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Curroupt a Wish

Granted- But you are in the kitchen cooking the food and not getting to see anyone or taste it

I wish people liked me

DJ Tickler
 
Granted. Now everyone will kill you with kindness.



I wish it wasn't so damn cold out.
 
Granted...but you suck at it and get fired.



I wish I was at home cozied up under a blanket and watching a sappy chick flick - with copius amounts of chocolate. :justlips:
 
Granted, but the blanket is too thin, the dvd player goes on the fritz and the chocolate is all melted.



I wish I didn't have to go anywhere right now.
 
Granted. But you will anyway because your leg is asleep.

I wish I could stay clean-shaven forever.

Snail Shell
 
Granted. A guy named Roscoe will be over to take care of that with his trusty belt sander tomorrow.



I wish I had a better understanding of the world around me.
 
Granted- But due to an accident that has left you paralyzed, you can't tell or do anything with your new knowledge, just sit there and stare

I wish I could write a great novel

DJ Tickler
 
Granted. Immediately after writing the greatest novel ever written, you spontaneously combust while holding the manuscript for the book, thus incinerating it.



I wish it would liven up around here.
 
Granted- Every vanilla person discovers the TMF at the same time, thus not only crashing the system, but also meaning we become subject to MORE ridicule...Jezz thanks😛 LOL

I wish I had a cold beer right now

DJ Tickler
 
Granted. It's the most delicious looking beer you've ever had. Just as you're about to take a sip, you spontaneously combust and never get to taste it.



I wish I could get over this spontaneously combusting kick.
 
Granted- You spontaneously combust, thus solving your problem

I wish the washing was done already

DJ Tickler
 
Granted. But now the drying will take a few weeks.



I wish I had tickets to go to an awesome metal concert.
 
Granted- Unfortunately the tickets were fake so you weren’t able to get in

I wish I could do magic better

DJ Tickler
 
Granted, but the pixie dust you need comes from Richard Simmons.

I wish I had a root beer.

Rob
 
Granted- a 6 foot talking beer comes behind you and rapes you

I wish I had 10 tons of gold

DJ Tickler
 
Granted, but upon closer inspection you realize it's actually those chocolate coins wrapped in gold colored paper (yeah I'm on a chocolate kick today LOL)

I wish I'd stop getting sucked into working!
 
Granted- Now you have been Blown into work

I wish I have an MG (Its an English car)

DJ Tickler
 
Granted...but they made yours special so that it only gets 1 mpg 😀

I wish that someone was here to keep me company.
 
Granted. Say hello to your new friend, Fran Drescher.



I wish I didn't feel tired right now.
 
Granted- I have slipped some Crack into you drink and the police have just arrested you for drug possesion

I wish I could be anywhere I wanted

DJ Tickler
 
Granted -- but everybody hates you there...so they tar and feather you 🙁

I wish I had a some ice cold CLEAN water
 
Granted. An iceberg just crashed thru your living room wall.


I wish to live a long, healthy life.
 
Granted, but you have to live it as a hermit on the top of a hill in Iceland.

I wish I could grow a thick dark beard.
 
True - but now everyone thinks your Amish and they start giving you barnyard animals for your birthday

I wish I had on different shoes
 
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