-addicted, virgins waiting for the right person to be with (preferably marriage, but not necessarily so) instead of used up with bunches of babies to take care of. One is 17 beginning her sophomore year of college; my son is 21 and disabled but now is in independent living with a roommate and goes to work every day. He was the one I nearly lost to the streets when he was 15; he wouldn't have lasted 5 minutes in juvenille detention!

It's not about chasing away and stalking dates, it's about letting any potential date know that we have our daughters' back and she's not goinig to be taken advantage by him without being put on notice. If he doesn't respect anyone else, he'll respect her or deal with her parents, plain and simple. Any parent who just lets their daughter in the world with just anyone simply is a fool!

 

[MEKA]

Meeka:

I've chosen not to quote your last post since it's pretty big so here's my response:

Not one time have I posted the "you're not a parent so you don't have a right to an opinion" rant so let's get that one out of the way. You haven't become parents yet, and I'll guarantee you when you do, many of your opinions will change. You might think I'm wrong in stating that, but I'm not; I used to fight with folks just like you are battling now, but I GUARANTEE, should you have children, you will change your thinking.

this is as far as i read because this thread isn't getting anyone anywhere and frankly im just getting bored with it. So im just letting you know that i didn't read all that you just wrote. So let me just say this..you can't guarantee anything that i'll do with my kids because you don't know me from a can of paint. I know that i won't be that kind of parent, so please, don't try and take me down that "just wait until you have kids" road. If i tell you one thing, then thats just what it is. And when i said that statement about me not having kids i wasn't actually saying that you, sorry about that. And i do think that what you're stating is wrong, and just because you have faught with people who may think like me, but im not easily swayed..i say what i mean and i mean what i say always.


And if you don't trust yourself to raise a child that'll avoid idiots (like my daughter does ON HER OWN) then you don't trust your parenting abilities even before you have children-is that what I'm reading from your post?

i did read that section and no thats not what you're reading from my post. What i ment by that was if i did find out that my daughter was sexually active at a young age then i would blame my parenting for that, not the boy she was sexually active with.

and just so that you know i most likely won't be responding in this thread again because we're just going to keep going in circle around eachother stating our opionions that we both don't agree with so why bother.

 

[Capnmad]

Just a thought.

I'm not taking sides, but here are my general thoughts.

There are no guarantees that anyone will change their thinking about anything once they have children. Some people do, some people do not.

In my experience, those who do not change their thinking upon having children (from when they were without them) have failed to reprioritize their lives despite a striking new responsibility. The focus remains on themselves.

The children of those parents whose thinking does not change, therefore, often wind up where I work -- at a residential treatment facility for troubled youth.

Maybe some people already have the proper parenting mindset before they have children, and need change nothing. If so, more power to them. But I suspect they are very rare.

Whatever you do, folks, take care of your kids, and remember, they need more care and attention than you do if you're a well-adjusted, self-sufficient adult -- so put them first.

If you're not a well-adjusted, self-sufficient adult, please don't have kids.

 

[jaba]

I'm not taking sides, but here are my general thoughts.

There are no guarantees that anyone will change their thinking about anything once they have children. Some people do, some people do not.

In my experience, those who do not change their thinking upon having children (from when they were without them) have failed to reprioritize their lives despite a striking new responsibility. The focus remains on themselves.

The children of those parents whose thinking does not change, therefore, often wind up where I work -- at a residential treatment facility for troubled youth.

Maybe some people already have the proper parenting mindset before they have children, and need change nothing. If so, more power to them. But I suspect they are very rare.

Whatever you do, folks, take care of your kids, and remember, they need more care and attention than you do if you're a well-adjusted, self-sufficient adult -- so put them first.

If you're not a well-adjusted, self-sufficient adult, please don't have kids.

What a great post, Cap......I enjoyed reading it, and I agree with it all.....

You know, call it what you want ..."sexually protective", "overly protective", whatever, I have never met a daughter who had nothing but unconditional love for a father who was charged with these labels.....PARTICULARLY as the daughter gets older and and embraces parenting and adulthood themselves......actually, any hate and vitriol I have observed was reserved for fathers who were not around, or not particularly "protective" of their daughters interests, sexually or otherwise......daddy may be an annoyance to the daughter at times, but there's never any doubt where his heart and best intentions lie.....

And folks, if you're looking for 24/ 7 "reasoned rationality" when it comes to a fathers feelings about his daughter , I don't know if you will ever find that.....there's usually way too much "emotionality" involved when talking about the lady who will always be daddys "little girl".....may not always be rational, but it is what it is........

 

[kis123]

this is as far as i read because this thread isn't getting anyone anywhere and frankly im just getting bored with it. So im just letting you know that i didn't read all that you just wrote. So let me just say this..you can't guarantee anything that i'll do with my kids because you don't know me from a can of paint. I know that i won't be that kind of parent, so please, don't try and take me down that "just wait until you have kids" road. If i tell you one thing, then thats just what it is. And when i said that statement about me not having kids i wasn't actually saying that you, sorry about that. And i do think that what you're stating is wrong, and just because you have faught with people who may think like me, but im not easily swayed..i say what i mean and i mean what i say always.


And if you don't trust yourself to raise a child that'll avoid idiots (like my daughter does ON HER OWN) then you don't trust your parenting abilities even before you have children-is that what I'm reading from your post?

i did read that section and no thats not what you're reading from my post. What i ment by that was if i did find out that my daughter was sexually active at a young age then i would blame my parenting for that, not the boy she was sexually active with.

and just so that you know i most likely won't be responding in this thread again because we're just going to keep going in circle around eachother stating our opionions that we both don't agree with so why bother.

Wow, you didn't bother to read the entire post but you think it's boring? Whatever!!!! It certainly sounds like a great way to handle a debate; thanks for sharing your views and not giving credance to those who disagree with you. Maybe I'm wrong and you'll be the exact same way you are when you become a parent; to that I say "good luck!'

It's not about being "easily swayed" by people; you don't know me well enough to even attempt that statement! It's called life and if you don't let it mold, shape, and even sometimes sway you, you don't grow. Things that don't grow become stagnant and eventually die! It's called MATURITY and from that you gain WISDOM; and it's the only way it comes about! Maybe you'll get that in a few years, then again..............

I tried to be reasonable with you like a mature adult, and this is your best response? Wow! It's pretty obvious that reason is beyond some. I know I'm right on this one so you're right, it's not worth wasting another moment of either of our precious time. I certainly can find better things to do with mine.....

 

[tickledorange]

Let's all tell each other how to raise other people's kids. That's what I want to do. 🙄