Asking About Ticklishness..

[Mitchell]

Prime, I had to laugh when I saw your post. Did you read my mind when you said "Maria asked me the size of my penis".

Not exactly, but.. um.. she did ask me if I have trouble.. performing sexually. or sustaining. The question shocked me, because.. other than people I was physically involved with.. or close. close friends.. no one has ever asked me that before.

It wasn't so much that I got pissed about people disagreeing with me. I bring up a topic, asking about tickling.. and people are going off "She only likes you as a friend, yada. ". To me, two separate subjects.. tickling., and analyzing the relationship,. One has nothing to do with the other.

You mentioned I was doing great blogging., Er.. not so much. I had decided to keep any personal information about my father off the main forum, considering the backlash that its gotten me in the past. So.. I posted in the blog about something that's going on between me and him now, and got absolutely hammered.. with an attack that had nothing to do with the topic. I promptly deleted the entry.

As for whether to ask her.. I want to.. but since I last saw her, and posted this thread.. some things have occurred, that make me unsure about doing it. I'll have to think about it.

 

[Angel_2]

you wanna ask her if she is ticklish? do it this way, when you next see her tell her that her hair looks nice and ask if she got it done in a salon. they you could also mention that her nails look nice also. you could ask if she gets them done professionally or dose them herself. Either reply still leaves you an opening to ask "the question" if she says professionally you could follow up by saying, "really how can you stand to get pedicures it must tickle so much" OR if she dose them herself you could either say "oh that's cool I guess you do them yourself cause you can't stand being tickled when they do your feet" OR offer to do her nails for her (mostly in a kinda kidding way) as long as you tell her not to kick you in the face cause it might tickle her." bingo! you get your answer and don't have that uncomfortable feeling of how she will react to "the question" because it came up within the flow of the conversion.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks, Angel. I appreciate the advice.

 

[Jagermeistered]

you wanna ask her if she is ticklish? do it this way, when you next see her tell her that her hair looks nice and ask if she got it done in a salon. they you could also mention that her nails look nice also. you could ask if she gets them done professionally or dose them herself. Either reply still leaves you an opening to ask "the question" if she says professionally you could follow up by saying, "really how can you stand to get pedicures it must tickle so much" OR if she dose them herself you could either say "oh that's cool I guess you do them yourself cause you can't stand being tickled when they do your feet" OR offer to do her nails for her (mostly in a kinda kidding way) as long as you tell her not to kick you in the face cause it might tickle her." bingo! you get your answer and don't have that uncomfortable feeling of how she will react to "the question" because it came up within the flow of the conversion.

That is a lengthy setup... 😛

Why not just a good 'ole fashioned, "Nice shoes, wanna tickle-fuck?!"

 

[Angel_2]

If it works that's the only thing that matters

That is a lengthy setup... 😛

Why not just a good 'ole fashioned, "Nice shoes, wanna tickle-fuck?!"

 

[voided9]

That is a lengthy setup... 😛

Why not just a good 'ole fashioned, "Nice shoes, wanna tickle-fuck?!"

Haha I was thinking the same thing =P But yeah, the easier/simpler the setup the better. No need to over-complicate =]

 

[RUNOFFSTAGE]

Most of the time when a guy's found out that I'm ticklish it's been through me dropping some smart-ass comment, leading him to squeeze my knee or grab my side as punishment (more like "funishment"). Perhaps that approach would work, provided you're close enough for touching to be okay?

 

[Mitchell]

As long as comments are still being posted in this thread.. I thought I would post the end result to this..

I saw Maria today.

When she discussed her shopping "problem", I tried to bring the topic of tickling in a roundabout way by saying. " I could solve your shopping problem. Every time you shop, and I'd find out about it, I'd hold you down, and tickle you to death, until you promised to stop shopping". She smiled, and gave no reply. I think that qualifies.. as a "Tried to get an answer, and she wouldn't bite".

Then.. without saying it was a "Tickling chatroom". (Although she does know I belong to an adult chatroom). I told her.. "The people in the chatroom I belong to.. have told me that the reason you don't want to go out with me, is because you don't think of me in the "boyfriend way", and that the only reason you said you don't want to be with anyone,. is to be nice, and let me down easy. I said to her "I will not be mad at you if you tell me that its me". Her reply was. "Mitch, it isn't you. I seriously don't want to be with anyone right now". She does have her "Friend with benefits". I asked her if he is her bf, and her answer was "No".

I know that it isn't going to go anywhere, but I'm going to take what she said at face value, and as for finding out if she's ticklish.. I don't plan to persue that subject again, unless she unexpectedly tells me she wants to get serious with me.

Hopefully this will close the topic.

 

[rhiannon]

Then.. without saying it was a "Tickling chatroom". (Although she does know I belong to an adult chatroom). I told her.. "The people in the chatroom I belong to.. have told me that the reason you don't want to go out with me, is because you don't think of me in the "boyfriend way", and that the only reason you said you don't want to be with anyone,. is to be nice, and let me down easy.

Mitch, I don't know about anybody else, but I would think it to be very weird if someone told me something like that! Plus, if she has a friend with benefits who is not her boyfriend, she could as well have you as a second one, but she doesn't seem interested in that way.

 

[BMoreTklr]

Mitch, I don't know about anybody else, but I would think it to be very weird if someone told me something like that!

Agreed....that's just.....well, let me ask this....did you think that telling her about the opinions of those in this adult chatroom you're a part of would make her "see the light" and see you as the option?

Why not just a good 'ole fashioned, "Nice shoes, wanna tickle-fuck?!"

I'm going to have try this one day lol......it's at least a better option than telling her the opinion people on the internet have about her actions. I'm just sayin

 

[SoleMates]

Every time you shop, and I'd find out about it, I'd hold you down, and tickle you to death, until you promised to stop shopping".

Wow. Talk about totally random and out-of-the-blue. Of all the ways you could have brought it up...

Her reply was. "Mitch, it isn't you. I seriously don't want to be with anyone right now".

And yet, as Rhiannon said, she's banging some other guy.

She may in fact be telling you the truth, Mitch... but my experience with women (sorry ladies!) is that most of them would rather get an arm broken than tell a guy they're not interested. They usually don't come clean unless you force the issue somehow. Which, of course, I don't recommend.

Anyway, at the risk of beating a dead horse and drawing more accusations of dogpiling on the rabbit, I really think you went about this whole thing backwards... and you still need to work on bringing up THE QUESTION in a way that doesn't leave the askee wondering "...what the hell?" - 'cause honestly, if someone I wasn't in a relationship with said something to me about holding me down and doing ANYTHING to me, my response would be "...uh, no. You stay over there."

* Edited to add:

did you think that telling her about the opinions of those in this adult chatroom you're a part of would make her "see the light" and see you as the option?

"Hey, all these people in an adult chatroom told me that you're not interested in me. Is it true?"

Talk about putting her on the spot. You really think she'd come right out and admit it without putting a spin on it in such a way that didn't make it seem like she wasn't rejecting you directly?

 

[GQguy]

but my experience with women (sorry ladies!) is that most of them would rather get an arm broken than tell a guy they're not interested. They usually don't come clean unless you force the issue somehow. Which, of course, I don't recommend.

Truth. A woman has ALOT to lose when she tells a guy that's interested in her that she's not interested. Until a guy realizes that she's not into him he'll bend over backward for her, listen to her....pretty much be the perfect boyfriend....minus the physical intimacy part. Why ruin a good deal! Besides....she might at some point want to go out with the guy...it's better to just lead the donkey with the carrot stick.

The above is my opinion of any situation like this in general....I won't dare speak on what's going on in the OP's situation.

 

[Mitchell]

Okay, tell you what.. to hopefully calm this subject down once and for all.. All of you are 100% right, and I'm, wrong, k? I admit it.. The truth is.. I REALLY don't care anymore. There are millions of other women out there, many of them younger, more educated, and prettier, than Maria is. So.. I struck out with a girl. BIG FUCKING DEAL. It's mildly disappointing compared to the other things that have happened to me since Feb 2012.

I'm sure this will go on for another week. Whatever.

 

[primetime]

Okay, tell you what.. to hopefully calm this subject down once and for all.. All of you are 100% right, and I'm, wrong, k? I admit it.. The truth is.. I REALLY don't care anymore. There are millions of other women out there, many of them younger, more educated, and prettier, than Maria is. So.. I struck out with a girl. BIG FUCKING DEAL. It's mildly disappointing compared to the other things that have happened to me since Feb 2012.

I'm sure this will go on for another week. Whatever.

Mitch, and you wonder why your threads derail into what they usually become. Whenever you read something that is not "sympathetic" to whatever you are trying to get advice for, you get defensive. It is like you practically beg for this kind of attention. You do realize that this thread was going to go away until YOU posted again. The last post was 5/19/2013, then here you come. If you NEVER mention what happened between you and Maria in the last interaction, no one would chime in their opinion. No one even put in a post asking for an update. YOU caused this latest issue with yourself.

As for what happened in your interaction, no one can speak for Maria. Who knows what is in her mind. Anyone (men) who thinks they understand women, then they are just as crazy as they are. lol You gave an attempt to ask the question, it didn't go smooth in some people's view, but it doesn't necessarily mean they are wrong or you are wrong. Why get so worked up when it is YOU that brings up these situations? Just keep it to yourself or even your blog. Yes, you may get some comments there, but NOTHING like what you get here.

Just chill. You keep banging your own head into the wall. Like I have mentioned to you before, if you continue to do what you do (post threads, get upset over differing opinions and letting threads "live") then you deserve whatever happens. Seriously man, you keep causing your own grief and you keep wondering how this happens.

I hope you find someone special Mitch, I really do. But stop relying on what WE think to control your stress and happiness in life. I have all kinds of crazy things happen, but notice I never bring them up...

 

[GQguy]

There are millions of other women out there, many of them younger, more educated, and prettier, than Maria is. So.. I struck out with a girl. BIG FUCKING DEAL.

This a million times! You get what we're trying to tell you! Now go out there, meet some new women that like you and find out if they're ticklish the old fashioned way....tickling them!

Man....if I had a dollar for everytime I struck out..I'd be a millionaire. Women aren't easy, you'll get better at it as time goes on.

 

[chicago]

If you hadn't mentioned Maria and the whole entire backstory between her and you, and referenced that there was more to that story in your blog, no one would have commented on it. You putting that information into the thread, made it seem important to the answer. Does that make sense? No one would have considered it, had you not mentioned it. If you just said, "There's a girl I like and while we're not dating, I am hoping that will change. I want to find out if she's ticklish, but not sure how to bring it up. Any advice?" You would have gotten more direct answers, I think.

The people that did comment on it that said it was probably best to move on, did so because the information you added here about Maria made it clear that she didn't seem interested in anything more than what you guys already have. Yeah, there was always the slim chance that that assessment was wrong, but I don't think people were telling you 'she's not interested' to hurt your feelings. Rather, to spare them, so you didn't invest more time and emotion into something that didn't look like it was going to work out.

People get so upset because they honestly are trying to give you the best advice they can based on their knowledge and experience and based on the information and set up of your question, (and just because it is not what you were hoping to hear, does not mean it's an insult to you) but you always see the responses as being so negative, and then you respond either with anger or with this victim mentality. That is why all your threads degrade into the same argument of why do you ask for advice when it seems you can't handle many of the responses.

If you really want this type of stuff to stop, keep your personal life to your blog. I don't know how Maria feels about being brought up on a website of this context to begin with, but at least in your blog it is somewhat out of the main sight of most members. Don't contradict yourself - if you say you're not going to respond, don't. If you say you're not going to bring up your personal life here, don't. If you say the topic is not about Maria in this thread, don't put that back story in there and don't continue to post updates about when you see her. Until you can handle responses of all kinds and all opinions, I'd say stick to your blogs.

 

[SoleMates]

There are millions of other women out there, many of them younger, more educated, and prettier, than Maria is.

...wow. Again. And this is someone you purported to care about.

I keep turning this over and over in my head and I can't come away with an interpretation of it that doesn't make you out to be a complete jerk.

And with that, I'm out. Enjoy your train wreck.

And, PS:

The people that did comment on it that said it was probably best to move on, did so because the information you added here about Maria made it clear that she didn't seem interested in anything more than what you guys already have. Yeah, there was always the slim chance that that assessment was wrong, but I don't think people were telling you 'she's not interested' to hurt your feelings.

This. Again, I had no fucking clue who you were before I came into this thread. I thought I'd try and help. I wasn't sitting here cackling gleefully and rubbing my hands together while plotting how best to destroy you. That's all in your head, bud. You're just gonna keep making these same mistakes over and over again and wondering why nothing ever changes until you realize that.

 

[GQguy]

...wow. Again. And this is someone you purported to care about.

I keep turning this over and over in my head and I can't come away with an interpretation of it that doesn't make you out to be a complete jerk.

And with that, I'm out. Enjoy your train wreck.

Aww. Come on. The girl he was into that says "she's not ready for a relationship" is hooking up with another guy. We all agree that she's not being truthful. He's not a jerk for looking at the brighter side of things. There are other fish in the sea....as much as he wanted this particular one.

 

[Mitchell]

Solemates, thank you for your assessment of me. The feeling is mutual.

Thanks, GQ. Keep rubbing it in.

I'm going to tell all of you geniuses something about WHY I was focused on this girl, and if it blows this thread up further, I seriously don't give a fuck.

With all that has happened to me the past year.. The loss of my mom.. the attitude of my friends and family, and my own feelings about such, and my life changes,.,. I was looking for SOMETHING positive, as I was trying to rebuild my life.

When my mom was alive.. we were each other's advocates. Me with her illness and her doctors, even though I've documented how I behaved in NJ, and the mistakes I've made there. Her with helping me deal with my other less than stellar family members.

What do I have now? Hmmm.. Let's see.

One best friend, Barney, whose attitude toward me fluctuates according to how his life is. If he's going badly.. he wants me to lick his wounds. If he's going well.. he rubs it in.. day after day. Right now, things are going very well for him, so he calls me day after day, to rub it in my face.

Another best friend, who is devoted to his gay lover, and also runs his relationship with me, according to how he wants it.

A father.,,. who has spent this year behaving just terribly to me. He does and says just what he wants, without any consideration of how his actions affect me.

Two aunts, with such troubled lives.. who can do nothing but go on about their own problems, and listen.

My biggest advocate.. my mom.. is six feet under.

Soo. I thought to myself.. "Okay, this is someone who is responding positively to me.. Is a nice person. Just maybe.. she and I can get something going here, and help each other, and we can serve to make each other feel better.

My quip about Maria and the idea of finding a "younger, better looking girl",. was NOT in any way directed at her. It was directed in complete frustration, of being beaten up in this thread.. for a week.

My REAL feeling about the situation with Maria,.

As I've said before.. I'm mildly disappointed that it isn't going to work out. After all else that has happened to me in the past three years.. that's all it is, mild.

That's all. No matter what I say.. the beat will go on. I don't expect any of you to understand the true motiviation behind why I wanted this to work out, but it doesn't matter.

 

[chicago]

I reread the last three posts and while they may not have been covered in sugar and butterflies and rainbows, they were in no way 'beating you up.'

Why you continue to read everything as an attack is something I will never understand. The sooner you realize that not everyone is out to ruin your life, the better you'll probably feel about lots of things in general.

 

[Libertine]

My biggest advocate.. my mom.. is six feet under.

With respect, I really think it's time to become your own biggest advocate and stop relying on the Forum or your relatives for self-justification. Talk to as many girls as you can so small talk/conversation comes more easily and all your eggs aren't in one basket. Then when you feel one is returning your serves, take things further with her.

 

[Mitchell]

Mairead, when solemates called me a "Jerk", I think that qualifies as an attack.

My aunt, who is 65 years old, and has much more experience with relationships than anyone in this thread,, has a completely different experience and viewpoint than any of you.

Everyone here is all "She doesn't like you, and she's just letting you down easily".

My aunt's viewpoint is this: She thinks that it might simply be that Maria is having a hard time breaking away from the other guy.. both emotionally, and sexually.. and is having trouble trying something new. My aunt's view is that maybe Maria doesn't want to go out with me, because if she gets the yen to run back to the other guy.. she's concerned about the effect it would have.. if it doesn't work out.

I've accepted the fact that its not going to work out for a serious relationship., My aunt told me she believes this as well.

 

[Mitchell]

Libertine, trust me.. I don't rely on this forum for an advocate.

Something you also don't understand in what I meant about "advocate".

My father has.,. his wife.. his brother.. his cousins, everyone who is on his side in his war against me. Neither he, or any of them, are ever able to see my point of view.

I think many people have "advocates". Husbands can be their wives advocates.. boyfriends can be their girlfriends advocates, etc.

If I was in a position to tell my entire family, and my two best friends, to go to hell, people on this forum would see a completely different Mitch. I remember times when my mom did many things, that weren't always to her best interests. All these people care about is themselves.

I do plan to talk to other girls.

Right now, I just want to digest all of this.

 

[SoleMates]

Aww. Come on. The girl he was into that says "she's not ready for a relationship" is hooking up with another guy. We all agree that she's not being truthful. He's not a jerk for looking at the brighter side of things. There are other fish in the sea....as much as he wanted this particular one.

Maybe so, but as soon as it hit home that she wasn't an option he was all like, "Whatevs, she wasn't so hot anyway. I can do better."

Sour grapes, dismissive, and kind of insulting. Especially if they were as close as he's swearing up and down that they were.

Mairead, when solemates called me a "Jerk", I think that qualifies as an attack.

I didn't call you a jerk, skippy. I said what you wrote makes you sound like one. Right now you sound bitter, defensive, angry, and really, really not over all the crap that happened to you before. Are you getting help for it? If not, I really suggest that you do.

Also, we're idiots and you came to us for advice?

My aunt's viewpoint is this: She thinks that it might simply be that Maria is having a hard time breaking away from the other guy.. both emotionally, and sexually.. and is having trouble trying something new. My aunt's view is that maybe Maria doesn't want to go out with me, because if she gets the yen to run back to the other guy.. she's concerned about the effect it would have.. if it doesn't work out.

Your aunt (who is a wise woman, btw) didn't really contradict anything we said. All she did was offer her spin on why Maria might not be interested. Whether it's because she's scared of new things, you personally repulse her, or her moon is in the second house and she shouldn't be embarking on any new relationships until Jupiter aligns with Mars... she's not interested. And that's all any of us were ever saying. Not "she's not interested because you, Mitchell, are a horrible person who needs to go die in all the fires". You added that last part yourself and then exploded on everyone for stuff they never said.

Yeah, yeah. I said I was done, but I just ate a lot of sushi and I can't get out of my chair. SOMEBODY HELP ME

 

[chicago]

Yeah, Sole called you a jerk, not really exactly so succinctly, but I can't really blame him the way you responded to his posts earlier, which couldn't have been misconstrued for attacks at all. You also apparently felt that GQ was attacking you, but he was actually encouraging you in his last post. It's interesting that you can so readily assume that someone is out to get you, but never really see where maybe you could have gone wrong, or said something that rubbed anyone else the wrong way. Interesting...

And saying your family gave you different advice kinda doesn't even matter. They probably did so because family members tend to love you because they're...family and deal with you on a daily basis. They probably know first hand that you respond to anything other than positive reinforcement with the type of behavior we have seen unravel here over...and over... and over again. So they probably alter their words accordingly. And they may be biased as well, since they don't want to upset you. Though, your aunt did say that you should probably move on from Maria as she didn't seem interested in dating anyone - not unlike what some of us said to you here.

And it's not that people here don't want to see you happy. But unfortunately, you continue to feel that people want you miserable. And yet, you'll continue to share your lifes issues with this forum. Doesn't really make sense. Why continue to share your personal life on a fetish forum just to get upset? I mean, not once have you walked away from a thread like this feeling positive. And to be honest, do you really feel that a fetish website is the right avenue for this type of thing? I don't get it.