Ask Me Anything :D

[slacker2114]

Have you ever done the New Zealand Polo Pony with a real pony or just with a great dane?

 

[Lamashtu]

Do you still have your baby teeth under your pillow?

 

[BlackestLily]

When I stayed at your house 1 night during nest, why did I find a slimy, half eaten cucumber under your bed...?

 

[slacker2114]

Do you prefer ky jelly or chocolate pudding for lube?

 

[Lamashtu]

I can't remember what your favourite hentai is, was it the incestuous one, or the beastiality one?

 

[slacker2114]

Is it true you believe the clinically insane make better lovers, especially without their meds?

 

[BlackestLily]

Would you consider yourself more of a rimmer or a scooper?

 

[Lamashtu]

Why did you video tape this?

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[BlackestLily]

I still don't understand why you asked to borrow Walter, but why did you return him with a brown streak down his back?

 

[Lamashtu]

Do you ever count the corn kernels in your poop?

 

[slacker2114]

Do you ever count the corn kernels in your poop?

And do you recycle it?

 

[Amnesiac]

Oooh! Oooh! I got one!

When was the last time you rectally fingered someone named Arbogast?

 

[BlackestLily]

Do you ever find peanuts in the poo even when you didn't eat any?

 

[Lamashtu]

Do you ever eat corn for the purpose of counting it in your poop after?

 

[slacker2114]

Do you ever find the fur of small animals in your poo?

 

[BlackestLily]

Does your poo ever stick to and dangle off your ass pubes? How DO you get it off?

 

[Lamashtu]

Ever peed green? Was it thick?

 

[BlackestLily]

Ever peed green? Was it thick?

Sort of like the consistency of jalapeno and guac salsa?

 

[Lamashtu]

Sort of like the consistency of jalapeno and guac salsa?

Did you use it as a condiment for chips?

 

[slacker2114]

Have you ever wiped and thought, "wow, that looks finger-lickin' good"?

 

[BlackestLily]

Do you often drink your alcohol anally? Or is that only during a romantic night?

 

[Lamashtu]

Ever go ass to mouth?

 

[slacker2114]

Wanna see a donkey show?

 

[Lamashtu]

When you got donkey punched did you anally tense up?

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

Over the years, how many times did you try to get a guy to give you the Cleveland Steamer treatment?

Too many to count. Damn them all and their unwillingness to experiment. Thank God for fetlife...

Bwhahahahahahah! It's like Gatorade, minus the electrolytes!

Following up the most appropriate facial question, have you ever had anyone perform a "Muddy Dumptruck" on you?

It was a stipulation for them to do the Cleveland Steamer - don't judge me.

How many times in the last week have you been a twat swatter?

Now this is srs bzns. I would never swat a twat.

Do the curtains match the drapes?

I thought curtains and drapes were the same thing. All this time I thought it was "Does the carpet match the drapes..." - cause don't drapes go on your windows? I'm so confused. At any rate..yes.

When doing masturbatory auto-asphyxiation on yourself, do you prefer paper or plastic?

>.>

<.<

I think I've been doing it wrong...

Speaking of which, do you still use those cute frilly little ties to hold your drapes open?

Of course. And I think of you every time

Furthermore are they still orange and have dangling monkeys attached?

Speaking of pubes, did you pluck that bush on your chest or are you still letting it roam free?

I told you, I want to become one with the monkeys...I wasn't joking.

Do you let guys blow smoke up your vag?

It's the only way I can get my fix without a coughing fit.

If your vajayjay had a face, what celebrity would it most resemble?

Nipple clamps: hot or not?

Hot...no really...like a branding iron hot *cumz*

What are you sticking in your butt nowadays?

Damn near anything I can find. It's like reverse pica...

How often do you pass gas during orgasm?

I really thought we were gonna keep that between us...

During passing gas, how many times do you orgasm?

Beginning to end, my friend.

How do you feel about experimenting with the furry side of life?

Confession: I already do. Meet my fursona.

How many times do you prefer being slapped in the face with someone's penis during foreplay? And do you prefer sweaty lighthouse print or a mushroom print?

Seven. If you put them in a nice curve shape and vary the force, you can get a nice rainbow shape that goes light to dark or dark to light...depending...

Do your hemorrhoids interfere when you have anal sex and vice versa?

In my experience, hemorrhoids greatly enhance anal sex. The stabbing pain is masked by the lubricating effect of the blood AND distracts from the "taking a shit backwards" sensation.

When with someone you REALLY love, would you rather him perform on you, an Indonesian Waterslide or a Peruvian Creamsicle?

Will haz both.

Whose leg would you be willing to hump to get a dry martini?

Doesn't matter, but whoever serves it to me better be prepared for a toothpick in his eyeball if he gives me those fucking olives. Gross.

Are you a queefer?

Ya know what, I do queef, and I'm tired of queefers getting shit from everyone. Every woman has the right to queef free!!
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When a guy told you he gave you the clap, why did you think he was applauding your sexual prowess?

Frankly I was waiting for him to stop talking and get the fuck outta my bed and make me some waffles...

When in speaking of the South, do you enjoy Colonel Angus?

No. I don't enjoy anything that starts with Colonel, because Colonel is a fucked up word. It is the platypus of phonetics.

You guys raped my thread. I'm spent for now.