Why are we so afraid of being "outed"?

[Vigil]

2. This is something that has kept me from "outing" myself to close friends: I don't want them to think that any time I've tickled or been tickled by them that I've been getting off on it. I've experienced tickling all my life, and the largest chunk of it has been with friends. If they were to consider it anything but playful, it would seem that I've violated trust. And there are those who, no matter how much you reassure them, would feel that they've been participating in something sexual with you.

Word.

 

[Soda83pop]

I live more along the same lines as Viper, honestly...I dont fucking care who knows. Granted, my thing is more feet and less tickling, but Im basically outted to everyone. I dont really lose any sleep over it. And people know I can rub my mother in law's feet, or a friend's feet, and it not be the same as prepping my wife's feet for a foot job.

However, I think it depends on the person. Again, Viper and I subscribe to the same attitude. However, I dont expect everyone to feel as comfortable as I do, and dont hold it against them if they dont. A fetish, regardless of its hold on the individual, is still sexual...no one is REQUIRED to walk around with a shirt on that says "Tickle Me, it makes me wet."

By the same token, there is a time and place for everything...I dont bring up feet while Im working on servers for the financial institution I work for. Also, as an example, as anyone that goes to my myspace page can attest to, most of my friends there are in the adult industry in some facet. Occasionally I assist them in many different ways, be it hardware, software, web pages...I was actually supposed to start working on some projects on set this year. I dont necessarily volunteer that information either...not out of shame, but just the fact that its really none of anybody's business. I also dont name drop in conversations to audiences that dont need to hear it ("Im working on something for *insert name of starlet here*) and I talk to my clients in environments where no one can over hear what is being said out of respect and privacy to them. But if someone puts two and two together and ask me, I dont hide it either. Its just a conversation I dont need to have. And I suspect that is how it is for some people here...if a person gets caught, then you fess up and move on with your life. But there is no need to volunteer the info, UNLESS you feel you need to. But that is something you need to work out for yourself and your own conscious.

It also needs to be mentioned that some of the members here have families they have to provide for and they truly cant risk something even as tame as this being leaked about them for fear of losing their jobs. And if that is the case, then their reasoning should be respected as well. It is easy to talk shit when the only person you have to provide for is yourself.

 

[Cavum]

Personal I don't give a fuck what others think about me.
Im not hiding the stuff I like eighter. My fetish and BDSM life
is such a big side of me so moust friends know about it. I don't
use unnessesery energy of hiding who I am. I am the one I am.
People can eigther deal with it or get out of my life. Simple as that. 😉

 

[way2ticklsh]

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[catman7]

I personally have only "outed' my tickle kink to one girlfriend.She had some kins of her own, so I thought she would be open minded about it...and she was. Unfortunately, she's seeing someone else now.

 

[huskys]

It looks good on paper..err..HTML..

However, the reason that it isn't as "hardcore" as other kinks out there may also be why many folks are apprehensive. Think about it like this..

Person who babysits friends kids confides in friend that they have tickling fetish. Due to inability to understand and/or infamous snap judgements, that person is automatically a sicko and probably worse. Especially with kids involved, they will think they are getting their kicks from tickling the kids.. even if it's not true.

Tickling might not be as 'hardcore' as getting a cucumber shoved up your asshole, but it's still a fetish for many-- and many vanillas need to be approached carefully at risk of possibly being shunned or worse.

Lot of sense in this post as well!!!

 

[tickledorange]

You tell the wrong people, they tell EVERYBODY! There's some people who just don't need to know certain things, ya know?

 

[CrazyTickler]

My opinion

I think that since most people associate tickling with children and teenagers its tough for most to understand why adults would do it and like it, I just think people do look down on it because of that.

 

[Paultickler]

Unfortunately, even in our current "enlightened" age, there are people out there who will use such information against you. Not all kinky peeps - tickling, BDSM or whatever - have the luxury of being able to be 'out' and not suffer consequences.

[rant on]
Speaking from a North American societal perspective, sex in general is still something to be 'ashamed' of, rather than being treated as a normal, healthy adult human function. Having it treated by certain groups of people (read: religious right) as something that 'should be confined to the sanctity of marriage' and within certain restricted parameters of activity/positions creates anxiety, paranoia and what I call the "holier-than-thou" attitude.

When kink - in ANY form - is thrown into the mix, all hell can break loose. There have been cases where people have lost their jobs/careers or families and had their reputations ruined all because some narrow-minded jackass went digging into information that was none of their business and broadcast it to the world. The reaction expected is one of "shock!" "horror!" "My God, what sex fiends!" et cetera because many people can't (or aren't supposed to) handle ideas that are outside the proscribed norm.

People are scapegoated and humiliated, their right to privacy compromised and for what? For doing something that half these hypocritical jackasses are probably indulging in themselves?
[rant off]

Ahem...however... 🙂

There are certain areas where things are beginning to change. There are kink-friendly professionals popping around the place (example: psychiatrists that won't diagnose your kink as something abnormal). Groups and events are being held in open environments (think Folsom Street Fair or the recent Vancouver Pride Parade).

Artoo's closet analogy hit the nail on the head. Kinky people are effectively at a point today where gay people were about 20 years ago. Things will (hopefully) change for the better.

Getting back to the point - tickling seems to be seen as a 'lighter' fetish because of the connotations of the activity itself. It doesn't involve conventional pain, it's something that can yield silly and amusing reactions and it's something most of us used to do (or have done to us) as kids.

From a personal perspective: I don't feel the need to broadcast my predilections to the world at large, but I'm hardly keeping it locked up, so to speak. It's just part of me as a human being (same goes for all of us). Not to mention that being somewhat open about it can effectively pull the teeth of the opposition.

Just my 4 cents. 😀

I hate the right win!

 

[Paultickler]

I'm not.

Honestly, I don't give a fuck.

I interviewed a new model yesterday at a Starbucks - I KNOW people heard out conversation - talking about bondage, tickle torture, and forced orgasms - and we got some weird looks - but who cares?

If you don't like me, stay away. It's that simple.

you're very brave!

 

[Paultickler]

my town is small.
there is no one here who knows about the tickling community.
i feel alone here.
to be "outed" is a terrifying possibility.
i would be an outcast.
that is the only downfall of my tickling life.

yeah i understand you!


but the thing is that we should be togheter on all of this, even when we don't know each other, to show the other people that we aren't alone!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Paultickler]

Here are two other possible reasons people might not divulge their fetish:

1. There are those who consider tickling fetishism to be perverting something innocent. To most people, tickling springs to mind something done between a child and its family, two friends, etc. It's something done without sexual intent behind it. And to think of it as something other than purely fun is dirty, and wrong.

2. This is something that has kept me from "outing" myself to close friends: I don't want them to think that any time I've tickled or been tickled by them that I've been getting off on it. I've experienced tickling all my life, and the largest chunk of it has been with friends. If they were to consider it anything but playful, it would seem that I've violated trust. And there are those who, no matter how much you reassure them, would feel that they've been participating in something sexual with you.

Then again, the people I've outed myself to haven't supported either one of these misconceptions, and in fact have been totally interested. So in the end it comes down to:

3. paranoia.

there's a problem for me 'cause tickling really turns me on!

 

[Paultickler]

Great post!!! Especially #2-personal privacy. The "I don`t give a fuck" attitude might work if you are employed at Burger King, Wal Mart or Viper Productions, but many of us simply can`t afford the risk of damaging our career. Some people in this forum may have a hard time understanding this logic, and I can respect that but as a wise man once said, "it is what it is."

I don't give a fuck either I play MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I support viper!

 

[Paultickler]

I think that since most people associate tickling with children and teenagers its tough for most to understand why adults would do it and like it, I just think people do look down on it because of that.

I'm 21 do you think I'm on time yet?

 

[Paultickler]

how do you think that models lead with it?