Asking About Ticklishness..

[Mitchell]

I'm going to make one more comment in this thread. and then let it drop. It isn't worth arguing over.. or getting banned for.

The reason this thread got the responses it did.. is Mitch's reputation on here. It has nothing to do with "experience" or anything that anyone else said.

Very simple.. Mitch posts a .. thread.. that is not even complaining about his father.. or such.. and people see it.., it becomes "Let's jump on the bandwagon, and see how we can blow the thread up".

Do any of you KNOW Maria? Is she a member of this forum? Have any of you ever met her.. or seen her post? She is the most blunt person I know. If she wanted to say "Mitch.. I'm not interested".. or "Mitch, Go Fuck Yourself", she would do it.

It isn't at all possible that maybe she's not ready? Which is what she said. It HAS to be Mitch? Oh, I forgot.. that's right.. because.. something Mitch posts has to be spun as negative about or toward him?

I'm going to admit something., The past blowup threads of mine.. The Even Keel thread about my friend. The thread about the letter my father sent my mom, the tax thread. All 100% my fault, and should not have been posted. Personal business having nothing to go with girls, or tickling, feet, etc. I deserved what I got.

This thread.. I don't see how it's me. I posted about the interaction between us, and the conversations we've had, some of which were very personal, and such. We've discussed things that were far more personal than "Are you ticklish" My only purpose in posting this thread.. was to solicit advice about how to bring tickling into the convo.. period.

It really doesn't matter. I'm all wrong.. You're all right. Whatever.

 

[GQguy]

I love how everyone says.. "She's not attracted to you". Very presumptuous, GQ. That's not surprising, though, considering how you seem to expect everything to happen in one milsecond.

First off. I see this girl.. once a week? It isn't like she's someone on here, who I would talk to every night.

.

Those who have read my blog know about Maria. I've known her several months, and we talk.. a lot.. several times a week, for hours.

I put down two scenarios....one where she is attracted to you and one where she is not. You chose to focus on the one where she is not attracted.... Gee...I wonder why? I'm actually the only one that wrote about the possibility of her being attracted to you and how you should deal with it vs how you should deal with it if she weren't attracted to you. Taking into full account her feelings in both. There's wise advice in these here forums listen up!

Glad to hear you've got a lady friend. Good luck.

 

[ticklehound]

Just today, I asked this cutie if she's ticklish. It wasn't my intention, but it hey!

I was at the bar after work with a friend from work. He left & I was finishing my beer. When said cutie bartender came by, she looked at me. I tapped my hand flat on the bar a few times, as a sign I wanted to close out my tab. Here's the exchange:

Her: "You tapping out, baby?" (first of all, GREAT line). She brings me my check
Me: "Oh, I never tap out... 'except when I'm tickled"
Her: "Really? You ticklish?"
Me: "Yea, very much"
Her: "That's brave, I never tell anyone I'm ticklish."
Me: "Then you must be very ticklish"
Her: "I am!"

BOOM! We didn't go back to my place for a lil slap 'n' tickle, but at least I planted the seed. Hopefully, next time, I can take it a step further.

Yes, she's a bartender paid to keep my interest, in part by flirting. But if you're asking how to ask about ticklishness (as in the OP), it can be as simple as that. It may not always work, but you gotta take your shots when it's there.

 

[Mitchell]

GQ, my apologies. I was so angry at some of the other responses, that I didn't read your reply carefully enough. That is my fault. I do appreciate how you spun the possibility both ways, and didn't just focus on the negative.

hound, thanks for your advice.

 

[chicago]

I just want to know why you continue to ask questions and seek advice when you don't want to consider any responses other than the ones you want to hear / the ones that agree with you?

Did you ever think that the people that are telling you to move on or that she's not really interested are saying that so you won't continue to emotionally invest in something that will only result in your getting hurt? It's clear to many people that you're sensitive and many have learned of the shit you've been through over the course of your membership here.

When you respond the way you do, it almost feels like you want people to boost your ego and blow smoke up your ass rather than give you an honest reply.

 

[Mitchell]

Mairead, I didn't think of it that way. When you present it the way you do, I can only say one thing. I'm sorry if I came across as snippy, and I do see your point.

I see the point of saying not to continue to invest time, and about being careful because of the things I've been through. I guess.. and maybe this was my spin on it.. was I read that people were saying "We have all this experience, and you have none, and we know she's not interested in you". I'm seeing now that isn't how it was presented.

I didn't post this thread for the purpose of hearing what I want. I posted it merely to ask about how to bring up tickling to her, and it turned into something else entirely. I guess I was surprised about that.

You do make a good point about not wasting time on something that may well come to nothing. While I wont post the specifics, those who know me on here,. know I did that once, and I wasted a lot of time, for it to come to nothing.

My aunt thinks that I should just accept the situation with Maria as friendship, and keep my eyes open. I can see that point.

 

[RChello]

ding! correct!...Mitchell if you don't like the answers..don't ask the question... have fun though ...bottom line here

I just want to know why you continue to ask questions and seek advice when you don't want to consider any responses other than the ones you want to hear / the ones that agree with you?

Did you ever think that the people that are telling you to move on or that she's not really interested are saying that so you won't continue to emotionally invest in something that will only result in your getting hurt? It's clear to many people that you're sensitive and many have learned of the shit you've been through over the course of your membership here.

When you respond the way you do, it almost feels like you want people to boost your ego and blow smoke up your ass rather than give you an honest reply.

 

[rhiannon]

She claims she doesn't know if she wants to be involved with anyone

Mitch, I'm really sorry to break it down to you (yet again, as others tried already), but that is what us girls say if we do not want to be involved with the guy in front of us and try not to hurt him.

 

[ChicagoDavid]

Mitch,

I have no memory of your prior posts. I agree with the responses that say it is highly unlikely that this relationship ever will leave the friend zone. Sometimes, it's easier to see when you are not in the middle of it. Is it possible that we are all wrong? Sure. If you posted that you left 2 messages for a woman and she did not call you back, so you figured maybe something was wrong with her messaging system, as she really seemed to like you, so you were thinking of stopping by her home, everyone would say, "don't do it -- she is not interested." Possible that there is in fact a problem with her messaging system? Sure. But real world experience is, no matter how much she seemed to like you, the nonresponse to 2 messages tells the tale.

That does not mean you should give up on her. If you enjoy her friendship, by all means -- be friends! But if you are looking for more, the odds are not impossible, but they are not good.

Also, I would say that if this is someone you see regularly, a quick tickle and see the reaction is well within normal social bounds. If she has been regularly speaking with you for months, it should be no big deal.

 

[SoleMates]

The reason this thread got the responses it did.. is Mitch's reputation on here. It has nothing to do with "experience" or anything that anyone else said.

...the fuck, dude? Look at my join date. I have no idea who you are, or your "reputation".

 

[Mitchell]

I was just looking at the ORIGINAL topic, and first post in this thread.

The ORIGINAL topic, and first post in this thread was.. "How to work tickling into the conversation/asking about ticklishness".

I clearly said.. "The point of this thread is not to ascertain.. or discuss. what my relationship is.. or isn't. with her. " I wasn't looking for an analysis of.. "Well,, she has you in the friend zone".. or any of the other potshots I got in this thread.. about those who have "more experience" than me.

The ONLY topic I wanted discussed, and that SHOULD have been discussed, in accordance with the supposed "TMF rule of being on topic, or off topic".. is how.. or whether.. yes.. or not.. to work tickling into the conversation.

Like I said.. the rules seem to be different for me. I post something, that is not a complaint.. about a friend, not a complaint about my father.. etc. I post something as benign as "How do I bring up tickling in a conversation", and it has to turn into this. A spin of what my situation is,., or isn't with her, which really doesn't matter, and ways to take potshots at Mitch.

Like I said, none of this matters. Let it die . and let all those who are doing the usual to me, have your fun, because this is what's allowed. I'm not going to post anything further on what I will or wont do, because that isn't the point. This thread shows me just how severe things are for me on here. Not only cant I post something personal. I cant even discuss how to mention tickling to a girl. As I said before, I take responsibility for the past mega personal threads about my father.., etc that blew up in my face. I don't take responsibility for this thread. This thread turned into something completely different than it was intended, because that is what's allowed, when it comes to me.

One final comment.. When I brought up the situation of mentioning my foot fetish to Maria on the Wu's foot forum, THEIR reaction was "Good job at doing that.. keep talking to her, and see what happens", instead of "We have more experience than you." "She has you in the friend zone", and "Don't post personal shit on here". Bringing tickling into the conversation with a girl you know isn't "Personal" ,like it would be, if Mitch posted about a fight with his father.

We've now come to a point where I cant post asking a girl about tickling on here. What comes next? Later this year.. or next year.. Mitch posts " Finally found a great girl with all the vanilla qualities, and she's okay with my foot fetish, and being tickled". The replies, (Which will be allowed, because after all its me), will be "Enjoy the tickling while you can.. because in short order she will leave you,. and you will be alone again".

THAT is more pathetic than anything I've ever posted.

 

[Dr. Vollin]

I still haven't learned my lesson it seems to either blog it.. or keep it off of here.

It doesn't matter what the thread is about....it always, without exception, ends up going down this road - complete with the "I'm going to make one more comment and let it drop" (you know you won't let it drop, so just stop saying that already). The "lesson" you haven't learned isn't a complicated one; you evidently just don't want to learn it.

This thread serves as a reminder.. one I need to remember.

But you won't, that's the pity of it.

 

[rhiannon]

Mitch, if you only wanted to know how to bring up tickling in the conversation, then why all the detail about how things have been going between the two of you? Wouldn't have been necessary!

 

[Mitchell]

rhiannon, to answer your question.,. I wanted to discuss how the situation has been going between us.. to see if anyone would have a suggestion of how to bring tickling into the conversation.

Also, for argument's sake... In a case like this.. does it really matter whether or not Mitch and Maria are.. friends.. friends with benefits.. feeling each other out to see how to become bf and gf.. or actual budding bf and gf? Such really isn't the point.

Like I said.., it doesn't matter anymore. The thread is what it is.. It will die.. whenever.

 

[rhiannon]

does it really matter whether or not Mitch and Maria are.. friends.. friends with benefits.. feeling each other out to see how to become bf and gf.. or actual budding bf and gf?

Of course it matters! But seriously - if you can't bring tickling up in a conversation without asking others how to, then you probably have a gut feeling that it will be awkward....and then it will be awkward!

 

[chicago]

Did you ask her out? What was her response?

 

[Candygirl]

...I wanted to discuss how the situation has been going between us.. to see if anyone would have a suggestion of how to bring tickling into the conversation.

Also, for argument's sake... In a case like this.. does it really matter whether or not Mitch and Maria are.. friends.. friends with benefits.. feeling each other out to see how to become bf and gf.. or actual budding bf and gf? Such really isn't the point.

So, just so we're all clear, you wanted to bring up how things were going with you to see if there were any suggestions, even though in regards to the answer to your original question, it doesn't matter how things were going? Or am I missing something?

Regardless, best of luck, and as I think I already said, you are the only one who can decide what's right for you.

 

[TickledToDeath]

Seems to me as if you have little to nothing to loose.
Next time you meet with her....give her a hug and "accidentally" wiggle your fingers into her ribs.
The WHOOPS factor works every time.

 

[Mitchell]

Mairead, I'm not going to post an answer to your question, because I've already answered it. Your question serves to just spin the whole thing over and over again in the same way.

For everyone who "thinks they know". Oh, that's right, I forgot, because you all have so much more "experience" at this, than me..

I've been at this.,, close to 30 years. (The asking girls out thing). NEVER once in the 30 years that I've been "rejected" did ANYONE say what she said to me. The following were the answers when I got rejected.

1. "I have a boyfriend, sorry, I'm taken"

2. "You're a really nice guy, but I only like you as a friend, and don't think of you in that way".

3. "Get the fuck out of here". (Or some variation of such)

NEVER ONCE in.. 28 years. (The first time I can remember "iiking a girl" in that way was when I was 15) did anyone EVER say to me.. " I don't want to be involved with anyone now.. I don't think I'd be right for anyone".. Which is EXACTLY what she said.

Of course, everyone on TMF. (The mavens on the world) HAS to assume it's me.. You all know, her.. her life.. her emotional state.,. what she feels. and what she's been through.

Again, I give up. I can't win. You're all 100% right, and I'm all 100% wrong. You all have so much more "Life experience than me".

I know what I should really do, but I've had so many changes in my life, that I cant bring myself to. I'm not going to post a "farewell thread" like I did in 2011, and then stay and look like an asshole. So, all I can do, is to remain as mute as possible.

Un fucking real.

One final thing..

She also said to me.. "If it was going to be anyone for a relationship, it would be you".

Again, no matter what evidence I present.. it wont matter.

 

[Mitchell]

TTD, thank you for advice that is at least on topic. I appreciate it.

 

[voided9]

The more casual you are about it, the better! If you guys are having a flirty conversation, I'm sure it'd be fine if you just kind of jokingly said "Are you ticklish?" Either way I hope it works out for you =]

 

[Mitchell]

Brandi, thank you. I greatly appreciate your sincere advice, and the fact that you addressed the original topic of my thread.

 

[Libertine]

"Love begins with love. Friendship, however warm, cannot change into love, however mild."
-Jean de La Bruyère (16 August 1645 – 10 May 1696)

In other words, if there's no spark, not even the very slightest at the beginning between the two of you, things will not ignite.

Sorry.

HOWEVER, at least you are talking to a real live woman in person. Take the lessons learned from that interaction into the next one, spread your nets wide, ie talk to a lot of women in your day to day life, rather than putting your eggs in a single basket, and eventually you will find one or two of your circle of female acquaintances are sending out nonverbal signals indicating they want to take things further.

 

[Mitchell]

Great, a double potshot.

Not only.., a spin on the situation with this girl.. but also a potshot at me in general, "At least I'm talking to a real live woman". (Quote by you)

You KNOW just how many "real live" women I talk to.., Libertine?

I post on this forum about every move I make in my real life?

Considering your history, your post doesn't surprise me. I take it at face value.

 

[TickledToDeath]

TTD, thank you for advice that is at least on topic. I appreciate it.

You are most welcome.
Since there really is no way around asking someone...Are You Ticklish? other than asking Are You Ticklish? Without asking Are You Ticklish? The Only way to find out is to casual tickle that person and the only way to avoid the too direct approach by just flat out poking the person seeming as I think you may feel you would be seen by her...then the only way left is the WHOOPS approach. Her stating her feet are ugly and her always wearing sneakers as you mentioned, leaves out the foot massage whoops test tickle....OR you could maybe see it as her always wearing sneakers and saying her feet are ugly avoiding anyone seeing her bare feet...perhaps could be due to the fact the she is insanely ticklish on her feet and is deathly afraid of baring them for fear of them being tickled.... try and convince yourself of that if it helps you sleep better thereby answering your question...lol
Or you could just wait for the right moment in casual conversation and flat out ask.
Carry on my friend and good luck in your quest!