Ask C.A.B.

[General Zod]

Hey Mr Know It All.

What is the mystery meat they serve at school lunches?

 

[C.A.B.]

Great One, is there any hope for humanity? Any hope at all?

Hope Finklestein
20917 Avenue B
West Newark, N.J.
088891
(201)555-5309

She'll pretty much do anyone.


*GONG!

 

[C.A.B.]

Hey Mr Know It All.

What is the mystery meat they serve at school lunches?

70% Rolled Oats
10% Pork Scraps
5% Chicken Meal
5% Peanut Hulls
8% Ash
2% Denture Grip


* GONG!

 

[C.A.B.]

The most venerable and mysterious C.A.B. will now receive your questionsssszzzz




*fires up a hookah​

.

 

[desdemona]

What do you give thanks for since tis the season 🙂 ?

 

[C.A.B.]

What do you give thanks for since tis the season 🙂 ?

That we have the Season.

*Gong!

 

[TJDoom]

Do you have a war cry when taking on a project?

 

[C.A.B.]

Do you have a war cry when taking on a project?

"...Lemme see your War Face!!!..."

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[squeak toy]

do these pants make my butt look fat?

 

[C.A.B.]

do these pants make my butt look fat?

Quite the contrary, they have a magnificent slimming effect on you. You may indulge Häagen Dazs at will.

* Gong!

 

[Bugman]

Keeper of All Knowledge, why is it that when a small object or tool is dropped it rolls or bounces to dead center under a car, or behind the heaviest piece of furniture?

 

[C.A.B.]

Keeper of All Knowledge, why is it that when a small object or tool is dropped it rolls or bounces to dead center under a car, or behind the heaviest piece of furniture?

Because the Universe... it be laaaffin at choo. Hear dat? It laffs n' laffs n' laffs. Lawd haf mercy!


* Gong!

 

[C.A.B.]

The most venerable and mysterious C.A.B. will now receive your questionsssszzzz




*fires up a hookah​

.

 

[BrightEyes1082]

Who did you have to bang to keep this out of Silly Stuff this whole time?

 

[C.A.B.]

Who did you have to bang to keep this out of Silly Stuff this whole time?

The list of ruination is too lengthy and scandalous for delicate sensibilities to conceive.

* Gong!

 

[BrightEyes1082]

Delicate sensibilities? Gimme a break. 😛

 

[C.A.B.]

Delicate sensibilities? Gimme a break. 😛

The three fates have spoken, "You'll get nothing and like it."

*Gong!*

 

[BrightEyes1082]

You can't tell me what to like. Well, you can tell me all you want,
but I will never listen. 😛

 

[C.A.B.]

The most venerable and mysterious C.A.B. will now receive your questionsssszzzz




*fires up a hookah​

.

 

[desdemona]

How do you like your new violet feather??? How many SSF posts did it take you to achieve your new rank?

 

[C.A.B.]

How do you like your new violet feather???

Oh it matches my new stripp-ed socks most bodaciously.

How many SSF posts did it take you to achieve your new rank?

None. I wrote a check to the TMF Feather Rank Commission directly.

*Gong!

 

[Bator]

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

 

[C.A.B.]

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If one also considers that justice is blind; the session could be called a "Helen Keller." Anything less wouldn't be Juris Prudent.


*Gong

 

[BrightEyes1082]

Who put you in your place (SSF)? 😀

 

[C.A.B.]

Who put you in your place (SSF)? 😀

I'm sorry. All questions must be submitted in writing. If you have any questions, dial information. Thank you for calling.