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Curroupt a Wish

granted, but you'll have the intensity of a match


I wish to not work graveyard shift
 
Granted. You now work both of the other shifts back-to-back.



I wish my day would get better.
 
Granted. Your post count just grew by one.

I wish these emoticons would quit moving. I'm getting dizzy.

Snail Shell
 
Granted. The emotes stop, but your eyes start moving to make up for it.



I wish that the world would stop for awhile.
 
Granted. The Earth has stopped spinning, so everything goes flying off into space.

It's the apocalypse alright. I always knew Slacker would have a hand in it. 😉

I wish space was warmer.

Snail Shell
 
Granted. You are buffeted by the solar wind which, while warming, speeds your further from home.

(And what can I say? I have a job to do.)


I wish the ladies from the TMF would come back to Earth.
 
Granted, but they come back as munchkins, and sends you back to the land of Oz

I wish for some lunch
 
Granted- Your sloppy shit sandwich is ready now and very fresh LOL

I wish I had a cool signature

DJ Tickler
 
Granted, but it is quickly removed because of copyright infringement.

I wish I had another pair of sweatpants.

Rob
 
Granted. But they're too small and they cut off all circulation after putting them on.


I wish I had something tasty to eat right now.
 
Granted, but you had to take it out of Shamu's mouth.

I wish I had a pony.

Rob
 
Granted, but it's one of the four ponies of the apocalypse. Good luck to you.


I wish Nest was sooner.
 
Granted, but your knocked unconscious until May by Sally Struthers left breast.

I wish QVC was selling better things right now.

Rob
 
Granted. They're now selling crap instead of godawful crap.



I wish I could get rid of this damn cough.
 
Granted, but a giant lizard holds your head in a dirty toilet bowl, which makes you stop.

I wish I had bought more than 1 winning lottery ticket tonight.

Rob
 
Granted. But you spent an extra $200 to get that 2nd one, which was for only $2.00.....and the giant lizard mugs you for it.


I wish they'd make more super hero movies that are good.
 
Granted, but its starring the giant lizard that put your face in the toilet and mugged me.

I wish we could kill this damn giant lizard before he grows to powerful.

Rob
 
Granted, but before he dies, he stole all your money and hid it without ever telling you where it is.



I wish to have a Viking funeral when I die. And no, not the Minnesota Vikings either.
 
Granted, but its done in the East River.

I wish I had my LCD TV right now.

Rob
 
Granted. It's now reached a humid 120 degrees in the shade.



I wish football season was longer.
 
Granted, but you are now Michael Vick....long enough now?


I wish I had a new car.

Rob
 
granted but you get nothing but coal and a used battery.

I wish I had a v-8.

Rob
 
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