What would you do for the one you love?

[Canadian_Eh]

Hey guys,

Just out of curiosity, If someone who meant the world to you and was your everything asked you to give up this place and everyone in it, would you do it for them? ... I realise that alot of you of you are going to respond with "if they love you, they will never ask that of you" but i'm thinking more basic right now, Is it something you would consider? .. I would love to hear your thoughts!

 

[ParanoidChant]

Probably, yes.

I could think of a number of scenarios where a loved one could feel very uncomfortable with your involvement in a community like this, and after all, if you really loved them, then you'd probably want to honor their wishes, right?

 

[Canadian_Eh]

Exactly Chant,

That's kinda where my head space is at too... I appreciate you telling me your thoughts!

 

[After_Shock]

Hmmm...

Well if your loved one asked you to do this, first talk it out with them and get an understanding of whay and discuss your views. relationships are built and maintained off healthy conversation, but if it came down to it and they still felt they wanted you to leave you have to follow your heart and do whats best for you and your relationship.

 

[goddess_nemesis]

If my boyfriend whom I love so very much asked me to leave this place and everyone here, then I couldn't do it. If he can't accept my fetish for tickling, then we're not meant for each other. Tickling is a part of me, something I enjoy very much, I can't just turn it off. Plus, I've been on here for so many years now and have made many friends that it would be unfair of him to ask me abandon them. I care about my friends here and wouldn't give them up.

Luckily my boyfriend understands my fetish, is fine with me visiting here, and willingly tickles me.

 

[Canadian_Eh]

If my boyfriend whom I love so very much asked me to leave this place and everyone here, then I couldn't do it. If he can't accept my fetish for tickling, then we're not meant for each other. Tickling is a part of me, something I enjoy very much, I can't just turn it off. Plus, I've been on here for so many years now and have made many friends that it would be unfair of him to ask me abandon them. I care about my friends here and wouldn't give them up.

Luckily my boyfriend understands my fetish, is fine with me visiting here, and willingly tickles me.

I totally agree with you! ... They should accept you for who you are... but I kinda meant more along the lines of if they weren't comfortable with all of this, and were sort of "going through the motions" and pretending to be so, would you make it a little easier on them and not have to make them ask you to give it up? ... If this wasn't so much a "part of you" but more of like a playful thing that you could do without if need be...

That may have come out wrong... but I meant "do without it" in reguards to the actual fetish, not the friendships.

 

[slacker2114]

I absolutely would not. First of all, I've been a member of this forum and chatting with members here longer than I've known my current girlfriend. I have never kept this site a secret from her and even recently have tried including her in discussions about the people here. I've even made plans for gatherings and such that include her.

Therefore, if she were to suddenly say "you have to leave and stop talking to the people from the forum", I'd have to show her the door. It sounds harsh, but the reality of it is this forum is a part of my life. And it's not all about the fetish. I can find tickle stuff anywhere on the web (though nowhere near the amount collected here). I would view her asking me to leave akin to asking me to stop hanging out with my friends, which is something I would never do. Friends are the family that you choose to surround yourself with and no one should ever try to take that away from you. And that is exactly how I see it.

Like I said, it may sound rather harsh, but understand where I'm coming from on this. I've had many different girlfriends over the years. But my friends are the one thing that has always stayed fairly consistent in my life. They were the ones that were there to cheer me up if needed when the gf and I split. That's why the friends in my life hold that slight edge in my life. So take this as you will.

 

[goddess_nemesis]

I totally agree with you! ... They should accept you for who you are... but I kinda meant more along the lines of if they weren't comfortable with all of this, and were sort of "going through the motions" and pretending to be so, would you make it a little easier on them and not have to make them ask you to give it up? ... If this wasn't so much a "part of you" but more of like a playful thing that you could do without if need be...

They were uncomfortable with it and were "going through the motions", then we need to have a serious talk because I want him to be honest with me about his feelings and talk things through.

If this wasn't a "part of me", then I probably could give it up. But I still wouldn't give up the friends I made here. I'd keep in contact with them outside of here. Because like I said, it would be unfair of him to ask me give up everything, including the people, the friends I made.

 

[Canadian_Eh]

I absolutely would not. First of all, I've been a member of this forum and chatting with members here longer than I've known my current girlfriend. I have never kept this site a secret from her and even recently have tried including her in discussions about the people here. I've even made plans for gatherings and such that include her.

Therefore, if she were to suddenly say "you have to leave and stop talking to the people from the forum", I'd have to show her the door. It sounds harsh, but the reality of it is this forum is a part of my life. And it's not all about the fetish. I can find tickle stuff anywhere on the web (though nowhere near the amount collected here). I would view her asking me to leave akin to asking me to stop hanging out with my friends, which is something I would never do. Friends are the family that you choose to surround yourself with and no one should ever try to take that away from you. And that is exactly how I see it.



Like I said, it may sound rather harsh, but understand where I'm coming from on this. I've had many different girlfriends over the years. But my friends are the one thing that has always stayed fairly consistent in my life. They were the ones that were there to cheer me up if needed when the gf and I split. That's why the friends in my life hold that slight edge in my life. So take this as you will.

I completely agree with you, Slacker...

As some of you know this post is coming from a real life situation.. Slacker, i'm sure the only reason he hasn't asked this of me is because he knows this isn't so much a fetish thing for me, but that I am making REAL friendships.. He knows that you guys are helping me through a very hard time right now and how much you all mean to me!

 

[slacker2114]

If this wasn't a "part of me", then I probably could give it up. But I still wouldn't give up the friends I made here. I'd keep in contact with them outside of here. Because like I said, it would be unfair of him to ask me give up everything, including the people, the friends I made.

Likeasnot though, the main reason would be the friends you've made. Some people have very jealous tendencies and can't stand the thought that you're talking to other people online, even if it's just innocuous chat. So most likely, if they ask you to leave, they want the friends gone as well, which brings me back around to my original statement in this thread.

 

[Canadian_Eh]

I REALLY don't want you guys to get the wrong impression here, he hasn't asked me to leave or sever ties.. I'm thinking of it as more of a "worst case scenario" .... He DOES support me being on here cause he knows I have made some really awesome friends!

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

If you had asked me a year ago, I would have said I absolutely would give it up. At that time, my involvement in the community was extremely limited. I only talked to a few people, didn't post often, and had never been to a gathering/munch/other event within the community. It didn't mean that much to me. It was fun to come here and flirt and goof around, but I could have let it go.

Now that I'm here and involved and I see the absolutely amazing people you can meet and experiences you can have, I wouldn't give this up for anybody. That, of course, is much easier to say when you're single and you don't have anything invested in a relationship.

To try to put myself in your shoes, when I was with Michael, we were engaged and had been together for 6 years. If he had asked me, after I got involved in the community, to leave it for him, I would have said no. This place and the people mean too much to me, and although I know you said you don't exactly want to hear this, but the fact that he would ask me to give up something I love would really exhibit his selfishness, and I don't want to be with someone like that.

So, basically, no. I wouldn't give this up for anyone.

 

[Sanhael]

A lack of acceptance of this forum is not necessarily a lack of acceptance of a partner's fetish, or of tickling, or of anything else of the sort.

I can easily see how a person might not want their boyfriend or girlfriend to indulge in a closely knit community revolving around what is, for said boy/girlfriend, a sensual/sexual activity.

Some people might not feel particularly comfortable with that. A very human, if somewhat immature response might be to try and see, through forcing the issue, whether they come first in their boyfriend/girlfriend's eyes, ahead of this forum.

Offhand, I'd say that some communication is needed on the subject, before a straight answer is given.

 

[Canadian_Eh]

If you had asked me a year ago, I would have said I absolutely would give it up. At that time, my involvement in the community was extremely limited. I only talked to a few people, didn't post often, and had never been to a gathering/munch/other event within the community. It didn't mean that much to me. It was fun to come here and flirt and goof around, but I could have let it go.

Now that I'm here and involved and I see the absolutely amazing people you can meet and experiences you can have, I wouldn't give this up for anybody. That, of course, is much easier to say when you're single and you don't have anything invested in a relationship.

To try to put myself in your shoes, when I was with Michael, we were engaged and had been together for 6 years. If he had asked me, after I got involved in the community, to leave it for him, I would have said no. This place and the people mean too much to me, and although I know you said you don't exactly want to hear this, but the fact that he would ask me to give up something I love would really exhibit his selfishness, and I don't want to be with someone like that.

So, basically, no. I wouldn't give this up for anyone.

Thanks for your opinion Lyz, you know how much it means to me.. I'm really lucky I am able to call you a friend <3 ILY!

 

[Canadian_Eh]

Well if your loved one asked you to do this, first talk it out with them and get an understanding of whay and discuss your views. relationships are built and maintained off healthy conversation, but if it came down to it and they still felt they wanted you to leave you have to follow your heart and do whats best for you and your relationship.

You're absolutely Right Shock,

Following your heart would be the best way to go - however, it may also prove to be the most painful way as well... I guess it would be something you would have to brace yourself for, incase it happens. - Thanks for always being there for me <3

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

A lack of acceptance of this forum is not necessarily a lack of acceptance of a partner's fetish, or of tickling, or of anything else of the sort.

I can easily see how a person might not want their boyfriend or girlfriend to indulge in a closely knit community revolving around what is, for said boy/girlfriend, a sensual/sexual activity.

Some people might not feel particularly comfortable with that. A very human, if somewhat immature response might be to try and see, through forcing the issue, whether they come first in their boyfriend/girlfriend's eyes, ahead of this forum.

Offhand, I'd say that some communication is needed on the subject, before a straight answer is given.

I understand, and it's perfectly natural for someone to feel uncomfortable with their S.O. attending events and playing with others. Essentially what you're saying is, "I want to go to a city far far away, and have people put their hands all over me." (assuming you're a lee). That is a very scary thing for someone who doesn't understand. I don't blame people who are nervous about their S.O.'s being involved, and I don't blame people for giving up the TMF and the community to please their S.O.'s. It's just not something I would do.

 

[Canadian_Eh]

A lack of acceptance of this forum is not necessarily a lack of acceptance of a partner's fetish, or of tickling, or of anything else of the sort.

I can easily see how a person might not want their boyfriend or girlfriend to indulge in a closely knit community revolving around what is, for said boy/girlfriend, a sensual/sexual activity.

Some people might not feel particularly comfortable with that. A very human, if somewhat immature response might be to try and see, through forcing the issue, whether they come first in their boyfriend/girlfriend's eyes, ahead of this forum.

Offhand, I'd say that some communication is needed on the subject, before a straight answer is given.

You bring up an excellent point! - Thank you for helping me see things from his perspective... He is getting more comfortable with it, but he is still not crazy about gatherings... The thing I have a hard time remembering is that it was only a few months ago that even TOLD him about the TMF.. I think I forget that for a "vanilla" that could be an bit of an adjustment peroid. Thank you for your comments!

 

[KrazieDog]

I absolutely would not. First of all, I've been a member of this forum and chatting with members here longer than I've known my current girlfriend. I have never kept this site a secret from her and even recently have tried including her in discussions about the people here. I've even made plans for gatherings and such that include her.

Therefore, if she were to suddenly say "you have to leave and stop talking to the people from the forum", I'd have to show her the door. It sounds harsh, but the reality of it is this forum is a part of my life. And it's not all about the fetish. I can find tickle stuff anywhere on the web (though nowhere near the amount collected here). I would view her asking me to leave akin to asking me to stop hanging out with my friends, which is something I would never do. Friends are the family that you choose to surround yourself with and no one should ever try to take that away from you. And that is exactly how I see it.

Like I said, it may sound rather harsh, but understand where I'm coming from on this. I've had many different girlfriends over the years. But my friends are the one thing that has always stayed fairly consistent in my life. They were the ones that were there to cheer me up if needed when the gf and I split. That's why the friends in my life hold that slight edge in my life. So take this as you will.

QFT! This is exactly as I see it. And if that thinking cost me a relationship, I assure you, that is not the kind of person I'd want to be with in the first place. Trying not to include or shutting out your SO is a different ballgame, as well as if you are "flirting" or indulging those who don't care about your SO or the fact you have one are legitimate grounds for them not wanting you to be on here. We are all grownups, whether we act it or not, around here and know when there is lines we shouldn't be crossing, and your SO's feelings need to be kept in account.

But to answer again the OP's question, no, should my girlfriend come to me tomorrow and tell me to drop it and the friends I've made here, that go beyond the virtual world, she would have just said goodbye. Just the way it is, but then again, anyone that close to me would have known how important my close friends are to begin with.

 

[Bugman]

If this wasn't a "part of me", then I probably could give it up. But I still wouldn't give up the friends I made here. I'd keep in contact with them outside of here. Because like I said, it would be unfair of him to ask me give up everything, including the people, the friends I made.

It would be tough,but i could give up the forum given the right cirmstances.But if in addition to that i could not stay in touch with my friends then no.That's asking too much.I would never ask anyone to do something like that.If said person can't understand that and extend me the same courtesy then it's best that we part ways.

 

[Miss Serendipity]

While I understand that a "vanilla" person can definitely feel uncomfortable with their significant other being involved in gatherings and all. I cannot and will not shut out this part of my life nor the friends I have made here.

take this for what you will but you must understand that even if this person meant the world to me, asking me to give up this place would be like asking me to deny who I am and I cannot do that! Had you asked me this a year ago, when I had no connections to really sustain me, I would of had no problem leaving

Now hell no. tickling is very much a part of me and that will never change, even if I decided one day to leave the forum. If my SO ever told me I had to leave this forum and the people here then they would be saying goodbye. I will not be giving an ultimatum when it comes to any relationship. no matter how close that person is to me. with that said it goes without saying that anyone who is that close to me would already know how much said people meant to me.

This may not make any sense or it might sound harsh but I've lived my entire life hiding who I was and I won't do that anymore. I've search far and wide for the friends I have today and I will never give them up!

 

[CrystalLight]

Hey guys,

Just out of curiosity, If someone who meant the world to you and was your everything asked you to give up this place and everyone in it, would you do it for them? ... I realise that alot of you of you are going to respond with "if they love you, they will never ask that of you" but i'm thinking more basic right now, Is it something you would consider?

No, I wouldn't even consider it.

Who is he to try to ask me to throw something away that has come to help me in ways I could never imagine? What about him is so special that I could discontinue coming to a place where I can openly talk about something I've more or less had to "deal" with since I was a child?

Who says he's forever, anyways?

This isn't directed at you. Just how *I* would react.

 

[Capnmad]

If push came to shove on love, I'd give up the Forum in a heartbeat -- but not the friends I've met through it. If they can't handle me having friends from here, then they're not strong enough to love me.

 

[xSamanthax]

I've been married for 10 years so I have a bit of a different perspective.

I would give it up in a heartbeat if it were causing pain to the person I love most in this world. My husband, and our relationship is absolutely precious and irreplaceable to me and is more important to me than an internet forum, tickling itself or even friendships.

Now, if it were a new relationship, my answer might be different.

 

[xionking]

What would I do?

I'd stay out of her way in the kitchen, before and after dinner.

-Xionking

 

[BellaRisa]

Not to be overly dramatic, but I'm an only child with a single parent, and I've already lost my mom and it damn near killed me; with my amazingly full of WIN grandma being 88 next month frankly it's only a matter of time before my blood family simply is no more. No one is ever taking this family away from me, life is too short and love is too precious to even entertain that notion

And I have to say, if you can handle a relationship with crazy little me in the first place you're not the type to fret over a forum like this anyways

Basically, I'll do nearly anything for love. I won't do much for jealously and needless insecurity.