melanie2
4th Level Blue Feather
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2007
- Messages
- 5,992
- Points
- 0
not that it's anyone's business how much i post..i thought i got away from that pettiness when i left the tmf..seems not though..why i sometimes seem to post non stop...although i have quit living in the past as i used to do..sometimes i have nightmares..and these nightmares are filled with images of my past...the tragedies i've endured...in those nightmares i can feel my dead baby coming out of me..and landing in a bedpan..in those nightmares i see my father taking his last breath..thanking me for helping him..saying he would never forget what i did ever..in those nightmares i see my dead mother..at 66 pounds..after a two month ordeal of slowly starving to death..in those nightmares i see my fight with myself as i refuse over and over to have that life saving operation which i finally was forced into getting three years ago.
so to get those images from my mind..i post..i post so i won't have to think..in fact i just finished a year's worth of anti biotics for a rare infection, due to the wisdom tooth extraction i had over a year ago...so sometimes i post to forget the pain of that..as it was a pain filled year..and a distorting one at that..as the infection made my lower jaw swollen for months..but it's over now..finally..
so that's why i post mindlessly at times..
so to get those images from my mind..i post..i post so i won't have to think..in fact i just finished a year's worth of anti biotics for a rare infection, due to the wisdom tooth extraction i had over a year ago...so sometimes i post to forget the pain of that..as it was a pain filled year..and a distorting one at that..as the infection made my lower jaw swollen for months..but it's over now..finally..
so that's why i post mindlessly at times..