Ask C.A.B.

[Bugman]

Time to invest in a serious Parka and Magma Insurance.

Of course, brilliant! On a serious note who is your favorite author?

 

[Soda Bobinski]

What does C.A.B. stand for?

 

[C.A.B.]

Of course, brilliant! On a serious note who is your favorite author?

Much too numerous to site just one. But among them: Marcus Aurelius, Sun Tzu, De Sade, and the guy that wrote, "Wash. Rinse. Repeat." on shampoo bottles.

 

[C.A.B.]

What does C.A.B. stand for?

I fear if I told you, the community might never recover from the scandal. shhhhhhh....

 

[Wildtime]

My dog has a question:

Bark, bark, woof, bark, moo, bark, grrr. Woof, bark, woof, bark, bark?

 

[C.A.B.]

My dog has a question:

Bark, bark, woof, bark, moo, bark, grrr. Woof, bark, woof, bark, bark?

Oh, there was a little drummer and he loved a one-eyed cook
He loved her oh, he loved her though she had a cock-eyed look
With her one eye on the pot and the other up the chimney with a bow wow wow
Fa la la la la dee dee bow wow wow

 

[Wildtime]

Oh, there was a little drummer and he loved a one-eyed cook
He loved her oh, he loved her though she had a cock-eyed look
With her one eye on the pot and the other up the chimney with a bow wow wow
Fa la la la la dee dee bow wow wow

Great response, albeit a little bit speciest.

By the way, if my dog is over 18 in dog years, but under 18 in human years, is he still allowed on the forum?

 

[C.A.B.]

Great response, albeit a little bit speciest.

By the way, if my dog is over 18 in dog years, but under 18 in human years, is he still allowed on the forum?

Speaking of being 'speciest'; your dog informs me that he would much prefer be on the Bacon Media Forum, rather than some silly human tickle fetish site. But he thanks you all the same for the invite.

 

[C.A.B.]

The most venerable and mysterious C.A.B. will now receive your questionsssszzzz




*fires up a hookah​

.

 

[draven]

why do people always point at their wrist when they ask what time it is, but they never point at their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? hmm? C.A.B? hmmm?

 

[C.A.B.]

why do people always point at their wrist when they ask what time it is, but they never point at their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? hmm? C.A.B? hmmm?

Pointing to the wrist garners sympathy that the inquirer has no watch. People are remiss to point to their crotch and indicate that they have no pee pee.


* GONG!

 

[chicago]

Do you remember what was life like before trains?

 

[C.A.B.]

Do you remember what was life like before trains?

Yes. It made tying damsels to railroad tracks much less fun.

*GONG

 

[Bugman]

Great Guru, why do we park on a driveway but drive on a parkway?

 

[C.A.B.]

Great Guru, why do we park on a driveway but drive on a parkway?

Anyone caught in an Austin traffic snarl might disagree.



*GONG!

 

[Dussicar]

Why does everybody like Optimus Prime?

He's a pussy and alway has been.

 

[Bugman]

Anyone caught in an Austin traffic snarl might disagree.



*GONG!

True, that. If corn oil is made from corn, what is baby oil made from?

 

[C.A.B.]

If corn oil is made from corn, what is baby oil made from?

Petroleum alkanes squeezed from the hydrocarbonous remains of wee, baby dinosaurs.


*GONG!

 

[C.A.B.]

The most venerable and mysterious C.A.B. will now receive your questionsssszzzz




*fires up a hookah​

.

 

[TJDoom]

Why is the Devil so interested in Georgia?

 

[C.A.B.]

Why is the Devil so interested in Georgia?

Old Nick was seeking a soul to purvey; owing that he was in a bit of a sticky-wicket, and being way behind schedule, thus necessitating unusually flexible bargaining conditions on his part.


*GONG

 

[C.A.B.]

Why does everybody like Optimus Prime?

He's a pussy and alway has been.

It is a little know fact that the transformer's parts were salvaged and re-purposed from industrial bakery ovens and he smells strongly of freshly baked cookies and cake. This makes him especially popular with the ladies.



*GONG

 

[C.A.B.]

The most venerable and mysterious C.A.B. will now receive your questionsssszzzz




*fires up a hookah​

.

 

[Soda Bobinski]

C.A.B. , would you consider your artificial intelligence to be superior to that of both your predecessors : K.I.T.T. & K.A.R.R.?

 

[C.A.B.]

C.A.B. , would you consider your artificial intelligence to be superior to that of both your predecessors : K.I.T.T. & K.A.R.R.?

Without question. But contrary to popular belief, my intelligence is 100% natural; containing no artificial colors, flavours, or preservatives. Entirely organic, carbon footprint negative, green standard-compliant, and totally recycle friendly with six trillion available re-purpose applications. As well, my wit smells faintly of dewy rain forests and freshly minted money.

Conversely, K.I.T.T. was a cheesy '82 Pontiac Firebird that smelled faintly of the Hoff's ass.


* GONG