What would you do for the one you love?

[tkpatience]

interesting question. I think it would have to be someone a little more important than just someone that meant the world to me to consider leaving.

Though if it were a spouse/extremely significant other, then it would be much more likely.

I'm not sure what relationships are like in Canada, but US marriages have like a 50% divorce rate.

If it was a spouse or extremely significant other, yes. If it was someone important, no.

 

[xionking]

What would I do?

I'd stay out of her way in the kitchen, before and after dinner.

-Xionking

Actually, make that like...the 3 meals of the day. In fact, the kitchen is all her's.

Looove yoooou.

-Xionking

 

[kis123]

As usual, my take is slightly different.

What I do with my free time is my business; also choosing to share that with anyone is my business as well. Right now there is no one in my life I would share this forum with regardless of relationship. In my twisted mind, it's my forum and my life and no man will EVER control me again!! In other words, unless we are on our way to the altar, he will NEVER know about the TMF; even under those circumstances, it'll be difficult for me to tell him. If he doesn't like it or think I'm some sort of freak, then we're done. After a 10 year marriage with full frontal honesty and having my intimacies thrown at me during arguments like emotional blackmail, I'm done with it all. The TMF is my most intimate secret place; it's become my core over the last 5+ years and don't see the need to share it with anyone; it's none of their business! Besides, I've said things on this forum I wouldn't say to just about anyone else; I don't want him going through my post history at all!

Now having said all that, I have to accept that there may be some areas of his life he isn't extremely forthcoming to let me in on. I can't dish it out without the willingness to take some back. So without taking this thread away from the OP, I have a question for those of you who would not leave this forum at your partners request:

If your partner was into something you didn't like or understand, would you give them the ultimatum? Would you tell them it's a dealbreaker in the relationship? Surely if you covet the TMF in the manner you obviously do, would it be okay for them to do the same to you? This is strictly out of my dark curiosity-not being critical in any way. But sometimes, when the shoe gets placed on the other foot or the situation drops in your lap, the result changes.

Just wondering.......

Oh and to the OP, I think the better question is why your partner even have to ask you to leave the forum in the first place? Are you spending too much time here and not with your partner? Are you going to gatherings alone and leaving your partner behind? Are you incorporating this world into your relationship, or are you leaving your partner on the outskirts? A partner wouldn't demand you to leave something unless he/she feels it's complicating the relationship in some way. That is unless you have someone like my ex who was domeering and controlling to the point I couldn't have anything or anyone in my life unless he liked them--and that included family.

I'm not talking directly about your partner; all "you's" in this scenario are hypothetical and on a general level.

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

I've always been of the opinion that, if someone loves me, they also accept who I am. If they were to try to make something of me that isn't me, then it's not really me that they love. I'm more than willing to work on my many faults. But, I don't see this as a fault. It's an integral part of who I am. It would be like cutting off my right arm. I'd survive. But, I wouldn't function the same without it.

It's a good thing Drew & I are of like mind in this. Come to think of it, it's also a FUN thing!

 

[Mephistopheles]

I'd probably not tell her anyway, so she couldn't ask me to give up this place.

 

[slacker2114]

If your partner was into something you didn't like or understand, would you give them the ultimatum? Would you tell them it's a dealbreaker in the relationship? Surely if you covet the TMF in the manner you obviously do, would it be okay for them to do the same to you? This is strictly out of my dark curiosity-not being critical in any way. But sometimes, when the shoe gets placed on the other foot or the situation drops in your lap, the result changes.

Again, I absolutely would not. To give them that sort of ultimatum that I would not want would make me a hypocrite, which I am not. I would do exactly what my girlfriend is doing for me: I would try and understand it and even participate if possible.

 

[xionking]

Ok, well I wouldn't give up tickling. That's for damn sure. It's a part of me, a part of who I am. In saying that however, who knows? Maybe I'll meet a girl one day who'll get me into something fucked up that I'll like more...like jizzing on fruit or something. I doubt it though.

-Xionking

 

[BellaRisa]

If your partner was into something you didn't like or understand, would you give them the ultimatum? Would you tell them it's a dealbreaker in the relationship? Surely if you covet the TMF in the manner you obviously do, would it be okay for them to do the same to you? This is strictly out of my dark curiosity-not being critical in any way. But sometimes, when the shoe gets placed on the other foot or the situation drops in your lap, the result changes.

Just wondering.......

Now this is something I've thought about over the years; what if one of my partners was into brown showers or some other kink I want nothing to do with, or was into something vanilla that I'd still prefer he wasn't, like hunting or something...we'd have to do a LOT of talking and compromising (someone else poops on you and you BOIL yourself before coming home) but I don't believe I could make a lover/partner give up something he or she truly loved, something that was a part of them, if it wasn't hurting anyone and made them happy and at peace.



A partner wouldn't demand you to leave something unless he/she feels it's complicating the relationship in some way. That is unless you have someone like my ex who was domeering and controlling to the point I couldn't have anything or anyone in my life unless he liked them--and that included family.

With respect, this is something I've seen frequently even if it didn't complicate anything, and the person doesn't even have to be really controlling/domineering; sometimes an otherwise cool partner is just plain freaked out by even the thought of their significant other involved in something they consider odd or wrong or too sexual. I've known guys into spanking who never act on it, only like to look at a video every now and then when their wives or girlfriends aren't even home, and the wives still freak because, and I quote one wife, "It's disgusting and he just shouldn't like it." With a lot of people, anything that makes their partner feel a little removed and alien to them is a no-no, which can lead to disaster because even couples deeply in love have different interests and proclivities. Just sayin'

 

[kis123]

With respect, this is something I've seen frequently even if it didn't complicate anything, and the person doesn't even have to be really controlling/domineering; sometimes an otherwise cool partner is just plain freaked out by even the thought of their significant other involved in something they consider odd or wrong or too sexual. I've known guys into spanking who never act on it, only like to look at a video every now and then when their wives or girlfriends aren't even home, and the wives still freak because, and I quote one wife, "It's disgusting and he just shouldn't like it." With a lot of people, anything that makes their partner feel a little removed and alien to them is a no-no, which can lead to disaster because even couples deeply in love have different interests and proclivities. Just sayin'

Then in that partner's eyes, it's complicating the relationship, isn't it?

 

[BellaRisa]

Then in that partner's eyes, it's complicating the relationship, isn't it?

I'm speaking of actual complication, the husband taking time away from his wife to view videos or overspending on his kink or something along those lines, rather than the only issue being her attitude regarding his interests.

 

[kis123]

I'm speaking of actual complication, the husband taking time away from his wife to view videos or overspending on his kink or something along those lines, rather than the only issue being her attitude regarding his interests.

At the risk of splitting hairs, perception can be reality.

That was really the point I was getting at. All someone has to do is get it in their head, then it turns into a mellodrama. A vanilla can just know this site exists and never take a look for themselves to make all sorts of assumptions that may or may not be true.

There are people who assume sites like this are just about porn; all of us here know that couldn't be further from the truth. But if that parnter gets it in their head that this site can interfere with the relationship, the unreasonable demands ensue. Not saying it's right, but it is real.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

So without taking this thread away from the OP, I have a question for those of you who would not leave this forum at your partners request:

If your partner was into something you didn't like or understand, would you give them the ultimatum? Would you tell them it's a dealbreaker in the relationship? Surely if you covet the TMF in the manner you obviously do, would it be okay for them to do the same to you? This is strictly out of my dark curiosity-not being critical in any way. But sometimes, when the shoe gets placed on the other foot or the situation drops in your lap, the result changes.

Just wondering.......

I think this is a really good question, but probably deserves its own thread

Then in that partner's eyes, it's complicating the relationship, isn't it?

In my opinion, that's not the fetish/interest complicating the relationship. That's the S.O. complicating the relationship by being ridiculously demanding. It's like saying, "Don't fantasize about this, in your head, by yourself, for free, alone...because I don't like it." How ridiculous.

 

[CrystalLight]

If your partner was into something you didn't like or understand, would you give them the ultimatum? Would you tell them it's a dealbreaker in the relationship? Surely if you covet the TMF in the manner you obviously do, would it be okay for them to do the same to you? This is strictly out of my dark curiosity-not being critical in any way. But sometimes, when the shoe gets placed on the other foot or the situation drops in your lap, the result changes.

If he was into pedophilia, then that would kinda be a dealbreaker as I would have his ass in jail.

If he was into something 'legal' that I wasn't into? I wouldn't care, as long as I didn't have to partake in it if I didn't want to.

In my eyes having a kink overlap is just the same as having a different interest in sports, politics or suchlike. Not eveyone's going to mesh.

 

[tulipangel]

For the person I loved, I gave up family, friends, hobbies, fetishes, jobs and more! I gave it all up and became completely dependent on this person because he said "If you love me you will..........."!!!!!

NEVER AGAIN! If a person really loves you, they will take the good with the bad and not ask you to give up things (unless its like crack or something, lol).

True love is accepting a person for all of their imperfections and loving the person for having them.

If someone doesnt accept you for who you are then SCREW them and find someone who does because settling for 2nd best wont make you happy!

TRUST THAT!

 

[BellaRisa]

At the risk of splitting hairs, perception can be reality.

That was really the point I was getting at. All someone has to do is get it in their head, then it turns into a mellodrama. A vanilla can just know this site exists and never take a look for themselves to make all sorts of assumptions that may or may not be true.

There are people who assume sites like this are just about porn; all of us here know that couldn't be further from the truth. But if that parnter gets it in their head that this site can interfere with the relationship, the unreasonable demands ensue. Not saying it's right, but it is real.

Ah, I hear you

 

[kis123]

If he was into pedophilia, then that would kinda be a dealbreaker as I would have his ass in jail.

If he was into something 'legal' that I wasn't into? I wouldn't care, as long as I didn't have to partake in it if I didn't want to.

In my eyes having a kink overlap is just the same as having a different interest in sports, politics or suchlike. Not eveyone's going to mesh.

Let's keep it to the kink because it can get all over the place otherwise. Let's keep it to two consenting adults that don't get off on kids, animals, etc. That way it doesn't turn into a thread of "what if's".

 

[kis123]

Ah, I hear you

I knew if I hung on long enough, we'd end up on the same page!

 

[CrystalLight]

Let's keep it to the kink because it can get all over the place otherwise. Let's keep it to two consenting adults that don't get off on kids, animals, etc. That way it doesn't turn into a thread of "what if's".

Okay. Then omit the first sentence in my post.

 

[kis123]

I think this is a really good question, but probably deserves its own thread

I don't agree; I was looking at it from the "what's good for the goose" standpoint. The OP presented a situation; I felt the converse should be explored as well. What better place than right here?

In my opinion, that's not the fetish/interest complicating the relationship. That's the S.O. complicating the relationship by being ridiculously demanding. It's like saying, "Don't fantasize about this, in your head, by yourself, for free, alone...because I don't like it." How ridiculous.

You're absolutely right and I couldn't agree more. But as I was explaining to bella, perception can be reality. If that SO feels intimidated by this site or finds certain sexual practices deviant, it's going to complicate the hell out of the relationship. Once that happens, here come the "unreasonable" demands. Again I say no partner would even consider ultimatums unless they feel the activity complicates/intimidates/alienates them.

 

[kis123]

Okay. Then omit the first sentence in my post.

I'm feeling a little punchy today.....sorry, that did not come out right.

But it looks like I've detracted the thread so I'm going back to my corner now

 

[storm7400]

For the one I love, I would do whatever I could to make them happy. Any decision I make would always factor in myself, but as long as its within logical reasoning its not a difficult one to make. To me love is a partnership between 2 people and you have to grow together to make it work. With that being said, compromises will have to be made along the way by one or both. Hopefully if each person is committed then these things shouldn't be a challenge. Tough choices and decisions will always come along, but if you are truly in love then you will make these difficult choices and decisions and hopefully it all works out in the end.

I may not be exactly a man of religious faith, but I am a man with faith in certain people. When it comes to someone I love, I will always have all the faith in the world in them personally.

 

[Deadsea7777]

What would you do for the one you love?

A lot of silly things, but leave this place would not be one of them....the TMF is harmless. Now if she asked me to leave the mob,then I will grant her wishes.

 

[Ticklish9's]

Hey guys,

Just out of curiosity, If someone who meant the world to you and was your everything asked you to give up this place and everyone in it, would you do it for them? ... I realise that alot of you of you are going to respond with "if they love you, they will never ask that of you" but i'm thinking more basic right now, Is it something you would consider? .. I would love to hear your thoughts!

I do love this place, and it's been a source of much joy and strength for me over the years, but these are roles that are also filled by her, and if it came down (through some highly unlikely situation) to a choice between an internet web site and my girlfriend, it's not really much of a decision at all I think.


Luckily she dove right in on this place, so no need. :lol:

 

[Morpheus72]

Didn't read all the replies...

...but if my g/f asked me to give this place up, I would in a heartbeat. Most of the friends I've made on here I talk to in other ways/places, so I wouldn't lose them.

Now, if she asked me to give up my tickling and foot fetishes, that I wouldn't do.

Morph

 

[Mitchell]

If a girl I loved, and who loved me, asked me to give up the website and the forum. To that, I would say yes. If, however, she asked me to completely give up my interests of feet and tickling, and never play with her feet, and never tickle her, that I could not do.

As much of a part of my life as this forum has become over the past seven years, I have to think that a girl I loved would take priority over most other things. If, however, she said "I dont ever want you to touch my feet, or to ever tickle me", she would then be completely depriving me of things I have loved for too many years, and would thus not really understand me, or care about my feelings.

I feel that in all relationships, compromise and give and take is needed.

Oh, and as a sidebar, if I met a girl who was afraid of heights, and really didnt want to stand barefoot on a ladder for me, I could live without her standing barefoot on a ladder as well.

Mitch